BREAKTIME SPOOF #7
"I'LL NAME IT EVENTUALLY, I'M SURE"
Mainly this is yet another thing that happens between the regular spoofs particularly when there's to be new people brought in. We have their demands and their agreement of a contract to put together. (Or they just sell us their souls for our use on the Dark Side.) For those who have not read the original spoofs, check my page here, there's links where you can still find the originals. (Removed from ff. net due to script formatting.) There are references and our entire cast of characters in residence is pretty much insane because of us. But overall you do not have to read the rest to read this one. I'll explain whatever you find confusing.
For our normal readers, I know it's not the regular spoofs, but you all know these Breaktime stories tend to turn out really messed up. The usual characters are still there but I've taken on several new ones I've been looking to add for a while and decided to put together something to kill time waiting on writer's block, family problems, etc and just break them all in at the same time.
First off to begin, you'll notice where this story is posted. (Yes it is supposed to be in Hellraiser) That'll be where the main characters come from. Second, that it has to be rated R or M. This is for blood and general gore. I really tried to use these people and not have them make too big a mess of my SpoofSet, but for those who know them well, you know that's impossible. They just can't behave….and they have no respect people's cleaned carpets.
[Archie pats Cassi's shoulder. "Let it go love."]
["Shut up, Pet."]
[The group on the floor looks up at her.]
["Keep scrubbing!" She orders loudly. "That carpet is going to be spotless or you'll be here ALL NIGHT! And I mean the WALL, TOO!"]
Right then, anyhow I don't own them and hold no responsibility for any strange behavior they pick up here. (We've warped everyone else that's come through our doors, why not these guys too?)
Fun Fact: The places the other new characters are from will be listed as they come into the story. Also I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that high ranking Officials in hell are going to know each other even if it's by rumor or name. So don't freak out if some are familiar with the reputations of others.
Fun Fact 2: Cassi no longer has her trademarked skunk striped hair. The hair is now copper red, with a bleached streak in the center back. It's grown out a lot and I haven't had the chance to put it back to 'normal' yet. (Yes, Cassi does procrastinate very well. Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off for at least another month)
I've also tried to keep them in character as much as possible but what can I say? Insanity is VERY contagious and we've got it in spades. So this is a massive amount of exposure….and honestly Blackheart was messed up before we got him, so if he corrupts anyone….in particular, we are not responsible for that.
A/N For those unfamiliar with the regular spoofs (this note will not appear in the yahoo group version) Characters are going to come from a variety of different places. There's not enough space here to name all as I don't yet know who will be in residence during this story. Needless to say the major residents some with us for years and have new lives that have happened during the spoof series (like Dr. Carter from ER being Ardeth Bay's brother in law and a Med-jai, Glory getting married to the Mummy…all this is in the regular spoof series) I will however point out where the more popular regular people come from. –Horatio Hornblower, ER, Titanic, BtVS, LotR, PotC, Jurassic Park movies (dino names and personalities belong to us and yes they DO talk—we have no idea how many Raptors there are because they quit wearing number tags when they got name tags), The Mummy 1&2, Narnia movies (Aslan), MacGyver (Murdoc), Blown Away (Ryan Gaerity) and Freddy and Jason will likely make appearances as well since they ARE in residence and have been appearing in breaktime spoofs for a looooong time.
Between The Spoofs: Administration/New Peoples/Breaktime Spoof # 7 (Season 7)
By Cassi (EvilSpoofAuthorCassi)
CHAPTER ONE: "OPENING THE PUZZLE BOX . . . FOR DUMMIES"
Seated at Cassi's desk beside his favorite partner in mischief, Archie Kennedy tipped his chair back and nodded at something Cassi was showing him on her laptop screen. She had come into the office to have this discussion with Archie, Romano and Lights because not only was her room still a disaster in addition to the laundry piles Cassi was sorting through, but her room was also the equivalent of a sauna from the heat.
Other than Cassi and her Assistants with the regular group in residence at the SpoofSet Complex, the other Directors were not present. Becca was getting married and had taken time off, and Amanda and her group had been rather busy as of lately. [Mazel tov Bex! ]
Cassi herself was just getting over bronchitis, and still had a cough and a rib misalignment from too much coughing.
Having been off filming for the last two months due to Elizabeth Corday-Romano being pregnant with what would be her last child, Cassi had decided it was the perfect time to interview the new people she had been planning to bring in from other places, including one hand-picked new Assistant Director who would fill in for Elizabeth, who had been put on bed rest. Romano remained an Assistant, though his time was divided between his pregnant wife, his stepdaughter, Ella, and his responsibilities as an Assistant. [And the Narnia Spoof is on Temporary hiatus as Elizabeth is playing the White Witch]
Lights would move from 3rd to 2nd Assistant Director, and the new one would act as the 3rd. As usual, Cassi had not mentioned the new Assistant's name and all the others could get out of her was that she had to negotiate for him and she had told Lightoller he had served as a British Army Captain in World War I but no amount of guessing or persuasiveness could get any other details out of Cassi.
Archie had only shrugged. He knew she would tell him when she got around to it.
[For those thinking oh, we know who that is. Patience…I could yet surprise you. I hate predictability.]
Now, seated at Cassi's desk, watching a movie, Archie took in the events in the movie. "Is this the new guy?"
"Who, Mr. Ash?"
"Who else?"
Cassi grinned and shook her head. "Nope, he's just a very interesting person I really thought was cool."
They were watching the 2nd Installment of what Cassi had told him was called The "Evil Dead" Trilogy. Archie had to admit that the man who seemed to have a lot in common with Ace Ventura was exactly the type of person Cassi would want to bring in. [Ash Williams- Bruce Campbell—this guy is too insane not to get]
"I have to admit." Archie commented, shaking his head. "I really like the chainsaw arm."
"Yeah I know." Cassi agreed, laughing. "I see lots of possibilities for him.
"Although." Archie remarked, pointedly. "I must say the eleven year old blond in pigtails is my personal favorite thus far. You don't get many girls that age that can beat the living crap out of someone like say Freddy Krueger." [Movie: Kick-Ass –Mindy Macready]
"Oh yeah."
"So where's the new Assistant?" Archie asked not giving up. "I know very well you're saving him for last."
Cassi grinned. "That transparent, am I?"
"To me you are." Archie reminded her with a smirk. Sitting back in his chair, he motioned to the computer screen. "Impress me, love."
An hour later, having seen the scenes from the movies Cassi had shown him, Archie blinked. "You want him?" He asked incredulously. "The porcupine in leather and chains?"
"No, not him!" Cassi corrected, giving him a brainduster. "I want the human half! That half can jump back into the music box!"
"Aren't they the same person?"
"No, totally different." Cassi replied. "Probably used to be a lot alike, but by now, maybe; maybe not. It's like Angel and Angelus, and we separated them so we can do it again. Even money says the demon side won't care about losing him. In fact, maybe he should be bribing us to keep him."
Archie shrugged. "Interesting concept." He admitted. "But then a lot of them end up benefiting more than we do. Look at Glory."
"Exactly, case in point." Cassi finished. "For the moment, I need only the ones on the first list." She went on, handing Archie two lists. The puppets I've wanted for some time; get the girl and her guardian in here; the Demonic Porcupine and while you're at it I want Blackheart. Kidnap him if you have to."
Archie added the last name to the top list. "And the others?" He questioned.
"We wait on the others." Cassi replied. "Chances are they'll be requested to be here anyway. May as well let the new guys think they got them here. Oh yeah and page Aslan. I need Him here too . . . before they get here so he can fix Blackheart." She paused, unsure of whether she was missing anything. "Oh yeah, we need a puzzle box."
"A what?"
"That freaky box you just saw on the computer screen." She explained. "Open box, get Demonic Porcupine in leather and chains come through your wall."
Archie raised an eyebrow. "Where do you find one of those puzzle boxes?"
Cassi shrugged. "Go ask Murdoc for one." She finally replied. "It's supposed to be a weapon and he conjures weapons. If he can't, we'll find another one. I happen to know where we can get one if we need to swipe one." [Xanth talents: Most of them have one, you'll see as we go.]
[Horror fans thank you for your patience on the opening scene, we are now putting the money on the screen...so to speak]
Once the Lion was closed into the back office, Archie had gone on about his duties. Anticipating the blonde girl's demands, he'd made sure the correct body had been brought to the Med Lab. Blackheart and the police officer the young girl was with had already been called in, as had the young blonde man with the trunk.
Down to his last task, Archie quietly carried a sack out toward the entry to finish his job. On his way out the main door, a hand clamped down on his shoulder. Kennedy jerked around to see Jack Simpson.
Sighing he took an involuntary step back. "Now's a really bad time." Archie managed to get out quietly.
He and Simpson didn't have as many confrontations as they used to since Cassi had put a stop to it, but there were times when Jack still couldn't resist causing some misery, thus prompting Archie to continue killing him on occasion.
"The Commodore is looking for you." Jack responded, in his usual calm yet dangerous tone.
"I'm busy." Archie replied, raising an eyebrow. "And unless you'd like to be my human sacrifice, when I call in the new Assistant, you may want to get as far away as you can. He'd certainly love you."
"Since when did you need a human sacrifice to call in an Assistant?"
Archie shrugged. "Since he's half demon and tears people apart for calling him." He answered. "Or so I'm told."
"And yet she's letting you of all people call on him?" Simpson asked, amused. "Putting her Pet in danger? That's a sudden change."
"He can't touch me." Archie responded, confidently. "Even if weapons worked on me, I can't be killed within the Complex and you know it."
[Assistants are not vulnerable to death or severe injury- and yes Archie is the Director's Pet]
Jack rolled his eyes, and walked off. "I'm not making excuses to the Commodore."
Archie chose not to reply to the last comment and continued to a small disserted room off the main entry. He knew very well that Cassi took importance over the Commodore unless he was on duty—and he wasn't.
Picking up his phone, he speed-dialed Cassi. "Ready."
"Aslan says go for it." She answered. "He won't show himself until I say so."
Archie grinned and hung up. "Now." He murmured, examining the cube-shaped (courtesy of Murdoc) puzzle box. "Does this come with written directions on how to open it?"
About fifteen minutes later, Archie was glaring at the box. "Now it's officially pissing me off." He muttered.
"Maybe you should have let Jack open it."
Archie looked up at Romano who now stood in the doorway, having been sent by Cassi to see what the holdup was.
"It didn't look that difficult on TV." Archie responded looking the thing over again.
"Well, it says in those movies as near as I can figure you need someone who would be the type to open it. Something like desire for pleasure or power or whatever the heck you wanna call it. We can take it to County and let Kerry open it!"
"I don't think she's that gullible, Rob."
"It could happen." He defended.
"Seriously, what do I do?"
Rob shrugged. "I don't know." He responded with a shrug. "Throw it on the floor and yell 'Open says' a me.' It may not open but hey, you'll feel better!"
Archie looked at the box in his hand and gave his own shrug. "I suppose it couldn't hurt." He admitted. "But if that doesn't work, I'm getting a bloody jackhammer!"
"I'll help." Romano replied.
Glaring at the box, Archie threw it as hard as he could in the direction of the far wall. The box hit the floor with a loud cracking noise, skidded hard into the far wall, bounced off it, losing a few splinters from the side, and finally flipped over before landing right-side up and opening . . . and upon first impact with the marble floor; Archie noticed his temper beginning to recede.
"See? That works." Romano exclaimed, clapping him on the shoulder. "Good old fashioned temper tantrum always makes things better."
Archie closed the door behind Romano and turned back to the wall where two new doorways were opening up.
He frowned watching two figures enter the room. He wasn't sure who they were, having not seen all the cenobites in the few clips Cassi had shown him. The third one to enter, Archie recognized to be the one Cassi was looking for.
"You opened the box." He stated, coldly. "We came."
Satisfied the stupid box had actually worked; Archie ignored the other two entirely and approached the leader. "I'm afraid your friends have to stay here." He informed the pin-faced demon. "They aren't on the invite list."
The demon frowned in confusion as Archie continued to stare him down.
Kennedy, noticing the look, gave a knowing grin. "And oh yeah we have someone blocking your mind reading so you're getting one big fuzzy spot, aren't you?"
Raising an eyebrow, the demon did not respond, nor did he display any emotion in his blank stare.
Archie looked to the silent cenobites. "Security is really tight here and they eat people, so depending on how far past the expiration date those chaps are; they either stay here or in the waiting room." He informed the pin faced one. "Although they do look far enough past expiration that the Raptor Squad may not want to eat them, but they'll likely still kill them."
Still silent, the demon leaned over and picked the box from the floor, eying a couple small cracks in the side and the wood shards on the floor. "Temper temper." He finally replied.
"Yeah well next time put some opening directions on the side or something." Archie retorted, snorting. "Had it not opened when I threw it across the room, I would have had to resort to a jackhammer and dynamite." [Oh yeah, that ought 'a get it open and yes we likely would—though more likely it would be C4 in a vomit basin]
"It needs no directions." The demon pointed out. "It opens for those who desire it to open." The creature's black eyes took on a more amused look. "So where is the one who told you to open it?"
Archie met his gaze with a sly grin. "In the office." He replied, motioning to the door. "And I'll bet you'd just love to meet her too, wouldn't you?" (We learned this look from Hannibal Lecter ;))
As if smelling a rat, the demon didn't move. "Bring her here." He growled, not blinking.
Archie gave a shrug. "Okay." He replied, pulling out his phone.
As soon as he turned his attention to the phone, hooked chains came out of nowhere.
Archie didn't even flinch. The chains stopped in midair an inch from wherever on his body they were aimed, much to the demon's surprise. From his phone, Archie looked back at him. "Did you want those back?" He asked, pointedly raising an eyebrow. "Everyone tries that at least once. My talent blocks anything it sees as a weapon so none of those knives will work either. It's a basic force field but effective nonetheless."
The chains vanished and the demon's jaw tightened.
From the side, the two cenobites both looked to their leader obviously confused.
Keeping his gaze on Archie and his attention fixed on what the young man was saying over the phone, he motioned them back through the gates where they remained waiting.
"Yeah I know, love, but really you know as well as I do we could do this anywhere." Archie told her over the phone. "Yeah well last I checked neither of us even owns that. He'd have to get in line and fight for them." He looked back over at the demon that was now finally showing some emotion, glaring at him. "He's getting very impatient, love, you'd best get in here. We'll figure out what to do with the other when he gives up the goods."
Watching the young man with the long reddish hair from across the room, Xipe Totec's eyes narrowed and he snarled. If they thought he was here to give them something they wanted, they were sadly mistaken. He was not giving anything away without a fight, regardless of whatever it was that was blocking his mind reading.
From the doorway a large alien in a metal mask entered. He dropped off a chair, nodded to the one with the long hair and left the room.
Weak pathetic humans.
After a moment, the female who had called for him was entering the room. "Make it quick, I miss my cushy chair already." She announced settling down in the chair that had just been placed there.
Xipe's jaw tightened again and he fought down the remark he was tempted to make. She may give off the airs of an authority figure, but it was obvious there was a lot more to her that she held back. This one was going to be an interesting study, he decided.
Eying her a moment, he tilted his head, unable despite his best efforts, to read her thoughts. "It is you who called me here." He corrected. "And you who seems to want something of me; therefore it is you who should be explaining yourself."
Archie shrugged. "He does have a point."
The woman considered this. "Well yeah but I still don't see why it couldn't be done in the office." She snorted, turning back to Xipe. "Your legs work just fine."
"You are avoiding the question." Xipe deadpanned, flatly, not taking to the way she was changing the subject.
"It's the ADD." She explained. "My focus on single topics isn't so good when I'm distracted, and I'm staring at those freaky guys behind you." She paused. "How do they see and talk anyway?"
Xipe, seeing the diversionary tactic again didn't respond and remained silent waiting for her to answer his original inquiry, his gaze not leaving her face.
"Do you still have that chatter-dog thing?" She asked, still staring at the two behind him. "He's really cute."
Glaring at her, he held his stare.
"Geeze, blink or something!" She finally ordered. "Do you have any idea how annoying that is?"
"As annoying as the fact that you are still avoiding the question?" Xipe inquired pointedly
"I'd say Plan A sucks, love." The male spoke up, casting a sideways glance at her.
"Bummer." She replied, not blinking. "Plan A was the fun one. Now we have to resort to the boring route. That's the problem with these people. Total absence of a sense of humor. Must totally suck to live with them."
"Yeah well if the other guy is this stuffy, I say forget him." Archie retorted. "I'm not getting stuck working with some undertaker."
"If this is all you have to say, we are finished talking." Xipe finally replied. "Of course you both owe me your souls now. Shall I collect those now?"
The two looked at each other. "Um….yeah." The woman responded finally meeting his gaze. "I'm afraid that's not a possibility."
"And why is that?" Xipe remarked, with only the clenched jaw revealing his anger.
"Well, you can't give away something you don't own." The woman told him with a pointed shrug. "We already gave those away to someone else and He paid a really high price for them so I don't think He's giving them up any time soon."
"You're welcome to fight Him for them though." The man added. "We'll stay back out of the way." [No I'm not referring to Aslan here for the record]
Xipe frowned; noticing something he didn't like seemed to be making its presence known more each passing moment.
The woman, watching his face like a hawk, didn't miss his unsettled glance around the room. "And I can see you're figuring out that who we have in this building blocking your telepathy is making himself more obvious on that side of the room. He's been in here the entire time of course."
Behind him, in the gateway, Xipe felt the two bound cenobites backing farther away into the labyrinth. Despite the presence, he himself was unable to back up. It was obvious they wanted something important to them from him and he still had no intentions of surrendering whatever it was for nothing. If it killed him, so be it. Meeting her gaze, he stood his ground.
[we have to establish who's boss, but no worries, Aslan has his own reason for agreeing and we WILL get our payback eventually...in spades :P]
"Okay okay." The woman finally remarked, holding up a hand, causing the presence in the room to settle back to the other side of the room. "Here's the deal. I want someone attached to you to work for me and we wanna know what you'll ask for in return if we were to take that someone off your hands."
Taken by surprise for once, Xipe stared at her. They wanted what? "If this is about some friend of yours that opened the box, I am not letting anyone go, not for any price."
"I'm Cassi; this is my Assistant, Archie Kennedy." The woman explained. "We are looking for him." She pulled a printed out picture from her pocket, holding it out to him.
Feeling the presence had backed off some more, Xipe moved forward to take the picture, recognizing the man featured. It wasn't the same picture he'd seen before as this one was in color but the face was unmistakable. This was certainly not the first time someone had handed him a picture of his human self, but never had anyone asked for him in this way. Did the fools really think he could just deliver Spenser to them and go off on his merry way?
"And how exactly is it you expect to accomplish this?" Xipe finally asked, returning the picture to the one she'd called Archie. If they even had a photo of Spenser, they knew very well he was one and the same person, more or less. They had already proved it was impossible without severe consequence to separate them. Xipe had spent several months in Leviathan's proverbial doghouse for the last separation incident when he'd tried to destroy the box.
"We'll handle the how." Cassi informed him pointedly. "All we want from you is how much you want for him. We can always return him later in perfectly working order."
"We're not responsible for mental damages though." Archie quietly murmured, looking innocently at the ceiling.
Xipe blinked. Now they were offering to buy or rent Spenser from him. They were completely out of their minds.
Cassi, already anticipating his logic, stood and held up two pictures. "Well, it's not as if we've never done this before. This is Angelus." She told him holding out one picture. "He's a vampire, no soul, and pretty evil."
Xipe gave a bored glance at it, and shrugged.
"This is Angel." Cassi went on holding a picture of one identical to the one she'd called Angelus.
It was obvious from the pictures that one was human and possessed a soul.
"They were the same person." Cassi told him. "Kind of like a split personality although they were both vampire; one had a soul, the other didn't. Angel and Angelus switched places depending on which one was working for us. Finally we ended up with work for them both at the same time and as a thank you for their skills; we separated them into two people, making Angel human."
"How do I know they are not just twins and one happens to be a vampire?"
"Glory." Archie cut in, holding up another picture.
Xipe frowned. This one was familiar. On closer examination, he recognized Glorificus.
Noting his reaction, Cassi held up the second picture. Glory's human side, Ben.
"You separated them too?"
"Yeah." Cassi answered. "We got rid of Ben, she got married to Imhotep several years ago and they had twins last year."
"Glorificus has children?" Xipe commented, clearly not believing a word of it. True, he knew what had pulled her from hell so many years ago and the fact that she had not returned had caused a lot of rumors, but none had even suggested she might have gotten married. The whole idea was preposterous. He'd personally assumed she'd been killed on her quest for 'the key' she was so obsessed with.
"Yeah." Cassi replied. "Very pretty kids they have. Good thing they look like their mom."
His face still absent of any emotion, Xipe returned the pictures. Truthfully, after he and Spenser had been sent back to hell together, he had found his human side that much easier to ignore. Spenser had not interfered in anything, nor was he particularly a burden. If these humans truly wanted him, they were going to have to do a lot better at their bargaining than this.
"He's not too impressed yet." Archie commented.
"That's how he normally looks." Cassi retorted flatly. "He's speechless and overjoyed. Really."
Archie shook his head. "No, he's bored out of his punctured skull." He corrected. "I know the symptoms and so should you. Are there any shiny spots behind you? Maybe he has ADD too."
"You are not convincing me to give up anything to you." Xipe finally interrupted.
"Well yeah but that's only because you don't know us very well." Cassi pointed out. "Of course if Captain Spenser does work for us, he'll also end up asking for his own demands, and being I want him as a very high ranking person here, pretty much anything he wants, he gets. So if you want to put some conditions on what you want from us, you'd best do that because the demands could be he'd want to kill you or something."
"Torture, maim, humiliate, etc." Archie went on.
Xipe frowned. "I am not willing to give him up yet." He insisted bluntly.
"Okay, tell you what." Cassi suggested. "I'll give you a pile of DVD's. You get a look at what we're doing here and the things we've given out including Xanth talents, weapons, as well as any people they know, whether dead or alive that they've asked to get here, we've granted nearly every request. Know anyone you'd like to see again? Drive stark raving insane? Or for that matter, anyone you want to see dead? Even if they're already dead, we can bring them back and you can kill them again."
Xipe paused, thinking. "Anyone?"
Cassi gave an evil grin. A spark of interest. "Anyone." She told him looking him in the eye. "Sometimes when things are frustrating, you just have to kill someone or act like an immature six year-old by throwing a tantrum. It keeps us all sane."
"Depending on your definition of 'sane,' of course." Archie finished.
"You decide if we're worth believing or working for or with, we separate the two of you, and then you specify what you approve concerning conditions regarding each other and we'll go from there." Cassi finished. "Is that fair enough?"
Xipe considered this and finally nodded. What did he have to lose in considering an arrangement? He was more powerful without Spenser anyway. He held out the box to Cassi. "Next time get someone who knows how to open it." He advised. "Before you break it."
Archie shrugged. "It opened, didn't it?"
"It kinda has to be able to close itself back up afterward, or they don't go away." Cassi informed him.
"And I had better be getting a sacrifice by the next time." Leaving the two of them to sort things out, Xipe returned to the safety of the labyrinth, sighing in relief as the presence in the building he had just left disappeared behind him.
"So, do you think that'll work?" Archie asked, eying her.
Cassi shrugged. "Possibly." She responded, thinking. "For a second there I almost thought he was ready to fall over laughing at us."
"Was that between the expressions of disgust, boredom and 'you're full of bullocks.'?"
"No, it was when I asked what we could give him for his human side and the idea of renting it." Cassi answered. "There was some amusement in there for a moment."
Archie shook his head. "I don't believe you even asked him to rent." He commented, laughing. "'Can we rent your soul for the day?'"
Cassi gave a sheepish grin. "Does that sound as desperate as I thought it did?"
After the laughing died down, Archie recovered his voice. "So what about this Elliot Spenser? Is he the side with the sense of humor too? Because this chap . . . not so much."
"Xipe has one." Cassi told him seriously. "It shows on occasion."
"He believes you have lost your minds." Aslan's voice cut in.
Cassi shrugged. "Well, of all the things I've ever lost, I miss that the most."
"What happens if it doesn't work and he won't do it?"
"Then we just take him and miss out on any fun having both of them would cause."
"That would really suck."
"Yeah it would." She agreed. "They're so much more fun when we don't have to restrain them or tie them up."
"I wouldn't worry about that." Aslan informed them.
Cassi gave a grin. "Does that mean we've hooked a big one and should reel it in?"
"As long as he stays out of Narnia with the other demons."
"Well yeah that's a given." Cassi replied. "No worries. That's why I made Spenser the Assistant. Though you'll have to have a long talk with Spenser when we get him away from Xipe. I actually thought about making Blackheart the Assistant, but I'd have to get another to stand in while we're in Narnia."
"Besides Tumnus?"
"We'll have Lizzie acting and Rob being a Daddy."
"Cas!" Romano's voice called over the PA. "You've got people in the waiting room! Hurry it up with the Demonic Porcupine already!"
"We're coming." Archie responded, hitting the button on the PA.
Cassi shook her head. "Bad enough all those people who call him Pinhead." She spoke up with a sigh. "Now he's stuck with Porcupine."
"Demonic Porcupine." Archie remarked, thoughtful. "Interesting concept. You don't want him to go by Pinhead then?"
"Pinhead is in the puppet trunk, Pet." Cassi informed him pointedly. "And that one's way cuter for the name and won't kill you for calling him that."
"Yeah, but try calling him ugly. . ." Archie trailed off, making a face.
[The last person to call Toulon's puppet, Pinhead "ugly" got whacked in the nuts with a meat mallet by Jester. The puppets are very sensitive and are not to be called ugly. –yes they are from the Puppet Master movies, particularly 3-5.
For confusion's sake, the cenobite most call Pinhead will go by Xipe Totec, Aztec for "The Flayed One" and the name he is mainly written under. Due to the fact that we have both he and Cpt. Spenser in the same place: one is human, the other is cenobite and there will be some VERY interesting arrangements made between the two, the likes of which the entire SpoofSet has never seen before, and I do mean interesting. O_O –covers the eyes of all children present-]
The NEW Characters being called in: First Group
Xipe Totec, Cpt. Elliot Spenser, Mindy Macready, Damon Macready, Marcus [Mindy's legal guardian], Rick Myers –The Puppet Master, Jester, Blade, Pinhead, Torch, Six-Shooter, Tunneler, Leach Woman, Andre Toulon in puppet form as Decapitron, and Blackheart (Ghostrider). And yes I do know that Damon Macready played by Nicholas Cage is going to be identical to Johnny Blaze but all in all, their personalities are so different I doubt Blackheart will be troubled by his presence esp. since they will be working together in the near future like say in this story. Hint hint.
Second Group [Joey will be arriving first in this group as per Elliot's request-also the Cenobite, Camerahead, will be separated into two people like Elliot and Xipe. Spenser's directions also included freeing Joey's friend and cameraman, Doc.]
Joey Summerskill, Various Cenobites, Chatter Beast, John Merchant, Bobbie Merchant, Kirsty Cotton (as if there was a question of the name that came to Xipe's mind when Cassi said 'Anyone'), Suzie Myers Mrs. Puppet Master, and Ashley "Ash" Williams.
Up next: Enter Blackheart...