AN (Lily): Hello all! Thank you for checking out my story! I had to get
some other things out of the way in my summery and didn't have enough space
for what this is all about. Its basically about all the main characters
from lotr being stuck on the island, and they have to learn to live with
each other. At first Domiel (my friend who basically wrote the story and I
helped and edited) and myself thought we could make this a lotr survivor
kind of thing, but once we started writing it, we thought of a better idea.
We have about six chapters written out on paper, so its just the matter of
typing them out, but before I post a second chapter, I would REALLY
appreciate it if you guys gave me some reviews, to see if there's any point
putting more up, so If you can do that, the next chapter will come right
up! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the lotr characters (I wish) and they belong to Professor JRR Tolkien. However it is quite possible, that we changed some of the characters so much, there not really themselves (ex, Frank and Gamling) ;). There may be some lines from the movie or other TV shows (ex The Simpsons). I must also warn you that Domiel and I have read other stories and subconsciously picked up amusing things, and we might have subconsciously inserted them into our story. If you see ANYTHING that is somewhat copying others stories, PLEASE tell me! I do not want to get in trouble for something I didn't mean to do. I would take it off immediately. I feel that this is very important. Thank you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And without further ado, our feature presentation!
The Lord of the Castaways- Intro (Chapter 1)
The teams are paddling across the water (the teams being the old farts against the youngin's). they are going to be on a game show *cough**cough* and aren't particularly happy about it. On the old farts raft, Sauron is looking bitterly at the sun cursing under his breath, Gollum is rocking back and forth, despite the angry shouts he gets from Lurtz. The ring refuses to paddle and the Anonymous V leader is plotting ways to tip the raft.
"Goddammit Gollum! You're going to tip the fecking raft! Opps...oh, I guess they can edit that. Oh, *beep* it. I'll *beep*ing swear, if I *beep*ing want to!" says Lurtz. "Hey! How come you beeped me that time?" "Because I felt like it!" snapped the author. "Whatever..."
"Ssssssssss! Sssssstupid Lurtzsssssss!" "My name is slurppey, goddmmit! SLURPPEY!" uh....slurppey yells to Gollum.
"Yo dudes, shut up," says Grima.
Back at the youngin's raft
"Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La La......POE!" Gamling sings to himself, and on "Poe", shouts it in Haldir's face.
Eomer shoves Gamling, knocking him into the water. "Shaddup ya crack head!"
"HELP! I'M DROWNDING!" "The water is five feet deep you idiot!"
While they're bickering, Frank is thinking to himself....
Why am I the only ring wraith on this raft? What's wrong with me? "It's because I'm purple, isn't it?" he says out loud by accident.
Everybody stops and stares at him.
"Yeah, it is. We're sorry," says Pippin, with no real sympathy at all, and goes back to flirting with Diamond.
Frank nods, taking it surprisingly well...then bursts into tears.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...please don't send me back to that horrible place! It smells!"
"No," says Rosie, "I say we suffocate you with a beach towel." Sam gives her an odd look.
Aragorn stops in mid-sentence. "Dude... Whoa!" "I think I smoked too much pipe weed last night!" Faramir says, wide-eyed and grinning.
They arrive at the shoreline, only to meet a talking tree. Pippin looks at it, looks back at diamond, then looks again (aka double take).
"It's a tree... It's a beard... it's Treebeard!" exclaims Merry, and Estella giggles.
The Ring...talking to itself:
{Bwahaha...I am an evil ring, I am invincible, and sometimes, invisible. Ha! I kill me...ha...What the hell?!}
"don't talk to it...don't encourage it...hell! Don't even look at it!" says Pippin.
Meanwhile, Aragorn smiles stupidly as Eowyn and Arwen stroke his 'manly' stubble, and giggle dreamily. Then Eowyn suddenly snaps out of Arwen's elvish spell.
"Goddammit pointy ears, he's mine!" Arwen looks at her for a while, then sighs. "You ruined the moment, ya daft pansy!" she suddenly bursts out.
Aragorn shakes his head, "my dreams of a threesome are gone..." He pouts in a corner and watches Gamling trying to swim while singing "Under the Sea."
Legolas stares at the man from Rohan in disbelief. "What's wrong with him?" Gimli shrugs, "meh!"
At that moment, Frodo does something unexpected.
"That's no the sea, you idiot!!!" he bursts out at Gamling. "Yeah! It's an ocean," adds Sam.
Frank puts his head in his hands, "the ocean is the same as the see!"
"Aww, shaddup Frank!"
"Actually, oceans are a lot different from seas. Not only are Oceans much bigger, but they contain many different kinds of animals and plants. But they do share one thing in common, they both are made up of salt water, which you can't drink." Diamond stated in a matter-of-fact voice. They all nod and congratulate her on her amount of brain capacity, wishing they could say the same for themselves.
Sauron looks at Diamond sourly, "shut up whatever-the-hell-your-name-is!"
"Hey...you...don't talk to..." Pippin trails off as Sauron menacingly walks up to him, making himself appear three times the size of Pippin (which he is). "You...are a small, small man." Pippin frowns, and opens his mouth in protest when Diamond reaches out and pulls him away.
"I'm not finished with you!" he yells. Gamling stifles a laugh, "he's so small!"
Then, something very random once again happens. Galadriel, who had been very quiet until now, jumps into Gandalf's lap, and throws her arms around his neck.
"I want a pony for Christmas!" She giggles uncontrollably and smoothers Gandalf with kisses. He didn't know what to think. "Where did that silly little elfie go? Where'd he go? Look at my perdy ring! It's sho perdy!!!"
She spots Celeborn watching jealously and growling under his breath.
Galadriel points at Celeborn and gasps, "dere he is!"
She jumps off a flabbergasted Gandalf's lap and leaps into Celeborn's arms. "Now that's more like it!" he says.
Gandalf is sitting, staring at the ground. "Okay 'den!" he says in a high pitched voice to himself.
"Somebody's been hogging the pipe weed..." Isildur gives Galadriel a dirty look.
"Why is everyone ignoring me?" Treebeard says slowly.
"Because your so damn slow!"
"Shaddup Frank! We don't need your input!" "Well tough clams, your gonna get it! "Hehehe...clams! Haldir looks at Gamling with a raised eyebrow and shakes his head.
This whole time, Saruman has been observing the scene, muttering to himself, "foolish mortals! I could be getting my nails done... but noooo! I had to be on a game show!"
"That's where you're wrong my friend! We have decided...." Treebeard dozes off for a moment.
"Yes...?" Merry asks.
"Hmmm? What? Oh, yes, we have decided that you are very amusing to watch, from a safe distance. So, we're going to keep you all here...and we're going to go "part(" with the entwives. See y'all later!"
"Holla!" shouts another ent. Treebeard looks at him strangely, "you just said 'holla'." "Ya...so?" Treebeard shakes his head.
"What about the game show?" asks Bilbo.
"Oh, that was just some cheap excuse to get you on the island!" Yells tree beard as he and the other ents run off as fast as they can (which, mind you, isn't very fast) and jump onto the waiting cruise boat. They could here Theoden's voice getting smaller, as he shrieked... "DAMN YOU, YOU Walking talking trees! I'll get y....."
There's a long pause of silence amongst the castaways.
"What are we going to do now?" Pippin inquired.
Arwen snorted in disgust, "you ruined the moment ya daft pansy!"
"You already said that..." "Shaddup Frank!" "I can't shut up...I'm the only ring wraith that talks!"
"Hey, I talk!" says the Witch King. "Ya, but you don't count." "Goddammit, I'm the leader of the V!" Yes well, what I meant was, you're to superior to count." "I'd have to agree with you on that one. Carry on." He goes back to brushing his horse, Bob Marley.
"Hey," says Frank, "how'd Bob Marley get here?" "No one cares how he got here, he's just here!" "Hey...you didn't say..." "Oh, yeah....SHADDUP!"
AN (Domiel): And that's the end of that chapter! (copyright of Homer Simpson) We're getting pretty tired, Lily's falling asleep. Party pooper *sings the party pooper song*.
Preview on next chapter: Legolas and Eowyn hit it off and take a walk (ooooohh). Haldir, Frank and Gamling play 'Imagination Circus' and the hobbits, Grima and the ring play poker. Frodo has another spaz and Sauron gets into Galadriel's stash (Oh, dear...).
Like I said before, REVIEW! (please)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the lotr characters (I wish) and they belong to Professor JRR Tolkien. However it is quite possible, that we changed some of the characters so much, there not really themselves (ex, Frank and Gamling) ;). There may be some lines from the movie or other TV shows (ex The Simpsons). I must also warn you that Domiel and I have read other stories and subconsciously picked up amusing things, and we might have subconsciously inserted them into our story. If you see ANYTHING that is somewhat copying others stories, PLEASE tell me! I do not want to get in trouble for something I didn't mean to do. I would take it off immediately. I feel that this is very important. Thank you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And without further ado, our feature presentation!
The Lord of the Castaways- Intro (Chapter 1)
The teams are paddling across the water (the teams being the old farts against the youngin's). they are going to be on a game show *cough**cough* and aren't particularly happy about it. On the old farts raft, Sauron is looking bitterly at the sun cursing under his breath, Gollum is rocking back and forth, despite the angry shouts he gets from Lurtz. The ring refuses to paddle and the Anonymous V leader is plotting ways to tip the raft.
"Goddammit Gollum! You're going to tip the fecking raft! Opps...oh, I guess they can edit that. Oh, *beep* it. I'll *beep*ing swear, if I *beep*ing want to!" says Lurtz. "Hey! How come you beeped me that time?" "Because I felt like it!" snapped the author. "Whatever..."
"Ssssssssss! Sssssstupid Lurtzsssssss!" "My name is slurppey, goddmmit! SLURPPEY!" uh....slurppey yells to Gollum.
"Yo dudes, shut up," says Grima.
Back at the youngin's raft
"Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La La......POE!" Gamling sings to himself, and on "Poe", shouts it in Haldir's face.
Eomer shoves Gamling, knocking him into the water. "Shaddup ya crack head!"
"HELP! I'M DROWNDING!" "The water is five feet deep you idiot!"
While they're bickering, Frank is thinking to himself....
Why am I the only ring wraith on this raft? What's wrong with me? "It's because I'm purple, isn't it?" he says out loud by accident.
Everybody stops and stares at him.
"Yeah, it is. We're sorry," says Pippin, with no real sympathy at all, and goes back to flirting with Diamond.
Frank nods, taking it surprisingly well...then bursts into tears.
"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...please don't send me back to that horrible place! It smells!"
"No," says Rosie, "I say we suffocate you with a beach towel." Sam gives her an odd look.
Aragorn stops in mid-sentence. "Dude... Whoa!" "I think I smoked too much pipe weed last night!" Faramir says, wide-eyed and grinning.
They arrive at the shoreline, only to meet a talking tree. Pippin looks at it, looks back at diamond, then looks again (aka double take).
"It's a tree... It's a beard... it's Treebeard!" exclaims Merry, and Estella giggles.
The Ring...talking to itself:
{Bwahaha...I am an evil ring, I am invincible, and sometimes, invisible. Ha! I kill me...ha...What the hell?!}
"don't talk to it...don't encourage it...hell! Don't even look at it!" says Pippin.
Meanwhile, Aragorn smiles stupidly as Eowyn and Arwen stroke his 'manly' stubble, and giggle dreamily. Then Eowyn suddenly snaps out of Arwen's elvish spell.
"Goddammit pointy ears, he's mine!" Arwen looks at her for a while, then sighs. "You ruined the moment, ya daft pansy!" she suddenly bursts out.
Aragorn shakes his head, "my dreams of a threesome are gone..." He pouts in a corner and watches Gamling trying to swim while singing "Under the Sea."
Legolas stares at the man from Rohan in disbelief. "What's wrong with him?" Gimli shrugs, "meh!"
At that moment, Frodo does something unexpected.
"That's no the sea, you idiot!!!" he bursts out at Gamling. "Yeah! It's an ocean," adds Sam.
Frank puts his head in his hands, "the ocean is the same as the see!"
"Aww, shaddup Frank!"
"Actually, oceans are a lot different from seas. Not only are Oceans much bigger, but they contain many different kinds of animals and plants. But they do share one thing in common, they both are made up of salt water, which you can't drink." Diamond stated in a matter-of-fact voice. They all nod and congratulate her on her amount of brain capacity, wishing they could say the same for themselves.
Sauron looks at Diamond sourly, "shut up whatever-the-hell-your-name-is!"
"Hey...you...don't talk to..." Pippin trails off as Sauron menacingly walks up to him, making himself appear three times the size of Pippin (which he is). "You...are a small, small man." Pippin frowns, and opens his mouth in protest when Diamond reaches out and pulls him away.
"I'm not finished with you!" he yells. Gamling stifles a laugh, "he's so small!"
Then, something very random once again happens. Galadriel, who had been very quiet until now, jumps into Gandalf's lap, and throws her arms around his neck.
"I want a pony for Christmas!" She giggles uncontrollably and smoothers Gandalf with kisses. He didn't know what to think. "Where did that silly little elfie go? Where'd he go? Look at my perdy ring! It's sho perdy!!!"
She spots Celeborn watching jealously and growling under his breath.
Galadriel points at Celeborn and gasps, "dere he is!"
She jumps off a flabbergasted Gandalf's lap and leaps into Celeborn's arms. "Now that's more like it!" he says.
Gandalf is sitting, staring at the ground. "Okay 'den!" he says in a high pitched voice to himself.
"Somebody's been hogging the pipe weed..." Isildur gives Galadriel a dirty look.
"Why is everyone ignoring me?" Treebeard says slowly.
"Because your so damn slow!"
"Shaddup Frank! We don't need your input!" "Well tough clams, your gonna get it! "Hehehe...clams! Haldir looks at Gamling with a raised eyebrow and shakes his head.
This whole time, Saruman has been observing the scene, muttering to himself, "foolish mortals! I could be getting my nails done... but noooo! I had to be on a game show!"
"That's where you're wrong my friend! We have decided...." Treebeard dozes off for a moment.
"Yes...?" Merry asks.
"Hmmm? What? Oh, yes, we have decided that you are very amusing to watch, from a safe distance. So, we're going to keep you all here...and we're going to go "part(" with the entwives. See y'all later!"
"Holla!" shouts another ent. Treebeard looks at him strangely, "you just said 'holla'." "Ya...so?" Treebeard shakes his head.
"What about the game show?" asks Bilbo.
"Oh, that was just some cheap excuse to get you on the island!" Yells tree beard as he and the other ents run off as fast as they can (which, mind you, isn't very fast) and jump onto the waiting cruise boat. They could here Theoden's voice getting smaller, as he shrieked... "DAMN YOU, YOU Walking talking trees! I'll get y....."
There's a long pause of silence amongst the castaways.
"What are we going to do now?" Pippin inquired.
Arwen snorted in disgust, "you ruined the moment ya daft pansy!"
"You already said that..." "Shaddup Frank!" "I can't shut up...I'm the only ring wraith that talks!"
"Hey, I talk!" says the Witch King. "Ya, but you don't count." "Goddammit, I'm the leader of the V!" Yes well, what I meant was, you're to superior to count." "I'd have to agree with you on that one. Carry on." He goes back to brushing his horse, Bob Marley.
"Hey," says Frank, "how'd Bob Marley get here?" "No one cares how he got here, he's just here!" "Hey...you didn't say..." "Oh, yeah....SHADDUP!"
AN (Domiel): And that's the end of that chapter! (copyright of Homer Simpson) We're getting pretty tired, Lily's falling asleep. Party pooper *sings the party pooper song*.
Preview on next chapter: Legolas and Eowyn hit it off and take a walk (ooooohh). Haldir, Frank and Gamling play 'Imagination Circus' and the hobbits, Grima and the ring play poker. Frodo has another spaz and Sauron gets into Galadriel's stash (Oh, dear...).
Like I said before, REVIEW! (please)