Disclaimer: I don't own the Ed, Edd n' Eddy, nor any of its' characters. If I did, I would be a very happy young man.
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"As the Cream Curdles"
Chapter 1
It was a fine spring day in Peach Creek, a small cul-de-sac where three young men lived. These three boys were always trying to find ways to "earn", or rather take, money from the other kids in the cul-de-sac. One of them, a rather short guy of around 14, was the self-proclaimed leader of the group, always bossing the other two into doing all the work in their scams, and today he had the best idea for one yet, or so he thought.
"Put that concession stand over there, Ed! I want my Ed's Incredible Amusement Park to be a success, and it won't be if the soda's misplaced!" Eddy said.
"No offense, Eddy, but aren't you taking this a bit seriously? I mean, it would be fine if the ring toss or the cotton candy stand was a little bit off, right?" Edd replied. He was the brainy one of the bunch, and had a rather peculiar obsession with sock-hats and cleanliness. Usually, he wouldn't dare leave one detail out of place, but he had been working for eight hours straight.
"NO! It has to be right! And where's Ed with the hose pipes for the water slide? We can't have a water slide without hose pipes!" the little megalomaniac replied. Ed was a tall boy, with incredible strength and an immunity to pain. Unfortunately, he wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, and was easily tricked into doing almost anything Eddy told him to.
"You sent him to buy them at the Roof-Mart, remember? He can't buy hose pipes without money, which we have none of!" Edd said. "We should probably go find him, before he starts eating their plastic forks again."
"UGH! FINE! But if this scam isn't done today, I'll rip that sock off your head, in the vicinity of the kids!" Eddy yelled.
"'Vicinity', Eddy? Apparently you've stopped staring at your Language teacher and taking her classes seriously," Edd replied, now walking in the direction of the lane.
"Yeah, only because she got promoted to 10th grade and was replaced by that old hag Mrs. Phlingapoo. And besides, she makes me pay attention, since my parents signed that paper that says she can whack me with the closest book to her," Eddy grumbled as he stomped alongside Edd.
"Yes, well, perhaps you'd be into five syllable words if you weren't calling your teachers names all the time," Edd snapped.
The two boys continued arguing until they rounded the corner into the lane, when Edd noticed a poster on the left fence. He walked up to it and began reading out loud:
"Help wanted at Yellow Yak dairy factory. Offering a part time job with pay up to forty-two dollars per week. Benefits include half-hour lunch brea-"
"FORTY-TWO DOLLARS? PER WEEK? Sockhead, if we got this job, we'd be rich! Think about it! Rooms, no, MANSIONS of jawbreakers! And if we all got jobs, we'd be three times richer! I can taste 'em now, Orange and Cherry, Blueberry and Ranch, maybe even Triple Choc-"
"Eddy, there's only one opening. And besides, it says you have to be 15," Edd replied, quickly destroying his short friend's moment of victory. Then just as he began to yell in anguish, like all characters with dramatic personalities do, he perked up.
"I just remembered! Ed's 15th birthday was just last week! How could I forget with that gravy ice cream cake…. Anyway, Lumpy can get the job! C'mon, we gotta go tell him!" And with that, Eddy was halfway down the lane, laughing like a maniac, and leaving Edd running along in his little manner.
Once they had gotten to the Roof-Mart, it was half past five. Eddy shot down the nearest aisle in an attempt to find Ed, once again leaving Edd behind. Edd decided to start in the produce section, though he knew there was little chance of finding him there. To his surprise, however, he found him putting on a show there-one that no one was watching. He was juggling nearly eight jalapenos, and had shoots of celery sticking out of his ears and nostrils.
"Look Double-D, I'm a celery monster from the famous comic book, "It Came From Beyond the Cookie Aisle and Juggled Peppers"!" the not-so-bright Ed said.
"Ed, please dispose of those vegetables and follow me!" Edd replied in disgust.
They waited at the front door for nearly an hour, until Eddy came charging out of Aisle 27 with a woman slinging her bread at him. After this ten minute diversion, Eddy walked over to the two other Eds, covered in bruises and bread crumbs. He and Edd explained to Ed about the job. Ed was reluctant at first, but after learning about the free cheese, he couldn't help but agree to apply.
Edd and Eddy waited in Ed's basement room for the announcement of his success or failure. Edd had a hard time finding anywhere to sit, because Ed's room was absolutely filthy. Ed soon came running downstairs, and, after slamming into the door repeatedly, told his friends that he got the job and his mother approved of it (but only because tomorrow was the first day of summer vacation), and that he would start tomorrow as cheese inspector at the Roof-Mart.
Hope you liked the first chapter! I know I left it off at a cliffhanger and that it's only two pages, but I'm still satisfied. Also, if anyone wants to review, tell me if you want me to change Edd to Double-D. I use Edd for simplicity, and I want to know if it bothers anyone.