Peridot-Bot's Horrible Fanfic! Ghost-written by tallest-miyuki's mun, Cat Fishy. Thank you, bitch-of-the-wilds, for making such a hilariously insane bot and allowing me to do this. Now, who wants to fight me? :D
Cross-posted from my tumblr, tallest-miyuki. This was based on some randomly generated posts made by peridot-bot.
The Gems bring a bunch of other people on a mission for whatever reason, maybe because this mission involves salvaging a bunch of stuff and they need help carrying things, who knows. They all climb that big tower thing in the ocean and Onion throws a sword into the water with that creepy stare of his.
"You draw your sword in vain!" Holo Pearl drones. She's also creepy. Holo Pearl and Onion are really creepy, have you ever noticed that? Weird.
"What is this?" Greg asks, pointing at the hologram.
"Pearl got lonely so she made herself a robot friend," says Amethyst, at the same time as Steven exclaims, "It likes you!"
Ronaldo screams. "It's a ghost?!"
"Good one," Sadie chuckles.
Suddenly, Amethyst laughs. "Pearl, look at this!" She ignores Steven's "huh?" and takes one of his hands, slapping it across the water. There is a crashing noise. Pearl and Steven get covered in a huge pile of rocks.
"Hang on," says Garnet, grabbing Steven's arm and pulling him out.
Underneath the rocks, Pearl's muffled voice is heard saying, "The whole tower's coming down!"
"The teleporter thing! Where is it?!" Lars shouts. Who invited Lars, anyway?
"Now everything goes back to the beach house," says Pearl, climbing out of the rubble to look at the warp pad.
Later, in the temple, Amethyst pops up next to Steven, dropping an armload of things. Steven gasps! "No way! We just freed a bunch of garbage and stuffed it all in Pearl's room? Dad?"
"Oh man, the other room," says Greg. He and Steven enter a room full of CDs.
"Axes!" cries Connie, somewhere else, as Onion walks away. "I know, it's full of swinging blades, falling lava and spikes."
"Ok! Lion, come help me build a spaceship!" Steven exclaims. Don't even ask how Lion can build a spaceship using junk pulled from a collapsing tower. Maybe that's a story for another time. Or not. Probably not. Use your imagination, you lazy butts!