They wheeled in the gadget, bursting through the double doors with urgency. Jotaro shudders, it was far too cold in here for his taste.

"Are you ready for this sir?" A man in a lab-coat grasps the shrink ray, powering it on as Jotaro places a foot in a container on the floor, so they could contain him before transporting him to Whoville.

"Ready as I'll ever be. I just can't believe the old man actually jerked off on a fucking flower..." Jotaro rolls his neck, readying himself for the blast. "Good grief... Fire away..." The man in the lab-coat fired the blaster and Jotaro felt a tingling sensation run through his body before he shrunk down, to the size of a child, then the size of an infant, then an apple, an ant, a speck of dust, then gone, too small for the naked eye.

The scientists sigh as they slowly tilt the container over the speck hoping Jotaro would tumble out and down. "What happens if we miss?" One asks as they perform the procedure. "Then... The world is doomed..." The lead scientist, the one who fired the gadget, responds as the finish. "It's all in the hands of the Joestars now..."

I sat idly around, flipping through the channels. There was no point, it was all boring, monotonous, and overall lame, just like life is. Ding Dong! I wait, somebody else can answer that shit around here. Ding Dong! Again? "Will somebody get the fuckin' door!?" I shout, flipping through the channels in a somewhat angry manner.

Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Ding Dong! Ding Dong! DING DONG! "For fucks sake! 102 of us and nobody can get the door!?" I snarl and hop to my feet and head over to the door, swinGing it open in a huff. "I don't want your fucking Who-scout Cookies!" I attempt to slam it shut but a hand stops me.

"Good grief, they don't have manners in Whoville now do they?" I turn towards whoever slammed the door shut. He snarls at me and yanks the door open taking a step inside. "Since you guys clearly don't have manners around here I hope you won't mind if I invite myself in."

"Yeah, and what exactly are you? No, really you don't look like a who so you must be a what," I tilt my head, puzzled by the six who-foot* creature standing in my entry-hall.

(*Because Whoville doesn't know of outside measuring systems, they've created their own, it just so happens to be exactly the same as the US standard system.)

"Jotaro, Jotaro Kuujo. Your nephew," The hulking beast took another step in, removing his shoes and tossing them aside. This guy was my nephew? Dude is almost twice my size, literally! "I think we have a lot to talk about. Where can we sit and talk?" I lead him to the room I was in just moments ago and shut off the TV.

"So, Jotaro... I have quite a few questions and I damn-well expect answers. Preferably without an exposition." I look the man over again, he wore a white leather jacket and a white captain's-style hat that seemed to meld into his jet-black hair.

"Sorry kid, they come in pairs. You want one, you get the other, now keep your trap shut so I can explain everything," Jotaro takes in a deep breath and begins his explanation. "My grandpa and your Dad, Joseph Joestar, has a few bizarre kinks, one of those happens to be jerking off onto flowers. Something about shooting sperm onto plant sperm turns him on I guess. But anyways, he decided one day to climb Mt. Nool and jerk off onto the clover there-"

"So that's what the white flood I heard so much about was. This Joseph guy literally came on our world!" Jotaro scowls as I interrupt him before continuing on with his story.

"Yes, and as it so happens your mom was the only Who to be impregnated by the stuff. Which means you're a Joestar, and as such, you have something called a Stand, a physical manifestation of your fighting spirit." This guy is crazy, why the hell should I believe anything he says? Other than the fact that I'm super gullible and the idea of having powers is extremely appealing.

"A Joestar... So I'm Jojo Joestar? Jojojo? That's fucking stupid..." I trail off, picking up the remote and turning on the TV.

"Good grief..." Is all that leaves Jotaro's mouth before an even bigger creature leaves his body destroying my TV with a series of punches. It was around eight who-feet and had long spiky hair that shimmered in the light of the living room.

"Hey what the hell man! I was watching Friends!" I groan, eyeing the weird monster thing with a bit of contempt. "What the hell is that thing exactly?"

"I already told you, it's called a Stand," The hulking six who-foot man rolled his eyes and cracked his knuckles. "And you have one too."

"I do? How come I haven't known about this?" I inquire. If I've had this stand thing my whole life then why haven't I been able to use it.

"Well it could be because you're a huge dumb-ass," Jotaro remarks passively as he reaches for my soda. My soda. My arm snaps out and I grip my nephew's hand.

"Hands off."

"What're you going to do about it?" He sneers and snatches my can anyway and takes a big long gulp of my pop. My pop. Touching my food is one thing, but taking it... That's unforgivable! I growl and in front of me a massive wire-frame elephant materialized. Its my stand, how I figured that out I have no clue. What I did know was that I was going to use it to kill the bastard who took my shit. "How about I squash you into a Jotaro Pancake?"

"There's your Stand," Jotaro chuckles silently and tosses me back my can of soda. It's just as I left it, nearly full. It's as if he hasn't even taken a sip, let alone that massive gulp. "You're welcome."

"Tch, dickhead," I scoff and gulp down my Mountain Dew, nectar of the gods. Only a true gamer drinks Mountain Dew, and they drink it with Doritos."What's it called?"

"Up to you," The man said as he stood up. "I'd best be going, I was only stopping by to tell you about your real dad and stand. Do your parents a favor and don't tell them what I told you. It might fuck up their relationship, and your relationship with them. Also be on the lookout for anything suspicious. Stand users tend to attract Stand users, and not all of them are nice."

I nod and Jotaro heads toward the door. "Great Phant," Jotaro turns towards me, with a hm? "That's what I'm calling my Stand, it's Great Phant." The behemoth of a man nods and exits my house, presumably to leave the speck. however that's possible. Either way, our TV is busted and we need a new one or I'm getting my ass kicked.