Heyyyy!

So this is basically the first chapter in a series of vaguely connected scenes. All chapters go in chronological order. I wrote a bunch of scenes and now I've decided to go back and connect them together. I'm sorry if some of the chapters seem to be "filler" chapters, just stick with it, I promise it will get better. Think of this more as a soap opera version of Lucifer, a series of dramatic scenes.

Writing a prose version of Lucifer turned out to be harder than I thought. So much of what makes the characters who they are, are their facial expressions and that's hard to translate into words, but I've done my best!

Finally, don't be scared off by the preface. I wanted to set the scene a little. I think a main theme of the Lucifer Tv show is identity and a lot of what Lucifer does, how he acts and what he struggles with comes from his existential crisis that he mentions in the pilot episode.

I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT THE PLOT OF THIS PIECE OF FICTION. ALL RIGHTS AND CHARACTERS GO TO THE LUCIFER TV SHOW AND AFFILIATED GROUPS.

Preface
When you've lived through eternity, how do you know which identity is truly yours and yours alone? Do you simply pick your favourite "self"? Do you build upon all the versions of you that have gone before? Do you become one of the many beings you have observed? Most importantly, does it even matter – who you truly are and who you want to be? Identity moves along a continuum but sometimes you find something worth being someone for. Sometimes you find someone who makes you want to find yourself – an identity which is truly yours and yours alone. An identity which you want to be and feel that you can be, despite your past, your history, your reputation… Sometimes that takes space. In the darkness between here and there, in the space between who you were and who you want to become, lies infinite nothingness. But know that one day, you will come back to being – you will be happy enough with yourself, that you will allow happiness back into your life. Trust that finding yourself will take space and time and that it will be worth it.

Chloe opened the door, hoping it was Lucifer and then instantly admonishing herself for it. Instead, she was face to face with the last person she ever expected to be at her door and quite honestly the last person she wanted to be at her door.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? NO, HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND MY ADDRESS?"

"Well, Amenadiel told me," Charlotte stated as if it were obvious.

"Oh, of course you know Lucifer and Amedadiel, god!" Chloe rubbed her hand over her forehead, gritting her teeth.

"Well I should hope so, I mean I am… well that's what I am here to talk to you about. Are you going to let me in?"

"Hell no," Chloe responded with vigour.

"Fine, we can just talk like this then."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?" Maze yelled.

"Good question," Chloe agreed, pursing her lips together as she glared at Charlotte Richards, the woman who had undoubtedly tried to ruin Lucifer's life and her own at the court hearing.

But Maze was on a roll, "You try to blow Chloe up, you manipulate Lucifer and Chloe together knowing it would break his heart. Get out before I start using my knives."

"Calm down Mazikeen," Charlotte chastised. "I've come here to see Lucifer's detective with peaceful intentions."

Maze growled as Chloe threw up her hands in frustration.

"You know her too? Unbelievable!"

Lucifer had been gone for just over a month. Chloe had spent the first few weeks panicking and searching for him. But Maze had assured her that Lucifer would be fine, that he would have left on his own accord and that he wouldn't want to be found. Chloe had spent the next few weeks in a precarious state, somewhere between hurt and rage. She was now finding that she was in a state of apathy toward Lucifer and had been quite content being that way until Charlotte had knocked on her door.

Maze's words processed in Chloe's besieged mind.

"You tried to blow me up…" she repeated slowly.

Charlotte huffed and put her hands on her hips.

"Yes well, it was a mistake on my behalf. Trust me when I say Lucifer would go to hell and back to protect you."

Chloe just blinked. She felt as though she had just stepped into another place, a place where the language was completely different and she could not make sense of a single phrase.

"You need to go," Chloe ground out. Charlotte looked affronted.

"I don't know what he sees in you," Charlotte muttered to herself. "Look let me put this in a way that a human can understand. I know Lucifer, I hurt him and I need your help to find him."

Chloe shook her head in disbelief. "And Lucifer always insisted you were not one of his exes."

"Dear child, I AM NOT LUCIFER'S EX. I'M HIS…"

"That's enough!" Maze said forcefully.

"Lucifer will come back in his own time," Maze continued. "Now leave and don't come back."

Charlotte tossed her head back.

"Fine, but don't think for a second that I'll stop searching for him Mazikeen and when I do, I certainly won't be telling either of you."

"Good!" Maze retorted. "We don't want to know when he's back."

Charlotte cocked her head. "He's lost, not in a place but in space and time. I drove him away yes but all I did was speed up the inevitable. He doesn't belong here yet he insists on trying to fit here. Well now he needs to choose between his family and humanity. If he knew what was good for him he would go home and confront his father but I fear he will pick her," Charlotte spat out the last part, throwing a finger at Chloe. She didn't wait for a response or a reaction, instead she turned on her heel and stalked away.

Chloe closed the door, letting out a huge breath. Maze was about to say something but Chloe raised a hand.

"I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to know. I don't care anymore Maze. Please leave it."

Maze watched as Chloe gathered up her keys and laptop. She watched as Chloe composed herself and walked out the door. At work no one would know that she was hurting. Maze just watched her go because she knew that Chloe needed her existing reality more than the truth right now.