By: Neko-chan
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. If I did, I'd be rich!! *kawaii grin* And I don't own the poem "The Raven". Edgar Allan Poe does. And he's dead. So.....I own nothing! *giggles* Anyways, this ficcie is a parody......of, you guessed it, The Raven! *grins* The poem is basically the same.......I just changed some things, is all. Warning: Relena bashing!! (Ya gotta look, k?) Oh, and has anyone ever seen that episode of The Simpsons? The one where they do The Raven, with Bart as the raven? Well......think of that. (Give you one guess who's the raven in this ficcie......*snickers*)
PS-Last part doesn't rhyme. *shrugs* Oh, well. This was supposed to be funny, anyways. (Note: SUPPOSED to. ^_^;;)
Once upon a daylight dreary, while I pondered, silent and dreary,
Over a quaint and curious computer files of forgotten lore--
While I nodded, nearly snoring, suddenly there came a knocking,
As of some one loudly slapping, slapping at my safe house door.
"'Tis some enemy," I grumbled, "slapping at my safe house door--
Only this and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the heat of August;
And each separate dying air conditioner wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the night;--vainly I had sought to borrow
From my files surcease of missions----glee for the lost
Relena----
For the scary and stalking freak whom the demons name
Relena----
Nameless here for evermore.
And the glistening, glittering, shining glow of my own Wing Zero
Thrilled me----filled me with fantastic thoughts of missions never done before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
"'Tis some enemy wanting entrance at my safe house door----
Some stupid enemy wanting entrance at my safe house door;---
Indeed it is (Neko-chan: Awwww!!! Ken-chan!!) and nothing more."
Presently my voice grew harder; hesitating then no longer,
"Oz," said I, "or White Fang, truly your life you want no more;
But the fact is that I was snoring, and so loudly you came slapping,
And so loudly you came knocking, knocking at my safe house door,
That I was sure I heard you"--here I opened wide the door;---
Darkness there and nothing more. (Neko-chan: Oh, yeah? That's what you think, buddy.)
Deep into that darkness staring, long I stood there
brooding, glaring,
Grumbling, thinking things no pacifist ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no hinting,
And the only word there spoke was the hissed word,
"Relena....."
This I growled, and an annoying echo snarled back the curse,
"Relena....."
Merely this and something more.
Back into the safe house turning, all my soul within me hating,
Soon again I heard a knocking somewhat louder than before. (Neko-chan: Eh? How's that?!)
"Damn it," said I, "there can be nothing at my window sill;
Let me see, just in case, and this person will be no more;---
I hope it's not the wind, but something more!"
Open here I flung the curtains, when with many a flirt (Neko-chan: ^_~) and scowl,
In there stepped a cute Raven of the wishful days of yore.
Not the least obedient was he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with a loud stomach's growl, stepped right through the kitchen door--
Went through my fridge just inside my kitchen door--
Went through, and ate, and nothing more.
Then this ebony clothed Raven (Neko-chan: Eh? Bird....but Du--*is cut off by the producers*)
Made my glaring fancy into grinning,
By the dark and deadly decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though your clothes are dark and brooding, you," I said, "are
sure no ordinary bird, (Neko-chan: *face faut* I need to get Heero some glasses....)
Ghostly gallant and young in age Raven wandering from the Shinigami shore--
Tell me what your response is on the Nightmare's Obsidian shore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Hey, Hee-chan!"
Much I glared this annoying fowl to hear such nicknames so plainly spoken,
Though its answer little meaning----little affection do I bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living enemy
Has ever yet was cursed with seeing bird (Neko-chan: I still dun get it.....*scratches head*) in his kitchen door--
Bird or beast in the fridge in his kitchen door,
With such response as "Hey, Hee-chan!"
But the Raven, sitting stuffing his face in the kitchen door, spoke only those two words,
as if his mouth was too full to make more outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered----not a braid then he fluttered----
Till I scarcely more than growled, "Other enemies have died before--
On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have hoped before."
Then the bird said "Got any more food?"
Annoyed at the stillness (Neko-chan: Stillness?? When Duo eats? HA!) broken by a question so aptly requested,
"Oh, no," said I, "will he never leave me? Eating more my own stock and store
Eating until he is gorged or until some unlucky Disaster
Eating faster and faster till I have nothing left
Till he dirges the last of my Hope with one question asked
Of 'Hey, Hee-chan! Got any more food?'"
But the Raven still beguiling all my annoyance into glaring,
Straight I shoved some food in front of the bird, and table, and door;
Then, upon the pile shrinking, I thought of myself kicking
Kicking this ungainly, annoying, cute, slim, and (un)priestly
Out of my safe house door.
This I sat in fantasizing, but no action doing,
To the fowl (Neko-chan: I still dun get it!! .) whose violet eyes now burned into my fridge's door;
This and more I sat imagining, with my back leaning
Leaning against the hard wooden door.
Then, I thought, the air grew closer, filled with a sound
from an certain stomach. (Neko-chan: Wonder whose? *snickers*)
"Baka!" I cried. "You're eating me out of house and home!!
I have no more food, you are done!
Why must you torture me like that scary, scary
Relena?!"
Quote the Raven, "Hey, Hee-chan! Got any more food?"
"Braided baka!" said I, "thing of annoyance!
Why must you eat me out of house and home?!
Constantly you annoy me, why can't you bug someone else?
Quatre will do! Trowa even! Or even yet, Wufei!
Why must you eat at my house, you bottomless pit?"
Quoth the Raven, "Hey, Hee-chan! Got any more food?"
"Baka!" said I, "thing of unquenchable hunger!
Why must you always eat?
Eating, eating, eating!! Eating me out of house and home!
Tell me this, if you can:
Has Relena died, and if so: Bloodily?"
Quoth the Raven, "Hey, Hee-chan! Got any more food?"
"Be those words a sign of hunger, go home;
go back to Nightmare's Obsidian shore!
Leave no crumb, or can, or candy wrapper
to show that you were here!"
Quoth the Raven, "Hey, Hee-chan! Got any more food?"
And the Raven, never moving, still is eating, still is eating
On the shiny, shimmering table in my kitchen door;
And his eyes are ever hungering,
And the flourescent lights are shadowing,
Shadowing him in my kitchen door.
And that question still is repeating, still is repeating,
as I lie curled here on my kitchen floor.
"Hey, Hee-chan!! Got any more food?"
A/N: Okie.........this was just plain weird. *blinks rapidly* It's just that I saw the Simpsons episode for this poem.....and then I thought about how funny it would be if they did it for Gundam Wing......and Heero and Duo.....and......*shrug* Whatever. Hate it or like it, I don't care. Ja ne!