Makes you stupid Makes you forget

by Jayded524

The impossible has happened and Derek has died. To say that Stiles isn't handling it very well is an understatement. He falls into a bottle, or several, then into a hospital. Short one shot. Mentions of other awesome Teen Wolf characters. Sterek.

You see grief makes you do stupid things. Makes you forget.

When you've been with someone for long enough they become all you know

And when they're taken away from you at first it's just a shock to the system.

You roll over for a sleepy morning kiss and find a mostly empty bottle of bourbon.

You've slept in your clothes again. You kiss the bottle anyways tipping it up. Waste not, and all that.

There isn't any food in the house. You don't bother with it anymore. Makes your stomach roll and ribs ache.

Now you find yourself at the shops, you can't remember how you got there.

You're standing in isle four holding a packet - his favourite. You've always hated these.

But wait. He's gone. He's never coming back. He left you all alone.

You and Dad don't even speak anymore. Too many lies. Mum died a long time ago, she left you too.

And now… Derek.

Nobody wants you, Stiles. 'Cause if they did they would have stuck around.

It's only now you realise you're screaming like someone's stabbed your puppy - or Scott.

Everyone always thought you were a little off. You're fidgety, always in motion.

And they're all trying to calm you to make you stop. Not too close now, it might be catching.

What is it? What's wrong? Are you hurt?

You can't answer them you're drowning. You're burned to ash – teeth, and skin, and bones, - floating away. You can't. You can't.

One says to call an ambulance. Screw the ambulance, call the cops, says take you away.

Howling in your head they leave you for the wolves. The buzz of LED lights above the bunk flicker. A soothing hum that lulls you to sleep.

The orderly slips in and out every now and then. You don't even notice anymore 'cause of the pills.

You slip into the purple haze grateful for the respite and dream of tiny blue flowers.

They're strangling you, stuffing themselves down your throat, vines twisting. Wrapping around your spinal column and snapping it in half.

Their thorns tear holes in your organs like claws shredding you from the inside out. Just like old times.

You roll over the next morning and it begins all over again.

Just for a moment or two you think everything will be alright. Dad's safe at work and Derek's training he pack in the yard.

Now you see how grief makes you stupid. Makes you forget.