Shikamaru hated sand. He hated Tsunade for putting him on this stupid diplomatic mission. He hated long boring dinners like the one he was currently attending. He hated the feudal lord that was drawing him into a conversation. He hated having to actually look like he cared what the idiot was saying. He hated the fact that there was so much damn peace around that he couldn't get a mission that entailed him getting the crap beat out of him. He hated everything.
But most of all, he hated Baki.
Baki had weaseled his way into switching seats with Kankuro, and had cornered Tenten into a conversation that was starting to make Shikamaru's blood boil. Baki was leaning so far forward in his seat it was making Tenten back up defensively. She had remained tactfully suave to his innuendos and inappropriate remarks at first. Then, when that didn't stop his oncoming advances, she mentioned the fact in an oh-so-careful voice that she was fully armed despite the supposed security measures on the guests. This only seemed to provoke his interest further, and he continued to look on Tenten with lecherous eyes and said something that Shikamaru thought sounded exactly like, "what a turn on." Literally backing into a wall as she could not move her chair any further, she desperately drew her gaze at Shikamaru for help. Her eyes were pleading a very strong, "help me!" and Shikamaru for all his genius could not think of anything to help the konoichi further down the table except doing things that would only result in very messy paperwork and possibly the fifth shinobi war.
At least the bloodshed would be a nice change of pace.
Gaara though, bless that man's soul, had called on Baki for whatever commanding reason, and the konoichi visibly sighed with relief.
That was a close one. He knew it would only get worse. Tenten had neglected to state something to throw him off like she had a boyfriend. Any attempts at giving a real name might actually cause the insane shinobi to man-hunt them, he supposed. Tenten was not so low as to make up a fake name. Kame knew that might only encourage the man into trying to get her to be less than faithful to the made up guy with Baki.
Instead, she had spent the beginning part of the evening humoring the lout, as to not upset anyone. Perhaps she thought that he would eventually move on if she just kept looking disinterested. But Baki had considerately perked up when she said she had not clan affiliation or surname. Shikamaru noted that she gulped loudly and things progressively went downhill from there.
To Shikamaru's relief, Kankuro took back his spot.
To Shikamaru's raging temper, Kankuro was also trying to hit on the leaf konoichi.
Honestly he couldn't blame the man. She looked quite lovely in her soft pink kimono with her chestnut locks neatly pined half up. The tendril curls running down her back were quite impressive in length. The figure squeezed into said pink kimono was long and curvy. He had been sampling that eye candy all the way over from Konoha. At least the flirting with her had been reciprocated back. Well, he hoped that she just wasn't trying to humor him.
Shikamaru scowled. She was humoring Kankuro, and she seemed to almost enjoy herself with Kankuro's lame joke. That was until she clumsily dropped her napkin and flashed Shikamaru a panicked look under the table that said something along the lines of, "dear Kame is this ever going to end!" or possibly a "what the fuck!" maybe it was a simple "kill me now." It was hard to say, but she looked quite the frustrated weapon's mistress as she retrieved her napkin off the floor. She plastered on a fake smile, one that said that his company was preferable only to Baki's, and slowly began to put objects from the table surreptitiously in front of her as if to make a small barrier between the two.
Shikamaru almost laughed out loud. Kankuro was boring her to tears.
When the evening ended and they were all dismissed, Tenten and Shikamaru headed down to their guest quarters with relief.
"Please let me stay in your room tonight," Tenten begged the shadow user as she followed him to his door.
"Not a fan of diplomacy, I see?" Shikamaru couldn't help but tease.
"That man is going to have me dragged back here as soon as he negotiates contracts with Tsunade and Gaara!" She hissed with terror. "He may not buy a boyfriend back home, but he might be deterred if he sees I'm with another man right now." She said sheepishly, hoping he would take the bait.
"You can come in and hide from our political hosts," Shikamaru drawled slowly in a monotone voice as he unlocked the door.
"I knew I liked you for a reason!" she cried. Shikamaru smiled at her and made his way inside.
He took off the formal jacket and hung it over the back of his desk chair.
"What's the plan?" He asked the girl now sitting on his bed biting her lower lip. "I suppose that would be a good idea," he crossed the room to tuck a finger underneath her chin to raise her head to meet his eyes. "Bite your lips to make it look like we have been making out."
He could see the wheels turn slowly in her head, as she figured it out.
"Baki would see right through that," she sighed.
"There is no substitute for the real thing, even if we did start making out in a last ditch effort when he came to the door, he would spot that cliché tactic a mile away." Shikamaru prayed that she would come to the same conclusion that he had. Okay, so it was a dirty ploy to get to make out with her and he knew it, but it was better than the alternative, or at least that was what he was telling himself.
"Then there would be no fooling Kankuro either if he came by," she reasoned out, "he would be able to tell that we had just started when we felt his chakra signature as well."
Shikamaru fell back on the bed with his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.
It was probably too much to ask for that she come to the naughty conclusion that he had, and she would most likely just end up leaving, barricading her door after booby trapping it and waiting it out until morning.
So when a hand touched his thigh in a very inappropriate manner, his eyes shot open almost with alarm.
"We have to make it look real," she climbed on top of him and began to unbutton his shirt.
"So what? Start now and what? Finish in a few hours after we get tired?" Shikamaru asked as she began to nibble slowly at his ear and neck.
"Got any objections," she whispered breathily in his ear. She had starting moving her body over him and kissing him so very sensually that his brain was beginning to loose blood. It was traveling to other more southern regions.
While he still had some of his wits about him, he sat up, "I am all for helping you out, Tenten, but I won't have you rile me up just to leave me hanging."
"Who said I was a tease?" she removed the rest of his shirt and looked on with approval at his well toned chest and abs. His mind reeled when she finished her sentence and she pulled him into a long lustful kiss. It left no doubt in his mind that she was more than willing to finish the job.
He had responded back with a fist full of hair and helped himself to caress the creamy skin of her thighs as he hiked up her kimono so she could straddle him. He fumbled with the infernally constricting garment until she striped it off her body in a rush and left him staring at her half naked form as she unlatched the buckle on his pants. It was a turn on to see so many weapons strapped to the near naked konoichi. He had half a mind to leave a few on, but in the end thought it would only potentially harm one of them in the long run. He took his time removing each holster and blade, down the last shuriken, tanto and kunai, leaving her in only a black lacy bra and matching panties.
Honestly, what was the rush? Shikamaru was not about to ruin his one good chance at possibly being able to woo the konoichi for himself.
He flipped her over on the bed, and mimicked the long drudging kisses down her neck and front that she had began with on him moments ago, "we got all night, no hurry," he whispered huskily in her ear. "But I have to warn you," his hand roamed slowly up her leg all the way up to her hip, "Baki and Kankuro might not be satisfied with a one night stand between us," he captured her mouth and let his lips settle firmly on hers in a deep kiss until they wandered back over to her neck. To his delight, she let out a soft whimper and she had to catch her breath a bit before answering.
"We should keep doing this," she explained irrationally. "They could have spies in Konoha that would check up on us."
"Yes," Shikamaru wholeheartedly agreed as she arced her back in another low moan, "good idea."
…..
It wasn't a good idea, it was an excuse. But who are they to argue with logic? Because getting caught just kissing wasn't all that appealing. Who says Shikamaru doesn't like foreign diplomacy?