Recently, the question was raised as to the allegiances of the Middleton Cheerleaders; who's in Bonnie's Camp and who's in Kim's camp. This was my immediate response. Enjoy. Legal disclaimers: Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, Bonnie Rockwaller, Tara, Hope, Crystal, Liz, Marcella, Mr. Barkin and all other characters are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media organizations. Although use in this context is probably considered fair under parody law, just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc.

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PUTTING IT ON

A Mini-Fic by SHADO Commander

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Hope began:

"At 5:45 am. I call Bonnie and leave a message saying 'I just want you to know that you're still my best friend.' When Bonnie calls me back, half asleep at 5:48 am, I'll say that I "refuse to talk about it or Kim over the phone, but we can speak when we get to school."

"Good," Tara said. "Jessica?"

"I bump into Bonnie as she enters the school at 6:45, and mention that I think Hope was looking for her. I'm not sure, but I think I saw her heading towards the bleachers out on the field."

"I, of course," Hope smiled, "Will actually be underneath the bleachers in the gym until 1 minute before home room starts."

"Kim and Stoppable enter the school at 6:55 unless there's a mission," Tara noted. "At 6:57 they separate and go to their own lockers. At 6:58, I walk past Kim and casually say 'I'm sure Bonnie didn't really mean it.'"

"At 6:59, as Bonnie is running past, late for class," Hope continued, "I'll yell out 'Oh there you are! We'll have to speak at lunch."

"As Kim sits down in front of me," Crystal grinned. "I lean over to Liz and whisper 'You heard what Bonnie told Tara about Kim, right?' Just loudly enough for her to just barely hear it."

"Five minutes before homeroom is over," Tara nodded, "I call the office pretending to be Crystal's mom and have her called to the office. And then…?"

"If anyone asks, my great Aunt Lucillia died," Crystal sighed sadly. "She left me her collection of potholders."

"When lunch starts, we sneak in the Teachers lounge the back way and use the facilities there so we can watch each others' backs and not get caught alone…" Marcella recited.

"While at lunch we all sit together at the same table as Kim and Stoppable," Hope picked up. "Since neither Kim nor Bonnie will want to ask what the other said in front of us or Ron, they'll simply glare at each other."

"Bonnie will get even madder, because her applesauce will taste like salt," Liz smirked.

"Thanks to the $5.00 bribe I gave Mrs. Suggs in the lunch line," Jessica smiled innocently.

"And as she walks past Kim, I'll pull the tripline that'll make her stumble and bump Kim," Crystal promised.

"While I pull up the tripline from the other side and secure it to the underside of the table with my gum," Marcella snuck in.

"If Bonnie says she was tripped, we're all to look away and act like we didn't see anything," Jessica said with the face of an angel.

"But say we're SURE it wasn't intentional," Hope looked almost as chaste and pure.

"While rolling our eyes," Liz giggled mischievously.

"And if either of them somehow manage to catch up with one of you between lunch and cheer practice?" Tara asked with a smug look on her face.

"We're to say 'No offense, but this is between the two of you and we really don't want to get involved," The girls answered in a chorus.

"Well?" Tara asked as she looked up to their real team leader.

There was a long, pregnant pause… and then the habitual scowl on Mr. Barkin's face cracked briefly into what passed for a smile.

"Okay, good. It sounds like you've covered all the angles."

Tara let out a sigh of relief. This was the first time she'd put together an ops plan entirely by herself, and she'd been worried that she'd missed something. The fact that Mr. Barkin approved really meant a lot… and not just the top spot she was going after in ROTC.

"All right girls," Barkin continued. "The cheer team's made it to the second stage of the regional cheer-offs, so we can't let the pressure up now. As long as Possible and Rockwaller are continually trying to one up each other in creating new routines, we've got an edge no other team can beat.

"BUT…" Tara completed the old mantra, "If they ever figure out that they actually like and respect each other, we run the risk of turning into just another moderately competent group of girls with two exceptional standouts."

"Keep them mad, keep them motivated and keep 'em way out on the edge," The girls all cheered.

"Excellent," Barkin grinned. "You girls keep this up and that championship is as good as ours!"

"Because when it comes to getting the best out of our so-called captains," Tara concluded, "Not knowing is half the battle!"