"Something In The Water"
I was inspired to write this by the surreal events of series 7 when Chen and Elizabeth were both pregnant at the same time. The events are unlikely I know, but it's a fantasy world I live in so just spare me some artistic licence. Kind of an alt-universe fic set about a year after Ella's birth. Three couples in the ER are faced with the same situation...
(**** - denotes a change between couples. One couple is obvious - see if you can guess who the other two are. All will be revealed, this isn't the end)
I own nothing and no - one (except of course the growing fetuses!)
"Hi, Mark,"
She sat by the bed, folding her hands on the sheet in front of her. He blinked and focussed on her face vaguely. She wasn't sure how much he knew or understood anymore but she hoped he still recognised her. Otherwise, she was
going to make things very complicated. He'd relapsed about 6 weeks ago, rapidly. It was inoperable this time. He was dying, it was just a matter of when. Which was why this supposedly joyous time was so difficult for her.
"Mark honey, can you hear me?"
She waited for a response, any response to indicate he understood her.
"It's Elizabeth. I've got some good news for you,"
She spoke slowly, as you would to a child, in the hope that he'd understand her.
"I think I'm pregnant again,"
The silence wounded her. He was supposed to be pleased, delighted, happy. He couldn't show her any emotion. He couldn't even show her any recognition. But she had to tell him anyway. She'd decided she was having this baby one
way or another. She knew it wouldn't be easy but her last pregnancy had been a suitable template for difficulty.
"It'll be nice for Ella to have a brother or sister, won't it?"
Why did she keep asking questions? It was just hurting her more and more. She needed to talk to him, to tell him this. He deserved to know even if he wouldn't see his child. She knew he wouldn't. Even if he did - he wouldn't know what was going on. She felt herself begin to cry at the desperation of her situation.
"Of course, I still have to make sure. I'll come and see you when I know,"
She stood up and bent to kiss his forehead. His skin was still warm, but his heart was cold. She didn't know if he still loved her but she'd never stop loving him.
****
"What on earth is wrong?"
She decided feigning ignorance was the easiest way to avoid the inevitable awkward conversation. She wanted to delay that as long as possible.
"Huh?"
"You've been avoiding me,"
Just leave me alone, she thought bitterly.
"No, I haven't..."
She protested turning to face him, and in that instant knowing that there was no way she could continue to lie to him the way she had been.
"Yes, you have,"
She said nothing, staring straight at him, too nervous to speak.
"Is something wrong?"
"What? No!"
"You're hiding something,"
Why did he know her so well? She cursed herself for a second.
"You don't need to know,"
"Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I do,"
"Then for Gods sakes tell me,"
She swallowed her fear, and took a deep breath. This was the time.
"Right, and promise me not to go off at the deep end..."
"I promise,"
"I'm pregnant,"
It felt better out in the open. She watched his face for any sign of a reaction.
"Excuse me? Pregnant?"
He spluttered, sounding horrified.
"I said don't overreact..It's not quite..."
"I don't consider this overreaction. Considering the bombshell you just dropped, I mean, we've only been together a month and a half,"
Don't jump to conclusions, she thought, let me explain. She was about to break his heart. It wasn't his child she was carrying.
"Let me explain...can I get a word in?"
She demanded angrily. He continued, forcefully questioning her with his words and his eyes. It scared her, what she had to do now.
"How long?"
"12 weeks. I've only known for two,"
She sounded ridiculously calm about it. She wasn't inside she was a seething mass of nerves and frustration.
"12 weeks?"
"If you'd let me explain,"
"Well, go ahead,"
"Look, it obviously isn't your baby, that doesn't take a mathematician,"
He shook his head, his face a mask trying to hide the devastation inside. She felt so evil in that second. What kind of a person was she?
"No,"
"It's the result of a one night stand,"
"You..? You aren't like that?"
"No, not normally,"
"Carry on,"
"The real reason isn't important, it just happened. You can guess the rest. I'm not expecting you to accept this child but I can't get rid of it,"
That put him in an awkward situation. She knew which way out of it she expected him to take. All men would run a mile, she didn't think he'd be any different. She was well prepared to be dumped.
"I wouldn't ask you to,"
"Good,"
"Well, I guess there's not much left to say,"
"I guess not,"
He turned and walked away from her. She stood for a minute, collecting herself. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes and momentarily she despised the life inside her. She despised it for making her let go of the only thing she
had in her life which made sense.
****
"Somethings bothering you..."
His voice annoyed her. She felt like screaming but stayed calm. She was perfectly happy on her own, working away, without being reminded of her misery.
"I'm fine,"
She stated slowly, breathing heavily.
"What's wrong?"
"Honestly, nothing,"
She didn't trust anybody when they said "honestly" and she doubted he'd buy it either. She had been acting strangely the past weeks but she had every reason to. She was worried, but not worried enough to tell him yet. She was
terrified of being hurt again.
"Care to share?"
"Let me sort it out alone will you?"
She wheeled angrily. She saw only deep concern etched on his face.
"You sure you can?"
"I can try,"
"You are worrying me,"
"I'm worrying me,"
She was. Why couldn't she just admit she wanted, no, needed help? She couldn't do this alone again. Not after last time.
"Tell me what's up, I wanna help,"
"It's nothing. I'm stressing about nothing,"
"Come on,"
He encouraged gently. She didn't feel pushed. It was going to come out eventually anyway.
"I'm late,"
"What?"
"I think I'm pregnant, with child, in the family way,"
"I repeat..what?"
She registered the same shock on his face as she felt inside when she realised.
"My thoughts exactly,"
"How..I mean...?"
"Form sentences! I don't know,"
She snapped angrily.
"Make sure, I mean, are you sure?"
"I don't miss periods often,"
Her tone was biting. He took a step back from her.
"Test?"
"Not yet, give me a chance will you?"
She wasn't ready to know for sure yet. Then there would be a decision to be made and she hated that. She would hate herself more than she already did. She couldn't have a child. She couldn't do that to herself.
I was inspired to write this by the surreal events of series 7 when Chen and Elizabeth were both pregnant at the same time. The events are unlikely I know, but it's a fantasy world I live in so just spare me some artistic licence. Kind of an alt-universe fic set about a year after Ella's birth. Three couples in the ER are faced with the same situation...
(**** - denotes a change between couples. One couple is obvious - see if you can guess who the other two are. All will be revealed, this isn't the end)
I own nothing and no - one (except of course the growing fetuses!)
"Hi, Mark,"
She sat by the bed, folding her hands on the sheet in front of her. He blinked and focussed on her face vaguely. She wasn't sure how much he knew or understood anymore but she hoped he still recognised her. Otherwise, she was
going to make things very complicated. He'd relapsed about 6 weeks ago, rapidly. It was inoperable this time. He was dying, it was just a matter of when. Which was why this supposedly joyous time was so difficult for her.
"Mark honey, can you hear me?"
She waited for a response, any response to indicate he understood her.
"It's Elizabeth. I've got some good news for you,"
She spoke slowly, as you would to a child, in the hope that he'd understand her.
"I think I'm pregnant again,"
The silence wounded her. He was supposed to be pleased, delighted, happy. He couldn't show her any emotion. He couldn't even show her any recognition. But she had to tell him anyway. She'd decided she was having this baby one
way or another. She knew it wouldn't be easy but her last pregnancy had been a suitable template for difficulty.
"It'll be nice for Ella to have a brother or sister, won't it?"
Why did she keep asking questions? It was just hurting her more and more. She needed to talk to him, to tell him this. He deserved to know even if he wouldn't see his child. She knew he wouldn't. Even if he did - he wouldn't know what was going on. She felt herself begin to cry at the desperation of her situation.
"Of course, I still have to make sure. I'll come and see you when I know,"
She stood up and bent to kiss his forehead. His skin was still warm, but his heart was cold. She didn't know if he still loved her but she'd never stop loving him.
****
"What on earth is wrong?"
She decided feigning ignorance was the easiest way to avoid the inevitable awkward conversation. She wanted to delay that as long as possible.
"Huh?"
"You've been avoiding me,"
Just leave me alone, she thought bitterly.
"No, I haven't..."
She protested turning to face him, and in that instant knowing that there was no way she could continue to lie to him the way she had been.
"Yes, you have,"
She said nothing, staring straight at him, too nervous to speak.
"Is something wrong?"
"What? No!"
"You're hiding something,"
Why did he know her so well? She cursed herself for a second.
"You don't need to know,"
"Don't you trust me?"
"Of course I do,"
"Then for Gods sakes tell me,"
She swallowed her fear, and took a deep breath. This was the time.
"Right, and promise me not to go off at the deep end..."
"I promise,"
"I'm pregnant,"
It felt better out in the open. She watched his face for any sign of a reaction.
"Excuse me? Pregnant?"
He spluttered, sounding horrified.
"I said don't overreact..It's not quite..."
"I don't consider this overreaction. Considering the bombshell you just dropped, I mean, we've only been together a month and a half,"
Don't jump to conclusions, she thought, let me explain. She was about to break his heart. It wasn't his child she was carrying.
"Let me explain...can I get a word in?"
She demanded angrily. He continued, forcefully questioning her with his words and his eyes. It scared her, what she had to do now.
"How long?"
"12 weeks. I've only known for two,"
She sounded ridiculously calm about it. She wasn't inside she was a seething mass of nerves and frustration.
"12 weeks?"
"If you'd let me explain,"
"Well, go ahead,"
"Look, it obviously isn't your baby, that doesn't take a mathematician,"
He shook his head, his face a mask trying to hide the devastation inside. She felt so evil in that second. What kind of a person was she?
"No,"
"It's the result of a one night stand,"
"You..? You aren't like that?"
"No, not normally,"
"Carry on,"
"The real reason isn't important, it just happened. You can guess the rest. I'm not expecting you to accept this child but I can't get rid of it,"
That put him in an awkward situation. She knew which way out of it she expected him to take. All men would run a mile, she didn't think he'd be any different. She was well prepared to be dumped.
"I wouldn't ask you to,"
"Good,"
"Well, I guess there's not much left to say,"
"I guess not,"
He turned and walked away from her. She stood for a minute, collecting herself. Tears stung at the corners of her eyes and momentarily she despised the life inside her. She despised it for making her let go of the only thing she
had in her life which made sense.
****
"Somethings bothering you..."
His voice annoyed her. She felt like screaming but stayed calm. She was perfectly happy on her own, working away, without being reminded of her misery.
"I'm fine,"
She stated slowly, breathing heavily.
"What's wrong?"
"Honestly, nothing,"
She didn't trust anybody when they said "honestly" and she doubted he'd buy it either. She had been acting strangely the past weeks but she had every reason to. She was worried, but not worried enough to tell him yet. She was
terrified of being hurt again.
"Care to share?"
"Let me sort it out alone will you?"
She wheeled angrily. She saw only deep concern etched on his face.
"You sure you can?"
"I can try,"
"You are worrying me,"
"I'm worrying me,"
She was. Why couldn't she just admit she wanted, no, needed help? She couldn't do this alone again. Not after last time.
"Tell me what's up, I wanna help,"
"It's nothing. I'm stressing about nothing,"
"Come on,"
He encouraged gently. She didn't feel pushed. It was going to come out eventually anyway.
"I'm late,"
"What?"
"I think I'm pregnant, with child, in the family way,"
"I repeat..what?"
She registered the same shock on his face as she felt inside when she realised.
"My thoughts exactly,"
"How..I mean...?"
"Form sentences! I don't know,"
She snapped angrily.
"Make sure, I mean, are you sure?"
"I don't miss periods often,"
Her tone was biting. He took a step back from her.
"Test?"
"Not yet, give me a chance will you?"
She wasn't ready to know for sure yet. Then there would be a decision to be made and she hated that. She would hate herself more than she already did. She couldn't have a child. She couldn't do that to herself.