The Road to Recovery - Part 2
The time frame for this fanfic is between the ending of "One of Those Days" and the beginning of "Because It's There".
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters for "Higher Ground".
**Sophie ran from one room of the house to the next, frantically searching. She could hear it, hear the baby's cries, but where was the baby? Her panic building, she ran outside, to see Peter carrying the baby to the car.
"Wait for me, I'll be right there," she yelled, relieved that Peter had picked up the crying infant.
She hurried inside Peter's house to grab her jacket. But when she went back outside, Peter was pulling away.
"Wait! Wait!" She ran after the car, unable to catch up to it. Peter waved to her as the car disappeared down the driveway, and she started to cry.
"Sophie, Sophie..." Who was calling her name? She turned around, but no one was there.
"Sophie, open your eyes..."**
Sophie opened her eyes and immediately regretted it. The bright fluorescent lights felt like little needles sticking her in the eyes. Her head felt so heavy, all she wanted to do was sleep.
"Come on, Sophie, you need to stay awake so you can leave recovery and go back to your outpatient room," the nurse encouraged her. "Here, try some ice chips."
Sophie propped herself up on one elbow, with the help of a nurse, and licked some ice chips off the spoon the nurse was holding. She didn't realize how dry her mouth was until the cold chips were sticking to it. The ice started to melt, helping the dryness, and also making her wake up more.
The nurse smiled at her. "You've been sleeping for over an hour now, that anesthesia must have really done its job on you!" Sophie leaned back, trying to concentrate on staying awake. She let her hands run over her stomach, and realized she had a bandage on her navel. It was sore, along with her pelvic area. For some reason she couldn't quite figure out, her right shoulder felt like a truck had run into it, it was throbbing.
"Why is my right shoulder so sore?" she asked the nurse.
"You'll have to wait and ask the doctor about that, she should be here any minute," replied the nurse, before stepping over to another patient.
Sophie groaned inwardly as she tried to shift her weight off of her right shoulder, but it didn't seem to help the pain any. I wish Peter were here right now, she thought, but it's not possible.
Sophie had desperately wanted to tell Peter the truth earlier that morning about where she was going, but instead she made up a story about a spa visit. I wonder if he bought that lame excuse for a break, she wondered. She wished the spa story had been true, instead of what she was experiencing now.
Just then, the doctor came in to see Sophie. "Ah, finally awake, I see."
"Yeah, if you can call it that. I still feel so groggy," she replied, shaking her head to try to feel more alert.
"Well, that's very normal after having anesthesia. My advice is to just go home and do nothing the rest of the day but sleep it off. How do you feel otherwise?"
"Let's see... my navel and pelvis are sore, and I'm ready to chop off my right shoulder," Sophie answered, giving the doc a wry smile.
"Sophie, the damage from the endometriosis was even worse than what I saw from the ultrasound. We had to use a laser to destroy several endometrial implants along your fallopian tubes, ovaries, and even some attached to your colon, that's how severe the bleeding was. We also performed a D&C, a dilation and curretage, which means we scraped the endometriosis buildup from the inside of the uterus. You'll probably experience cramps similar to menstrual cramps for the next few days from the D&C. The incision in your navel should heal by itself, just don't get it wet for a few days, then you can remove the bandage. You can keep taking the painkillers I already prescribed for you, they should last you through this recovery period."
"Why does my right shoulder hurt so much?" asked Sophie, trying to process all the information at once.
"We injected carbon dioxide gas into your abdomen to distend it and push the bowel away so we could view your pelvic organs. The residual carbon dioxide gas is most likely putting pressure on your diaphragm, which is causing referred pain in your shoulder. It's only temporary, it should be gone by tomorrow." The doctor patted her arm reassuringly. "Any more questions?" Sophie shook her head. "Okay, then, I think you're reading to go back to the outpatient area, then you may go home."
Home. Sophie realized that for the first time, she was really thinking of Mt. Horizon as her home. Having traveled for so long, she really hadn't settled down anywhere long enough to call it home. Of course, it would be even better if my home was Peter's home, she thought. Wishful thinking, she sighed, pushing the idea out of her mind.
**********
Peter glanced out his window toward Sophie's trailer, he hadn't seen her come home in the taxi the day before. Maybe she came back while I was at the main lodge, I probably just missed her, he thought. He decided to take his chances that she was awake to see if she'd join him for a morning run.
"Sophie, are you up?" he yelled, knocking on her door. He waited a minute, then became concerned when she didn't come to the door. "Sophie, are you in there?" he yelled again, pounding on the door.
The door flung open, with Sophie behind it. "What in the world do you want this early in the morning, Peter? Some people are still sleeping, you know," she said angrily.
Peter was taken aback, he hadn't expected that reaction from her. Normally, she was an early riser like himself. Upon looking closer, Peter realized that she didn't look well - she had dark circles under her eyes, and she was wearing a heavy robe instead of her usual lightweight p.j.'s. "Soph, I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have assumed you'd be up. Are you feeling okay?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just trying to catch up on my sleep," she said, avoiding his eyes.
"Okay, then. I'll let you get back to sleep. Maybe we can have lunch together later?" he asked hopefully.
"I don't know, Peter. I need to catch up on paying bills, stuff like that, since I was gone yesterday." She finally looked him in the eyes for a brief moment, then looked down again. "I'll call you later." Then, she shut the door.
"Okay, what was that all about?" Peter muttered to himself. Women, he thought, could they be any more confusing? First, she talks about our committment to Horizon, then she tells me she loves me and kisses me. Now, she looks like death warmed over and doesn't want to talk. I give up!
Peter could tell he was starting to get burnt out. He was sick of trying to guess what Sophie was thinking, even though he cared deeply for her. He hated that he couldn't help Shelby from going home to her abusive step-father, even if the man was recovering from a heart attack and probably was incapable of hurting Shelby. And probably worst of all, he couldn't get used to the fact that his father had died. Since Peter had lived away from his father for several years, it just seemed like his dad was back in New York. Then, it would hit him - his father was dead. All the disappointment and heartache that Peter had caused his dad from using drugs, he wished he could take it all back, do it over again in a different way. Just keep running, he told himself. Don't think about any of that, just focus on running.
**********
Over the next few days, Peter kept up with his running and bikiing, often going several miles, more than once a day. Sophie had noticed his increase in exercise and was starting to worry about him. She didn't know how to approach him, though, without him getting defensive. Plus, the two of them hadn't really had a heart-to-heart since the morning she left for the hospital. Sophie didn't know if she was ready to have that talk with him. She'd decided it would be best if she didn't tell Peter that she couldn't have kids. She didn't want to lose him, but she was afraid it was inevitable. If she did tell him she couldn't have children, he probably would want nothing more to do with her. If she didn't tell him, then he would wonder why she was distancing herself. Sophie didn't think it was right to keep leading Peter on when she knew they couldn't end up together. It wouldn't be fair to him, she thought sadly. He would make an excellent father, and I don't have the right to ask him to give up that chance.
The next day, Peter cornered her in the main office. "Want to have dinner later?" he asked with a grin.
"Are you sure you don't have to go running or biking?" Sophie asked, trying to be nonchalant.
"No, I already went on my morning run. Why, did you want to go on a run or bike ride together?"
"No," she answered quickly, "I can't. I mean, I'm kind of tired today. Maybe another time. But I'd love to have dinner." She regretted saying it as soon as the words came out of her mouth.
"Great!" Peter was smiling broadly now, already planning their dinner together. "How about if you come over to Chateaux Scarbrow around 7:30 this evening?"
"Okay, I'll be there," she smiled in spite of herself as he practically floated away. What have I gotten myself into, she wondered.
**********
The next few hours seemed to fly by as each prepared for the dinner. Sophie tried on five different outfits, wondering why she was so nervous for their dinner. Meanwhile, Peter had every pot and pan dirty in his kitchen, trying to whip up a gourmet dinner for the two of them to enjoy. At promptly 7:30, Sophie knocked on his door.
"Good evening, madam. Welcome to -" he stopped short, opening the door and catching sight of her. She looked beautiful, in a royal blue scoop-neck shirt and cream-colored pants, with her hair pulled back, just how he liked it best.
"Are you going to invite me in?" she teased as she admired his attire, a dark blue v-neck sweater with dockers.
"Sure, sure, come on in." He smiled as she came inside and took in the scene.
Peter had candles lit all over his living room, with the table set up for a candlelight dinner as well. Sophie could smell something delicious wafting from the kitchen. "Mountain Man, you never fail to amaze me." She turned to him and smiled, gazing up into his beautiful eyes.
"Allow me to amaze you some more, then," he said, pulling her into a kiss that kept going and going... BEEP!
"Lousy timing," Peter moaned, then went to turn off the oven's timer and check on dinner.
Sophie silently chastised herself. Is this what I consider to be not leading him on? What am I doing? She pulled herself together as Peter came out with a steaming hot dish and set it on the table.
"Mmm, it smells delicious," Sophie said. "What is it?"
"One of those French dishes that I don't know how to pronounce. I hope you like it." he smiled as he pulled out her chair for her.
"I'm sure I will. Thank you." She sat down across from him, suddenly apprehensive.
They ate mostly in silence, making small talk about Horizon and the weather. When they were both finished eating, Peter cleared his throat. "Soph, there's something I've been wanting to ask you."
"Oh? What could that be?" she asked, somewhat nervous.
"About a week ago, you told me that you loved me," he said, looking directly into her eyes. "Did you mean it?"
"Peter, I... of course, I meant it. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." She looked away, fiddling with her fork.
He reached over and grabbed her hand, causing her to drop her fork. "Then why have you been pulling away from me since then? Did I do something to upset you?" he asked, very much wanting her to open up to him.
"No, Peter, it's not like that. I just need to figure out what I want in life. I've had a lot of change happen lately, I'm just trying to adjust to my role here at Horizon, and to where I fit into your life." She paused and looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Peter, I would never intentionally hurt you. I hope you know that."
"Of course I know that, and it goes both ways. And I know you've had to adjust to your new job here, your new home, and everything that comes with Horizon. I've been doing my own share of adjusting to change lately, you know," suddenly a bit angry. This was not going at all how he'd planned.
Sophie studied him for a moment before she spoke again. "Peter, neither one of us seems to be ready for a full-time committment here. I think it would only make things more confusing than they are now."
"Soph, I wasn't suggesting a full-time committment. Not yet, anyway. I was just hoping that we were still moving forward with our relationship, because it was starting to feel like you were putting the brakes on." He was trying hard not to get completely exasperated.
"No brakes, Peter. Just slowing down the pace a little. Can we do that, please?" she asked softly.
"Yes, we can do that, Soph," he said with a sigh.
An awkward silence descended between them. Sohie finally spoke up. "I should go, you need to get up early tomorrow morning to get ready for the new admit." Sophie realized that Peter had been holding onto her hand all this time, and gently pulled away from his grasp as she stood up.
"Okay, I know you said earlier you were tired. Besides, you'll need your rest for this new admit to come into the Cliffhanger group," he said, smiling once again.
"Peter! I thought you said he was going to join the Trailblazers! I don't know how the kids will react, since Shelby just left and all -"
"I'm just kidding, Soph. I just wanted to see that spark you get in your eye when you're frustrated with me," he teased her as they moved to the door.
"Ohh, you!" she smiled as she playfully puched him in the shoulder, then became more serious. "Thanks for dinner, and for understanding about... everything." She looked up into his eyes, wanting to tell him more, but unable to do so.
"I didn't say I understood, but hey - I'm patient. But I would love a goodnight kiss before you go," he said, leaning closer to her.
"I think that could be arranged," she smiled, as their lips met for a kiss that was even better than the one before dinner. Sophie reluctantly pulled away. "Goodnight, Peter," she said, smiling at him as she walked out.
"Goodnight, Sophie," he replied as he closed the door. He watched out the window as she turned back, waved, then went inside her trailer. "I love you, too."
The time frame for this fanfic is between the ending of "One of Those Days" and the beginning of "Because It's There".
Disclaimer: I don't own any characters for "Higher Ground".
**Sophie ran from one room of the house to the next, frantically searching. She could hear it, hear the baby's cries, but where was the baby? Her panic building, she ran outside, to see Peter carrying the baby to the car.
"Wait for me, I'll be right there," she yelled, relieved that Peter had picked up the crying infant.
She hurried inside Peter's house to grab her jacket. But when she went back outside, Peter was pulling away.
"Wait! Wait!" She ran after the car, unable to catch up to it. Peter waved to her as the car disappeared down the driveway, and she started to cry.
"Sophie, Sophie..." Who was calling her name? She turned around, but no one was there.
"Sophie, open your eyes..."**
Sophie opened her eyes and immediately regretted it. The bright fluorescent lights felt like little needles sticking her in the eyes. Her head felt so heavy, all she wanted to do was sleep.
"Come on, Sophie, you need to stay awake so you can leave recovery and go back to your outpatient room," the nurse encouraged her. "Here, try some ice chips."
Sophie propped herself up on one elbow, with the help of a nurse, and licked some ice chips off the spoon the nurse was holding. She didn't realize how dry her mouth was until the cold chips were sticking to it. The ice started to melt, helping the dryness, and also making her wake up more.
The nurse smiled at her. "You've been sleeping for over an hour now, that anesthesia must have really done its job on you!" Sophie leaned back, trying to concentrate on staying awake. She let her hands run over her stomach, and realized she had a bandage on her navel. It was sore, along with her pelvic area. For some reason she couldn't quite figure out, her right shoulder felt like a truck had run into it, it was throbbing.
"Why is my right shoulder so sore?" she asked the nurse.
"You'll have to wait and ask the doctor about that, she should be here any minute," replied the nurse, before stepping over to another patient.
Sophie groaned inwardly as she tried to shift her weight off of her right shoulder, but it didn't seem to help the pain any. I wish Peter were here right now, she thought, but it's not possible.
Sophie had desperately wanted to tell Peter the truth earlier that morning about where she was going, but instead she made up a story about a spa visit. I wonder if he bought that lame excuse for a break, she wondered. She wished the spa story had been true, instead of what she was experiencing now.
Just then, the doctor came in to see Sophie. "Ah, finally awake, I see."
"Yeah, if you can call it that. I still feel so groggy," she replied, shaking her head to try to feel more alert.
"Well, that's very normal after having anesthesia. My advice is to just go home and do nothing the rest of the day but sleep it off. How do you feel otherwise?"
"Let's see... my navel and pelvis are sore, and I'm ready to chop off my right shoulder," Sophie answered, giving the doc a wry smile.
"Sophie, the damage from the endometriosis was even worse than what I saw from the ultrasound. We had to use a laser to destroy several endometrial implants along your fallopian tubes, ovaries, and even some attached to your colon, that's how severe the bleeding was. We also performed a D&C, a dilation and curretage, which means we scraped the endometriosis buildup from the inside of the uterus. You'll probably experience cramps similar to menstrual cramps for the next few days from the D&C. The incision in your navel should heal by itself, just don't get it wet for a few days, then you can remove the bandage. You can keep taking the painkillers I already prescribed for you, they should last you through this recovery period."
"Why does my right shoulder hurt so much?" asked Sophie, trying to process all the information at once.
"We injected carbon dioxide gas into your abdomen to distend it and push the bowel away so we could view your pelvic organs. The residual carbon dioxide gas is most likely putting pressure on your diaphragm, which is causing referred pain in your shoulder. It's only temporary, it should be gone by tomorrow." The doctor patted her arm reassuringly. "Any more questions?" Sophie shook her head. "Okay, then, I think you're reading to go back to the outpatient area, then you may go home."
Home. Sophie realized that for the first time, she was really thinking of Mt. Horizon as her home. Having traveled for so long, she really hadn't settled down anywhere long enough to call it home. Of course, it would be even better if my home was Peter's home, she thought. Wishful thinking, she sighed, pushing the idea out of her mind.
**********
Peter glanced out his window toward Sophie's trailer, he hadn't seen her come home in the taxi the day before. Maybe she came back while I was at the main lodge, I probably just missed her, he thought. He decided to take his chances that she was awake to see if she'd join him for a morning run.
"Sophie, are you up?" he yelled, knocking on her door. He waited a minute, then became concerned when she didn't come to the door. "Sophie, are you in there?" he yelled again, pounding on the door.
The door flung open, with Sophie behind it. "What in the world do you want this early in the morning, Peter? Some people are still sleeping, you know," she said angrily.
Peter was taken aback, he hadn't expected that reaction from her. Normally, she was an early riser like himself. Upon looking closer, Peter realized that she didn't look well - she had dark circles under her eyes, and she was wearing a heavy robe instead of her usual lightweight p.j.'s. "Soph, I'm sorry, I guess I shouldn't have assumed you'd be up. Are you feeling okay?" he asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just trying to catch up on my sleep," she said, avoiding his eyes.
"Okay, then. I'll let you get back to sleep. Maybe we can have lunch together later?" he asked hopefully.
"I don't know, Peter. I need to catch up on paying bills, stuff like that, since I was gone yesterday." She finally looked him in the eyes for a brief moment, then looked down again. "I'll call you later." Then, she shut the door.
"Okay, what was that all about?" Peter muttered to himself. Women, he thought, could they be any more confusing? First, she talks about our committment to Horizon, then she tells me she loves me and kisses me. Now, she looks like death warmed over and doesn't want to talk. I give up!
Peter could tell he was starting to get burnt out. He was sick of trying to guess what Sophie was thinking, even though he cared deeply for her. He hated that he couldn't help Shelby from going home to her abusive step-father, even if the man was recovering from a heart attack and probably was incapable of hurting Shelby. And probably worst of all, he couldn't get used to the fact that his father had died. Since Peter had lived away from his father for several years, it just seemed like his dad was back in New York. Then, it would hit him - his father was dead. All the disappointment and heartache that Peter had caused his dad from using drugs, he wished he could take it all back, do it over again in a different way. Just keep running, he told himself. Don't think about any of that, just focus on running.
**********
Over the next few days, Peter kept up with his running and bikiing, often going several miles, more than once a day. Sophie had noticed his increase in exercise and was starting to worry about him. She didn't know how to approach him, though, without him getting defensive. Plus, the two of them hadn't really had a heart-to-heart since the morning she left for the hospital. Sophie didn't know if she was ready to have that talk with him. She'd decided it would be best if she didn't tell Peter that she couldn't have kids. She didn't want to lose him, but she was afraid it was inevitable. If she did tell him she couldn't have children, he probably would want nothing more to do with her. If she didn't tell him, then he would wonder why she was distancing herself. Sophie didn't think it was right to keep leading Peter on when she knew they couldn't end up together. It wouldn't be fair to him, she thought sadly. He would make an excellent father, and I don't have the right to ask him to give up that chance.
The next day, Peter cornered her in the main office. "Want to have dinner later?" he asked with a grin.
"Are you sure you don't have to go running or biking?" Sophie asked, trying to be nonchalant.
"No, I already went on my morning run. Why, did you want to go on a run or bike ride together?"
"No," she answered quickly, "I can't. I mean, I'm kind of tired today. Maybe another time. But I'd love to have dinner." She regretted saying it as soon as the words came out of her mouth.
"Great!" Peter was smiling broadly now, already planning their dinner together. "How about if you come over to Chateaux Scarbrow around 7:30 this evening?"
"Okay, I'll be there," she smiled in spite of herself as he practically floated away. What have I gotten myself into, she wondered.
**********
The next few hours seemed to fly by as each prepared for the dinner. Sophie tried on five different outfits, wondering why she was so nervous for their dinner. Meanwhile, Peter had every pot and pan dirty in his kitchen, trying to whip up a gourmet dinner for the two of them to enjoy. At promptly 7:30, Sophie knocked on his door.
"Good evening, madam. Welcome to -" he stopped short, opening the door and catching sight of her. She looked beautiful, in a royal blue scoop-neck shirt and cream-colored pants, with her hair pulled back, just how he liked it best.
"Are you going to invite me in?" she teased as she admired his attire, a dark blue v-neck sweater with dockers.
"Sure, sure, come on in." He smiled as she came inside and took in the scene.
Peter had candles lit all over his living room, with the table set up for a candlelight dinner as well. Sophie could smell something delicious wafting from the kitchen. "Mountain Man, you never fail to amaze me." She turned to him and smiled, gazing up into his beautiful eyes.
"Allow me to amaze you some more, then," he said, pulling her into a kiss that kept going and going... BEEP!
"Lousy timing," Peter moaned, then went to turn off the oven's timer and check on dinner.
Sophie silently chastised herself. Is this what I consider to be not leading him on? What am I doing? She pulled herself together as Peter came out with a steaming hot dish and set it on the table.
"Mmm, it smells delicious," Sophie said. "What is it?"
"One of those French dishes that I don't know how to pronounce. I hope you like it." he smiled as he pulled out her chair for her.
"I'm sure I will. Thank you." She sat down across from him, suddenly apprehensive.
They ate mostly in silence, making small talk about Horizon and the weather. When they were both finished eating, Peter cleared his throat. "Soph, there's something I've been wanting to ask you."
"Oh? What could that be?" she asked, somewhat nervous.
"About a week ago, you told me that you loved me," he said, looking directly into her eyes. "Did you mean it?"
"Peter, I... of course, I meant it. I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it." She looked away, fiddling with her fork.
He reached over and grabbed her hand, causing her to drop her fork. "Then why have you been pulling away from me since then? Did I do something to upset you?" he asked, very much wanting her to open up to him.
"No, Peter, it's not like that. I just need to figure out what I want in life. I've had a lot of change happen lately, I'm just trying to adjust to my role here at Horizon, and to where I fit into your life." She paused and looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry if I hurt you, Peter, I would never intentionally hurt you. I hope you know that."
"Of course I know that, and it goes both ways. And I know you've had to adjust to your new job here, your new home, and everything that comes with Horizon. I've been doing my own share of adjusting to change lately, you know," suddenly a bit angry. This was not going at all how he'd planned.
Sophie studied him for a moment before she spoke again. "Peter, neither one of us seems to be ready for a full-time committment here. I think it would only make things more confusing than they are now."
"Soph, I wasn't suggesting a full-time committment. Not yet, anyway. I was just hoping that we were still moving forward with our relationship, because it was starting to feel like you were putting the brakes on." He was trying hard not to get completely exasperated.
"No brakes, Peter. Just slowing down the pace a little. Can we do that, please?" she asked softly.
"Yes, we can do that, Soph," he said with a sigh.
An awkward silence descended between them. Sohie finally spoke up. "I should go, you need to get up early tomorrow morning to get ready for the new admit." Sophie realized that Peter had been holding onto her hand all this time, and gently pulled away from his grasp as she stood up.
"Okay, I know you said earlier you were tired. Besides, you'll need your rest for this new admit to come into the Cliffhanger group," he said, smiling once again.
"Peter! I thought you said he was going to join the Trailblazers! I don't know how the kids will react, since Shelby just left and all -"
"I'm just kidding, Soph. I just wanted to see that spark you get in your eye when you're frustrated with me," he teased her as they moved to the door.
"Ohh, you!" she smiled as she playfully puched him in the shoulder, then became more serious. "Thanks for dinner, and for understanding about... everything." She looked up into his eyes, wanting to tell him more, but unable to do so.
"I didn't say I understood, but hey - I'm patient. But I would love a goodnight kiss before you go," he said, leaning closer to her.
"I think that could be arranged," she smiled, as their lips met for a kiss that was even better than the one before dinner. Sophie reluctantly pulled away. "Goodnight, Peter," she said, smiling at him as she walked out.
"Goodnight, Sophie," he replied as he closed the door. He watched out the window as she turned back, waved, then went inside her trailer. "I love you, too."