The Road to Recovery - Part 1

The time frame for this fanfic is between the ending of "One of Those Days" and the beginning of "Because It's There". I know I'm not very original. I used some HG script in here, so please don't sue me. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters for "Higher Ground".


Peter stood in front of his house, watching the cab pull away with Sophie in it. He was still trying to register what had just happened.

"I love you, Peter," Sophie had told him, after she kissed him. Sophie seemed to be able to sense his surprise. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything," she said, giving him a small smile and backing away. "I'll see you later, okay?" With that, she got in the cab and was gone.

Peter knew something was wrong with Sophie, he could sense it. Was she really going to a spa day with a new friend? He doubted it, but didn't know how to get her to open up to him. Sophie had once told him that when the student is ready, he will open up to the teacher. Guess I'll just have to go by that old adage, Peter thought to himself. He went back inside to get ready for the day.


Sophie blinked back tears and tried to concentrate on the scenery as the cab made its way toward the hospital. Why did I do that, she thought to herself. Was it fair of her to tell Peter that she loved him, and then to just leave? How would he react when she saw him next?

Sophie remembered how, just a few minutes ago, she had tried to get an idea if Peter wanted kids, and he rambled on about a story in which he and his brother fell asleep in wet cement when they were little. Their mother eventually found the two boys and chastised them. At the end of the story, Sophie was more confused than ever and had to ask Peter what his point was. Peter said his mother had laughed about that moment for the rest of her life. Sophie took that to mean that he thought kids were worth every trial and tribulation they put parents through.

There was no way I could have told him that I can't have children after hearing that story, she sighed, leaning her head against the window. She needed to get this out of her mind, to concentrate on relaxing for the surgery that she was about to have. But she couldn't stop seeing Peter's face after she told him she loved him. Sophie wondered why she had chosen that moment to confess her love to him. Bad timing, she thought, but I'm glad he knows now. The problem was, now that she knew that Peter wanted kids, she didn't know if she would ever again act on that love for him. It wouldn't be fair to him, she thought sadly.


Most of the Cliffhangers were in the main lodge, Peter noticed, as he walked in to supervise the group of students. All but Shelby, he thought angrily. He still couldn't quite believe that Shelby had to go back to that house, where her stepfather had abused her. He sat down and let his mind wander to Sophie.

Sophie. Peter had never felt this way about any other woman, certainly not about Chloe, even though he had married her. No, with Sophie it was different. She was definitely a handful, but she had changed lately. Something was off, he couldn't put his finger on it.

He smiled, recalling her first visit to Horizon.
Flashback
"Hey, darlin'." Peter grinned as he watched Sophie land from her hang-gliding excursion. "You always have to make a grand entrance, don't you?" he teased. Sophie took off her helmet. "You were expecting less?" She grinned back at him. "Not from you." Peter stepped back to look at Sophie. "Wow, you sure look good." "You don't look so bad yourself, Mountain Man. You do woodsy well," she replied with a flirtatious smile. "It's all the fresh air and clean living," Peter said, smiling even bigger now. "I hope all the fresh air and clean living haven't made Peter a dull boy," Sophie said coyly. "I don't think so," he replied, and then they were kissing, making up for lost time...

End Flashback


Sophie loved thinking back to when she had first come to Horizon. It had just been for a visit, but she had fallen in love with the place, and the idea of helping out the kids had appealed to her. Of course, it didn't hurt that she would have Peter right beside her every day. Still, she hadn't been ready to stay put after that first visit. She had told Peter, "I've never been one for dropping anchor or sinking roots." Peter had tried to convince her to stay, but to no avail.

"Okay, Sophie. You need to change into this gown," the nurse said, snapping Sophie out of her reverie. "Just put your personal belongings in this bag, and they'll be waiting for you when you get out of recovery. Now, you haven't had anything to eat or drink since midnight, right?"

"Right," Sophie answered, a bit testy. "I followed the doctor's instructions to the tee."

"Great, that makes my job a lot easier," the nurse said with an understanding smile. "Someone should be here in about 15 minutes to take you to the OR. In the meantime, I need to draw some blood, so just relax."

Easier said than done, Sophie thought, rolling up her sleeve for the nurse.


Peter sighed, he couldn't get his mind off of Sophie. Looking around the lodge, he noticed Daisy reading a letter with a strange expression on her face. I wonder what that's about, he thought, but decided to leave it alone. Peter thought back to yesterday, when he had been complaining to Sophie about his brother, Mark.

Flashback
"It's been one of those days?" Sophie asked Peter, knowing he was stressed. "You have no idea," he answered with a sigh. "Oh, yes, I do," she responded dully. Peter was a bit surprised. "You too, huh? Well, what is it?" he asked, a bit impatient. "It's nothing. It can wait," Sophie said quickly, avoiding his eyes. "Well, if it's nothing, why don't you just tell me then?" he asked, exasperated. "Don't push me, okay?" she snapped. "I'm sorry," he said, backing off. "You just... You do that a lot, you know?" Sophie looked distraught, and it hurt Peter that she wouldn't confide in him. He knew that he needed to give her more of an apology. "I'm sorry. I'm just a little scattered today. I can't help Shelby. I can't help my brother." They were interrupted by the arrival of Shelby's mom.
End of Flashback

Peter kept staring off into space, trying to think of something else other than Sophie. It wasn't working.


Sophie was being wheeled into the OR. This is a bit surreal, she thought to herself, taking it all in. She was dressed in a paper-thin gown that opened in the front. She had nothing else on but fuzzy socks that were part of the hospital gear, and a paper cap that resembled a shower cap, with her hair tucked into it. Her doctor was waiting for her, along with another doctor, an anesthesiologist, and a few others. All were dressed in the scrub gowns. Whoever designed hospitals could have picked a better color than this ugly green, she thought.

"Sophie, you need to roll over onto the operating table now," her doctor told her. She obliged, trying to do it in a modest way, but was unsuccessful. Not that it matters, she thought, knowing that once she was out, the doctors would have to remove part of the gown to perform the surgery.

She listened to the banter between the OR team, surprised that they all seemed so relaxed, as they discussed their weekend plans. Don't you care what I'm going through, she wanted to scream. She closed her eyes and tried to focus her thoughts. She had asked the question so many times before - why me? Why me? She never got an answer. Maybe I'm not ready to know the answer yet, she thought. Still, it made her angry. She was not a saint by a long stretch, but she had led a pretty good life so far. It's not a punishment, she kept telling herself. But it certainly didn't seem fair to her, either.

"Sophie, are you all right?" her doctor asked. "Fine," she smiled weakly. "Okay," the anesthesiologist said, "I need you to count backwards from 100." She placed the mask over Sophie's mouth and nose.

"100..." I can't have children, all right? You want my truth, there's my truth.
"99..." I guess it must really bite if you want kids and can't have them.
"98..." Does Peter know you can't have kids? No.
"97..." When he hears about the scarring on my fallopian tubes, he is going to run the other way.
"96..." When there's only one person in the world for you, you take them as is.

Sophie entered a deep, dreamless sleep.