Kazuhira Miller. Kazuhira Miller. Kazuhira Miller. Kazuhira Miller.
That name strikes fear into those who hear it across Motherbase. It echoes in his head as if whispered by some unknown entity. Was that who he really was? Was he a… Kazuhira Miller? Or was he something else entirely? His head ached from the thought.
He had interrogations today. Normally interrogations were saved for a psychologist staff member who had the time to spare, but he had taken over the interrogations of all dismissed staff. Kaz had also become the one to take over who was dismissed. Perhaps it was a conflict of interest but he reveled in it. No one questioned what happened to the soldiers once their file was stamped with the large red "DISMISSED" logo.
He got away with it for a while, only dismissing the troublemaker class. Once Venom extracted a new soldier that was far superior to one of these troublemakers, Kaz would scoop them up. He kept a list of them in his desk: Unsanitary, Harassment, Violent, Boasting, and the sort. These were listed as if these were skills? Kaz had found if he was in control of their "rehabilitation" to civilian world then the ache in the back of his skull would be subdued.
—-
His first soldier had been an accident. Really it had been. Everyone had been too busy to deal with the dismissed soldier, so Kaz got the short end of the stick. Even though Kaz was fairly certain Ocelot was dicking around somewhere. This soldier's skill? Violent. If Kaz had a sense of humor he would have rolled his eyes.
The soldier, Running Harrier, had further traumatized the staff with already existing PTSD. He had enticed episodes from the staff and neither Venom nor his commanders would stand by while this happened. Venom taught his men to not raise their weapons against each other… making this all the more ironic.
Running Harrier was bound to a chair when Kaz limped in. Harrier sneered at Kaz, tried to insult him and his disabilities, and was promptly thrashed by Kaz's cane. He hadn't even lost it then. He had kept his composure… that was just regular Kaz reacting. No it wasn't. A faint whisper in his head echoed. Regular Kaz lived on a beach, laughing with Big Boss and Medic. That Kaz must have died alone on that beach because the Kaz that inhabited this body was something entirely different.
"What are you going to do with me," Running Harrier spit blood at Kaz's feet. "Kazuhira Miller?"
A white noise began at the base of his skull. It was like a buzzing sound almost, and it engulfed his mind.
That's when the first death occurred. Really, an accident. Kaz could almost claim to have blacked out when it happened, but afterwards he would never tell anyone that.
He was different after Running Harrier. He felt refreshed and new. Almost like that blood bath had somehow been his resurrection. Kaz had been baptized by the blood of those weaker into this new form.
His skin felt alive and he craved more. He had hoped this buzz would last, but slowly it faded as weeks went by and he knew he had to do it again.
—-
"Kaz," The rough voice behind him made him turn. Venom stood there in his sneak suit and dumb scarf. They didn't match, but Venom insisted that it helped him aim better or something. Kaz couldn't remember the exact reasoning, but it always made him smile when he saw the combo.
Kaz took a hobbled step forward and Venom pulled him into his arms. It was a chaste kiss, but it meant more to both of them than anything else in this world.
"Make sure to take your BRENNAN LSR-46 on this mission," Kaz offered up the suggestion, already knowing the infiltration mission Venom was going on. His one hand going up to ruffle Venom's hair in almost a playful way. Kaz was high on the notion of his next interrogation and it made him giddy.
"D-Dog will be with me," Venom thought it strange for Kaz to be… silly? But he let himself believe today was just one of those good days. Kaz had been having many of those lately and they made Venom happy.
"I'll walk with you to the helipad," Kaz took Venom's hand and squeezed it in a loving gesture. The corners of Venom's mouth curved up in the smallest of smiles. Kaz couldn't get enough of this man's smiles, and he knew he was the only person on the entire Motherbase that was allowed to see them. Another quick kiss on Venom's forehead before they broke apart.
Kaz took his cane and limped out the door Venom held open for him. They made their way slowly to the helipad in a comfortable silence. Kaz watched in a longing sadness as Venom jumped into the chopper with D-Dog and was off.
—-
Venom was gone and Kaz hobbled to the interrogation room. He saw Ocelot on his way to the Animal Conservation Platform, so he knew he wouldn't be spied upon for a while. His skin buzzed, feeling as though it were on fire with excitement as he stepped into the familiar interrogation room.
Doom Crab sat in the chair with a black hood over his head. It gave Kaz some flashbacks of his time before Venom found him and that caused a faint buzzing in his ears. He took off his sunglasses and set them down tenderly near the one sided mirror for safety. Kaz found he could actually see better without the glasses when he was in this room. He took off his trench coat for… better momentum.
He was a changed man when he was performing these rehabilitation techniques. It always took a few moments, but when the first splatters of blood hit his skin, he no longer had a limp nor a phantom pain. Kaz was whole for those moments. His arm was back and his body was repaired. He knew what it was. He was aware of what happened to him in Afghanistan even if he was in denial of his infection.
Kaz leaned his cane against the door and stood in silence, watching Doom Crab. The man had been rated A+ in most categories, A++ in combat and a sad C in R&D. Yet here he sat for constant harassment. He quite literally gave other staff PTSD even when they were never deployed or saw action. Kaz didn't know how he hadn't dispose of this trash sooner.
His limp was heavy and loud without his cane and Doom Crab jerked his head towards the sound as it got closer.
"You gonna off me like the rest of them?!" His voice betrayed his fear. Kaz reached forward to yank the hood off the soldier. Doom Crab was bald with an angry look in his eyes. Brown hair surrounded his mouth making him look like he belonged in some bad porn.
"The cleaning crew talks of all the blood in here!" He was struggling, pulling at the binds at his wrists. Kaz hadn't even made a move towards him but he could almost taste the fear in the room.
"Pull harder," Kaz's voice was soft, almost like he was soothing the soldier. "Break your wrists so I don't have to." His white eyes stared into Doom Crab's brown eyes. Doom Crab stopped struggling, confusion written on his face.
"It's really a good thing you've been dismissed. You're awful at withstanding torture and I haven't even touched you yet." Kaz's fingers itched to dig them into the soft flesh in front of him. Instead, he took off his beret and tossed it over near his coat. He turned away and worked at the few buttons on his blazer to take it off. He had found he needed to let his skin breathe to get the most benefit from the session. Hell, he even slipped off his shoes and socks. No need to walk with blood sloshing around in them.
Once he was down to his button up shirt, loose tie, and slacks, he turned back to Doom Crab.
"Let's begin," a small hunting knife was in his hand, his eyes on fire and beginning to clear back to their original hazel; empty sleeve untied and loose. A solemn look upon his face as the first slice of his knife hit a minor artery.
—-
Venom laid on his stomach, looking through his binoculars, tagging men. For a moment he missed Quiet's ability to swiftly infiltrate a base and almost instantly tag all enemies. It had saved him quite a bit of time.
D-Dog was prowling around, sniffing out anything that might be a potential threat to his owner. Venom had been scouting out the base for a solid hour, moving from position to position to get as many men as he could tagged so there would be no surprises. He was four hours into the actual mission itself.
"Boss," Ocelot's voice spoke into his ear. Venom clicked the iDroid in acknowledgment.
"You need to come back to base. I've already sent Pequod to the nearest LZ for pick up." Ocelot sounded collected.
"The mission-"
"It's him, Boss." Ocelot cut Venom off. Something no one dared to do. He was a man of few words, so when he spoke he was heard. But Venom was already up and crouch running towards the LZ.
Kaz.
—-
Ocelot was at the landing platform when Venom jumped out of the chopper. "He's lost it, Boss." They both made their way towards the security platform, Ocelot leading the way.
"What happened?"
"More like what's happening. We've sealed off the floor he's on but no one can get through to him." Ocelot lead Venom into a room full of monitors. He spared a glance at the Boss before clicking one on.
Venom had to squint at the screen before he could understand what was on it. Kaz stood in the middle of the room. His back was towards the camera but Venom could tell it was him. A body lay on the ground tossed to the side, blood in a large pool around it. Another person was seemingly at the mercy of this Kaz he watched.
This Kaz… had two arms and stood with his back straight. This Kaz stood barefoot in the puddle of blood formed by the first body. His sleeves were rolled up, and his pant legs were rolled as high as they could go. The dark color of blood covering most of his skin on his legs and arms. Arms. Two arms.
"Are you sure this is Kaz?" Venom had to ask. He knew the answer, but he still had to ask.
"Yes. This is Kazuhira Miller. One of the Commanders on Motherbase." Ocelot confirmed, in an overly formal way.
Eyes on Kazuhira. A message from the parasites. Code Talker had eerily eluded to something wrong with Kaz, but Venom brushed it off as some parasite trance the old man was in. Venom brought his metal fist down on the table in anger. If only he hadn't been so naive and too fucking busy to pay attention to his Kaz. The table splintered under his wrath and he turned swiftly.
"I'm going in."
—-
Venom stood outside the door, gathering his will and strength to face what he knew would be one of the hardest moments of his life. It was almost like he could sense the end was nearing for him… or for Kaz. He knew what he had to do. His fists clenched and unclenched.
Groaning came from the other side of the door. His soldiers knew better than to scream during torture, but he knew whatever was happening was horrendous. Venom took a deep breath before opening the door quietly. Still in his sneak suit, he could slip into the room silently.
The room was musty and damp and it almost choked Venom. He could finally see the details the monitor had not shown him. Fingernails and toenails were littered through the room. The soldier on the ground was… flayed. Strips of skin laid around Kaz's standing form. If Venom hadn't already had years of gore buried into his skull, he probably would have retched.
Somehow this wasn't the worst part of what was happening. The worst part: Kaz was singing under his breath. He was enjoying his work.
"Well you burst out the scene already a legend," The last fingernail from the soldier in front of him popped off.
"The unwashed phenomenon," Kaz reached up to run his hand across the pained soldier's face.
"The original vagabond," His new hand's fingernails sharpened into claws and he sunk them into the soldier's cheek, dragging them downwards.
"You strayed into my arms," Kaz crouched to begin his work on the boots of the soldier, pulling them off roughly. Venom's heart squeezed tightly in his chest. He knew this song. It was their song
"And there you stayed," the soldier's shoulders and head were hunched forward and his body was shaking. Venom couldn't tell if it was shaking from fear, shock, or pain. Maybe all of the above.
"Temporarily lost at sea," Neither of them noticed Venom still, and he was glad for it. He had to see what was actually happening with his own eyes. His Kaz. His Kaz was doing this. His Kaz was… infected.
"Kazuhira Miller." When Venom finally spoke, his voice was deep. It was a mixture of pain for his partner and a commanding officer's authoritative tone. He couldn't figure out what he wanted to do yet; how he wanted to play this game he had walked in on.
Kaz stopped his work for a moment. He didn't turn around before going back to plucking another toenail off. Almost to the last one.
"Venom," There was a slight edge to his voice. Kaz moved one of his feet to push the blood on the ground around, obviously trying to make sure it wouldn't dry any time soon. It had been a long time since Kaz called him Boss so it was a slight relief that Kaz had some cognitive ability left.
"Stop." The order was given, yet the crouched blonde did not stop. He didn't stop until the last toenail was off. Venom thought by now the soldier was silently crying; the way his shoulders hitched.
Kaz stood and finally turned to face Venom. He stood tall, shoulders back, legs straight; almost like he used to stand in Costa Rica when he was reporting to Big Boss. With anyone else Venom would have seen his insubordination as earning himself time in the brig.
Kaz's face was splattered with blood and his eyes… his eyes. The hazel was back in them and they were uncovered from his typical sunglasses. Venom had grown to love his cloudy white eyes, but the hazel felt like a punch to the gut.
"What are you doing?!" Venom growled at Kaz. Kaz looked to be about ten years younger. His brand new arm was a darker shade of skin, as if it was completely made of scar tissue.
"I'm surviving," Kaz swiftly moved behind the chair his victim was on. The soldier hadn't looked up, most likely praying that this be the end of his torture.
It was a vague and frustrating answer for Venom. Isn't that what they all were doing?
"But to raise your weapon against your family?" Venom looked down at the soldier on the ground. "To do this?!"
"He's garbage!" Kaz's voice raised and the tell-tale sign of a parasite infection appeared around his eyes. The splotchy faded black appeared, all too similar to Quiet's infection. The green in his hazel eyes flashed bright. "They deserved this! They brought harm to their fellow soldiers! They've been dismissed!"
"So you dismiss them." Venom's voice sounded broken. "Not dismember them."
Silence followed as Kaz almost hid behind the soldier, as far away from Venom as he could be in the interrogation room. Venom didn't bother to get closer. If he did, he risked the lives of everyone in the room. He had no idea what this Kaz would do.
"I need this," he hissed. "I need this to be whole. It's how they survive. It's how I'm me again."
"How long have you been infected?" It was another question Venom knew the answer to already. Kaz ripped his gaze from Venom to look at the blood dripping from the soldier's fingers. His jaw clenched.
"Since I was captured in Afghanistan." Kaz reached out to wipe a finger across the soldier's bloody cheek. He licked the blood off his finger. "I was a test subject for the Japanese strain and it went wrong and I was turned into this.
"I hid from it for a long time. The parasites weakened and my body deteriorated. They don't die because I can't seem to just die already." Kaz took a sharpened claw to the back of the man's neck and slowly sunk it in the skin right above a vertebrae. The soldier jerked forward in his chair and let out a howl of pain.
"Kaz, stop!" Venom took a step forward, hand going for the gun on his hip. Kaz finally looked up to Venom.
"Do it." Kaz pushed the nail deeper. "Do it because this won't stop! I can't stop! They've tasted blood!"
"You don't want this." Venom took another step forward and reached out lamely as if to stop Kaz somehow like this.
"I do though," His claw was through the skin and he hooked it in the muscle before pulling roughly out. "They want this." Fresh blood splattered out from the gash in the soldier's neck and covered the old dried blood already on Kaz. A gross smile was on his face.
Venom drew his gun but didn't really point it at Kaz. He just held it. Could he really pull the trigger on his partner? He knew Ocelot was watching on the monitor, but he couldn't care if that Russian cowboy saw his weakness.
Kaz's clawed hand grabbed at this man's hair and yanked his neck back, earning another howl of pain as the gash was crushed between skin folds. The hunting knife, being Kaz's only real weapon at the moment, was quickly at the man's throat.
"I'll kill them all, Venom." The faded black around Kaz's eyes deepened to a pitch black; an all consuming vacuum of space. "They demand I do it, so I will." The knife dug deep. The soldier's eyes finally held Venom's single eye. And it sliced. It sliced deep and long across his neck.
"B-Boss!" The soldier sputtered out, choking and drowning on his own blood. It spilled out of his neck and simultaneously filled his lungs. Venom snarled and finally aimed the gun directly at Kaz, but Kaz was too busy to notice. Kaz had taken his original hand and cupped it under the fall of blood. He brought the handful of blood up and poured it over his head. Those sinister bright green eyes captured and held Snake's. The blood dripped and ran across his face.
"Why are you doing this?!" Venom's strong voice broke. The rest of the unspoken sentence was heard by both of them. Why are you doing this to me?
"They," Kaz plunged the knife into the warm corpse.
"Need," He pulled out the knife and dug it in again.
"This," And again. And again. Venom stood by, still consumed in his weakness. Blood was everywhere. It was all over Venom from the stabbing and it was all over Kaz and Venom's mind just… went blank. He couldn't handle it anymore. The needless killing of his soldiers. His family. His family killing his own family? His… His Kazuhira killing his soldiers. Their soldiers.
Finally he could do it. Kaz was standing over the body in the chair, repeatedly stabbing it and Venom aimed and pulled. Admittedly, he still couldn't bring himself to really finish the job. The bullet hit Kaz's shoulder and went through. Kaz's own blood splattered and mixed in with both the soldier's blood. It didn't even seem to phase him though. He didn't stop his brutal mutilation.
Black and green parasites came out of his body like demonic fireflies to heal the area Venom had just shot. Kaz's eyes were wild and the black on his face was constantly moving, similar to a rorschach. Venom pulled the trigger again, this time grazing Kaz's neck. The parasites moved quickly to heal that section.
"They won't let me die, V," Kaz let out a crazed laugh. He pulled the knife out one last time and flung it at Venom, which was easily dodged. In that moment, Kaz made a break for the door. Venom had to completely spin around to get a grasp on the blonde's wrist and yank him away from the door. Venom pulled him into his arms, pulling Kaz in a chokehold.
"I can't let you kill more," Venom wasn't putting enough pressure on Kaz to do any damage, just enough to hold his head still. Kaz's hands immediately went up to claw at Venom's arm, drawing more blood at the scratching. More blood.
"I can't go back to what I was!" Kaz's choked voice shouted as loud as it could. "I was a weak thing!"
"Kaz…" Venom was good at ignoring pain. He had decades of practice, so he just rest his forehead against Kaz's shoulder. "Don't make me…"
A sharp claw dug in particularly hard into Venom's forearm, hitting bone. It only caused Venom to apply more pressure on Kaz's windpipes. A flurry of parasites spurted out from his neck, actively working to repair the constant damage being caused.
"Let me go!" They both heard the underlying plead from Kaz. Venom couldn't bear the thought of choking the last bits of life out of his partner. But he knew. He knew before he walked into the room he had to do it. He had sensed the end of his happiness was this moment.
"As you wish," Venom whispered and pulled hard, entirely blocking Kaz's throat. Gasps and the loud buzz of the parasites filled Venom's being. He was nothing in this moment. The writhing body against him was nothing. This was the ultimate test and he was pushed to the limit of being.
"We both could have died then and there," Venom whispered the rest of their song in his ear as the body in his arms finally stopped moving; the life in it slipping away. Venom sank to the floor, holding Kaz tight in his arms. The parasites around the body in a black and green panic to try and fix whatever they could.
Venom knew Kaz would just come back. He would come back and this would have to start over again. Venom slid his own body across the ground and into a corner, pushing his back against the wall. Kaz's lifeless body resting on his chest, between his legs, unmoving.
It only took minutes before Kaz's fingers twitched back to life and Venom closed his eye, dreading what was to come next.
A/N: CLIFF HANGER BECAAAAUSE this is a two chapter story. Next chapter amps up the angst and I hope you are all ready for that because I sure am not.
Diamonds and Rust by Joan Baez was on repeat as I wrote this so naturally that's the song they're singing.