A/N: Yay, first PD fic for me! Plenty of spoilers for the eighth book, you've been warned. Also, for those who aren't familiar with my stories, I'm going to warn you that I'm not reliable as far as updates. I write as I go. Sorry about that, but please enjoy anyway!

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing you recognize.

PS: Did anyone notice that Fat Louie was barely mentioned in this book? Or did I just miss it?

Princess on the Rebound

Saturday, September 11, 2 a.m., the loft

I couldn't sleep. I mean, could YOU sleep if the WORLD HAD ENDED?

Well, no one could, because technically sleep would be non existent, because no one would be around to do it. Or anything, really, but that's so not the point here.

Michael is probably in Japan right now, hooking up with some geisha girl because his horrible girlfriend went crazy. And if he isn't there yet, then he's probably thinking about Doing It with some stewardess on the plane who doesn't still have her Precious Gift, and would be totally okay with him having 'messed around' with Judith Gershner, The Girl Who Can Clone Fruit Flies. I can just imagine it now…

MICHAEL ON THE WAY TO JAPAN

A brief Scene by Mia Thermopolis

MICHAEL, a nineteen-year-old boy with dark hair, peat-bog colored eyes, and a wonderful smelling neck is sitting in the aisle seat of a plane on its way to Japan from New York. Based on MICHAEL's expression, we can tell he's just had a revelation.

MICHAEL: I can't believe I ever wasted my time on someone so completely insane. (MICHAEL's girlfriend, sixteen-year-old MIA)

A STUARDESS walks down the aisle, pushing a cart covered with drinks and half-eaten plates of food. When she gets to MICHAEL's aisle, she stops.

STUARDESS: (grinning) May I take your tray, sir?"

MICHAEL hands her the tray while looking her up and down.

MICHAEL: Tell me, would you be upset because your boyfriend lost his Precious Gift to a Girl Who Can Clone Fruit Flies (JUDITH GERSHNER) before you were dating and didn't tell you about it?

STUARDESS: That depends. Did I ask you if you had lost your Precious Gift?

MICHAEL: No, you just assumed I still had my Precious Gift, and we would Do It on prom night and give our Precious Gifts to each other.

STUARDESS: Of course I wouldn't, because I hadn't asked.

MICHAEL pushes the cart down the aisle and grabs hold of the STUARDESS. They passionately Do It in the aisle seat of the plane.

End of Scene

Well, now I'm really sick. I hope I don't throw up again. That would make three times. After seeing Beauty and the Beast with J.P., we went out to McDonald's and I ate about four quarter pounders (with cheese) and chased it with an Oreo flurry. Lars had to ask Hans to pull over, because someone moved the barf bags in the limo and I couldn't find them.

I don't think all the meat and ice cream in the world and three million Beauty and the Beast showings could make me feel any better. Although it was nice of J.P. to try. Especially considering at the moment he and Tina Hakim Baba are my best friends, because a certain person who usually occupies that spot in my life has refused to return any of my calls since that one when she told me she won the election.

Maybe if someone wasn't so stubborn, they might be more willing to listen to J.P.'s and my side of the story. It was a total accident. I mean, I was just so overtaken with emotion and gratitude that there was one person on my side that I felt a hug didn't express my gratitude as much as a PECK on the CHEEK. And it wasn't even J.P.'s fault, either. He probably just had a mouth twitch, or something, that made his lips accidentally turn towards mine. Besides, there wasn't any tongue or anything.

Whatever, if Lily wants to be that way then that's just fine. I can go to my new best friends for advice. (Except I won't be asking J.P. about some things, because he IS a guy, even if he's really nice and makes me laugh, there are just some things you don't ask guys about because they probably couldn't answer anyway.) I think I'm just going to have to extend that whole 'let's not mention either Moscovitzes for tonight' thing, only now I won't be mentioning either Moscovitz ever.

Unless by some miracle Lily realizes that J.P. does not like me more than a friend and the kiss was an accident.

Or if Michael ever forgives me.

Saturday, September 11, 2:13 a.m., the loft

I am not crying because of anyone with the last initial 'M'.

Saturday, September 11, 2:14 a.m., the loft

I was just scared because Fat Louie made the 'I swallowed a sock' sound. He's okay, he was just coughing up a hairball… but still, it was a big shock.

I think I need more tissues…

Saturday, September 11, 4 p.m., the loft

I broke my vow to myself by about noon. I was watching Lifetime and trying to block out Rocky's pot-and-pan orchestra when Tina called me to check up on how I was doing. She wanted to ask what I had been doing yesterday when I bailed on the Assembly at the last minute. I told her about how I had taken Ephrain Kleinschmidt's cab to the airport, and how I had used Genovia's money to buy Lars and myself a ticket to Japan in hopes I could reach Michael before he left.

"Mia! That's even more romantic than when you were going to give him one beautiful memory to last him during his time in Japan!"

"Yeah, Tina, it would have been if it hadn't ended with me bursting in just when the plane took off and having to be picked up off the floor of the airport, bawling in front of all those people."

"Oh, Mia, I'm so sorry."

"Thanks, Tina." I said, feeling my eyes well a little. Tina is such a great friend. She would never abandon me when my heart was broken. My chest still burns a little, like the jagged pieces of my shattered heart are still in there, still smashed. I guess at least I've still got a heart. Would it be worse if I was completely numb?

"Why didn't you call me?"

That's a good question. Maybe if I had called Tina first instead of calling back Lily, Lily might have had enough time to cool off and realize she was making a mistake by assuming things. I, of course, have some experience in the dangers of making assumptions.

Then again, had I gone over to Tina's for comfort and advice, I would have missed out on a chance to see Beauty and the Beast and hang out with J.P.

"Well, Lily left a message and I had to call her back first, because I needed to know what happened at the Assembly. And then she told me, about her being president and she said she didn't need me to be her vice-president or her friend, and that maybe we'd been friends for too long."

"Just because you left early to go after her brother, who you love? If she doesn't value your or her brother's happiness, then maybe you're better off, Mia."

I paused here. I had made myself out to be the heroine by mistake. I was the ACCIDENTAL cheater-on-Michael-with-my-best-friends-ex-boyfriend. Which was accidental, completely.

"Um, Tina, there's more than that… I kind of left out the part where after chemistry the day he broke up with Lily, J.P. and I were going to hug because he was being nice and on my side, but instead we kissed, by mistake, and I turned around and right there was Michael, and apparently Kenny Showalter was hanging around because he saw too and told Lily." I said this in a quiet anxious tone, and it all came out rushed.

And of course that little tidbit had Tina gasping with shock. Then she started talking about this one book she read called Accidentally Intentionally, where the girl is in love with this jock, and then one day she's depressed because he hates her and called her a loser and this guy friend she has feels so bad he surprises her. They drive to the beach and they watch the sunset and she starts to cry because he went to so much trouble for her, so then she kisses him, but they agree it means nothing. After a while, according to Tina, the girl realizes that somehow she fell in love with him by mistake, and she knows he doesn't feel the same way because they both said the kiss meant nothing. In the end, the jock asks her out, and she becomes his girlfriend even though she's pining for her friend.

"That's a terrible ending for a book, Tina." I thought of how it would feel to be with someone other than Michael. I don't think I could do it. I would be pining for him just like the girl from the book. No one has a neck that smells like his, and no one could make me feel as happy. I sat down and pulled Fat Louie onto my lap, petting his soft fur for comfort.

"No, it's not! Because even though they don't realize it, they both feel the same way. They stay friends, even though it's hard to be around each other because they're secretly in love with each other. It's beautiful!"

"Yeah, whatever Tina. I don't see how this relates to me and J.P. kissing. I mean, it was probably just a lip twitch or something, like that actress from Bewitched had."

"A lip twitch?" Tina asked doubtfully.

"Oh yeah, I know tons of people who twitch sometimes. J.P.'s just another one to add to the list. Besides, I think before the lights went out during Beauty and the Beast, I saw his mouth move a little."

"You went to see a play with him?"

"Yeah, just after Lily called he did, and he said his dad could get us tickets because he's a producer. Then he took me too McDonald's for quarter pounders." I explained, absentmindedly scratching Fat Louie's ear.

Then Tina got all quiet, and for a minute I thought the call might have got cut off like on all those commercials. But I sort of wish it did get cut of, because I'd rather not have heard what she said next.

"Mia, I think you went on a date with J.P."

I was so surprised that I scratched too hard, and Fat Louie pawed at my hand before taking off, tail raised high. Is there anyone who isn't going to cause me grief today?

I told Tina how crazy she was being, and that she was starting to sound like Lily. Then I had to go because Grandmére called the house phone and Mom picked up. I couldn't tell what she was saying, but of course it was something offensive, and I could see Mom's face sliding from 'I hope she just hangs up soon' to 'I can't believe this self-absorbed, ignorant, insane creature is related to my daughter'.

Maybe that's where I got my crazy from. Insanity is hereditary, isn't it?

Monday, September 12, the limo

This is so, so awkward. I'm in the limo on the way to pick Lily up! Yes, Lily Moscovitz, my former best friend who is not talking to me. She asked me to!

I checked my messages this morning as I was getting ready, hoping to find a reply to my message for Michael. There weren't any. I checked to make sure that it had gone through. Maybe he just hasn't had time to check his email, on account of him entering a new hemisphere and all. Or maybe, just maybe, he saw me before the plane took off, through the window. Maybe he was so touched by my sobs and romantic gesture that he forgives me, and he didn't have time to email me because he went straight to work on his robotic arm, so he could come back to me all the more sooner!

Who am I kidding?

Michael hates me. And even though I love him and miss him and really wish Dad would let me take the jet to Japan so I could burst into the robotics lab and apologize in person, I'm not sure I've entirely forgiven him. But still, I really hope he saw me through that airport window.

Even though there wasn't one from her brother, I did find a message from Lily that said CALL ME. So, being the good person that I am, I did call back. Here's what was said:

"Hello?"

"Hi, Lily. It's me, Mia. I got your message."

"Good, because I need you to pick me up in the limo this morning."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" I asked her hopefully.

"No, of course not. I just need the car space for all my charts and graphs. I'm going to use them to show my new cabinet the numbers from last year, and how terrible the student government did."

I wanted to point out that she was my vice president, and most of what we did was her ideas, which led to bankruptcy. And when we did get the cash back, it was because of what my grandmother did for fundraising. She just wanted to use Fat Louie's Pink Butthole.

But I knew if I said that, she'd just get angry. "Um, okay. I'll be there at the same time as before."

"Fine," she said, followed by a click.

Most people wouldn't have come. They would have been like, 'I'll only do this if you forgive me.' But I know that Lily and I are both not completely normal, and if I had said something like that she would have started going on about how I was being all manipulative and committing extortion. Then she'd say that the UN would have to keep an eye on Genovia when I came into power, because if I was willing to extort my (ex-)best friend at the young age of sixteen, then obviously I would grow up to rule a country just as bad as the ones where they throw rocks at girls who commit adultery.

I doubt I would ever be that terrible of a ruler, but still. Being called a potential failure at running a country could seriously endanger the minute amount of self-actualization I've achieved.

Besides, I'm kind of hoping that once Grandmére kicks the bucket, Dad will take over and live for a really, really long time, and I will be like fifty before I even have to rule, with kids of my own, like in England. Then I could just rule for like a year and hand the throne over to my oldest kid. Or if I have no children then, because I am so depressed from seeing news clips about Michael and his famous robotic arm and have not gotten married, then I can just give it to Sebastiano. I'm sure he'd love the chance to make a law where everyone in Genovia has to keep up with the latest fashions.

Oh great, we're here, and there's Lily. I'll write more later.

A/N: Loved it? Hated it? Have constructive criticism? REVIEW!! ...Please?