It wasn't meant to be like this. He kept telling himself over and over it was a mistake, that he hadn't meant it, but he knew he had done it, he'd planned it.
Yet it wasn't meant to end like this. His Batsy wasn't meant to fall so easily, to just lay there as a crimson pool formed around him. He was meant to swing in and stop him, drag him back to Arkham while he giggled madly.
Joker curled into himself and let out a wailing cry that died into half-hearted giggles, rocking back and forth as tears began to run down his porcelain cheeks
No. This was never meant to end at all. Not with Batman's death, not with Joker's. Joker couldn't be without his Batsy, and he liked to think the Dark Knight needed him. They were two sides of the same coin, like Ying and Yang.
Joker stopped rocking and crawled forward until he was over the Bat. He touched the body gingerly, telling himself that Batsy was just faking, trying to fool him. He let out another wail as he felt no beat under the flesh, how cold the masked vigilante's skin was.
"Batsy, please. I didn't mean it. I never meant it. Just get up and I'll be good. I'll stay in Arkham and I'll be good."
Batman didn't move and Joker broke down. Falling on the body he kissed his Batsy's cheeks, like it could take back what he had done, to show how much he actually cared. Finally he could do no more than let out choking sobs, broken only by the occasional giggle.
No matter how much he wanted to, he could never take what he had done back. Even if it wasn't meant to be like this, it was done and it was permanent. The Joker had killed Batman, plain and simple.
And the world just wasn't funny anymore.