I don't own these characters- they belong to Stephenie Meyer. This is my first attempt at fan fiction. Hope you enjoy it! Leave me some feedback below!
What the FUCK, Paul? I growled as I pushed his heavy paws off of my chest.
You knocked the wind out of me, asshole. You know this is just training, right?
Ha ha ha. Well if you took it more seriously, Sam would back off and not make this training mandatory. But if you keeping fucking around, I'm gonna make it hurt. This is as annoying for me as it is for you, Leah.
I fucking doubt it.
Hey, ease up, you two. Now. The double command from Alpha Sam-neither of us could ignore it.
Ever since Jake got hurt trying to "protect" me from that disgusting newborn, Sam had made daily fight training mandatory. Every day we were paired with a different partner and we had to practice for at least two hours before he was satisfied. It wasn't so bad when I got to train with Seth, my little brother, or even Embry or Quil. At least they made training fun. But being paired with Paul was a special kind of torture. He never eased up; he was always such a bastard. Even though I could outrun him any day, his power was undeniable and he would always find a way to get me on the ground. It was embarrassing to say the least. But mostly he was just infuriating.
It's not like it was easy being the only girl wolf in a pack full of bull-headed boys. I had to suffer through Sam leaving me for Emily, and now I was FOREVER subjected to his thoughts when I phased. Ugh, there aren't words to describe THAT special hell. But at least Sam understood enough to let me be and tried to keep his thoughts to himself when we were phased. Paul, on the other hand, was a fucking asshole every single day. His favorite game was "let's see what I can do to piss Leah off today" and on most days, it worked. He got under my skin like a mite and chewed away at my sanity until I freaked out and tried to rip his head off. But even though I didn't like to admit it, he was stronger than me and he would always pin me to the ground and laugh in my face.
And today was no exception. I took a deep breath and felt my lungs burn where Paul had stomped on me. It's a good thing I heal fast because the bruises that would cover my body surely would look suspicious to an outsider. I can just imagine trying to explain that to Social Services. "No, really, I'm not being abused. I just have a lot of older brothers and they play rough." Ha. I really wish there was a way out from this fucked up situation. Frozen in time, no aging, no changing, just stuck in La Push, always hounded by these boys, forced to relive the agony of Sam leaving me for my damn cousin every day.
When was it going to be MY turn? When was I going to have a chance to be "normal" or at least a little more female? I was really getting tired of being treated like a boy. I used to really enjoy being a girl. Doing my hair and nails, wearing dresses, dreaming about my wedding day and all that shit. Now I'm just frozen in time, forever forced to be "just one of the guys" and they wonder why I'm so damn bitter. They didn't have to give up anything. Well, no one did but Jake, but I'm not touching that mess right now.
Leah, get up. We're going again. Paul's growling voice in my head made the hair stand up on the back of my neck.
Fine, whatever, I'm up. Let's go. Paul took off to the left, up the massive hill of evergreens and I bolted after him. I quickly caught up to him, but again he knocked me on my ass and I rolled down the hill, almost to the same spot where we had just been standing.
Ow. Fuck this. I'm done. Sam, I need a break.
Okay, Leah. That's enough for today.
I stood up and shook off the dirt and leaves that were sticking to me, walked behind a tree out of sight and phased back into my human form.
Almost before I had my t-shirt pulled over my head, Paul was standing in front of me with a huge asshole smirk smeared across his angular face. God, I really wanted to punch him right now, but I knew it wouldn't do me any good.
"Still can't handle me, huh, Leah? I told you I'd kick your ass. I don't care how fast you are." Paul crossed his huge arms across his chest and I spit on the ground in his direction.
"Fucking Neanderthal. You keep this shit up, I'll be shocked if you ever find a girl stupid enough to sleep with you." I pushed him out of my way and started walking back toward my house.
"With a mouth like that, you have about as much of a chance of finding someone as I do."
"Fuck off, Paul" I cursed over my shoulder, but something in Paul's expression made me turn around. I was still furious, but he looked like he needed to say something.
He took a deep breath and looked down at the ground. He never looked down. He was always the first one to phase and it took him forever just to deal with his anger enough to stop blowing out all of his clothes. God, he must have spent a fortune on t-shirts. But what the hell was he doing?
"Maybe if you opened your eyes, you'd see you've got a good thing right in front of you. Come on, Leah- let me take you out." Paul dropped his arms to his sides and held his palms up, symbolizing a truce.
"After you kicked the shit out of me? What kind of masochistic bitch do you think I am?" I started walking away from this insanely weird situation, begging for anyone to phase out and tell Paul to get away from me before I ripped his balls off.
"That's just training, Leah. Seriously, let's go get some food," Paul was actually pleading now. It was revolting. I actually gagged.
"You destroyed my appetite. Later." I picked up my pace into a slow jog, trying to get away from the uncomfortable situation of Paul being nice after he beat me repeatedly.
If I had a friend, I would call her right now. What the hell was Paul thinking? He had to know that the pack was going to find out he asked me out. What would Sam think? Ugh, why do I even give a shit what Sam would think. He left me for my cousin. This is really starting to get lonely. I can't talk to Seth about boys, even though he is the best little brother any girl could ask for, and he was always so upbeat about everything. Sometimes he made my heartache over Sam almost forgivable. Almost.
I guess I could call Emily, but Sam was probably home already and I really didn't want to have to explain anything to him.
Fuck this. I need to do something- anything- to get out of my damned head. I looked at the clock- 7 pm on a Saturday. Where could I find girls my own age that would be willing to make a new friend? Oh wow, this is so embarrassingly desperate.
It's not that I was always such a loner. I used to have a lot of friends at school when Sam and I were together. I even participated in some after-school stuff, teaching younger kids how to speak and write Quileute. I was sunny, even. A lot like Seth is now. But ever since Sam left me for Emily, I pulled into myself a lot. I didn't realize how much I relied on him for my happiness. I know now that it probably wasn't a healthy relationship, but that didn't make it hurt any less. After I phased, any chance at an outside friendship was nearly impossible. I couldn't tell anyone about it, and we were always running the border, checking for those wretched leeches, strategizing and training. I only slept about 4 hours a night, and I often found myself passed out on the couch in all of my clothes with the TV still on. I was having a hard time finding a job doing anything, mostly because I never knew when I'd be around to work. I managed to make a few bucks here and there doing some chores for the older tribe members, but even that wasn't on a regular basis. It's not like it helped me meet any people my own age, either.
Whatever. I need to get out of here, even if it's only for a few hours. I scribbled a note for Mom and Seth, "I took the car. I'm headed into Forks for a little while. Just need to clear my head. XO Leah"
I opened my closet to find something that didn't make me look like I just rolled out of a ditch (because, honestly, I sort of just did). I threw on a pair of worn in jeans, a turquoise colored t-shirt, and my black flats. I ran a brush through my short hair (God, I missed my hair) and smeared a little lip gloss on my lips. I tried to crack a smile in the mirror that didn't make me look like a homicidal maniac, but it wasn't easy. I guess I just did furious better than any other emotion these days. I shook my head at my reflection, grabbed the keys to the beat up old Lincoln and hopped to the door.
I was actually feeling good about myself for about two seconds when I looked up at the car and saw exactly who I did not want to see leaning against the hood of my car with a huge smirk on his asshole face. Paul. What. The. Fuck.
"Hey…um…damn, Leah…you look…hot," Paul stumbled over every word that he tried to speak. This dude was certifiable.
"Whatever, Paul. Get your ass off my car," I spat back. I wondered for a second where he managed to find a clean shirt and a pair of jeans that weren't covered in dirt. I crossed my arms across my chest and waited for him to move. He didn't. But he wasn't looking me in the eye again, and that had me freaking out a little bit.
"Leah, um, well, I, um, I just thought, um…" He was seriously having some kind of brain fart. I had never seen him sweat like this. I also never noticed how perfect his cheekbones cut across his face- or how his brow furrowed in concentration. What the hell was I thinking? This is Paul, Leah. Remember? He's the same guy who threw you down a mountain a few short hours ago.
"Spit it out, Paul. I want to go out," I was in no mood to stand here and watch him fumble all over himself.
"Where you going? Why don't I go with you?" He finally managed to form a complete thought, and I still wanted to kick him in the shins for making me stand here when I wanted to go. Now.
"Jesus, Paul, I'm going into Forks. I just need a break from the Rez for a few hours." I can't believe I just gave in and told him that. Where was the gall, Leah?
"Well take me with you. I really want to talk to you," the words rushed out of Paul so fast it was as if they were burning his tongue and he couldn't spit them out fast enough.
"You know what, fine. Get in. I'm so tired of fighting." I guess if you are going to give in, Paul isn't the worst option. Damn near, but still, not the worst. And against my better judgment, I couldn't help but notice how his shirt hugged the muscles across his chest just right. Gah, what was he doing to my brain?
Paul leapt at the chance and was in the passenger seat of the Lincoln before I could even get to the driver's side.
"What the hell is up with you, Paul? Are you okay?" Why was I asking? Why did I even care?
"Yeah, it's just, I've been trying to talk to you alone all day and I just don't know where to even start," again, so fast I could barely understand him.
"Well, why don't you just keep it to yourself for a few minutes? We are going to the diner. And if you are making me take you, you're paying for both of us." There you are, Leah. Hold your own. Don't let him break you so easily.
"Sure, of course. I'll shut up now." Then, he actually stopped talking. I was shocked. Paul never listened to me. Never, not once in all these months together, hating each other, fighting and battling, did he ever listen to me when I asked for something.
What the hell was happening? Did I even want to know? I shook my head and turned up the radio.
I can keep secrets that I know that you want me
You could dig your nails into my skin and you won't stop me
You could twist and scream into the air but no one can hear you here
The Bravery shouted out the lyrics to one of my favorite songs, but when I realized who was sitting next to me, I quickly changed the station. Those lyrics were a little too hardcore for a night out with Paul. Or maybe they weren't. I shook my head trying to stop those weird thoughts from creeping in and silently thanked God that Paul couldn't read my mind when we weren't phased.
We got to the diner in about ten minutes, and it was jumping for Forks. Jumping meaning there were about twenty people in the whole place, including the wait staff and the cooks. I chose a booth in the corner away from the other customers and Paul slid in the bench seat across from me. He still wasn't looking me in the eye, and it was starting to freak me out.
"Paul, why won't you look at me?" I asked, trying to sound tough, but it came out with way too much anxiety and I sounded like a nervous girlfriend. There it goes again! Shut it, brain, or heart, whatever it is that keeps noticing Paul's perfect mouth and gorgeous, smooth, brown skin.
"I'm sorry, Leah. It's just-"
"Hi, I'm Liz. What can I get you two tonight?" The waitress cut Paul off and I was secretly glad that he seemed so nervous. Served him right for all those times he really hurt me during training.
"I'll have a coke and a bacon cheeseburger-medium-with fries." I didn't even have to look at the menu. The diner made a great burger.
"And for you, sir?"
I chuckled when the waitress called Paul "sir." I couldn't help myself.
"I'll have the same." I tilted my head and looked at him again. His eyes sparkled in the harsh diner lights and his mouth curved up at the corners like he was laughing at his own private joke. I felt like I was looking at him for the first time. It was shocking how attractive he was and as I looked around the diner I noticed a table full of girls a little younger than me gawking at him. They weren't even trying to hide how hard they were staring. My knee-jerk reaction would have been to tell them to piss off and leave us alone, but I was secretly enjoying the attention and I was actually feeling a little smug that he was here with me.
"So, you were saying?" I casually gestured with my hand and laid it on the table. Paul slowly put his hand down on top of mine and I tried to pull away, but he held on a little tighter than I normally would have allowed. I sighed, but we were in public and I didn't feel like making a scene, so I let his hand rest there.
"Leah. I don't know how to say this." Paul blushed. No kidding, full on red cheeks and all. I wanted to run out of the diner and get in the car and never turn back. But I had to let him finish. That and he pretty much had my hand in a vice grip hold. I wasn't going anywhere.
"Leah, I… well, I…um…"
"Paul, whatever it is, just spit it out already. I can't stand waiting."
"Leah, I imprinted on you. I want to be with you, and only you. I feel like such an asshole for treating you so badly, but you know how I am and I just didn't know what to say and-"
I cut him off mid-explanation, "you did WHAT? Oh. My. Fucking. God. No, you didn't."
"But Leah, I did." His pleading eyes told the truth.
I clenched my hands into tight fists and had to slow my breathing so I wouldn't phase right there in the middle of the Forks Diner and fucking rip his head off.
"When?" I spat back with pure evil in my eyes. Imprinting made me want to claw my own eyes out. How could he? I'm a genetic dead end. I can't make wolf babies. I can't make ANY babies. I'm frozen. But Paul imprinted? On me? HOW could this happen?
"This morning, right after I pushed you and you fell down the hill." Great, thanks for reminding me about that, like I didn't want to rip your head off already.
"Are you sure? Maybe you just ate some bad elk or something and you have rabies." I was seething.
Just then, our food arrived. I looked down at my hand where Paul was now gripping for dear life and looked up at him.
"Paul, I'm starving. Let my hand go now."
Again, he listened to me. Holy. Shit. He did imprint. Normally he would have spewed back a stream of insults vile enough to make a sailor blush, and here he was just doing whatever I asked him to do just because I asked.
Big, fat, hot tears welled up in my eyes. I looked down at my food and suddenly I couldn't see anything. Before a single tear hit the table, Paul was next to me, his big arms wrapped around my shoulders, asking me what was wrong and what he could do to fix it.
I sobbed quietly on his nice shirt and whispered, "are you really sure you're mine now?"
Paul stroked my hair, wiped away my tears, lifted my chin and said, "I'm all yours now, love."