A girl with brown hair and blonde highlights sat at the bar, alone except for a few empty glasses that Doug, the bartender, hadn't picked up yet. The girl, whose name was Karen, slammed down another shot glass and began to yell for another.
"Doug! Get your lazy ass out of the kitchen and pour me another!" Karen demanded as she slurred her last few words together. Rubbing her head with her right hand Karen felt the foggy effect of the alcohol trying to work its way into her head. Shaking her head, Karen momentarily pushed the effects of the booze into submission.
Doug, a kind man with red hair and mustache, came from the kitchen wiping his hands with a dingy towel. He wore a concerned look on his face as he saw the amount of glasses was staggeringly large. In recent seasons the amount Karen had been drinking had been increasingly more and more. Not only did it worry him it worried her parents, who were close friends of him. But Karen was an adult now, and the amount of money he made off of the girl in a single night was more then he typically made in a week from other patrons.
Grabbing a clean glass and a bottle of Karen's favorite liquor, Doug shook his head as he swore to himself this would be her last drink for the night. He made this promise nightly and each night it was broken. All for the sake of money. It made him angry at himself. He was only nursing the girl's addiction. But Doug needed the money. How else was he supposed to support his daughter Ann? It wasn't like that Cliff fellow was going to pay for anything. Hmph, Doug thought as he placed the drink on the counter in front of the drunk, Ann could do so much better. Rick is even better than that lazy Cliff. But he'll probably marry Karen. Well…he will unless she decides alcohol is the better companion. Doug snorted and retreated back into the kitchen as Karen began nursing her drink.
Karen sipped successfully on her drink. Doug used to turn her down after, what only 10 drinks? Now he just kept them coming to avoid an argument. It was a smart move on his part. Because whenever someone said no to Karen, especially on the matter of alcohol, well to put it lightly all hell broke loose. Taking a large gulp, Karen grinned as the hot liquid slid down her throat and came to its resting place in her stomach. Now this is a good feeling. Pure alcohol. Ahh. Now this is how you make peace with life. A content look on her face, Karen was about to take another relaxing sip as a strange hand came out of nowhere and grabbed her wrist midair, stopping her from enjoying another moment of pure alcoholic content.
"Karen! You have to stop!" Damn. Now Karen knew whose hand it was. Rick. Admittedly she used to like Rick. They were old friends and yeah she had a crush on him. But lately he had been pestering her about her drinking habits and to be honest it was getting more than just annoying.
Yanking her arm away from Rick, Karen downed her drink fast and forcefully. Slamming her glass back down on the bar Karen glared at Rick with booze fuelled fire in her eyes.
"Don't you ever come between me and my drink. You got that?" Karen growled at Rick as she narrowed her eyes into slits, trying to send him a very strong message. To enforce her point, Karen shoved Rick away even further away from her, pushing him down into the other barstool.
Rick caught one arm on the actual bar and another on the stool, causing him to look like one of his beloved chickens. With its head cut off, of course. Scrambling to get up, Rick fixed his glasses with one hand as he picked himself up with the other. His face turning bright red he mustered up his courage to scold his drunk beloved again.
Regaining the last bits of his bravery, Rick began to wag his finger as he tried to spout out the words of his oh-so-carefully planned out intervention speech that wasn't exactly going as he wished. Taking in one last breath he spoke his rehearsed speech in what he hoped was in a calming and eloquent tongue.
"Look Karen! You know I love you more than anything in the world and I really feel like your addiction is causing a wedge between us and I just feel as though you should try and contro-eek!" Rick's calm and collected speech was soon cut off by his girlish squeal as Karen bent his wagging finger back into the front of his hand.
"Listen up Rick," Karen sneered his name as she crushed his hand in hers "I love you too. But you know what I love more? I love my booze more. Got that fella? You are causing a wedge between me and my drinks! So leave me the hell alone unless you want to get seriously hurt!" Karen spat on the ground and gave a toothy, drunk grimace to emphasize her point.
"But Karen!" Rick yelled out in both pain and dismay. Karen scrunched up her face in anger and pushed Rick away from her, grabbing one of the empty glasses on the counter, and hurled it at his head.
Ducking awkwardly, Rick barely managed to avoid the glass. Instead of it hitting him, the glass flew across the room and shattered against the far wall, setting tiny pieces of broken cascading on to the floor.
At that moment Doug rushed out of the kitchen, with a half full bottle in his hands, ready to serve what seemed to be an infuriated Karen. To his surprise he saw not only an incredibly upset Karen but a clearly distressed Rick.
Karen saw the bottle out of the corner of her drunken eyes and she lunged to snatch it from the confused innkeeper. Bringing the bottle to her lips she took a huge swig, almost finishing the entire bottle. Before she could finish though, four other Mineral Town young residents came pounding down the stairs.
"What the hell are you doing here? Can't you see there's a lover's quarrel going on? Karen spat as she stumbled around. Finishing off the bottle in her hand, Karen tossed that bottle at Rick at well. Instead of hitting him, which she was obviously trying to, the bottle crashed to the floor a good two feet away from Rick.
Ann, one of the four who had ran down the stairs, rolled her eyes at Karen's ridiculousness. She looked like she was on the verge of passing out cold. Karen's feet were unstable and her eyes were a watery red mess.
"Yeah we can see that now Karen. Care to calm down and stop throwing stuff? This is our home." Ann asked Karen as she crossed her arms across her chest. She'd seen Karen drunk plenty of times before and she was much better at handling it then her father. Her dad was usually a pretty nice guy to afraid to turn away business but Ann was completely willing to kick people out if they got to rowdy. And Karen was certainly rowdy tonight.
Karen was still sober enough to come back with a witty reply. Which was surprising because she was holding onto a stray chair for support as she flung one of her hands to point accusingly at Gray and the blonde non-resident of the Inn, Claire.
"You all live here, huh? What about Blondie over there? She lives here now too? Or is she just here for a nighttime visit with Baby Blacksmith?" Karen laughed obnoxiously and a few disgustingly loud burps escaped as she made fun of the flustered couple.
Gray, the actual resident of the Inn as Karen had so kindly pointed out, pulled his hat down to cover his eyes as he began to blush an embarrassed red. However the embarrassed red quickly turned to a one of a heated rage.
"Shut up you little-"Gray was cut off by the now up off the floor Rick, who was now defending the women who had just attacked him in a drunken rage.
"Hey! Don't you dare say anything about my woman!" Rick yelled at Gray, shaking his tiny fists into the air as he defended Karen to the gruff blacksmith. Gray, completely taken aback by the poultry boy just took a step back and pulled his hat down; trying to make sense of what exactly was going on. As far as he could tell Karen had basically just told Rick to get away from her. And then she attempted to beat the living crap out of him to get him away. Gray wasn't exactly sure how Rick could still call Karen his women. And apparently Karen wasn't sure either.
"Woah! Your women? What the hell do you think you're talking about? I am nobody's women! Except maybe my good old liquor! You got that Rick. I choose booze over you! Now would you all just leave me alone! Or at least get me another bottle of," Karen stumbled backward, forcing her sentence to go unfinished.
The drunk girl went from her standing position to a sprawling one on the hard wooden floor. Karen had passed out in her drunken stupor. Rick, rushing to his beloved's side, began to pick her off the floor but the dead weight of the girl was too much for the tiny glasses wearing man.
Ann, the ever so lady like redhead, shuffled over to Cliff the resident who had remained quiet thus far, and whispered into his ear,
"When in doubt… pass the fuck out." Ann giggled cheerfully as a look of disgruntled horror covered her boyfriend's face. Cliff, a worker at the local winery, just closed his eyes and grimaced. He hated the effect alcohol had on both Karen and his boss Duke. It just made him sad. Karen, although a tad bit irritable sober, wasn't a bad person. But the drink just made her a completely different person.
"What are you doing Rick? Didn't you hear her? She just flat out chose alcohol over you. I think you need to leave her alone for a bit. We'll take her upstairs. But…if you know what's good for you, you gotta leave her alone. It's going to save you a lifetime of headaches okay. Just…leave her to us for now okay." Claire sighed as she went over to the limp girl on the floor, picking her up with both arms and dragging her towards the stairs.
Rick sat down on the floor angry at himself. Angry at the whole world actually. That farmer girl was right. His love for Karen was clouding his judgment. He knew Karen loved him. She had said so. But she loved alcohol more. How that was possible, he wasn't exactly sure. But it absolutely crushed him.
Tiny tears began to well in his eyes as he realized the ludicrousness of the whole situation. Yeah, Karen had hurt him with her alcoholism before but this was worse. She had never picked booze over him before. She had never tried to physically hurt him for getting in the way of her drinking before. Now that she had well…Rick couldn't take it. He burst into warm, distressed tears and he threw his hands onto his face, trying to preserve any manliness he had left.
Gray, Cliff, and Doug all exchanged a look of exasperation as they silently communicated. Doug grabbed a dustpan and a broom to sweep up the glass shards on the bar floor. Cliff and Gray went over to Rick, picked him up by the armpits and sat him down on one of the still standing barstools. Cliff stood next to Rick as Gray walked behind the bar and pulled out the biggest glass and the strongest liquor he could find. Filling up the glass and leaving it in front of the weeping Rick.
Cliff and Gray retreated upstairs and left the sobbing chicken farmer and sighing innkeeper to their problems. The innkeeper's being his torn up bar and the chicken farmer's being his broken heart.
Rick glanced up through his wet eyes and saw the amber drink in front of him. It was tempting. Incredibly so. He wanted to numb the pain Karen caused. But this liquid was what had caused it in the first place. A swirl of emotions went through him. Sadness hit his heart first. This drink ruined his relationship. It messed up one of the best things in his life. His drying eyes were becoming wet again.
Then the anger hit him. How dare Karen pick this drink over him! How dare she not love him enough to give it up. There was something wrong with her! Not him! Yeah! That's right. Karen screwed it up. Not him.
After the anger subsided jealousy took its place. Green, raging envy. How does one pick a substance over a childhood friend? How? It made no sense to him. But then again he never really drank. He never understood the appeal before.
After the jealousy took its place farther away from the forefront of his mind Rick remembered one excellent perk alcohol had. It numbed things. Karen's true love numbed everything. It number sadness. It numbed anger. It numbed jealousy. It would numb the pain of rejection.
Picking up the glass almost gingerly, Rick watched the liquid swirl around in the cup for a short moment before quickly knocking it back. It burned in his throat. It made the fire inside him grow more intense for a moment. But as it nestled into its place in his stomach, a calm feeling over took him. He reached for the bottle Gray had placed on the counter. He contemplated refilling his glass but instead settled for drinking straight out of the bottle.
A feeling of content now spread through Rick's body. He understood what made Karen love alcohol more than him. It could do things for her that Rick couldn't do. Sudden revelation washed over him. This lovely beverage, or this lovely genre of beverages, could do things for him Karen couldn't do. It could make him forget his father. It could make him forget how much of a wimp he was. It could make him forget almost everything. It could make him happy. It would be his new love. It would be the love that would never love anything more than him. It would be the perfect relationship. Maybe if he loved it, Karen would love him again. Maybe there could be a loving relationship between Karen, alcohol, and Rick. That way alcohol would never be the conflict in their love. It would be the glue. Or maybe, just maybe, Rick would grow to love alcohol more than Karen.
AN: Well that was..the story I guess. Yeah..I haven't really written HM fanfics in a while. And I don't know…I think it gets kind of weird in the middle. Like it doesn't fit. But I'd guess it'd be cool to get some reviews to tell me what they thought…Hehe. I'm subtle, no? But yeah I haven't seen any KarenxAlcohol stories on here so I thought..what the hell. This was initially going to be a joke fic where Karen passes out and has a dream about marrying a bottle of rum. But it obviously didn't turn out that way. So umm R&R I guess. Thanks for reading!