I don't really write fanficion, I am however an avid reader, have been for years. This was really just for a friend but then I thought, 'it's unfair for me to judge other people's work and not offer my own poor attempts', so here it is. The prompt picture is linked on my incredibly boring profile. Read and hopefully enjoy! :)
"Oh Arthur do get off that evil thing! It only tempts men with ~evil~ images and puts improper thoughts in their heads!" Said a clearly aggravated Gwen.
"No, it's not like THAT Guinevere! And I told you... that was Gwaine's fault." Arthur quickly defended. "Anyway, Merlin said I look fat-" Merlin appears behind them with a goblet of wine..."Actually I said 'Kinghood suits you sire"
Arthur picks up his cup, gesturing erratically to merlin with his left hand "See" Quickly turning, eyes wide and brows high, to look at Gwen...Gwen looked blankly at him.
Upon seeing Gwen's expression Arthur widens his eyes more and once again gestures to Merlin spilling small splashes of wine. "He called me fat." Merlin nervously looks at the full cup still residing in Arthurs hand knowing his tendency to throw things when unhappy, 'Although he does seem to reserve that purely for me' Merlin thought with a tut.
Speaking out loud Merlin corrected Arthur "I said well fed." Then to quickly move out of the splash zone when Arthur turned back to Merlin with a loud cry of "which means FAT!"
Seeing Arthur's right hand twitch Gwen intervened. "It does not mean fat Arthur, I'm sure Merlin was meaning healthy, fit."
"Exactly!" Merlin jumped in with his characteristic smile, "Just like if I was to say to the Queen-" "Just say what to the Queen?" Gwen suddenly turned, a silent warning in her eyes. Merlin, sensing the potential danger of commenting on a woman's weight, quickly backtracked "Nothing, just how wonderfully kind a-a Queen...a-and uh, beautiful she is!"
Arthur leaning against the table smirks. "Now, now Merlin that wasn't it." "Shut it!" "Yes dear!" came the quick reply. It's Merlin's time to smirk as Arthur once again quietens with his wife's warning, although silence does not last for long. "So… you see I was just looking for new chainmail-"
"Yes, cause it's the chainmail not those extra slices of pie that's the problem." Silence followed as Arthur gave Merlin the look. Sighing Merlin muttered "Stable's?" Although clearly more of a statement then question Arthur replied anyway..."Stables"