DISCLAIMER – AS MUCH AS I WISH I DID I DON'T OWN SVU OR ANY OF THEIR CHARACTERS, JUST THIS STORY AND MY OWN CHARACTERS!

Sequel to the story CAPTURED so read that first!

ITALICS ARE FLASHBACKS!

Enjoy!

Chapter One – Beginning

Stabler-Benson Household

June 1st 6.35 am

"Cragen said you can have more time off Liv, don't rush into coming back if you're not ready." Elliot whispered gently.

Olivia was doing her hair in the living room mirror and Elliot was stood behind her cupping her shoulders in his hands trying to comfort her.

"I've been off for six weeks El. If I don't do this now then I don't think I ever will." Olivia replied honestly.

"Ok baby if you're sure." Elliot sighed.

Olivia had been back to the one six after her ordeal, but one case had shown her that she hadn't been ready to go back to work and the decision to take such a long time off hadn't been easy for anyone but now she was sure she was ready to go back. She was going to counselling with Lorna twice a week and had a group therapy session once a week which was helping some, she was sure that now was the right time to go back and she wasn't about to let Elliot talk her out of it.

"Come on we should go." Olivia replied turning around to face him.

"Don't think anyone will think bad of you if you change your mind Liv, we're all behind you." Elliot smiled gently wrapping his arms tightly around her neck.

"Elliot I'm ready. I've moved on with my life and I'm ready to get back to work now ok? We moved house, we have a wedding to plan, and I want that little bit of normality of my job back, I wouldn't do it if I wasn't ready, Lorna cleared me back for work weeks ago but I took some time to really think all of this over and I know now that I want to come back. Please don't keep telling me or suggesting to me that I shouldn't." She was almost pleading with him to stop it, he had made it harder for her to want to go back with his constant reminders that it was ok if she didn't, not that she'd ever tell him that as she knew he meant well and only wanted her to be happy and that's why he kept reminding her.

"Ok come on let's go." He smiled before kissing her gently on the forehead.

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Manhattan SVU, Manhattan

June 1st 7.06 am

Olivia held Elliot's hand tight in her own as she stood outside the one six precinct. She looked up at the familiar building trying to build the courage to go inside.

"You don't have ..."

"I do." She replied cutting him off. "I need to do this El."

"You're not ready Liv, you haven't even gone inside yet and you're shaking." He whispered gently.

"I'm allowed to be nervous." She spat. "Six weeks is a long time to be away from somewhere."

"Nothing's changed though Liv." Elliot replied gently squeezing her hand trying to comfort her.

"Come on." Olivia replied pulling at him to go inside.

He could only smile and follow her. He was proud of her, he knew that this moment was tough for her and she had been dreading it all weekend but now she was heading towards the elevator like she had never been away and that made him feel a little more at ease.

When the lift arrived at their floor she hesitated after stepping out.

"Liv..."

"I'm fine El just give me a sec." She replied looking around the familiar hallway taking in that in fact nothing had changed in the six weeks she'd been away.

She took a deep shaky breath and then went towards the hustle and bustle of the bullpen already in full swing even though it was so early.

As she walked in the room broke out in applause and Munch and Fin rushed towards her pulling her into a group embrace.

"You're back then?" Munch asked.

"Yeah I'm back." She replied happily, knowing that she had made the right decision.

"I'm so proud of you baby girl." Fine smiled as he took a step back to look at her. "You're looking swell." He winked.

"Why thank you very much." She laughed as everyone but the four lead detectives went back to work.

"Good morning Olivia." Cragen smiled pulling her into an embrace.

"Hey Cap." Olivia smiled returning the hug.

"You looking forward to being back?" He asked her.

"I am." She nodded as she pulled away.

"Good. Huang is upstairs, I want you to speak with him before I give you back your gun." He explained.

"Why? I mean, Lorna cleared me to come back weeks ago and I wouldn't be here if I wasn't." Olivia replied feeling annoyed that she had to sit down with the psychiatrist.

"Just do as you're told Olivia." Cragen sighed before going back to his office.

"I guess I'll see you in a bit then." Olivia shrugged before making her way up the stairs to see the doctor.

She knocked lightly on the door and when he opened it she smiled confidently.

"Hey Liv welcome back." Huang smiled.

"Thanks, Cragen said I had to see you before he'd give me back my weapon." Olivia explained.

"I know he asked me to already, come in and sit down."

He opened the door wider letting Olivia into the comfy office. She made her way to the couch and made herself comfortable while Huang took the armchair opposite her.

"So how are you feeling?" Huang asked jumping straight in.

"Fine." Olivia replied smiling gently, she was awful at summing up her emotions.

"Any second thoughts about coming back?" Huang replied.

"Plenty." She answered honestly.

"Ok why don't you tell me about them?" He suggested ad Olivia sighed.

"I didn't know if I was ready to come back, I was second guessing my decision to come back and wondered if I would be better transferring to another unit." Olivia replied, she didn't see a point in trying to lie to Huang, he could always read her well.

"They're normal thoughts Olivia." Huang smiled. "So what about this morning, any second thoughts when you arrived?"

"Not really, I was nervous if not terrified of actually coming in here but then I did it and I'm glad I did and I feel happy to be here." She smiled back at him.

"Good, have you been thinking much about what happened when you're not in therapy sessions?" Huang asked, he knew it was a tough subject but he had to ask her all the relevant questions before giving Cragen the all clear to give her back a gun.

"Well, the truth is, I think about it every day. I could be doing the dishes or making the bed and I'll think of him or think of something that happened. I don't try to and I try and push the memories away when they do come to mind but they don't me to do anything. I don't stop doing the dishes just because I'm thinking about it. What I mean is I don't freeze or tense up because of it, not anymore anyway." Olivia sighed her hands fumbling with each other in her lap.

"Are they memories or flashbacks?" Huang replied.

"Memories." Olivia replied. "I haven't had a flashback since I was with that rape victim the first time I tried to come back."

"I'm glad to hear that, have you talk to Lorna about the memories?"

"Of course, you know if it wasn't for the face that everything that happened was caught on tape I would have thought I dreamt most of it because I don't feel it anymore, not in the way I did at first. I mean all the injuries have healed now so I don't have any constant reminders of what he did except for the scar on my cheek but that's faded and I can only see it if I try and look at it." Olivia explained as fully as she could.

"So what does Lorna tell you to do when these memories come into your mind?" Huang asked moving the questions along.

"To think of someone or something else, such as Elliot or my wedding or sing a song in my head to distract myself, I've done it a few times and it's worked I soon forget that I was thinking about it or him until it happens again." Olivia explained.

"I'm glad it seems to work. How are you feeling about going back out in the field?"

"Terrified." Olivia replied shakily. "I'm so scared that I'm going to crumble and not be able to hold it together when I have to listen to a victim tell me what happened to them."

"That's also normal Olivia, your fear is even more justified because of what happened six weeks ago, have you thought about what you're going to do if you do panic or crumble?"

"Not let it show in front of the victim, that's the most important thing, and if absolutely necessary, get myself out of there as fast as I possibly can." Olivia explained.

"Good, how have the nightmares been?" Huang asked gently.

"You know, it's still the same one I've had ever night since this happened. I don't wake in as much of a panic and I can get back to sleep pretty quickly because the nightmares don't feel as real anymore." Olivia explained as the images of her nightmare came flooding to the front of her mind, the sound of Fin bursting through the door before he's killed in front of her eyes followed by Elliot and Cragen making her swallow hard and try and push them away again.

"I'm glad to hear it. You're doing well Liv." Huang smiled gently.

"Thanks." Olivia smiled.

"Now go on, I'll go and tell Cragen to relax and have you back out in the field where you belong." Huang smiled getting to his feet.

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Manhattan SVU, Manhattan

June 1st 7.48 am

"So do I get my partner back?" Elliot asked as Olivia sat on the edge of his desk watching Huang go into Cragen's office.

"Yeah." She replied. "Huang said he's fine with me going back out there."

"I'm pleased." Elliot smiled giving her leg a squeeze.

She smiled at him and took his hand in her own as she waited for the office door and Cragen's echoing voice calling her into the office.

She didn't have to wait long.

"Liv!" He called his hand signalling for her to come over.

After winking at Elliot she skipped off looking forward to seeing her gun again.

"Here you go." Cragen smiled handing the weapon to her.

"Thanks." She smiled taking in its weight in her hands. "I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to hand one of these." She laughed as she placed it on her hip.

"Cragen." He said answering the phone that had just began to ring. "Ok, yeah no problem."

Olivia knew by Cragen's voice what it was and she could only watch as he scribbled the details on a yellow slip of paper and handed it to her making her rush off without another word.

"We've got a case." She told Elliot grabbing her jacket as he jumped to his feet.

"You sure you're ready?" He asked as Olivia handed him the address.

"Yeah, absolutely." She nodded giving him a fake confident smile.

"Ok." He nodded as they jumped into the elevator.

He couldn't hide his glee at having Olivia back at his side even if he was petrified that she wasn't going to cope with being back. He had missed her when he had been working even though he felt lucky at being able to go home to her every night, which was a small blessing.

Well for those of you who have been waiting for this, I hope it's worth the wait! xx