Crash into Me
Sam leaned against the grill of his truck. The headache from last night's poker game still pressed unpleasantly against his temples. Even the 400 in winnings and the look on Jerry's face when they'd brought in the razor didn't make up for the acid stomach and pounding head.
Oliver, looking almost as dead as Sam felt stopped in front of him, "Are you comin' for a drink pal?"
Sam's stomach rebelled at the thought. "Nah."
"Oh you're still feelin' it? Yeah, yeah, yeah." Oliver squeezed Sam's forearm, "The hair of the dog, my friend, it's the only cure."
Sam laughed. "Yeah. No. I'm just waiting for my keys and you, my friend, oughtta go straight home, and go to bed."
"Yeah, you're taking care of everybody today." Oliver turned and caught sight of Andy McNally walking towards them. "Are you, uh, are you waiting for your rookie?"
Sam tried to look at his friend as if that was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard, "No I told you, I'm waiting for my keys."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, uh, Sammy, Training officers and Rookies… can't…" Oliver gave him a meaningful look before shifting his weight back and continuing in a louder voice. "I'm gunna go, I'll be at the penny if you wanna get anything."He raised a hand awkwardly in McNally's direction, "Um, Hi."
Sam nodded and slapped Oliver on the shoulder, "Yeah, ok."
"Goodnight." Shaw called, walking away just as Andy came to stand in front of the truck.
Shaw was right, of course. Sam was waiting for McNally, and he was definitely interested, and it was entirely against the rules. In their years together at fifteen Sam had learned that Oliver Shaw was usually right. Why the officer hadn't been promoted was beyond Sam's comprehension, he suspected it was because Shaw was the only officer in the unit who was more than passable at training rookies.
"Thank you,' she held out his keys, "for the car."
"Heard about your witness."
"Ugh," She focused on something past his shoulder, "he was never a witness," when she turned her eyes back to his they were filled with pain and self doubt.
. "He was always just evidence." Kraker was a bad guy and the streets were a little safer without him roaming them, but Sam did not agree that the victory of locking him up for ten years was worth the loss of life. Sam had never liked Luke Callaghan, but tonight he wished Callaghan was inclined to "slum it" so Sam could take a little vengeance. The thought of taking Callaghan for even a hundred bucks brought a smile to Sam's heart.
She took a deep breath and shook her head, "It's, ugh… this job is..."Her speech was stilted, as if she were only just trying to figure this out and he just happened to be there for the monologue. "I guess I just have to get used to it, right?"
He nodded even as his heart screamed no. "You need anything?"
She shook her head.
"Wanna go for a drink? Need a ride home?" He was glad Shaw had gone home already, he could see his friend's face in his mind's eye as it was and it made him feel awkward, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
"No, I just need to.." she paused, lost in thought for a moment. "Actually, what do you know about plumbing?"
Sam chuckled, "Jump in, can't wait to see where this is going."
They pulled up to 37 Elm a little after nine thirty. Sam pulled up to the curb but kept the engine running as he turned to face Andy in the passenger seat. "Here?"
Andy's eyes clouded with uncertainty and he saw tears gathering at their corners for the second time that night. "There was some work, Benny didn't get to finish... because I lost him at the hospital and then... " she blew out a noisy breath.
Sam placed one hand on her shoulder. "It's not your fault."
She forced a smile for his benefit. "It was a stupid idea…" She said hurriedly, "let's just go."
Sam turned off the engine and pocketed his keys. "You coming?" he asked, climbing out of the truck.
He was halfway up the walk before she realized he was serious and piled out of the passenger seat to join him. "Thank you." She said, shooting him a real smile.
"Don't thank me yet, McNally. You've never seen me with a wrench."
He stood back while she knocked on the door, and explained to the white haired home owner why they were there. The woman hugged her, tears in her eyes, and then beckoned them in. It had been a while since Sam did any plumbing, but it came back quickly. He fixed the sink, replaced a few hard to reach light bulbs and then he and Andy bid Marie goodnight. His intentions to put McNally to work had failed when Marie offered to put on a pot of tea. The woman had lost a son; she needed Andy's assistance more than he did.
He held up his hand to stop her from thanking him as they climbed into his truck, "You did a good thing in there McNally. All I fixed was the sink."
She looked confused.
That she didn't even know she'd done a good thing amazed him. "That woman lost her son," he explained, "she doesn't care about her sink. She wants to know that someone else, a cop, saw the same good in that kid that she did." He pulled the truck out onto the street.
Andy leaned her head back against the seat and blew out a noisy sigh. "I don't know if I have what it takes."
"Sometimes it's hard," he replied, eyes on the road. "But you want to be a cop and that's part of the job." When she didn't respond after a minute he continued, "It gets easier."
"Well it shouldn't." she said with surprising venom.
"I know. But it does." He pulled to a stop at a red light and snuck a glance at her profile,
"I don't want to become some robot."
He forced a chuckle, "Is that what you think of me?"
Sam could almost feel her wide eyes on his face, "No—Sir! I –"
"Relax." He smirked at her. "And I don't think you have to worry about that."
She seemed to take him at his word, turning to stare at the city as it rolled by.
"Late night last night?" Oliver asked, so casually it was impossible for Sam to miss the real question behind the words.
"Little late, yeah." Sam loaded his gun, checked it and slid it into his holster in smooth practiced motions before turning, "Nothing like you're thinking."
Oliver raised both hands in surrender. "Whatever you say Sammy."
Sam slapped him on the shoulder on his way out. In a way he was grateful for his friend's caution. There were lines he did not want to cross, lines he frequently balanced on in order to be the kind of police he could live with, and lines he bounded over without a thought. The line between friendship and something that could destroy two careers in one fell swoop was in the first category.
The problem was that the line itself was becoming less clear the more he knew about his rookie. Bending lines and crossing lines without setting off alarms was something that made him a good cop. But the line between rookies and training officers was a brittle wall, it would not bend and the only way past it was to smash it to pieces - and there was no going back.
Which meant, no matter how much he wanted to, this was one line Sam should not cross.
As soon as morning briefing was over he and McNally headed out. She was unusually subdued, and didn't even ask to drive. He almost offered, but stopped himself just short. He wouldn't offer driving privilege to any of the other rookies, doing so for Andy because she was upset about yesterday's events was not him acting like a training officer, it was him acting like a boyfriend, so he climbed into the driver's seat and threw the car into gear the second she had her seatbelt done up.
*****
They happened on the traffic accident entirely by chance. Sam was just slowing to a stop at a red light when the white Taurus skidded through the intersection and slammed into the side of a maroon minivan. Sam slammed to a full stop and was out of the car and running towards the smoking mess of tangled metal in seconds. "1505 reporting a multivehicle accident at Jarvis and Gerrard, requesting EMS."
Dispatch responded immediately that they heard him and were sending assistance.
"McNally!" Sam hollered without stopping to see if she was following.
Sam slowed to a walk a few meters from the impact, taking in as much detail as possible before diving in to assist the occupants of both vehicles.
A man in blue jeans and a yellow U of T hoodie jogged up to him. "I have first aide, can I help?"
Short on options Sam nodded. "Come with me, what's your name? " He half turned and found McNally right on their heels. "McNally check the driver of the Subaru. EMTs are on their way."
"Chris." The young man reached to shake Sam's hand and then thought better of it when he saw the purple rubber gloves Sam already wore.
Sam turned his focus to the van.
Sam could smell the blood when he was still a few meters from the van driver's door. The sickly sweet, coppery smell combined with exhaust and hot metal creating a noxious perfume that he knew from experience would take days to wash from his senses.
The airbags had deployed on impact and at first all Sam could see were deflated balloons of white fabric. Doing his best not to jostle the driver he moved the airbags aside and pressed two fingers to the blonde woman's carotid. Her pulse was rapid but steady. He turned to the first aid volunteer. "Talk to her but don't move or touch her."
The man nodded earnestly and immediately stepped to the broken window and began to speak softly to the woman. "Ma'am? You've been in an accident. Can you hear me? Help is on the way."
Sam circled around the van, checking for signs of other occupants. The passenger seat was empty except for a flower patterned hand bag. Sam slid open the side door. The sight that met his eyes was one every cop hopes they never have to deal with.
Strapped into her car seat directly behind the driver and right at the point of impact was a little girl. No more than three years old. Her head hung at an awkward sideways angle and her blue eyes stared lifelessly forward from a face frozen in an eternal scream of terror. Clutched to her chest was a china doll. The doll's head was half gone, shattered in the impact. The one remaining eye mirrored the dead girl's frozen stare.
Sam stopped himself just short of pulling her tiny body free from the wreckage. There was nothing to be done for her now. He slid the door shut and slapped a length of police tape across to keep anyone else from seeing what was behind it.
The sound of the ambulance had never been so sweet. Sam flagged them down and directed the first pair of paramedics to the driver of the van. A second ambulance arrived moments later for the Taurus's driver. Two police units had arrived just before the second ambulance and Sam spotted Nash and Epstein taking statements from witnesses while Grantner took photos of the wreck.
"Sir?" McNally came to stand beside him. She was pale and there was a smudge of someone else's blood on her cheek. Probably transferred there when she pushed back her long brown hair - an unconscious gesture he knew she did when nervous. He half raised his hand to wipe it away, stopping himself just in time.
"Any passengers in there?" He asked, jerking his head towards the Taurus.
She shook her head. "Just the driver. No sign of alcohol in the car."
Sam nodded. They would wait for the hospital to confirm blood alcohol levels.
"So now we take statements?" Andy asked.
Sam shook his head. We witnessed the crash, got help on scene. Now we go back to the barn and wait for the hospital to let us know if we've got another drunk driving death on our hands."
"Death?"
"Little girl in the van."
Andy looked like she might throw up.
"Come on." He grasped her arm just above the elbow and steered her to the car.
Once she was seated he handed her her own pad of paper and a pen. Write down everything you saw." He said, pulling out his own pad to do the same. He knew by the time they returned to the station the memory would already be clouded by the chatter over the radio and the horror of what they had witnessed. He had told the truth when he told McNally it got better, but there were some things that would always be hard. The death of a child was high up on that list.