hi this is my first ever fan fiction so i decided to base it on one tree hill characters because One Tree Hill is amazing and I am a massive fan. i have had this story for a really long time, but i have never got around to writing it so i hope you enjoy it. basically what happens is haley moves to tree hill after the death of her brother jake. she is trying to grief and let go. she meets lucas, peyton and brooke and falls for nathan. there is a twist but i dont want to go into to much detail you will have a read and mind out. i will tell you this, there may or may not be memory loss in my story.
please read and review. and enjoy reading the story, im sorry if it sucks :p
Disclaimer :I do not own any of the one tree Hill characters!
Chapter one: There is nothing Romantic about death
When you die, you are gone. It's that simple and that complicated. Gone from the lives of those who meant most to you. We can't see you and yet we know your there. But it's hard because sometimes we forget your there completely and we feel all alone. Sometimes you need to see something in person to believe its real, under these circumstances, all we have is our faith. When I was younger I used to wish that everyone in the world was immortal. That way there was no goodbyes or funerals or the utter fear of time running out. We would all just keep on living. But now as I am older I question the perks of immortality. Where would the world be if there was no death? Would the world be peaceful? Or will it be in total destruction. Who would we be? Then I just got thinking maybe its best we didn't know.
Someone once told me when someone dies, what's left of their loved ones dies with them. What's inside me is dead. Empty. Lost. Numb. Hopeless. How are you meant to go on living when the person who meant the most to you is gone? It doesn't seem fair. This notion if you're a good person, good things will happen to you. Jake is gone and now I have to live through his absence. It's almost cruel. Every day is a struggle, emotionally. Everything is a reminder of my brother. That's why my mother has decided it's time for a change in atmosphere. So tomorrow we are leaving Charleston to our new life in a town called Tree Hill.
"Haley James", the deafening voice of my mother awoke me. I looked at my clock to see the time reading 8am. Today was the day, moving day. We would be leaving Charleston in just a short few hours, leaving our old lives behind. "Breakfast", she continued. I sat up and looked around what was left of my room that was now surrounded by abundant boxes. Most of which I didn't bother to mark. My clothes that filled my draws and wardrobe were the last to be packed. Reluctantly, I got out of bed and made my way to the shower not bothering to look in the mirror. I knew I had black circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep from the recurring nightmares. It hasn't been an easy couple of months since the death of my older brother Jake, the last thing on my mind was how I looked. After my shower and I brushed my teeth I quickly threw on a pair of old jeans and an oversized jumper and made my down stairs. Mum was in the kitchen, staring at the ground waiting for the water to boil. She had puffy red eyes and an empty box of tissues next to her. I knew she had been crying, she cries a lot now days, we never pointed out our tear stained cheeks anymore and asked if we wanted to talk about it because our answer was always the same. She didn't notice I came down stairs and sat on a stool until she turned around with her freshly brewed coffee and faked a smile. Mum made me a cup and went back to staring at the ground.
"I made some eggs", she said quietly looked up after minutes of silence.
"Thanks but I'm not really hungry", I replied blankly. She just nodded and took a sip from her coffee cup avoiding my eyes.
"Have you finished packing?" she asked attempting to make conversation.
"Not yet", I said.
"We are leaving at lunchtime", Mum pointed out.
"I will do it", I said losing patience.
"I'm just reminding you, the movers will be here soon and I want to get to the new house early and unpack, I don't want to get there after dark", she said annoyed.
"Okay I'll do it now", I said angrily and ran up stairs without another word. I could faintly hear my
Mother sigh.
Things weren't always that tense between my mum and me. There was a time when we were all a family. We would talk and be kind to each other. Now, we barely speak, it's like we have nothing to say to each other. There are times when we are a family, but they are rare and unpredictable, but most days are bad days and on those days it seems like there is no sunshine in the world. My mum tried her hardest to be brave for me and talk to me about Jakes death. After a while she realised nothing she could say would make me feel any better and make me forget Jake. So soon she stopped trying. Mum barely looked me in the eye anymore. Jake and I had the same light brown eyes that we inherited from our father. I know her heart breaks every time she looks me in the eye, because her only son is gone. And that's the worst feeling. I hate my mum feeling this way so I try to avoid her gaze. I know she is struggling, so when she suggested a change I agreed to make her happy. I'm hoping this move will mend our broken relationship and restore patience with each other. I don't mean to take it out on mum, but sometimes I can't help it. I'm so angry. And I hate myself when it happens. It would be easier if my sisters were around also. My sister Quinn stayed with us for a few months after the accident but now has returned to her life as a photographer with her husband. I miss having her around, we have always been close, and she has always been there for me when I needed it the most. But I understand that she has a life too and it's selfish of me to keep her from it. My other sister Taylor is at college most liking corrupting the youth. We never got along as kids; she would always tease and make fun of me so our relationship was always tense, having her around that the moment would probably make things worse. I never knew my dad, he left when I was two, all mum has ever spoken about him was he had big irresistible brown eyes and was a musician. Other than that he was a total mystery. Part of me inside longed to know who my father is, but then I remember he abandoned me and my family.
I was packing the last item of clothing in my last moving box when I sealed it closed. I looked around my bedroom in shock as this was the first time it was empty. It was sad leaving my childhood home, as it had been the place I shared so many happy memories with my family. But a fresh start was the best thing for us now. I can't stand the fake smiles and sympatric looks people give me through Charleston. Most of the people had been at Jakes funeral because he was a big basketball star and well known and kind hearted person. His death shocked everyone. With the last box packed there was only one more thing I had to do. Say goodbye.
The Charleston graveyard had unfortunately become like a second home to me over the past months. No matter where I was going, I always found my way here, by a familiar tombstone. I stared at the name that was printed on the gravestone. The name that was once and always will be an important part of my life. My heart ached as the tears formed in my eyes. Jacob James loving son and friend. January 21 1982-Febuary 6th 2003. Jake was only 21 years old. Just 21. It's cruel that he only lived for 21 years, when he had so much potential, so much life ahead of him. Now it's wasted in the ground below. Instead of being appreciated and embraced throughout the world. Jake was more than my brother, he was my best friend, the person I turned to for comfort and support. I have never felt so lonely in my life. I could feel the tears, sliding down my cheek I didn't bother to stop them from falling. I can't bear the thought of leaving him behind, but I know if he was still here he would want me to take care of mum. I placed lilies in front of his grave and kneeled down next to it.
"Hey Jake", I breathed. The tears streamed down my cheeks for I knew that this would be the last time I visit Jakes grave in a while. I stared at Jakes grave taking it all in, trying to imagine Jake standing beside me.
"So as you know today's moving day. I have been dreading this all day, the goodbye scene. I don't want you to worry while I'm gone. I promise to take care of mum. She wanted to be here, but she's not ready to face your grave, she needs a little more time. She's struggling. But hopefully being in a new place will be good for her, you know. And me" I looked down at the ground for a moment and caught my breath. "We miss you so much Jake", I sobbed and continued "I hate you not being here with us. I hate not seeing you smile and laughing with you over stupid things. I miss you always winning in a game of horse, or us hanging out at Uncle John's Auto shop and listening to old music all day and talking about whatever enters our mind. It sucks not being able to do those things with you, and I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but I can't help it, I miss you Jake. I wish you were here". What I did next was all I could do. I cried. I cried by Jake's grave for what felt like hours. Until I had no more tears to shed. I looked at my watch and realised it was time to go. I slowly started to rise from the ground. I placed one hand on the head stone and whispered "Goodbye for a little while, I love you". My eyes wandered and I read the quote on Jakes headstone below his name "You will soar on the wings like eagles; you will run and not grow weary". As I turned and started to walk away I knew I would remember that quote forever, for it was like Jake, embedded in my memory, always and forever.
hope you guys liked the first chapter of you are not alone in this. please tell me what you think. hopefully i will update quickly but bear in mind i am a major procrastinator. until next time