"Peter must've rolled onto his back again."
They knew this because his distinctive nasal rumble was nerve-gratingly audible through the cracked-open double windows that led out onto the small balcony attached to their room. Remus and Sirius were leant against the rough, chest-high stones that protected the clumsy from a precipitous death.
"Still say we should just tie him face down to the bed. The silencing charms always wear off halfway through the night."
"Really, Sirius. I don't care to hear the details about your Peter-related sexual fetishes."
'Ha. Bloody ha."
Sirius twisted to punch Remus, who merely sniggered, in the arm.
After a moment, he cast Remus a sly grin. "You want to hear about the other ones, then?"
"It depends." Remus cocked his head, looking thoughtful. "If they're at all related to Padfoot's burning, and apparently uncontrollable, desire to hump my leg, then no."
The moon was bright that night, and Remus turned to look at Sirius. "You're blushing," he said gleefully.
"I hate you." Sirius punched him again. "You promised not to bring that up anymore. It happened once. In Fifth Year, you ungrateful sod! I hadn't fine-tuned my control yet!"
Remus hunched over the ledge, his shoulders shaking.
"See if I ever do anything to help you again."
"I apologize." Remus said gravely.
Sirius sniffed, casting a haughty look down his nose at Remus. "I'm afraid that's not good enough. You'll have to make it up to me."
"How shall I?"
"Help me snuff Prongs?"
"He hasn't been that bad," Remus said unconvincingly. "They've only been together a couple of weeks. You should let him have his moment."
"He never shuts up about Evans. I mean, even more so than before."
"Actually, I think it's rather-"
"I'll toss you off this balcony if you say anything revolting or poncy."
Remus shut his mouth.
"Moony, come on." Sirius gave him an incredulous look. "You must think it's pathetic the way he goes on."
"Mm." The noncommittal sound irked Sirius.
"Don't you?" he insisted with irritable jerk of his head. "And why are you looking at me like that?"
"Just trying to figure out why you're so fussed." Leaning forward on his elbows, Remus propped his chin in his hand and smiled. "I think you might be jealous."
Sirius squawked. "Jealous! Of what?"
"That you don't have anyone to say disgustingly sweet nothings to, or to play footsie with, or-"
"I can have a bit of slap-and-tickle anytime I fancy, mate." Sirius directed a scowl at Remus' irritatingly benign smile. He knew the berk was having a good smirk at his expense underneath it all.
"But you don't." Remus spread his hands as if that summed things up neatly.
"You're missing the point. Deliberately being obtuse."
"I'm obtuse? Oh, well, then. Please, do enlighten me."
Remus was definitely smirking now.
"I don't think so, Lupin." Sirius said coldly.
"Don't be like that, Black." Remus grinned widely. "Listen, I've an idea."
"I wasn't born yesterday, you know. Whatever it is, I'm not falling for it." Sirius folded his arms across his chest and looked out over the grounds, feigning disinterest. Secretly, he was all for it, whatever it was. Nobody could jolly him out of his moods like Remus could, but it wouldn't do to make that too obvious yet. Moony needed to work for it.
A particularly loud snore reverberated through the open doors just then, and Remus and Sirius looked sidelong at each other and snorted laughter. After a moment, Remus stretched and yawned, then turned to Sirius, leaning one hip against the stone balcony.
"Did I ever tell you I really like your hair this length? It suits you. Longish, but not too long. Not like when it was almost past your shoulders and McGonagall had fits until Peter accidentally singed the ends off in Charms when we were learning Incendio."
"You think so?" Sirius' pale hands reached up to tangle in the thick mass of hair, and Remus smiled. It wasn't that Sirius didn't know he was rather extraordinarily attractive, but he had the strangest flashes of insecurity from time to time. Then he frowned. "Did I ever pay Wormtail back for that?"
"Hexed his trousers off in front of Mary MacDonald when he was trying to ask her Hogsmeade."
"Oh, right." Sirius laughed loudly. "Left his pants on, though, didn't I?"
"Yes, you're a regular fount of generosity."
That only made Sirius snigger more.
"Really, though, you should thank Peter for it. Because your hair this way, it really brings out your eyes."
Sirius glanced at Remus sharply, but he was staring serenely up at the stars.
"And," Remus went on. "It gives you that sort of bad boy vibe that I know you've been aiming for." His grin tilted to Sirius again, and he scuffed a foot over the stones to nudge at Sirius' weathered trainers. "Very rebellious youth, and all."
"You..." Sirius stared down at their feet. "You're winding me up, aren't you?"
"If that's what you want to call it." Remus watched him, wearing the most guileless of smiles that Sirius didn't trust one bit.
"Moony." Sirius cleared his throat. "Are you-"
"Ready for the slap-and-tickle yet?" Remus interrupted, nudging him with an elbow this time.
After it became apparent that Sirius wasn't going to do much more than stare, silently agape, Remus sighed and pulled away. He slipped through the double windows. "I guess they really do let anyone into Gryffindor these days."
Three seconds later he was flat on his back being vigorously snogged by an indignant Sirius Black. The resulting shriek from Peter and his rapid exit from the bed they were currently sharing was only mildly disruptive.
"At least he stopped snoring."
/lj-cut
