A/N: Okay-this is just something silly I wrote a few minutes ago for fun.

WARNING! There is heavy Twilight-bashing/Character-bashing/Bashing of everything in this because I find humor in it. I like Twilight pretty well, as well as Bella's character, but I will be insulting them heavily in this. Especially Bella! Be warned!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, not one bit.

Soap Operas always make me emotional...

Bella was in the Cullen living room one day watching soap operas with her boyfriend Edward. If Edward could cry, he would be doing so right now.

Bella looks over at him and asked,"Do you need a tissue sweetheart?" *sniff* He smiles at her then says, "No Bella I'm fine, but thanks for thinking of me deer."

Two gun shots suddenly rang out of nowhere. Edward turned back to the soap opera and suddenly screamed at the top of his lungs like a psycho, in a high pitched girly voice, "NO IT'S NOT TRUE!" His favorite couple had just murdered each other at the very same time. They had both succeeded in giving the other a mortal wound. Their lifeless bodies collapsed onto the floor with a loud thud. Huge, gaping bullet wounds were now in their chests. Blood soaked into the floor, staining the carpet a deep crimson. 'They will never get that out of that rug.' Edward cringed from his vampire OCD.

"Hugo, Maria, I thought you were in loooooooove!" Edward wailed pathetically. But then all of a sudden the fake blood on the screen made Edward think of warm sweet blood, and his vamp side was coming out at full force. He started drooling. He whipped his head away from Bella and growled, "BELLA GET OUTTA HERE NOW!" Bella started stuttering like always, but stayed rooted to her spot on the sofa like an idiot. She should know to run when a vampire tells her to by now shouldn't she? "Y-You won't hurt me." Bella stated with confidence. Edward jumped up offa the sofa and waved his arms around in the air like a madman. "GET OUT JUST DO IT! GO !" he yelled.

Bella was shaking. She went not two, but three shades whiter than she usually is, and that's saying something. She had never seen him quite like this before. That infamous episode he had back in class when she first got within attack range was nothing compared to this insanity!

"O-okay Edward I'll call you tonight." she said nervously. Bella got up from the sofa and fell flat on her face with an 'oof!' onto the carpeted living room floor.

"GET YOU'RE ACCIDENT PRONE ASS OUT OF HERE BEFORE I EAT YOU IN ONE BITE!"

Bella found it hard to stand when the vampire was making her so fearful, but she eventually got to the Cullen's door, managing to only trip three more times on the way over to it. (Way to go Bells!)

She crawled into her truck (she had somehow broken her left leg and sprained her wrist because of that nasty fall over a bush. She had actually kind of flipped over it, which would have been awesome if anyone had been taping her clumsiness and put it up on YouTube.

MEANWHILE IN THE CULLEN LIVING ROOM: Edward had burst out of the side of the glass wall in his blood-induced frenzy. 'No time to open a door. I have to feed right NOW!' Edward's inner beast roared. He ran and ran and ran a full circle around the world, in record time for a vampire, trying to find the right kind of animal to quench his dark thirst. It was nighttime when he found himself in a big city god knows where.

'Animals won't do! I want human blood. I need it bad, just eating one human won't hurt. Nobody will miss 'em anyway.' He was truly going mad he thought, but he wanted human and he was going to damn well have it. 'I'll just kill one of these homeless people. It won't make people as suspicious.'

He landed near an old smelly guy who was drinking booze. He never saw him coming. Edward ripped his head off and sucked out all of the blood from his neck like a bottle of cherry soda. His eyes flashed an intense red and he started laughing maniacally. The only way to describe how he felt was to think of someone who has been on a low-fat diet for 10 years straight, and eats a whole chocolate cake smothered in ice cream and chocolate sauce, with jellybeans on top. He was euphoric!

'Wow that sure tasted good. I think I'll have another.'

He was an addict now. He just couldn't stop eating people.

He knew if he ate all of the homeless people that hung out around in this area, he would definitely raise suspicion, but he could not have cared less. He ate all of them, then he proceeded to eat a few people going to their cars for the night.

Edward spat out the car keys he had accidentally swallowed when he feasted on that last woman in the parking lot.

'I must go home. I need to speak with Bella.' He was now coming down from his blood-high, and he was feeling somewhat guilty. But full, very full. 'Bella won't like this, so I just won't tell her. It was a one time thing, and it won't happen again so there is no need for her to find out.' Edward said with resolve. He started running back to Forks to try and explain the broken house to his family and be there for Bella's call.

A/N: Leave a review if you can. I don't know when I'll be updating, but I plan on it when I have the time. Thanks for reading! :3