Disclaimer: Due to funding issues, J. K. Rowling went broke again. She decided that I would become the new Harry Potter writer. Note that the last statement is false, and the last statement was true, but the last statement was false, even though the last statement was also false, but this statement was true.
Voldemort was sitting in his Office of Evil doing typical mass-murderer work when his Secretary of the Office of Evil, Donna Rongduer came in.
"Um, Mr. Mort?"
"Did I not tell you to not not not call me Mr. Mort because it does not make me sound not good?" asked Voldemort.
"Um... you did not?"
"Wrong! You have used up your One Liberty to Make a Mistake. You know what that means?"
"Um, no."
"It means I know that you do not know that I know that you don't know what you're supposed to be doing, and thus next time you do not know, I will have to know how to know how to kill you."
"Um, could you please not talk in riddles?"
"Do not call me that name! I will now name you what your parents should have named you but decided not to name you because they are not experts at naming! I name you dead! AVADA KEDAVRA!"
So now Voldemort was doing typical mass-murdering when his Secretary of the Office of Evil's Replacement, Mia Nowernirnolmal came in.
"She lasted 3 hours, 6 minutes and 42 seconds, sir."
"Ooh, a new record."
"Yes, you must be getting better at controlling your evil, sir."
"Now, what is this thing she wanted to talk to me about?"
"Our funding is low, sir."
"How low?"
"Minus 2000 Galleons, sir."
"Why didn't you tell me this earlier? You have used up your One Liberty to Make a Mistake."
"Oh, sorry, on the way home I decided to get some cookies for the dark side-"
"NO COOKIES! AVADA KEDAVRA!"
So now Voldemort was doing his typical mass-murdering when his Secretary of the Office of Evil's Replacement Replacement, Gordon Oknow, came in.
"She lasted 10 seconds."
"Ooh, a new record."
"Yes, you must be getting good at not controlling your evil."
"I know. Now, what are we going to do about this little problem?"
"We will go to the bank. Unfortunately, Gringotts has made a new law that says that no psychos are allowed to enter the building. I decided we would go to the Muggle bank and trade it on the black market."
"Muggle bank? No way. For failing to find a better alternative, you used up your OLMM."
"Fine. But anyway, I was talking to the potter-"
"How dare you mention that name! AVADA KEDAVRA!"
So Voldemort went to the bank.
To be continued...