Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii Five 0, if I would, Kono would have been treated better... I'm only taking the beloved characters and play with them for fun, I'll give them right back on time for the third season.

A/N: This fic happens at the end of the second episode of the second season, after Kono is thrown out to the cold, to work with IA. My version of the events. Steve and Kono obviously.

I'm not sure where this came from, it's completely different from what I wrote before. Hope you'll like it, please tell me what you think.

Internal Affairs

He has to go to see her, even though she said she doesn't want to see anyone. He just has to. If not for her, than for himself, because he's been walking back and forth in his office, like a caged animal, for the last twenty minutes, reliving again and again the news broadcast he just saw, and seeing her smiling and trusting face in her official academy photo, when they repeated the accusations.

He just stood there, helpless, with Danny, and that new girl when they reported she was dirty and off the force. Off his force. So fuck it, he's going.

He knocks on her door so hard, it almost cracks. He can hear the hinges squeak with the pressure and he sees the shadow of her feet from behind the door.

"Open the door Kono!"

"No! Go away, Steve. I told you not to come here."

"I swear Kono, I'll break the fucking door."

"Go ahead" she shouts back in defiance, "I'll get the cops. They already know this place after they'd searched it." Fuck. They searched the place. He didn't realize... was she alone when they humiliated her like that? it makes him pause for a second. But only for a second. because after that one second he pulls his gun, shoots the fucking lock, and lets himself in.

He finds her sitting on the small sofa, drinking her coffee almost casually, not even looking at him when he comes to sit by her side. The only sign of the turmoil inside her is the small crease she has between her eyebrows. He can recognize this expression of hers, he mostly sees it, when they're on a job and someone gets hurt. Ok, fine, usually it's him who gets hurt.

"I'm sorry" he tells her, when there's still silence and she continues to ignore his presence. "I shouldn't have let it to deteriorate like that. I'll go to IA tomorrow, and tell them all about the ten millions. You'll be back on the team in no time."

There's that silence again, when they just sit there, thinking about the meaning of what he is saying, so when she offers no other reaction, he turns to get up and leave her place.

Only she says "no."

"No?"

"No."

"Kono, if you think I'll let you go down for something I did..."

"You did it for Chin, I owe it to you."

"You don't owe me..." he says quickly. He feels his throat tightens with her clinical approach to his actions. "I did it for Chin, a member of my team, it was my obligation. You had nothing to do with it." Only, he knows that he's lying, she had everything to do with it. There was only one thing in front of his eyes when he went through with this crazy idea, her sad face and her fear for her cousin.

There's a pause after he says it, and she hears his voice trembling unexpectedly, and it makes her look at him, for the first time since he barged into her house. She has a special light in her eyes when she does it, a light that hits him straight in the chest, making him stop breathing for a second. Before he has the time to say something, and move his hand to touch her, she says "there's might be another way..."

()()()

"No!"

"No?"

"You've heard me. No!"

"Will you at least think about it, and try to be reasonable?"

"Reasonable? this is how you call letting you work undercover for that asshole Fryer? No. It's dangerous. It's out of the question. I'm not allowing it" he's practically shouting at her.

"You're not allowing it?... are you crazy? I don't need your permission!" she can shout too, you know.

"You most certainly do. I'm your boss."

"No you're not. Not anymore..."

He has a haunted expression when her words hit him, and she feels sorry for saying it the moment it comes out, seeing the hurt on his face, and the fact that he turns away from her makes her fear he'll leave. She really wants him on board with this, even though she claims she doesn't need him.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you" she says quietly, concentrating on the cold coffee in her cup.

"You really want to go through with it?" he turns around again, after regaining some control over his emotions.

"It's our only way to make it go away." she says quietly "Fryer promised, I'd do it for him, and he stops coming after us."

She looks up at him with hope in her eyes "stops coming after you."

"Shit Kono..." he whispers, shaking his head, as she stands up and walks towards him. They both know she's going to do it.

She stands there in front of him, barefoot, so he has to look downwards, and her hair is curled uncharacteristically around her head, making her look so young and innocent, like the face he saw on TV earlier, the face that haunts him since. He feels stupid, because he thinks his eyes are filled with unshed tears, so he tries to shake his head, and get a grip on himself.

Her eyes are strong, and trusting, and there's no pleading in them, she doesn't beg him to agree. She just looks into his very soul and says "I have to do it alone, Steve."

"I know" he whispers.

"Fryer can't know you're in on it."

"I know" he bows his head and inhales deeply.

"I'm serious, Steve. You all have to forget about me, you need to keep the team together and continue as if nothing happened. I need to know that you're all safe from him. Not knowing that for sure, will be the hardest thing for me."

"I know" he raises his head and looks steadily into her eyes. "Don't worry, I'll keep everything under control. I'm worried about you though, knowing that you're out there, alone, without backup, that would be the hardest thing for me."

She smiles at him sadly, her dimples showing in her clean beautiful face, and he has no other option other than smile back. They stand there aimlessly, smiling at each other for a long time, until he realizes that every minute he spends there, is compromising her cover and risks her life. The sudden fear that spread on his face when he makes this realization is not unnoticed by her, so she's not surprised when he starts to back up and makes his way quickly towards her still opened door. She is much more surprised when he rushes back suddenly, getting back into the house and takes her in his arms. His warm body is around her, as he sweeps her into a hard, desperate, almost violent kiss, all she can do is cling to him forcefully, and hold his body against her, whimpering quietly with the feel of his strong body.

He lets go of her, eventually, and gets out of the house without looking back. He knows that looking into her eyes again, will prevent him from leaving her, and he promised, so he has to leave. When he gets to his car, he bangs his fist into the side of the truck, breaking the skin above the knuckles.

He stays awake half the night, tossing and turning violently in his bed, the only quiet moment he gets is in the morning, after he runs seven miles along the coast line. When he gets to HQ in the morning he is much more collected and calm. He sends Chin to her house to replace the ruined lock, though. Because he nearly went back there last night to do it himself.

()()()

He hates lying to Danny, but he finds himself doing it endlessly since she went off the grid. The guy is relentless though, keeps telling him how he is trying to call her, and goes to her house and how she keeps avoiding him, and he has to force himself to stay calm when Danny keeps talking about it every single day with an elevated degree of concern.

He must be getting crazy, because he wants to fucking strangle Danny, maybe because he keeps lecturing him and telling him what a crappy leader he is, not looking after her or trying to call her, maybe it's because his stalking her, actually risks her life, maybe it's because after two weeks of constant visits, Danny finally manages to see her walking out of the house to go surfing. He follows her to the beach, and spends the next two hours watching her glide the ocean. She chases him away though, when she finally spots him, almost freaking him out completely with her violent threats, but he gets to see her, and talk to her. He never knew you could feel so much envy.

After that, even Danny's efforts are limited. It's easier like this, he tells himself at first, but he knows that he'd just lost another thread of connection to her, and she's been swept even further away from him.

()()()

They have a new case, involving SEAL team 9. He feels better now, back in familiar territory, with Joe and the SEAL team. Only he can't really concentrate well, and he is doing stupid things, like jumping from an airplane, and make this crazy stunt in order to save a SEAL. He is so far beyond the point of reason at this stage, that even Danny's rants and frustration with his overzealous and reckless actions is devoid of their usual influence. He keeps waiting to hear her laughing at them, defending his actions lightly and appeasing Danny, like she always does, but it never comes. When he gets home, with all his body tight with pain, dead tired and emotionally drained he makes a stupid mistake.

He calls her. He doesn't even think about it, just picks up the phone and dials. When he hears her voice on the other side, filled with worry and dread, he realizes what he'd done.

"I'm sorry" he whispers after she calls his name a few times.

"What happened?" she asks anxiously, and he realizes she is worried that something terrible that had happened made him call.

"Nothing." he admits, shutting his eyes tightly "I shouldn't have called."

There's a big, deep, lengthy silence when both of them are just keeping the line open, and he thinks he can hear her shallow breaths from the other side. He wants to tell her to be careful, and to try and call him when she can. He wants to tell her that he can't sleep, worried sick all the time and doing crazy things, with this dangerous agitation and loss of concentration, but he doesn't.

"I've got to go" she says eventually, sighing deeply. Then, the line is disconnected.

The satisfying sound of his cell phone breaking after he throws it violently against the wall, is his only consolation.

()()()

When Chin tells him she was using his access code to get into HPD files, he is half way on his way to her apartment. He plans to get her out of there and call the fucking thing off. The only thing that stops him is the fact that they have an urgent case, and Chin's level headed assessment of the situation. Oh yes, there's her haunting eyes when she looked at him trusting him to go along with this god damn nightmare. The eyes which comes to him in his fucking sleep every single fucking night, that makes him rethink it as well.

The only reason he still lets Chin follow her is the natural way in which it happens, and the fact that it would actually be more suspicious if he wouldn't. The fact that Chin is giving him some limited pieces of information about her, is pure luxury, really. He wants to ask him how she looks, and how she sounds, and if she looks like she's anxious, tired, if she eats, if she's in control. He wants to fucking ask if she is scared, like him, but he can't.

He trusts her more than he trusts anyone. He trust her like he trust himself. She's young, and inexperienced, but she's brave and resourceful and smart. He tells it to himself every single day. He isn't sure he can say it for much longer though, at least without going and see for himself.

()()()

He hates himself for doing it, but he goes to see Catherine. She's back on the island for a short weekend, and wants to meet. He looks around him, at his team and their high stress level and decides to play it normal. It's not as normal as he had expected, because as soon as they meet, and she moves on top of him starting to kiss him and remove his clothes, his body forgets what he came there to do. He tries to get into it, kissing her back, sinking into the bed, letting her lead the way, and he shows no objections when she lies on top of him warm and naked, moving her body with her attempts to turn him on. He shuts his eyes and tries to relax, surrendering to her ministrations and to the small moans of appreciation she makes as she rediscovers his body, and it looks like it's working for a few moments, only it doesn't.

"I can't" he tells her looking at the ceiling and avoiding her surprised look.

"What do you mean?" she sits up, straddling his hips, and making a sharp movement which makes him look at her.

"I can't" he says again, and he's not even sorry, because when he looks into her face he sees only surprise and annoyance, without any sign of hurt or pain. It's so fucked up, he can't believe it, he thinks about Kono in Catherine's place and realizes her reaction would probably be quite different. He smiles despite of himself, even if it's not appropriate, but he can't help it, thinking about his wild Hawaiian beauty, that will probably bite his heads off in an instance. Honestly, she would have make a permanent damage, have him bleed to death, or simply shoot him and get it over and done with.

So, basically they just stay there, with him lying on his back, half naked, and Catherine on top of him watching mortified at how he's bursting out with laughter.

She throws him out eventually, and throws his tee shirt after him to the hall, and he leaves his truck in the hotel's parking lot and runs all the way home. He feels much better, and much more in control after that, even if he stumbles a little when he tries to explain to Danny why they need to go pick up his truck the next day.

She can't believe he fucking called her. He promised. Doesn't he have even a shred of self control? she can start to see Danny's point when he keeps telling how unpredictable and irresponsible Steve is. For god sakes, what the hell is he expecting her to do with this? she stares blankly at her phone, still hearing his voice echoing in her head. She breaks four plates and a glass when she pushes the dish rack aggressively off the counter, and spends the next half an hour collecting glass shreds from the floor.

()()()

She never felt so alone in her life. It reminds her of the time after her accident, when she lied in that hospital bed with her whole world collapsed around her. She had Chin then. She has Chin now too. She can see him occasionally following her around the island, taking notes of the people she hangs out with. The really bad people she hangs out with, and she can't help but cringe in embarrassment, knowing that he suspects the worst. She wonders if she needs to call Steve and tell him to keep Chin away, but decides against it. Chin's obsession with her well being is a well known fact, even in the underworld of Oahu, so they can probably understand his snooping around her. As long as he's not interfering, and remains safe, she can let him creep around her. She also suspects this is Steve's way to keep tabs on her. At least that's what she hopes.

She sends her hand to touch her lower lip once in a while. The kiss he gave her, before letting her go, still lingers there, making a promise for a future, after the job.

()()()

When Malia shows up, and actually tries to talk to her, she almost tells her everything. The woman's gentleness and the love she expresses when she talks to her about her important role in Chin's life almost breaks her heart. After she leaves she spends a couple of hours crying her heart out on the floor of her bathroom, shaking miserably.

It's a stupid thing to do, but it's already one AM when she can't stand it anymore. She parks her car about half a mile from his house, and goes the rest of the way by foot. She finds the hidden spare key and gets into the dark and quiet house.

He can hear someone getting in, and quietly climbing the stairs, and he knows it's her even before she enters his bedroom, just from the way the energy shifts around her. He pushes himself on his elbows and says her name softly, and she leaps into the bed, and buries herself into his warm body. They lie there together, and he caresses her hair, and her back, and whispers her name. He's not begging her to stop this lunacy or asking her to come back to them, and she never says a word about it too. He only holds her against him, and moves his hand gently all over her, trying to ease the pain, and the stress and the loneliness of the last couple of weeks. She leaves just before the sun comes up, and still, no words are said.

After this, when Chin visits her, she's ready for him. She doesn't flinch when he's pleading her, and expresses his concern. She closes the door silently behind him, and returns to her task.

()()()

Chin tells him they saw her in the getaway car, and he knows that she had finally crossed the line. Having his team members shooting at each other is beyond any of the most horrifying scenarios he had pictured to himself when he imagined the severity of her situation. He gives them precise orders for the chase, and makes his way towards her location. He knows he can trust Chin and Danny to show restraint and contain this volatile situation, but the new girl worries him. She is too eager for her own good, and instead of people, she only has protocol before her eyes. He really hopes they'll get to Kono first.

()()()

She's sitting there covered with blood, with a dead body at her side. She is shaken but she holds herself together. He really can't help the pride he feels when he sees her, looking straight before her, still in character when all the people who loves her closing in on her with drawn guns.

It takes him a few seconds to gain control on his nervousness and to realize that he has her there, near him, alive, and safe, and this is how Lori manages to almost have her cuffed. Only she's here now, under his wing, so he will be the one to make decisions from now on, thank you very much. He shoves Lori off of her in a swift motion and pulls Kono to the car, without a word. He can see Danny and Chin fastening their guns back in their holsters, looking relieved.

()()()

They drive to HQ, and he keeps staring at her anxiously, because she doesn't say anything, staring forward on the road, with a blank expression, and he wonders how much damage this whole thing have caused her. Caused them.

He reaches his hand to touch her cheek gently, pushing a strand of black hair behind her ear, and she cries. her tears are spilling silently on her face, and on his hand, and he can see her shiver with pain, and exhaustion. He lets her do it, without interruption, caressing her face and her shoulder gently, without saying a word. He can't. He's choked up as it is, and he's afraid to let it all go out now, when she obviously needs him to be the strong one for a while. Especially when he realizes this awful mess is still far from over.

()()()

She wants to wait to Fryer, and he just can't fucking believe it. She's back in 5-O now, she's home, she should lose the act and the misguided loyalty to this asshole and concentrate on closing the damn thing, but she wants to continue. She sits there quietly, and notifies him that she's going to see Delano down, if it's the last thing she does. He shouts at her that, comes to think of it, in this poor excuse of a police investigation, this will probably be the last fucking thing she does. When he thinks about cuffing her again, and throwing her ass to the god damn jail cell, until she gets her senses back, Chin's leveled voice calms him down and allows him to back off, allows them both to do it.

He stands there, in the back, leaning on the wall, and listens to Chin's loving voice when he speaks to her and asks her to cooperate. The two cousins look at each other lovingly, and he hears her answering to Chin in a calm and trusting manner, that makes him envious again. He's so envious, he forgets Chin doesn't know what's happening here actually. He's about to step in and let Chin in on the whole thing, when that fucker Fryer steps in, so he has to continue with the act.

There's a big commotion when Fryer makes his announcement and they all get up to speed on the situation. The relief he sees on Chin's and Kono's face when he takes charge on the operation and starts ordering everybody, like in any other case, is the most beautiful thing he'd seen in his life. Kono even smiles. It's a tired, short lived, tight little smile, but it counts. This is why the right hook that drops Fryer to the ground, is not nearly as hard as it should have been.

()()()

There's a single moment when the gun shots are heard from within the bank when he feels his blood freezes in his veins. He bursts in, finding her lying on the ground, near the elevator, and he rushes towards her, nauseated with fear. He picks her up much too quickly than he should, and she groans with the pain. He is so relieved that she only has a small flesh wound to her arm, that he just drops there on the floor, sitting next to the wall holding her against him.

"Steve, you're strangling me" she moans, fighting to breath, within his grasp, and it makes him laugh, because she's alive, and now it's really over and, he could just... kiss her. It takes him a few moments to realize that he basically can... kiss her... if he wants to... and he does want to, so he does, and after she gets a grip on what he's doing, she stops fighting, and kisses him back, deeply, and thoroughly and she holds his head between her palms and slides her tongue into his mouth and he engulfs her waist with both his arms, capturing her inside them, not letting her to escape. Ever. By the satisfied sound she makes and the way her legs pins him down to the floor beneath her, it looks like she's not going anywhere.