What's On Your Mind
Summary- Harry has never been one to argue and complain, he has always found a way to cover up his emotions. But at a time when his emotions are unstable and he feels completely defeated a little riot starts up between the Golden Trio. Things are revealed and things are regretted. Will it lead to the separation of the best of friends or will they grow to understand eachother better? Set after the event of the fifth book in the Gryffindor common room.
Oh and yes, there is some swearing.
Disclaimer- I-don't-own-Harry.
*cries for 10 years*
Red and orange flames burned in the Common Room hearth, casting an eerie glow across the red carpet. The eldest years were huddled around tables and chairs in a desperate attempt to finish their homework. The more practical students were either in their rooms or relaxing in the heat.
"Ah, dammit."
Harry glanced up from his parchment to look at Ron who was scowling at his quill in frustration. Ink was spattered across his assignment and Harry almost snickered at the sight.
"I told mum these quills were shit.' He growled in agitation, dabbing carefully at his ruined paragraph. Hermione glared at him.
"Language, Ron.'
"Yes mother." He rolled his eyes at her. "Harry do you have a quill I could borrow?"
Harry shrugged and went back to working. Ron frowned at him. "What's up with you?" He hadn't meant for it to sound offensive but it turned out as more of a snarl than expected. A few Gryffindors looked at him in surprise.
Hermione kicked Ron under the table. Harry hadn't said anything but seemed to be glaring at his parchment as if willing it to set alight.
"No really," Ron pressed, "You've been acting so moody lately."
"Ron…" Hermione warned, looking startled at her friends tone. Ron ignored her, instead leaning closer to his best friend.
"You never act like this Harry. You can barely take a joke anymore." By now the Common Room was silent and they were all staring at the pair, some of them shaking their heads warningly at Ron. Ron just sneered at Harry's silence.
"What? Has all this attenti-"
"Shut up." Harry muttered under his breath, in a quite but dangerous tone. The Gryffindors surrounding them looked shocked at the change in Harry's mood. Hermione opened her mouth but the anger in Rons eyes made her think twice about interfering.
"What did you say?" Ron leered. Harry's hands balled into fists.
"I said, 'Shut up.' He said loudly, standing up and making his chair fall backwards. Ron did the same, towering over Harry due to the few centimetres difference of hight. But the fire in Harry's eyes and the magic that crackled in the air showed that it was anyone's game.
"What's all this about? Your so jumpy and insecure all of a sudden." Ron asked. It might have been a concerned question but his tone and stance said otherwise. Hermione but her lip.
"Maybe this isn't such a good idea… Why don't you calm dow-" She suggested firmly. Harry turned to her.
"You can shut up as well." Normally a echo of 'Ohhhh!'s would have travelled across the room, but the atmosphere remained tense.
"Don't you start on her!" Snapped Ron. For a second Harry's angry mask slipped and an expression of hurt crossed his face. Ron seemed a little guilty for a moment.
"I thought…" Began Harry in a slightly hurt tone but then snarled: "I see how it is! You go defend her you slippery little prat."
"Stop being such a git-"
"Shut up! Just shut UP you arrogant little prick!"
"Oh so I'm arrogant! I'm the one that's been moping about feeling sorry for themselves?"
"You've never thought about how anyone else feels, have you?" The question made Rons mouth snap shut, he glared at Harry.
"What do you mean by that?" He said icily. Harry was now shaking from all the anger he had built up over the years.
"You've never thought about how anyone else feels! It's always you! You, you you, you, you! That's all you've ever thought about! Not how another person feels! Not how I feel! Don't you get it? You're lucky! You always banter on about how you're some kind of victim but have you ever thought about me? Have you ever thought about how jealous I am of you?"
Ron looked taken aback, "Me!" He cried, "Why would you be jealous of me?"
"Alright then, I'm taking you wouldn't mind if I kill your parents then." Ron looked furious.
"What do you mean I wouldn't mind?!"
"I'm an orphan, Ron."
Ron looked annoyed as he realised his friends point, "I know that." He said through gritted teeth.
"You've never once thought about how that makes me feel, have you? Oh no. You think it's all sunshine and rainbows for me! The famous Boy-Who-Lived wishing he had died instead of them, how ridiculous!" The room seemed to gasp in inusion.
"Not once have you thought about how I feel when your talking about how annoying your family is! I would give anything! Anything! Just to have that. Just to have someone who listens to me and loves me. But you just take that for granted."
Hermione had tears running down her face. She looked torn between the two.
"And now," Harry continued shakily, "Now the thing that matters the most to me is gone. The only person that felt like a parent to me is gone! He's dead Ron! Don't you see how that makes me feel?" Harry's voice faded into a hoarse whisper, "So don't you give me this 'caring friend' shit, because it's just lies. If you cared than you would have realised."
Ron didn't answer for a second and he almost looked as if he were going to apologise but he stood his ground. "Maybe I have realised! I don't just have to show my emotions all the time! And anyway, if family is the only foot stone you have in this argument then give up, Harry."
"Oh, so do you my life is fair now? You think everything I've been through doesn't matter! I have a great life, right? I mean money and fame! Just set aside the fact that a fucking maniac wants to murder me, a phsycopath Death Eater entered me into a fucking Death-Tournament, I've been called a bloody insicure attention seeker who is a danger to people around me, I've been shunned by my closest friends, everyone I fucking care about is dead and for the past fucking year I've been carving lies into my own skin!" He shook his right fist in front of Ron's face and the sentence embedded into his hand glowed an eerie white.
"Oh and I so haven't got a scar that makes me see all the murder that Voldemort commits and it feels like a fucking axe has run through my skull every time he does! And I so haven't had to fight for my life every single fucking year. Oh no! Harry Fucking Potter is living the dream! Nothing bad happens to him! He is so loved! He totally doesn't live with a bunch of muggles who don't give a shit about his well being!" Harry was panting by the end of this.
"I know all that, Harry." That seemed to make Harry even angrier.
"So all this time you've realised how I feel yet it never crossed you to actually do something to comfort me? I would fucking die for Ron! I would do anything to see you safe because in all truth I do care about you and I do think your great and I'm so thankful that we met, but I fucking hate your attitude sometimes! The world doesn't revolve around you, grow up!" And with that he turned on his heel and made for the door.
"Well it doesn't revolve around you either!" Shouted Ron. It made Harry spin around to face him, danger burning in his hollow, emerald eyes. Ron looked fuming.
"You're ideas almost got us killed! In fact it did get someone killed! Maybe you should have stopped and listened to what we had to say before you dragged us out there!"
Harry's figure changed completely at this. His ready stance slumped in exhaustion and sadness. His eyes no longer held fury but a deep, screaming pain and grief. He no longer looked like a fully fledged wizard but a hurting boy. A boy that had been through things that no one in the room could contemplate. He looked defeated.
Hermione looked utterly betrayed at what Ron had said, she hurried over to Harry and reached out a hand but Harry was at the door in a flash.
"He doesn't mean it, Harry! He's just angry, please don't go!" The whole of the Common Room was watching bewilderment as the trio, the three friends who had been through everything together, fell apart. Harry was through the portrait in a swirl of robes.