A/N: Long time no see! Yes, I'm still around. Had a busy November with my NaNoWriMo fic. I won, by the way, and since it's a House fic I will be posting it here once I get it edited and revised. Anyway, this is a fic I wrote for Fox_LAS over on Live journal. The prompt was: [character] blows up their computer. Enjoy! And remember, reviews are love!
Disclaimer: I do not own House or any of the characters. Some of the lines used in this fic are theirs too.
Kaboom!
"Got a problem with the naked female form?" House inquired of the new doctor that stood motionless behind him.
"Not at all."
"Maybe she's just not used to seeing it spooning with the naked dolphin form," Thirteen smirked, as she looked highly amused.
"That's not a dolphin. It's a porpoise. There is a difference you know. Salary, for one thing." House paused the video and turned his attention to the fellows. He really wanted to get back to what he was watching, but he was also annoyed. The video quality had been crap lately. All the porn sites were turning to High Definition, and House's office computer was not towing the line. He couldn't remember the last time he watched a clip that wasn't choppy because of the hospital mainframe was slow.
At the end of the day, he went back to his favourite site and it froze his system. "God damnit! What does a guy have to do to watch some lesbian action these days?" With that, he packed up his things and left for the day.
After he'd eaten, changed into his lounging clothes, and got comfortable on the couch, he fired up his laptop hell bent on getting off to some decent porn. He wasn't picky by any means, but he wasn't in the mood for the same old, same old, either. He came across one site, Russian Barely Legal Lesbians and felt a twinge of intrigue.
"Now that's what I'm talkin' about," he grinned as he entered the site. There were a few free clips to wet his appetite but he needed more. However, his laptop had other ideas. House had been ignoring the constant alerts that his video card was not sufficient for the quality of the clips.
It wasn't High Def but it was decent quality.
He entered his credit card information and hit "submit," mere seconds away from what he hoped to be a very good evening.
Or at least, that was the plan.
Because of the microwave popcorn he'd burned earlier, House wasn't aware at first of the burning smell emanating from the back of the laptop. Sure, it felt hot as he used the touch pad to navigate through the site, but it always heated up fast when porn was involved.
He found the desired clip and placed the computer on the coffee table.
Another alert popped up and he absent-mindedly closed the window once again as he stared at the action in front of him. It was getting to the good parts and he was thoroughly engrossed in the three women on screen.
Suddenly, the screen went black with what could only be described as a loud popping sound as the laptop began to smoke from the back.
"What the..."
More smoke began billowing out of the air vents on both sides of the machine and the sound of sizzling wires and more popping made it very clear to House that something was very, very wrong. His laptop was literally having a meltdown and the last sounds he heard was the motherboard slowly taking its last breath before it completely failed and died.
House sat there, completely shocked and yet somehow amused. "Death by porn. Damn. But what a way to go!"
The end.