Rick Grimes, born Lord Richard Jeffery Grimes, swirled the cognac around in his glass, watching the light from the fireplace dance on the surface of the liquid.
"It's quite remarkable really, 100 pounds a year…" a portly man with grey hair spoke over the wood crackling in in the fireplace. Rick nodded absent minded, allowing his father to believe that he had any interest in the discussion at all.
A year ago, in this very parlor, the topic had been quite different but Rick was decidedly more invested in it.
Rick had been betrothed to Lady Lori Crumbley. Rick had been paired with her all of his life and last year Rick had believed they would be married. Rick had no reason to believe they wouldn't be. Since Rick had been very young and the two families had conceived the idea – the obedient, dutiful son that he was – didn't question it or fight it. Rick pursued his education and even joined his majesty's royal guard.
Rick courted Lori as soon she came out into society. Everyone knew Rick and Lori were matched since birth. Rick purposed after the appropriate length of their courtship and Lori with a small, sweet smile accepted his hand in marriage.
Rick had to serve the royal guard and was away quite frequently away but he and Lori exchanged letters often.
"It's a new adventure for us Rick, for you. A promising one…Jamaica!" his father continued, sipping generously from his own cognac.
A new adventure Rick thought to himself. Rick had been through enough adventures. His travels and missions in service to the Crown provided him plenty of adventures. Rick would always treasure his time there, would always be grateful for the experience service has afforded him. Rick wanted a family of his own.
That's what he had been working toward. A family of his own. His own parlor. His cognac. With Lori. Lori had been very much like Rick, a dutiful, obedient daughter to her parents. A loving fiancé to her man in the royal guard.
In her letters to Rick, who was serving a 3-year expedition on behalf the crown in India, had wanted the same things he had. A beautiful estate of her own. A lush garden to have long walks in. Children. A son to carry on the Grimes name. However, Rick would be just as happy with a little girl he wrote to Lori:
With my spirit and your sweet disposition.
Lori had written back; her words had expressed the same enthusiasm as his own.
Rick felt the shift in their relationship. His last year away from her. Hell Rick had felt it when he had come home for Christmas but he ignored it.
Rick ignored it when he came home in the spring last year on this very day to discuss his plans for marriage with his father.
The weather was lovely and his father had summoned him from the garden. A small group of his friends had gathered to play games, enjoy music, and frolic in the outdoors.
Lori was there of course and his best friend for all of his life Shane Walsh. The Walsh and Grimes families were as thick as thieves and had been for decades. Nearly every generation of Walsh and Grimes men served the crown, that is until Shane opted to not enlist. Shane decided to pursue law instead. While this devastated Shane's father at the time, it proved to be a lucrative decision for Shane. Shane moved to London and was the most respected and eligible bachelor there.
Shane was not without charm. He was routinely pursued by Duchesses and Ladies alike but expressed no interest in any woman beyond having a little bit of fun.
"Hurry back" Shane had called after Rick, "You're going to miss being serenaded by an angel."
Lori giggled, a blush arose from her décolletage to her cheeks.
"You're are too kind, Shane but I fear you may have gone done deaf or dumb to mistake my voice for that of an angel's."
Shane laughed heartily. "Ah my Lady, my hearing is still as impeccable as the day I was born. Just as I can hear the sparrows chirp over the insufferable melodies Carol plays" Shane said, gesturing toward their friend Carol who played the pianoforte on the balcony, "I can hear an angel when she sings."
Shane fixed his eyes momentarily on Lori's, whose eyes had widened during his speech, her breathing hitched.
Shane noted his words had an effect on her with a smile and turned toward to Rick.
"So hurry back, yes." Shane's eyes glittered with amusement.
Lori reached for her tea, her eyes downcast, and then looking back at Rick "yes my dear please hurry. She sipped her tea and glanced quickly at Shane who smiled at her and turned his attentions back to Carol.
"I shan't keep you waiting, my dear." Rick said as he went into the house to speak with father.
The wood crackled in the fireplace, Rick swirled his cognac some more but didn't sip, hadn't swallowed the liquid since his father had poured them the drink nearly 30 minutes ago.
"It's a fairly new settlement but we have friends who have been there for years who we will go into business with. They will assistant us and with our business acumen we shall add another successful venture to our name." Andrew Grimes said, finishing his cognac and standing to pour himself another.
Rick had returned to assignment in India. Lori wrote that she was staying in London with her cousin's family. Lori quite liked the city.
It would be fun to live there, she had written. There is a party or play almost every night. A lot of our friends live there now. Shane has said he could you get a position with the constable. Shane knows just about everyone.
So many people there, it would be noisy. What about our quiet walks in the garden? Rick had written back. London would hardly have a garden as lush as ours.
"Yes, yes, my dear boy" his father said, sitting down on the large elegantly upholstered arm chair opposite his son.
"Jamaica's rife with new possibilities for the Grimes family." His father took a sip from his cognac. "I just know it."
Rick had known. He wasn't blind. Rick knew Lori was caught up in Shane's charms. Rick had witnessed women waiting with bated breath for Shane to turn his attentions on them. Their faces flushed. Eyes sparkled up at him all the time.
What Rick hadn't noticed, not at first, was that Lori effected Shane the same way. Shane's eyes didn't openly sparkle and no blush painted his cheeks but his heart would beat just a little bit faster, his mouth would suddenly be as dry as the desert, and his palms would sweat in her presence.
They grew up together, obedient, dutiful children, with Rick and Lori destined to marry. With Shane and Rick destined to carry the tradition of serving the crown. Shane couldn't do it. Shane was in love with Lori. Shane is in love with Lori. While his obedient and dutiful best friends would marry, Shane just couldn't be another obedient, dutiful friend and son. So Shane tried to distance himself, pine away for the one woman he really wanted in peace.
Who would have dreamed that the always obedient and dutiful Lady Lori Crumbley would ever return Shane's affections? Certainly not Rick.
When I return and I am able to be with her everyday she'll remember what we had both wanted, Rick had thought.
A month before Rick was to complete his service he received a letter from Lori, his parents, and Shane. Upon reading Lori's letter he knew the subjects of the other two. Lori had ended their engagement a month before he was to return home and two months before their wedding.
Lori had fallen in love with Shane. Lori is in love with Shane. They would marry in two months' time.
It was quite the scandal but due to both Shane and Lori's positions in society, as well as Rick's absence, no one dares shun them.
In fact, the chatter was that Shane and Lori were a lovely couple, perfectly matched. They quickly became the toast of London. Once the Crumbley family saw this only bettered their family positions they quickly embraced the Walsh family. The Walsh and Crumbley families were always courteous to one another, friendly, but it was the Grimes family who truly held them all together.
It was. Seemingly overnight the Grimes family friendships with the Crumbley and Walsh families cooled. Still courteous and polite, perhaps even friendly, but decidedly more distant than ever before.
Rick didn't return home with his fellow men in arms. Rick stayed in India for the next two months. Having never been one to partake in the brothels like his comrades during their missions in India or elsewhere, unfaltering in his loyalty to Lori, Rick found himself spending every evening with a different courtesan. Desperately wanting to quell the emptiness and loneliness that plagued him.
So Rick stayed in India to help oversee the British settlement that had been erected there. By day he would manage the day to day operations of a British post on foreign soil and by night a lovely woman from the brothels would warm his bed. After Rick had taken these women. He would lie beside them while they slept, sleep eluding him, listening to them breath.
Rick would pretend they were Lori. That he and Lori had married and moved into the estate he had spent years renovating for them. The home sat empty in the country. The furniture they had picked out was now covered in sheets of white linen to prevent the dust from ruining its delicate fabrics.
The staff of 30 who had been hired to help run the future Grimes household had been reduced to just 5 people to keep the cobwebs at bay and to prevent the gardens from overgrowing. The same garden he had imagined long peaceful walks with Lori in.
After a while Rick would remember Lori's words from her last letter:
I thought about ignoring this Rick. I thought about pretending I felt nothing for Shane. You and I shared something special, don't ever question that my dear, but it wasn't what I felt for Shane. It was the most overwhelming feeling, Rick. I had a wedding dress fitting and as I stood there in that dress, the dress I was to commit my life to you in, I felt such dread. I cried and cried. My muscles ached so from the sobs. Grandma Anna, you know how wise she is Rick, she shooed everyone away, held me close and asked why I was so sad. I didn't know at the time. I was doing everything my parents wanted of me. I was doing everything you wanted of me. I wanted to do what was expected of me. Grandma Anna looked at me Rick and asked "What do you want for you?" You and I have never asked ourselves this question. That is something quite kindred about us. Did you truly want me Rick? What do you want for you?
Rick no longer longed for Lori. He had never had any aspirations outside of those decreed to him since birth. Now was his chance to find out what he really wanted for his life and it terrified him. A month after Shane and Lori wed Rick received a letter from his father asking him to come home.
Rick sat there now, swirling his father's cognac in his glass.
"So my dear boy can I expect you to come along with me? It might do you some good." Andrew Grimes looked at his son then. Rick's father had eyes that perfectly mirrored his own and they gazed with uncertainty at his only offspring.
Rick finally looked away from his drink, he stopped swirling the amber liquid and looked at his father.
What do you want for you?
Rick swallowed his cognac finally, the warm sensation a welcome feeling to the emptiness that plagued him.
"Yes father."