The whispers
With her eyes closed, she laid on her large sized poster bed.
She only had a little time left to their leaving to Solheim. She would go there with her cousin.
It was an very important meeting, in detail it would be the last peace-conference at all.
She was afraid about the future. She was afraid of what was going to come, about the coming war.
The cold war lasted now for more than five years and it was getting more and more worst, day by day.
She was more afraid of the future of her kingdom than of her own destiny.
More afraid than of the light on the night sky.
She opened her eyes and stood up, just to look over to the window and the night sky behind it.
She walked over and pushed the window open for breathing the fresh, clear air from outside.
Her golden hair shimmered by the light of the rising moon on the black cover of the night.
It was her favorite time of day, the twilight hour with the last gleam of a setting sun, the rainbow colors on the horizon, the rising night in the form of a sky getting more and more blue until midnight.
The first stars sparkled on the cover of the night, shimmering in a silver light.
Seeing herself in the reflexion of the windowpane, she sighed annoyed.
"Damn.", she hissed to her mirror-self and walked over to her wardrobe.
She took a look closer to her and realized once again how much she hated her outward appearance.
All the others said that she would look like a star but the rather compared herself with a foolish little dormouse. She was nothing more than that little animal.
When she saw in her mirror, she looked at a petite figure with milky skin, with big, sad looking eyes which had the color of lavender and long, golden hairs. She hated everything but she hated her smile the most.
It was the expression of how false she really was.
Her real smile never reached her lips when she was at home. Home was not really home for her.
It was more or less a prison.
They threat her like she would be a little dog. A particular important dog, of course.
But they hit her when she did something wrong, and they stroke her when she did something right.
She has got scars all over her body because of them, but also because of her fights.
The color of her choice for tonight was white.
It symbolized Innocence, Light, Hope, Peace, Pleasure and a pure Soul.
She loved the thought of being a pure soul also she knew she is not. She is no pure soul. She is not innocent. She is not bright. Not even lovable.
A few moments later a knocking noise awoke her from her pitiful thoughts.
She answered it with a toneless voice.
The tall girl that was stepping in her rooms went by the name of Nomen. She had black hears, silver shimmering eyes and a broad hollywoodlike smile on her full lips.
"Are you ready?", she asked with a cold-toned voice.
"Of course.", she looked to her and went a few steps closer to her.
"That's good.", said Nomen and reached out for her but she flinched away.
Nomen seemed a little disappointed but she did not say anything, just turned around and walked over to the door. Her cousin followed her right behind.
A few moments later they sat in the oversized, black car on their way to Solheim.
She tried to keep the largest distance between herself and her older cousin.
She would have liked the company of Lucis more than that of Nomen.
The reasons were not important at that moment.
Outside the windows buildings, citys and forests passed and she looked at them carefully like she would not want to miss one sight of it.
"Everything alright, little light?", Nomen asked her and she sounded like she would want to mock her.
"Everything alright.", she said coldly.
"Huh, hush, hush.", Nomen laughed. "Not that kind of annoying, little star."
No, she would not let Nomen provoke her. No. She would not let this happen.
Tonight was the only chance to save the peace! Her only chance!
She forced herself to calm down little by little until they arrived the borderline from Tenebrae to Solheim.
The silence around her was like a pressure to her and she felt sedated in some ways she could not understand. She did not even try to understand.
Nomen, who was still sitting next to her, looked like a statue. It was everytime the same when they had been invited to those meetings. First she was mocking and annoying and cruel and then she turned into a hard, superior, arrogant woman. She was the one to make the things clear, to show the others the opinion of their family in the one, right way. The violent way.
She sighted once again when she looked out of the window and up to the night sky where the sky shimmered and gleamed and sparkled...But they were not alone.
There was a shining light, much brighter than every star alone. Brighter than all of them together.
It could not be seen by Nomen or anyone of her family. Just she could see it. Only she could feel them.
The expiring souls, which wander to the entire land through that light.
She knew all stories they tell about the light and those who are able to see it.
But it did not help her at all. Because no one understood how she felt when she looked onto the night sky.
No one would be able to understand her at all. Nomen was the last one she wanted to talk with about it.
They arrived a few moments later and just in the moment the car stood still, she nearly jumped out of it. She hated this pressure...Nomen get off the car too and stepped forward to her.
"Okay, let's rock that thing.", she said and she sounded terrible ironic.
They went into the building and it seems like she just felt something but she did not really know what that was. Nomen was not able to realize this and so she went ahead, walked up the stairs to the first floor and did not even noticed that her cousin was not there anymore.
She just climped the last three stairs when her cousin turned in another direction.
The light seemed to guide her away from all the others.
She went to an elevator and drove it to the highest floor of that building.
When the door opened, she stepped she came to a long corridor, which had the form of crescent moon. There was no escape for her, there was no chance to take the control back to herself. She just walked and walked, her violet eyes turned into gold again and again.
She heard whispers inside her head and they reached her heart with what they said.
When she was a little child those whispers told her storys. Everytime when she laid on her bed, her small head buried in the blanked and with tears flowing over her cheeks, they told her to look happy and smile. And so she did. Her parents ordered the same. Smiling. So she learned it, that fake smile she hated so much.
When she knew that she was the one who had the control now, she stood in front of a stunning picture.
It showed the goddess, even without a description she knew it.
The one who caused her so much trouble and who will cause so much trouble in her near future.
She was fascinated by this figure like she was fascinated by this storys.
The whispers were silent, now, when she just stood there.
She did not noticed anyone around her until she felt this strange feeling again.
Even before she heard some footsteps, she knew that he was coming. It was the feeling of becoming complete, although she did not know that yet. She knew it because that feeling was getting stronger.
And so she turned around and smiled her real smile for the first time.
It was this warm, inexpressible feeling of completeness which was running through her veins in that moment.
That feeling released her smile. Not one of her polite smiles, neither one of her superficial, fake smiles.
It was one of those smiles that could light up a whole life in the moment it reached her lips.
She had not forgot him even though she was sure that he had forgotten her already.
But that did not matter.
She had felt his gaze onto her back while she has looked to the picture of the death goddess.
In that moment she could be certain that he knew her. Maybe he did not notice why it was like that.
She did not show him her mask that she used to hide her feeling behind.
No, she was just herself. Something that did not happen often.
He was the quiet one like he was it on that day.
It was not because he was shy, she guessed, because he simply was not shy. Maybe he was just wary or something like that.
She was not. Not really. Not of him.
When she was mistrustful of anyone, then of her family, especially of Nomen.
In her whole personalty she was not like him, she thought.
He was like the nightsky, in some ways. She knew that since the day they first met.
It was not just his dark hairs in combination with his blue eyes, it was the way he acted, he spokes.
But that was not the whole thing. She was sure that he was like the dark.
But not like the obscurity in that room she used to hate or like the eclipse around the goddess when their parents forced her to go there.
He was different.
She could not describe that in words.
Words were too weak. Too cheap.
They talked about the light.
He seemed to be not surprised because she could see it too. He dealt with it like it was usual to meet someone who could see the like often but she believed he was surprised.
Although that, she was not surprised by the fact, that he seemed to hate it too.
Each of them showed that hate in another ways, she transformed it into light and he transformed it into darkness. It was their way to handle it.
Because this gift was a burden, too and not a lightly one.
He seemed to take his burden as a particularly heavy one and she knew he had the rights to do so.
She wanted to help him but it was not that easily. Not really.
They stood on different sites. For their home countries sake.
She knew a lot about him on that peace-conference-day. He did not know a thing about her but she knew nearly everything, because this young man was just the biggest enemy of her family.
He was the protector of the last crystal. The crystal her family wished to have.
This was the cause of the coming war. Just this stone.
Sometimes she hated it that much. To be in that position.
He really did not memories her but she tried to take it not to her heart.
Maybe it was not his fault at all. She did not know that so how could she judge about it?
He asked for her name and she recognized a little, hidden smile on his face.
She was happy about it in some ways, too happy and that was the reason for her to say goodbye.
It wouldn't be good to stay there but after she took a few steps, she had to turn back to him.
The smile on her lips awoke anew, while she told him that she was glad to have got the chance to talk to him. His answer made her laugh in a soft way before she offered him to come to her homeland one day although she knew he would never do so. He could not except he wanted to be killed.
But she had to say it.
Because she wished that they could see each other again.
She hoped for it like she hoped for the peace and no one would ever grant her these wishes.
The one of being with him was simply forbidden. It could not be.
Her family would not want that. They would not allow it in any ways. Never.
The other one was an unattainable wish too. Her clan planed the war for over four years now.
All their visits to those conferences were a strategic play for them.
And she was just a puppet.
The doll of her family.
Maybe a shooting star.
No, it could not be like that! There was another way!
She would never accept her destiny like that.
She was not born to become a war-bringing monster at all.
The whispers kept on cheering her up, giving her hope, but they could not stop it.
They could not make it undone what just happened.
What had happened this long time ago on that day in the meadows.
They could not make her forget him. But that was never one of the things they wanted.
They wanted to give her hope but they could not stop the feeling of incompleteness rising in her heart.
Again she felt alone.
Again she felt imperfect.