I think I've fallen in love with Chris Evans- which is not a good thing. Started watching Marvel movies and damn, he's fine as hell. Captain America is temptation at its finest, I swear to God. Okay so since I've begun to like him I decided to watch one movie with him in it, called "What's your Number?", hence my story title. Based on this. Greatly. Like, I took most of the plot from it but have added Jackunzel. Now, this story is going to explicitly mention sexual things. Not full-blown smut, it's just going to be references. Plus Rapunzel's gotten around a bit. Not that she's slutty at all, because the real slut in here is Jack, which you'll learn a little about in this chapter. However, the first chapter doesn't have much Jackunzel. That's where the other chapters come in- so, first, before you read this- if anyone reads this- then just be warned: explicit content (I don't think it's M rated, like far from it, but it shall touch sensitive subjects). Plus, Jackunzel is ruining my life. That's all. Erm- sorry it's ooc I tried, I tried to so hard to get characters down but I can't. I'm no good at that. I'm rambling. God.
Rapunzel frantically woke up in the morning to her boyfriend's obnoxious snoring and rays sunshine hitting her face through the drawn blinds. His hand was on her cheek and his brown hair had fallen over his eyes as his chest heaved with each noisy exhale of breath. Carefully, Rapunzel scooted over and laid his hand on her pillow.
Quietly, she slipped out from under the covers as stealthily as she could, bare feet careful to touch the carpet floor without making a noise, toes sinking into the plushy cream color. Next to her bed, she snatched up her favorite purple hairbrush and made a mad, silent dash to her bathroom on practically her tiptoes.
The day-after face was not really a look she appreciated. Tangled hair that went every which way, smudged makeup from the previous day, dark bags under her eyes and disheveled clothing that did not make her look radiant or confident and Rapunzel hated to appear less than composed in front of Nod.
A rinse of her face, a coat of mascara, a run through her golden locks with the brush and she looked more desirable. She brushed her teeth quickly (morning breath was not cool) and dabbed a light sheer of lip gloss on her lips.
Satisfied, Rapunzel scrutinized herself in the mirror. Hair that fell to her waist and was the color of sunshine, green eyes that looked large with her mascara, slim figure clad in boy shorts and a sports bra. Not agreeable, but better than before.
As smoothly as she left, she climbed back into bed, hopeful. Just as Nod began waking up, she pretended like she was barely waking herself, fake yawning and turning to him with a smile.
"You always look so perfect in the morning," Nod smiled at her exhaustedly.
"Really?" Rapunzel tried to sound touched, like it was her natural beauty he respected.
"Really." He pushed the blankets off himself and stretched, sinewy arms flexing and stomach muscles constricting. "I have to get to work soon."
"I'll make breakfast," Rapunzel offered, scooting out of bed.
"I'll take a quick shower." Nod kissed her briefly on the lips and fumbled into her bathroom.
"Whew," Rapunzel muttered to herself, thankful that Nod wasn't the smartest guy, because he had been fooled by her morning routine again.
She'd always had self-image struggles, just because everyone she knew was in a happy, committed relationship and she was stuck with Nod, or as her friends called him, "the freaky conservative vegan". That was why she tried to look perfect when he woke up to see her, so that he wouldn't get tired of her, and honestly, she had been with him for a while and wanted the relationship to deepen. She always tried to make it work with him, she did. She'd recently stopped using her air conditioner ("Energy," Nod had said, "Is going to such waste on these foolish machines."). She'd stopped buying meat because he didn't eat it and believed that no one else should. She also avoided taking long showers when he stayed over as he deemed them "a waste of water", and had also sold her car and began to rely on public transportation. (Probably the worst one of them all if she said so herself).
Ripping open a packet of weird sausage things that had no meat in them but he still liked, she laid brown patties on a slowly heating griddle and started tossing a salad.
His showers were quick as always, three minutes or less, because he rushed. Yes, he was a bona fide nature freak. Rapunzel just told herself it was part of her charm. Here was a respectable guy who obviously cared, deeply, obsessively, over something. Who's the say he wouldn't be the same in their relationship?
A nagging part of her, though, did tell her otherwise. That Nod had never really been doting on her, just on saving the earth. That the relationship was doomed to be friends-with-benefits and nothing more. Rapunzel, however, chose to believe that if she tried to be the woman Nod wanted, that their relationship would become something more.
"I've got to go," Nod came into the kitchen, strapping a green bike helmet to his head.
"But I just made breakfast," Rapunzel pouted at the dishes she'd laid down at her small wooden table.
Wordlessly, Nod sat down and began to inhale the food like he'd never eat again.
Rapunzel sat at his side, deciding to bring up the topic of her upcoming sister's wedding to him while he was eating.
"Oh, you know, Anna's getting married," she tried to make it sound nonchalant. "I was wondering if you'd go with me. Like a date."
His silver fork scraped her plate harshly. "What?" he said, hoarsely. "I don't know- will your parents be there?"
Rapunzel bit back the urge to say that she only had her mother but managed to bite back sarcastically, "You know, I think they might go." It was only her mother's niece that was getting married- a niece that was an orphan- so technically Rapunzel's mother was the closest thing Anna had to a mother figure- but hey, Nod, maybe she'll stop by the wedding for a few minutes.
"Well- it's nothing personal, Rapunzel," Nod stood up and left his empty plate, reaching for his energy efficient mountain bike right next to her apartment door. "Maybe we should call it quits. It's a little serious for me."
"What?" Rapunzel's eyes grew wide, green orbs visibly crushed. "But- I thought it was serious last night when you said-" I love you.
Nod caught on, daft as he was, and shrugged. "Oh, that was nothing. I mean, everyone says it, right? It doesn't always have to mean something."
Rapunzel was still dumbstruck as he went to her door, numbly watching as her now ex-boyfriend wheeled his bike out through the apartment entryway.
"Hey," Nod continued, pausing as she stood in the doorframe and willed tears not to come, "If you ever need a quick hookup, give me a call."
Vegan boyfriend officially become a vegan asshole.
Then the asshole nodded at her like she was the lucky one in the arrangement.
Rapunzel wanted nothing more but to slam the door in his face and weep over another botched relationship, but he walked down the stairs and the door across the hall from her opened.
Of course someone just had to witness her humiliation.
Her neighbor Jack Frost lived in the same apartment as she did, hence the title neighbor, but Rapunzel hardly talked to him unless it was a cordial greeting.
The only thing she knew about him was that with his ice blue eyes, pleached white hair, and lean body, he was a womanizer that simply oozed sex. He was attractive, had a winning smile, and brought a different woman home practically every night.
Rapunzel's cheeks blushed a deep red when she saw him.
"Morning," Jack said casually, gathering his newspaper on his doormat and acting like he was wearing clothes. Which he wasn't. A hand covered his private areas with a dishrag. A dishrag, for Christ's sake. It wasn't even wrapped around his hips and she could see every dip and curve of his chest and the enticing V-shape his pelvic bones made. Then, God, he had to lean against his doorframe and jut his chin in greeting. That dishrag kept slipping lower...
"M-morning," Rapunzel looked away from him, mentally cursing herself for acting like a prude in front of a mostly naked man. She'd slept with people before, yes, but none of her previous lovers were ever... No. Bad thoughts, Rapunzel. She backed up into her apartment and shut her door with a quick bang.
Newly single for the first time in three months and she was going to be late for work to make matters worse.
Now regretting selling her car, Rapunzel caught a bus and went into the office only a few minutes late, panting but smoothing down her office attire before retiring in her cubicle.
She hadn't had time to shower that morning due to Nod, but she had showered the night before, and so she'd gathered her long hair into a professional bun at the nape of her neck, a crisp white blouse, and a dark black pencil skirt with matching black pumps. Yes, she was ready for the tiresome day of work in front of her-
"Rapunzel, please come into my office."
Her boss walked past her desk and said this so quickly she was sure she imagined it, but she quickly stood up and followed him into his office- an actual office with large glass windows and expensive wooden chairs and desk that smelled good- before sitting at a plushy leather chair in front of him.
"Yes?" Rapunzel smiled tentatively, knowing that seeing her boss early in the work day was never a good sign.
Pitch Black was her boss and one of the most intimidating men she knew. Black hair slicked back with so much product she could see the comb marks, intense amber eyes, and an unhealthy-looking grayish skin tone, he looked like The Lord of Death himself. He ended a phone conversation and folded his hands together and shot a quick glance at Rapunzel before busying himself with more trivial matters.
"Ms. Corona, our marketing team has been suffering from budget cuts recently, and I regret to inform you that you're being let go."
Rapunzel gaped, eyes blinking. Of everything that had been going wrong today, it had to be that. Yes, the day was going fan-freaking-tastic. "I'm- fired?"
"It was not my decision to make, you see," Pitch kept talking, looking bored, flipping through stacks of paper on his desk. "There was really nothing I can do. I do hope you don't hold this personally."
"Who-who else is being let go?" Rapunzel managed to ask, willing herself not to cry. It's not like she liked the job, but she did think of what her mother might say if she knew she'd gotten fired, and that was enought to send her into a state of shock. Her mother had always been so proud of Rapunzel, talking her ear off about the benefits of marketing-
"At the moment- just you."
Rapunzel left on the bus with a cardboard box of things from her cubicle in her lap.
Sitting next to an elderly woman who had no concept of personal space, Rapunzel sighed and took out her cell phone, deciding she might shoot Anna a phone call or text or something, because she desperately needed a friend at a time like this.
Anna picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"
"Anna," Rapunzel sighed in relief, "I need to talk to you."
"Rapunzel! Thank God you called. I have a crisis. Okay, so the engagement party- I invited Elsa but she never RSVP'd so I don't know if she's coming? Then, I know she won't come if Kristoff's family comes. You know she hates them. She's always talking about how they practice voodoo or something- and that they look like fat trolls. I mean, Kristoff's adopted, but it's still rude, isn't it? What should I do?"
Rapunzel began to fiddle with strands of hair, twisting and pulling them between her fingers. "I don't know, Anna. It's just that- I'm not sure if I should go to your engagement party tonight." Because I need to have a pity party of my own.
"What? Rapunzel, you have to go. You're going to be giving the speech for my toast because my older sister refused to do it. Elsa is such-"
"It's just that Nod and I broke up," Rapunzel admitted, wincing as she cut off her talkative cousin.
"What?! Oh, Rapunzel, do you want to talk about it?"
"No, I think-" Rapunzel took a sharp inhale of breath. "I think our relationship wasn't going anywhere anyway. It's probably for the best."
"Shoot, I thought you really liked this one. Well, just come to the party solo. Nod doesn't have to be a reason for not going!"
"Yeah, I guess," Rapunzel started shifting through the items in her box, deciding now was a good time as any to toss out junk.
"So, anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah, so I texted Elsa about the engagement party but she never really met Kristoff so-"
Nothing but lipsticks, crumbled papers, old Post-it notes that had things she needed to remember, a few crusty mascara wands, old makeup she left behind and lost.
"...and Kristoff never met Elsa, either, so he said that she could give the toast, and I never really told him about how we haven't talked since we were five and she was eight-"
Rapunzel decided to look through the papers just for the heck of it and unfolded an old magazine from last week, absent minded flipping of pages rustling.
"...Elsa denied Kristoff's Facebook request even though I specifically told her who Kristoff was, I mean, who does that?"
One article caught her eye in particular- "What your number says about you! Turn to page 37" and so she decided to read it. A lick to her fingertip and she found her reading material.
"...besides that, she was supposed to come help me go tablecloth shopping. She never showed up. Should your sister do that?"
The large pink bold letters caught Rapunzel's attention almost instantly. "The average amount of lovers a woman has is 10.5" it read.
Ten point five. Ten point five. Rapunzel's eyes frantically scanned the page, eyes wide. "Women who have twenty or more lovers have difficulty finding a husband."
"What? What did you say, Rapunzel?"
"N-nothing, Anna, I'll call you back," Rapunzel hung up the phone anxiously, shaking hands gripping the pages intensely. Ten point five? No, that wasn't- She practically shoved the magazine into the old woman sitting next to her's face, loudly saying, "Look!" Yes, she was desperate for someone to share her sorrow. "At the number!"
The woman read it in one glance. "Yes, I know. That number is much too high."
"High?" Rapunzel boggled. "It's too low! It's too- there's no way a girl can have ten lovers or less!"
The woman shifted away, muttering about the idiotic ideas of children nowadays.
Rapunzel kept looking through her box and found a piece of paper and an ink pen, deciding then she'd start a list of people she'd slept with to see her own number.
She kept writing it as she got to Anna's house.
She kept writing it as she sat in Anna's room, waiting for the bride-to-be to finish getting dressed.
She kept writing it as Anna yelled at Rapunzel to quit doing work related notes and "help her get in her dress, damnit".
"Hey, Anna," Rapunzel said, tightening Anna's peach colored bra straps for her, "What was the name of that weird boyfriend you had in high school? Y'know, the one that always wore a tacky fedora and scarf?"
"Once-ler?" Anna quirked her eyebrow.
"Yeah, that one!" Rapunzel took a quick moment to write the name down before finishing on Anna's underclothing.
"Why?" Anna questioned.
"N-no reason. Are you ready to go downstairs?"
Anna grabbed a fitted dark green dress that she had laid out over an armchair, admiring the outfit she'd chosen. She yanked it over her head, flailing, almost managing to tangle herself in both armholes. But that was just Anna for you.
"Now I'm ready," Anna gave herself a satisfied glance in the mirror, while Rapunzel retreated to the armchair and picked up her list. Running her hands down her sides, Anna's mouth twisted and she hummed. "Coming?"
"Go ahead, I'll catch up," Rapunzel started to count the names on her list.
"Don't be too long." Anna left her cousin there in the room.
"Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, nineteen-" Rapunzel counted the names on her list. "Nineteen?" Frantically, she reached for a bottle of wine that Anna had next to her vanity, clutching the tall clear bottle by the neck and pouring amber liquid into a glass. It was going to be a long night.
Somewhere along her fifth drink, she'd lost her shoes and started fumbling down the stairs to the engagement party. Taking a champagne glass from a passing busboy, she downed it in one gulp and stumbled among the guests.
"Rapunzel!"
Rapunzel dropped her empty glass onto a nearby table and turned to face her closest friends.
"Merida! Anna!" she said happily. "El-*hic*- Elsa!"
She hadn't seen Merida in years, it seemed. Time had treated her well. Her Scottish friend still had her fair, freckly complexion, wild red curls that she put some effort into taming back into a low ponytail, and the same rough smile, her healthy body wrapped in an adorable light green halter dress with silver heels that matched the dress's sparkly rhinestone bodice.
Elsa, in turn, was her older cousin that Rapunzel had seen rarely over the past year due to her isolation- she lived in her own apartment and focused on career too much to even pay anyone a visit. It seemed that her supermodel-worthy body had only gotten skinner, fully accented with a skintight, off-the-shoulder blue dress that shimmered with each of her movements and white pumps that made her seem taller.
Rapunzel, in comparison, had her hair pulled back into the bun from work and a tank top dress with a full skirt and no shoes. She knew she was no beauty queen compared to her friends, but she still smiled to see them.
"Rapunzel, are you- drunk?" Elsa was standing behind Anna and Merida, arms crossed, forehead creasing.
"Um- no?" Rapunzel said, like it was a trick question.
"Rapunzel," Merida scolded, but didn't mean it as a smile graced her face not a second later. "Yer finally livin' a little, lassie!"
"Merida," Elsa sighed, "You can't encourage her to drink."
"Oh, come on Elsa, when didja ever see innocent little Rapunzel drunk in high school?" Merida grinned.
"Uh-Rapunzel," Anna said. "The toast is soon, and-"
"I can give the toast," Rapunzel said, but she swayed to the side and almost tripped.
"Ah need tae see this," Merida's face was pure glee.
Elsa sighed again.
Just imagining Rapunzel, intoxicated, doing the toast, was a bad thought. Seeing her actually give the toast was something else entirely.
"I want to propose a toast," Rapunzel began solemnly enough, hair half-falling from her bun, glass shaky in her hands. "Kristoff and Anna have been together since, like, high school, and well, I never thought they'd get married. Mainly because Kristoff was a douche."
"Rapunzel," Elsa groaned from where she and Merida were seated on the couch. Meanwhile, the groom-to-be shrunk in his seat and Anna beamed.
"No- he wasn't a douche, my boyfriend was the douche. D'you guys remember Hans? But this isn't about me. Kristoff was just this weird loner dork that spent all school day by himself or with his freakin' ugly dog that he talked to- yeah, he talked to a dog- Anna used to drag me to the park so we could 'accidentally' bump into him and stuff-"
"This is perfect," Merida's smile was so large, it was hard to tell where it ended on her cheeks.
"This is a disaster," Elsa muttered.
Anna, however, just looked slightly uncomfortable at this turn of events, shooting her fiancé a shrug.
"They're gonna be happy together, or they should, 'cause they both deserve it. I think. Kristoff's not that creepy anymore. Anna told me he's built like a mountain-"
"Ah can't," Merida was wheezing in laughter, "It's tae much fer me."
Elsa massaged her temples in a vain attempt to stop listening to her younger cousin ruin an engagement party toast.
"So, let's hope that they live happily ever after- to Kristoff and Anna!" Rapunzel raised her glass, the party guests following suit, and it looked like the awkward speech was to an end...until Rapunzel tried to drink from her glass and ended up pouring it over her dress.
"Oh God, oh God, oh God," Elsa was repeating to herself over and over, Merida rushing to grab Rapunzel's arm and lead her away from the center of attention, Anna and Kristoff both just staring at her.
Away from the party, at the small bar area Kristoff had set up, Elsa, Merida and Rapunzel sat at a table.
"Never thought ah'd see the day when Rapunzel used the word 'douche'," Merida commented. "Or when she even called Kristoff a dork? I was the only one who called 'im that. She always told me tae be nicer to him-"
"She's drunk," Elsa said irritably, "She's higher than a kite and she ruined the engagement party."
"She didn' ruin it, she made it fun!" Merida crowed.
"Uf," Rapunzel planted her head on the cool glass surface of the table, "I messed up, didn't I?"
"Ye fucked up, lassie," Merida said gratefully. "Drinks all around!"
Elsa gave Merida a half-hearted shove. "Do not encourage her to keep drinking. Rapunzel, I know you're the sweetest, nicest girl ever who hardly ever drinks- how did this happen?"
Rapunzel mumbled into the table.
"What?"
"Nineteen."
"Nineteen what?" Merida cut in.
"Women with twenty or more lovers have difficulty in finding a husband."
"What?" Merida's brow furrowed.
"I've had nineteen lovers," Rapunzel muttered, twisting her head to the side. "Oww."
"Nineteen?" Elsa's eyes grew wide. "No. Not you. You're the purest, most angelic-"
"Skank!" Merida cried out in delight. "Ah knew she wasn' all innocent an' perfect-"
"Do you have to sound so offensive, Merida?"
"Ah said 'skank' in a nice way, Elsa..."
"No, Merida's right," Rapunzel moaned. "Am I easy? I sleep with guys because I think they're the right person for me and then it turns out they aren't and I'm soiled forever-"
"A little on the melodramatic side," Elsa said, "You are not easy. You're a romantic who seems to think that sex and love are interchangeable. I don't date anyone, and so that isn't a problem."
Merida snorted. "Or maybe it's cause ye've got a stick permanently stuck up yer arse-"
"Merida, please-"
"No, no, Elsa's right. Until I'm sure that I've found the right guy, number twenty, I won't sleep with anyone else," Rapunzel declared confidently.
"That's the spirit!" Merida said. "Now, go and get us some drinks from the bar. We're celebratin'."
"She's not sober enough for that," Elsa scolded, but Rapunzel went anyway, shifting through conversing people to face the bartender.
"Jack Daniels," she requested, "Full bottle." Before she could pay for it, someone beat her to it.
"I've got this." Her ex-boss handed a crisp bill to the bartender.
"Oh, thank you," Rapunzel said, and she finally seemed to notice who the person was. "Pitch?"
"Rapunzel."
"What are you doing here?" she asked, not caring if she came across as rude.
"Well, your friend Anna invited me, it'd be rude to decline," Pitch stuck his hands into his suit pockets. "I understand you're bitter about this morning, but I really did you a favor, Rapunzel. You never liked marketing. I could tell."
"I liked it fine," Rapunzel shrugged without much conviction.
"No, you didn't. Now you're free to find a new job, one you like." Pitch raised his eyebrows at the way she clutched the bottle to herself protectively. "Not planning on drinking that all by yourself, are you?"
"With some friends," Rapunzel said, deciding to cut her old boss some slack. (He had paid for a bottle she couldn't afford, after all). "Care to join us?"
"I suppose I could use a drink or two," Pitch stated.
"A drink or two" with an ex-boss is never a good idea. Especially when said ex-boss and former employee both get so wasted, they end up in a certain woman's apartment to end the night.