Disclaimer: All that jaz saying I don't own HnG
It was quiet. As quiet as it could be in a city house. Moonlight fell through his open window over his face and he could feel a slight breeze through his hair. Times like these were rare in his household. The pure bliss of being alone and to himself felt unnatural to Shindo Hikaru. Maybe he could get some sleep, if only for a few minutes. That was when the door burst open.
"Hikaru! Lets play a game!"
There it was. The reason for the chaotic mess that was the Shindo household. Shindo Sai, Hikaru's 12 year old twin. They looked exactly the same with short black hair, green eyes, and an ever a mischievous grin on their face. The only way to tell the two apart were their bangs. Last year Sai had convinced his younger brother, Sai had always referred to himself to being older, to get his bangs dyed with him. Sai's was a dark blue, nearly purple, and Hikaru had opted for a bleach blonde. Another way to tell them apart was their attitudes. Hikaru was always a loud mouth brat, according to their mother, and Sai was a ball of energy about to explode. Hikaru could never keep his brother to one spot. His constant bouncing around always gave Hikaru a headache. The only thing that calmed his older brother down was Go. A good thing too, or their grandfather would have had a heart attack years ago, if it wasn't for him teaching both Sai and Hikaru the game. But where Sai loved Go, Hikaru didn't. It was long, boring, and gave him as much as a headache as his brother did.
"Hikaru! Hikaru! Come on. Play a game with me," Sai began to shout as he started jumping on Hikaru's bed.
"No I don't want to!" Hikaru shouted back. "Just let me sleep."
"Nope not going to work." Said grabbed Hikaru's hand started to drag his little brother to his room to play. "Either your going to play with me or I'm going to tell Akari-chan you think she's cute"
Hikaru's face began to blush as he tried to pull himself back into his room. "But I never said that! I don't even like her she's just our childhood friend."
"So," Sai said as he dug in his heels at the door and with both hands and pulled Hikaru through it. "She won't know and will still think it's true. After all, she believes everything I say." Sai stuck his tongue out and with a last surge of strength was able to pull his brother out into the hallway.
"That's playing dirty! And besides, she likes you, not me." Hikaru decided to sit down. It's harder to drag a sitting person than a standing one he thought. But Sai would have none of it.
"Then I'll go tell Akari-chan right now," Sai called back to his brother as he made his way to the stairs. He didn't get two steps before Hikaru lunged after him and wrapped his arms around Sai's legs.
"Ok ok I'll play. But only one game...one!"
Sai immediately started jumping up and down, nearly stepping on Hikaru in the process. "Yay! We get to play, we get to play!" he sang as he skipped down the hall to his room. "Hurry up Hikaru!"
With a grunt Hikaru picked himself off the floor and followed Sai into his room, or as he liked to call it, the Go Room. There were only a few things in Sai's room. In the corner was a rolled up futon with a laptop sitting on top of it. On each wall were bookshelves, full of Go books, though one held only binders. The floor was a mess of scattered paper with what looked like finished Go games and a few books opened revealing even more games. Then there was Sai's most treasured possession. His Goban. It was a very old goban made of a dark red wood they had found in their grandparents attic. After he had learned how to play Sai persuaded their grandpa to give it to him. Well, persuade wasn't really the right term. It was more a 6 year old Sai crying a week straight. It seems tears were very persuasive when it came to grandparents. If only Hikaru had such luck in getting money out of their grandfather.
"Ne Sai, why do you like Go so much?" Hikaru asked his brother as he took a seat opposite on the Goban.
"Because look," Sai pointed at the board. "There are nine stones on the Go Board." He began to start putting black and white stones on the board. There was a distinct pachi sound as each stone touched the old kaya wood. "This is the universe! And I'm placing stones one by one on this universe; creating planets and stars." Said held up a stone in his hand and closed his eyes. A smile started to appear on his face, but when he opened his eyes again, there was a fire behind them that startled Hikaru. That didn't look like his brother at all. "It's like I'm a god. On top of this goban, I'm going to become a god."
"Wow a god huh?" Hikaru picked a stone up and looked at it. Could he be a god as well? It was weird; thinking about playing gods on a board game. "Well I guess I could be a god too right?"
"Yup!" Sai smiled cheerfully. "But before you start being a god, lay down six stones so we can start!" He had already taken off all the stones he had placed earlier on. "You never know, maybe we'll reach the Hand of God together," Sai said as he placed a white stone on the upper right corner. "But you'll have to get better first."
"The Hand of God?" Hikaru asked as he put a black stone near his brothers white. "First you talk about being a god, now it's the hand of god. Will you make up your mind already."
"Tsk tsk," Sai said as he placed another stone. "The Divine Move is what I'm looking for. I don't really know how to explain it. Both Hon'inbo Shusaku and Toya Meijin played Go looking for the Divine Move. Maybe once someone has found it they finally become a god on the Go Board."
"Hon'inbo Shusaku? Isn't that the dead guy your always talking about Sai?" The stones were starting to fill the board and Hikaru was having a hard time keeping track of them. He could feel a headache coming as well. Go always gave him a headache. He didn't know how people called the game fun. All he could see on the board were a sea of white and black stones starting to blur together. "What's so special about a dead guy that you can't stop talking about him whenever you get someone to listen to you."
"Shusaku isn't just a dead guy!" Sai slammed a white stone on the board. Hikaru was a bad player but he knew how to capture stones. If he didn't do something soon Sai would have a feast on the bottom left. "Shusaku was the best Go player ever! Even today, a hundred years after he had died, people study his games so they can learn something of his genius. Toya Meijin may be the best Go player of Japan but he's nothing compared to Shusaku."
"Oh really! I'll remember that if I ever meet Toya Meijin. I'll tell him you said that and see how he takes it." Hikaru's headache was getting stronger now. His eyes were starting to tear up from the pain and the sea of black and white in front of him was just adding to it. He really didn't like this game. "See how you like that!"
"Like you'll ever meet Toya Meijin. How can you tell him that if you'll never meet him?" Sai just finished killing off the bottom left and started picking up the black stones he had just killed. Really, Hikaru should be better than this. Even if he didn't like the game they both learned at the same time and he had always dragged his twin to his Go classes. What was up with him?
"ARGH! I quit!" Hikaru yelled as he fell on his back rubbing his head. Now that he wasn't looking at the Go board anymore his headache felt like it was going away. He closed his eyes and lay there rubbing his temple. He could hear Sai pick up the stones and put them away. What was it with this stupid game? He had no problem playing Shogi or any other games; just Go.
"Ne Hikaru. You'll come with me tomorrow right?" Sai asked his brother while placing the last stones in the go-ke. Tomorrow was a big day for him and he wanted to share it with his twin, even if Hikaru had no love for Go.
"To the Pro Exam right?" Hikaru asked while sitting up. "You aced the qualification rounds. Why do you need me to go with you to the actual exam? Just play the way you always do and you'll do fine."
"Just say you'll come with me Hikaru," Sai told his brother. He didn't know why but he felt that his brother should be there with him tomorrow. He had learned early on to trust feelings like this on the Go board. If it worked so well there, he was going to trust it again in real life.
"Sure sure. I'll come with you tomorrow. But for now I'm going to try and sleep." Hikaru decided to give in to his brother. There were some things you could fight Sai against, but Go was not one of them. "Make sure you clean all these papers up or mom will have your head."
"They're not papers their kifu!" Sai yelled as Hikaru left his room.
Hikaru let out a small sigh as he fell onto his bed. The headache was almost gone and he was tired from the massacre Sai had given him on the Go board. Soon Sai would be a Professional Go player. Grandpa had been telling Sai to try out for the exam for a years now but their mother had always gotten the last word in. She thought it was too soon for Sai to "become an adult" as she put it. To her both Sai and Hikaru were still kids. Well, she was right in one sense of the word. Hikaru still felt like a kid but Sai was a different matter. He had lost his brother six years ago to a Goban. Sai wasn't a kid anymore as far as Hikaru was concerned. Pushing his twin and Go out his thoughts Hikaru let his mind clear as he fell asleep.
It was a goban. He was sitting in front a goban. That's weird. Why would he be sitting in front of a goban? Hikaru lifted his head and on the other side was Sai. Well, he looked like Sai, but his brother was dressed in weird clothes. He was wearing what seemed to be a long white kimono with a yellow fan in his lap. On his head was weird pointy hat as well. And his hair! Sai would never wear his hair like that! It was the same color as his bangs, that dark blue nearly purple, and long like a girls. A breeze swept by the courtyard fanning Sai's hair behind him. Wait a minute? Courtyard? Indeed they were in a courtyard, much like one you would find in a palace. Every now and then the wind would pick up and orange and red leaves would flutter about.
"Are you ready to play, Hikaru?" His brother asked. It really didn't look like Sai at all. But one look into his brothers eyes and Hikaru knew it was his twin. They were the same eyes he saw before when Sai was telling him why he played Go.
"As ready as I'll ever be," Hikaru replied as he stuck his hands into his go-ke and pulled out a random amount of white stones. As he set them down on the goban, black sleeves brushed the side. Shocked Hikaru looked at his clothes. He was wearing a kimono as well!
"I'm white, its your move brother," Sai told Hikaru as they switched go-ke.
"Onegaishimasu!" They chorused, bowing their heads to each other. Hikaru never liked how formal Go was. Why should you have to say please before starting a game. He'd never said it before when playing his brother. Why did he say it now?
Lifting a stone he placed it on the upper right star, hist left hand holding the sleeves of his kimono back so as not to disturb the board. Soon his brother responded and the game commenced in earnest, each brother trying their best to surround territory and keep the other subdued. A fight started out in the lower left corner and Hikaru tried his best to cut his brother off. Feeling safe he played a stone in the upper side and watched Sai's reaction. It took a while for Sai to place his next hand. He could tell his brother was thinking, playing out hands in his head, trying to discern Hikaru's move.
Wait a minute? How am I doing this? Hikaru thought to himself as he watched his brother. He could understand what was happening before him on the board. Each piece of the goban came clear to his mind. There wasn't the dull throb in the back of his head of the headache that normally occurred when he played Go. And the pieces of the game weren't meshing together into confusing pools of black and white. It was clear to him what he was doing. Defending this side of the board, attacking there, or how his last hand was a distraction for the battle to come in the center near the end of the game, if the stone lived long enough. For the first time since starting, Hikaru felt that, just maybe, Go was fun.
As the game progressed Hikaru felt his palms start to sweat. Sai wasn't backing down and his endgame threat was struggling to live. But he wouldn't go down without a fight either. A quick thrust into white's territory, a small retreat into his own. Every move was intense. He wiped the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his kimono and glanced at his brother. He could tell Sai was feeling the pressure as well but he showed no sign of it. Could that be a smile he could see in Sai's eyes? With a snap of his wrist Sai opened his fan and covered the bottom half of his face. His eyes burned with a savage heat as he placed his next stone on the board. Yes, Sai was smiling at him.
Hesitantly, Hikaru looked down at the game, and gasped. That last move by Sai was brilliant! It effectively cut off his attempts at keeping his stone in the center alive as well as destroying his territories on the right side and topping the balance on the lower left. Frantically he played move after move in his mind. If played there could he defend? No what about connecting on the right. That wouldn't work either as it would leave room for Sai to finish off the fight on the left. The center was no good either. There was nothing he could do. With one move Sai had taken over the game and made everything he had done useless!
Hikaru gripped the bottom of his kimono as he lowered his head. He had put his all into this game but there was nothing he could do. Sai had gone above him. For the first time ever Hikaru was enjoying Go, just to be crushed by his brother. It was painful and mortifying to lose to Sai. This game was to be his, need to be his. In this game he was going to be god and create a universe for himself. His shoulders started to shake as tears fell on his clenched fist.
"I...I..." Hikaru's throat closed up as he tried to say the words but couldn't. He didn't want to but knew he had to say them, to end the game. "I...resign."
Across the goban Sai had lowered his fan back to his lap. He too had tears falling from his closed eyes. Once again his hair billowed around him as he tilted his head towards the sky. There was a smile on his lips as well. One of content.
"It was a good game brother. Thanks you."
Beep...Beep...
Hikaru opened his eyes and stared at the white ceiling. To his right he could here someone crying. Mom? Is that mom crying. He tried to move his head to see who was crying but something was keeping him from doing so. He tried to push himself up into a sitting position but his arms wouldn't listen to him. And he was tired, so tired.
Beep...Beep...
Would that machine stop that. The noise was getting annoying. And the crying! Just listening to it was making him want to cry as well. The ceiling started to blur as tears formed in his eyes. Why was he crying?
Beep...Beep...
He could hear people talking. The crying person stopped to listen but started all over again, wailing in a fevered pitch. He tried to listen to what they were talking about but he was so tired. His eyes started to close and he thought he caught the last end of whatever was being said before he fell back asleep.
"You've already lost one son, Shindo-san. With this, at least you could save the other."
"Sniff...do it. Please...sniff, anything to save Hikaru."
It was May when Hikaru was able to leave the hospital and return home. Akari had visited him every day since the accident. Hikaru couldn't remember caused the accident. Probably something childish or a dare he had challenged Sai with. It wasn't until Hikaru had asked his parents where Sai was did they tell him what happened. They were both racing to the Go Institute for Sai's first Pro Exam match when a car hit them while crossing the road. Sai took the most damage and had died in the hospital. Hikaru was thrown by the car and landed on something piercing his heart. Somehow he lived through it but had to be hooked up to a machine for the rest of his life. That was when his parents had made the big decision. A month later and Hikaru was able to go home.
The first place Hikaru went was his brothers room, the Go Room. It was the same as when he had left it that night long ago. Kifu were scattered over the floor and the goban had the beginning of a game on it, a black stone on the upper right star.
Slowly Hikaru walked to one of the bookshelves and ran his finger along the books. All Go books, all of them. He came to the bookshelf with binders and opened one. It was full of Kifus. On the top of the first one it read "Sai vs Hikaru, 7 years old." Hikaru leafed through it and tears started to fall on the pages. They were his games. All of them! Hurriedly he pulled down another binder. "Sai vs Hikaru, 9 years old." Another binder of nothing but his games with Sai. The next 4 binders were full of nothing but games he and Sai had played. The others were of games Sai had with other people, starting with his first game with their grandfather. How Sai had remembered it at 6 years of age baffled Hikaru. He read over them, all of them. Sai, he was a genius. Hikaru went over all the games his brother had played. Watched as his brother had grown in strength. Granpa was right. Sai should have turned Pro years ago.
Tears fell down his face as he moved onto the last book on the shelf. It was smaller than the others, a little bigger than Hikaru's hand. He remembered it vaguely. A present their grandfather had given Sai a few years ago. It was a journal. More importantly, it was Shindo Sai's journal. Hesitantly, Hikaru opened it to the first page.
"Hikaru,
Remember when I told you why I play Go? To be a god? Sounds childish huh? I don't know why I said that to you. The question really threw me off and I didn't know what to say. So I said something ridiculous. But maybe it wasn't so much. The way you looked, picking up the go stone, as you thought about making the goban your universe was worth it.
I hope you try playing Go seriously one day. You know, it's said you need two people to play the Hand of God. How cool would it be to play the Divine Move with you little brother! Oh! It would be wonderful. I can see it now, you with a look of concentration trying to battle against me. Then, I would smile at you, and play my hand. It would be perfect, right?
So Hikaru, hurry up and start playing! I'm waiting for you. Look, the first move is already set."
Hikaru sat down, clutching his heart. No, not his hear. Sai's heart. He felt it beating faster and faster as he crawled to the goban. There was a racing fury in his chest as he picked up a white stone. Just as he was about to set the stone down it stopped. And as the stone hit the table Hikaru could swear he heard his brothers voice:
"Ne Hikaru, lets have a good game."
Authors Note: I'm not sure if I want to leave this as a OneShot or continue it. If I do continue it would basically be Hikaru playing Go for his brother and so forth. Any thoughts on if I should proceed are welcome.
