A/N- So, in working hard to procrastinate with my other stories, especially in my timebaby series, this idea came along. It got angsty fast, and is very influenced by the decisions I've seen numerous women struggle with. As a result, I'd rate it a hard "T", especially for anyone who's contemplated any of these choices. Of course, this is still River and the Doctor, and I'm the one writing it, so the second half won't be nearly as emotional as the first. Hope it intrigues you, if nothing else.
Rory and Amy had just come off two incredibly long days, both falling into the sofa in utter exhaustion, ready for the rare weekend they both had off together. They were sitting with a bottle of wine between them, basking in the comfortable silence, each of their eyes beginning to close. As Amy was just about to doze off snuggled close to her husband, they heard a frantic ringing of the doorbell.
They sighed, and Rory looked down into his wife's eyes, shrugging before he went to answer it.
"River?" he asked cautiously once he'd opened the door.
Amy quickly got up at that, hurrying to over to see her daughter's face, apparently frozen in shock.
"River?" she repeated, reaching out a hand when the woman still didn't respond. "Melody?"
River jumped at her given name combined with her mother's hand on her arm.
"Mum? Dad?" she looked up at them, seemingly lost in confusion, before shaking her head in attempt to clear it. "Can I- can I come in?"
"Of course," Rory said, gently reaching out to pull her inside.
"Are you alright? Has something happened?" Amy asked carefully.
"Happened.." River whispered weakly. "Yes- something… happened."
"What is it, River? What's wrong?" Rory pressed when the silence had pressed around them for a few more minutes.
"I-" she began, still dazed by whatever had brought her to their doorstep.
She took a few deep breaths before looking up at them in her own confusion.
"It seems… I'm pregnant." Her eyes finally lifted to theirs, a question in them as though waiting for their cue on how to react. They were both stunned for a few moments, before Amy's face broke into a wide smile, Rory still watching to see how his daughter was before reacting.
"That's amazing!" Amy squealed, reaching over and hugging her child tightly. "Congratulations, River! Ooh! You're going to be a mother! I'm going to be a... grandmother," she said, her face falling into a frown as she realized the repercussions. Then she perked up as she took River's hand. "How far along- ooh, what did the Doctor say?"
"I- I haven't told him. I just found out and then I came here to you," she said warily.
"Well, I think this is fantastic! Ooh, just imagine the hair! This will certainly slow you two down a bit!"
River bit her lip, her eyes filling with tears.
"I know!" she cried, reaching forward and falling into Amy's unprepared embrace.
"River- what's the matter? Why are you crying?"
"Because- I can't- I don't want the Doctor to know! I have to… to hide. Stay away from him so he never finds out!"
"What?! Why?!"
"The Doctor and River Song- they run through the stars. That's who we are! That's who we've always been! What'll he think when I tell him we can't run anymore, because I've domesticated him! He'll leave and I'll never see him again and there's nothing I can do about it!
"What?!" asked Amy incredulously. "Where did this come from?"
"It just makes sense, Mum. He's going to find out about me and run- you've seen him when he's younger. How long did he run away from me, and I only ask a small fraction of his time?! A baby- they need everything! I- I'm still in prison. I can't have a baby in prison! And a child- I barely even had a childhood. Now I'm just supposed to be a mum?! I'm horrible with children! What am I going to do?!"
"I think you need to talk to your husband. Surely, together you could figure out a way-"
"No." She shook her head quickly.
"River-"
"He can't know! I can't lose him! I'll- I don't know. There must be another way…"
"River," said Rory suddenly, reaching out to rub her back as she sobbed uncontrollably and entirely like a hormonal pregnant woman whose emotions were running faster than she could keep up with them, "I think you underestimate him. And I think he has the right to know about his own child."
"Dad, I-" she got through her tears.
"And there are always options. You could stay here, until after the baby is born. That way you won't have to be pregnant in prison, and we could look after you here. I personally think you'd make a brilliant mum, with all the practice you have with the Doctor. But, if, after the baby is born, you still really don't believe you can do it, we can help you decide what to do after that as well."
"Dad…" she whispered quietly through tears, shame and fear lacing her voice as she lifted her head to the father who had lost his child before ever really meeting her, "what-" she swallowed hard, guilt streaming through her body, "what if I don't think I can do it? Any of it?" she stared determinately at her parents as her now- small voice pushed through. "What if I just can't take that chance?"
She maintained their gazes as long as she could, before their heartbroken expressions made her drop her head.
"Talk to the Doctor," Amy said, once she had regained her ability to speak.
River had been at their house for almost a month now, and one thing had become blatantly obvious. Ignoring the problem wouldn't make it just go away. She had had many discussions with herself and her parents over the last three and a half weeks, and was still no closer to deciding her next move. Both had of course, declared their unfailing love for her, and their continued support through whatever decision she made, even if they didn't agree with it. The one thing they did continue to prompt her to do, however, was to talk over every possibility with her husband. Still, she was reluctant.
It had been hard enough admitting to herself that there was a person growing inside of her, but that either of them could ever be responsible enough to raise that person was a concept far beyond her. She, unlike other people she knew- Amy and Rory included, had never even considered parenthood. It was not only something that had never really interested her, and as a hybrid of neither full human nor full Time Lord genes, had never even seemed like a possibility. She was terrified, feeling caught between a wide gaping hole and a cliff. If she gave the child up for adoption, it would live the life she had lived- feeling alone and unwanted and so confused about abilities they alone seemed to possess. If she decided to keep it, she would feel the unbearable heartache of a deserting husband, too wounded by what he had once lost to ever want it again. And too scared by any expectations and restrictions to willingly consent to them. She could handle a cage. Her husband had proven time and again that he could not.
She had worried herself nearly ill by the time five weeks had passed, and she finally agreed to give into her parents pleas. She sent a message to the Doctor, explaining they needed to talk, her mind all but made up.
She paced back and forth in the living room, thinking over possible speeches as she awaited his imminent arrival. Amy and Rory sat at the table, giving their silent support.
"Doctor, I'm pregnant. But before you overreact, don't worry, there are a lot of people out there who-
I know it was supposed to be impossible, Honey, but it seems we've-
Doctor. I'm going to have a baby. And I know it's not something either of us really want or even asked for, but don't worry, I'd never ask you to stay-
My love, I've already made my decision, and I realize I can't be a mother. And I know you don't want to be a father, so I just need your support after-
Sweetie, I know we never planned for this to happen, but it has. But I've decided to just deal with it and move-"
Suddenly, Amy and Rory ran to River's side, each grabbing a hand to steady her as the TARDIS faded into existence.
"You can do this, Melody," Amy whispered.
"We'll be right here with you, no matter what he says or does," assured Rory.
River closed her eyes, a small smile gracing her lips in thankfulness toward her parents, before she stepped forward, taking a deep breath and facing the door, fearfully anticipating the impending conversation after which the love of her life would leave her broken forever.