Disclaimer:I do not own any Sonic characters or Sonic related themes.
Location: Mike's bar/grill/comidy club, downtown Station Square.
When:9:00 pm
Now without further adu, the show:
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Announcer:And now, our next act is a ventriloquism act done by our world renoun hero, Sonic the Hedgehog!With him is his partner, Dirk! Give them a round of applause!
The crowd clapped and cheered as Sonic came on stage with a dummy that was wearing white cargo pants and a grey t-shirt. The cheering quited down and Sonic began.
Sonic:Hey everybody! This is my first time doing this so be easy on me.
He grinned and the crowd chuckled.
Sonic:This here is my friend Dirk. Say hi to people Dirk.
Dirk:Hi to the people Dirk.
Sonic:No, just say hi.
Dirk:Hi
Sonic:I was going to have Dirk sing but he couldn't remember all the words, so I guess we're just gonna cha-
Dirk:Hey...
Sonic:What?
Dirk:Are you going to sing?
Sonic:No, I am not.
Dirk:Good, I'd hate to see everyone leave.
The crowd laughed.
Dirk:Hey, don't laugh. I could be your kid.
Sonic:Hey!Don't insult them. They came to see the show!
Dirk:Tell 'em good luck!
Sonic: >- ...
Sonic:Anyway...Hey Dirk, I see we have alot of kids in the audience.
Dirk:You need glasses. I don't see any kids.
Sonic:Ahem...Why don't you tell everyone about your school time experiences.
Dirk:Fine.
Sonic:All right then. How did you like school?
Dirk:Closed.
Sonic:What was your favorite subject?
Dirk:Recess.
Sonic: What books did you study?
Dirk:Comic books.
Sonic:You know Dirk, theres more to school then recess and comic books.
Dirk:There is?Get out!
Sonic:Yes there is!Did you study geometry and geography?
Dirk:No.
Sonic:Why not?
Dirk:Too hard.
Sonic: Hard work never hurt anyone.
Dirk:Well I'm not willing to take a chance.
Sonic: Did you study spelling and the alphabet?
Dirk:Yes.
Sonic:Can you say it for me?
Dirk:Sure...
Sonic:Well go ahead!
Dirk:A...
Sonic:Well...?What comes after A?
Dirk:All of them.
Sonic:Not "All of them," B!
Dirk:Honey bee?
Sonic:Just B...You know what letter starts with B?
Dirk:Bottle of Beer.
Sonic:Um...what comes after B?
Dirk: C
Sonic: what comes after C?
Dirk: D
Sonic: what comes after D?
Dirk:E
Sonic: what comes after E?
Dirk:...
Sonic: Dirk, what comes after E?
Dirk:I forgot.
Sonic:F comes after E Dirk.
Dirk:Oh, okay, F.
Sonic: Good, what comes after F?
Dirk:G.
Sonic: what comes after G?
Dirk:Wiz.
Sonic:Wiz is not a word.
Dirk:It isn't?
Sonic:No it isn't. Hey, which way does the Mississippi river run?
Dirk:downhill.
Sonic:If you had two heads of cabbage, two carrots, and two onions, what do you have?
Dirk:Tossed salad.
Sonic:You have six vegetables.What makes you so stupid?
Dirk:Well I'm a dummy, what's your excuse?
Sonic:That was Dirk everyone, give him a hand. This will be the first and mabye the last time you'll see us. Thanks for having us, have a nice night, and don't forget to tip your waitresses. Goodnight everyone.
And Sonic and Dirk walked off the stage, surrounded by the applause of the crowd. The End.
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Dirk:Well, the script I used was over seventy-five years old and was used in ventriloquism acts in traveling medicine shows. I made a few changes to it.I hoped you enjoyed it. Well, c ya and be sure to review!