A/N: So this is a very old piece of mine, so I'm warning you it has a lot of mistakes and is not exactly the best thing I've written(+ English is not my first language). The story is AU o expect some characters to be OOC. Also, I know nothing about medicine.
Based: I wrote this one-shot based on post from a fanpage on facebook called: "L's Legacy of Justice"
What was written and I quote was:"Now I challenge you to find a non-fantasy explanation of Death Note without saying only once "coma" or talking about dreaming all that happened." So here it is.
Disclaimer: I do not own the storyline of 'Death Note' or any of the characters, Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata do. I only own the plot, but I make no profit from this.
Thank you for reading, if it's not too much, please leave a review and let me know what you thought about it.
xLonelyDreamerx
Deliramentum
"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
- Albert Einstein
L never liked his father. He was strict, cold, and most importantly a criminal; he was every bad in the world and he represented everything he hated.
When he was a child, he hadn't thought much about it; he had his mother who though she may had not given him enough sweets, was nice enough to bring him books about mystery and brave detectives who would saved people and move to the next case.
When his mother got tired of the ordinary routine and left him with his father, L's world was crushed. Gone were the colors and the false innocence his mother had built. Suddenly it was only black and white; a new world rebuilt by him.
Years passed much faster than he had expected to; he had graduated high school happily, even though he had failed to make any friends, L was satisfied with his high scores and he continued his life by attended to college, pursuing his dream of becoming a detective.
The years he had spent in college were surprisingly calm, unlike high school, the students didn't waste their time bulling him about his 'weird' habits or about his odd name.
All in all, everything were peaceful, and for the first time in his life he felt as though he was close to reach happiness.
In his second year, there was only one thing that changed in his life, and that was his father whose luck had finally ran out and his years on earth were ending. He could still remember hearing his mother complain about his father's habit of smoking, warning him about the dangers of having a difficult life or even worse ending up with cancer.
Who would have thought that his mother's worries would become true?
His father started suffering from cancer and was slowly losing the fight but L didn't pay any attention to it.
People who did terrible things were just terrible people.
His father deserved to die so why should he try to save him by taking him to some hospital and paying for medication? He was a former robber; a sinner who was finally being punished for his sins.
Of course. L didn't doubt that in someone else's perspective, what he was doing was wrong and somewhat childish; not helping his father because he was too stuck in the past...
What's done is never done. He thought one day. It always lies within us, telling a story... A cruel father, an irresponsible mother, and their odd child...
L had often found himself wishing he had a better father; someone with a good and highly respected job like a scientist or an inventor... Someone who would be quiet and able to match his intelligence. Someone who unlike his mother would bring him sweets without hesitation.
The thought always left a bitter feeling behind but L would quickly shake it off, it didn't matter. He shouldn't dwell on such pointless and painful feelings.
Once he graduated from college he would become the best detective that had ever existed. Someone who would put all the criminals -like his father- in jail and would become the true justice.
In the sixth day of January, his father passed away due to a heart attack that had occurred at 3 am.
It was a minor fact which didn't change his routine. As a matter of fact, he felt like he could finally breath.
All was well, until IT happened.
HE came.
Light Yagami.
It was the last year in college when the young Japanese boy came to finish college in Winchester, in England.
Apparently the boy was damned perfect; he was an amazing student who was also quite popular among others.
L never cared about friends, he was always called the bastard's child when he was a kid and when he grew up he realized he was better off being alone than wasting his time on brainless idiots.
Despite having a new opponent, L managed to graduate college and came second since Light Yagami was the top number one student.
His bad luck, however didn't leave L and years later, he was forced to work with the one and only Chief Yagami in a case where a mysterious serial killer murdered many people who had one thing in common; they all had criminal record.
Even after four years Light still hadn't changed, he was handsome, smart and apparently still damned perfect, with his nice words, flawless skin, and perfect smile... Only he could see what Light Yagami truly was; evil.
Despite L's obvious dislikeness, poor Light still tried to be friendly with his old classmate but all his efforts were in vain. In L's eyes, he was the enemy.
It was one afternoon while they were working on the case when L couldn't hold inside it any longer and publicly accused Light of being the criminal they were looking for; in L's mind Light fitted the description perfectly but everyone else called him crazy and stated that Chief Yagami was not a criminal.
Days passed since his accusation and L was growing more and more paranoid. He had even gone to the point of handcuffing himself to Light for a week before he finally released him.
On the third day of December, Chief Light Yagami was forced to do the most difficult task; arrest the detective and former classmate, L Lawliet. To everyone surprise, Light had grown fond of L, he had always admired his odd habits and was always impressed with his level of intelligence. Arresting his old classmate was one of the hardest things he had ever done, but Light had promised to himself to put justice first instead of his feelings.
"L Lawliet, you are under arrest for the murder of Lind L. Tailor and many other individuals." He said emotionlessly, his amber eyes hard, his voice firm.
L looked all of them wide eyed, clearly shocked. His wide eyes quickly narrowed and focused on the main reason of all his problems. "You" he spat, furiously before he jumped from his chair, landing on top of him. Wrapping his hands around Light's neck, L didn't hesitate to tighten his hold as Light was trying to breath. "If you think you've won, you're wrong!" He yelled at him angrily. "Justice always win, justice always win!" He repeated like a mantra.
The door burst opened by the rest of the colleagues who were working with him and at L's distraction, Light found the opportunity to get away from L by yanking his messy hair with his hand, using a lot of force that sent the detective few steps away from him.
Seeing Chief Yagami safe, the other men took action and grabbed L, ensuring he would no longer hurt anyone.
"No, no!" L struggled desperately. "He's the killer, he's Kira! Can't you see that?"
Light rubbed his neck and looked at him hurt, he knew that L hated him but he had never thought he would try to kill him. He knew L wasn't mentally well, to commit all these murders under a fake name and then continue your life like nothing had happened...
Either L was lying and was a spectacular actor, or he truly forgot everything he had done.
"No L, you're wrong." Light said quietly, feeling the black haired eyes on him, "You are Kira." He ignored the shocked look he received from the other man and carried on. "It wasn't easy, at first I was sure it was a mistake. I had thought that since you hate me so much..." He chuckled, drily. "Maybe you were investigating on your own, but..."Light shook his head. "Everything were pointing at you. Even when I found your fingertips in one of the crime scenes I still didn't stop investigating."
Light took a deep breath and continued with heavy heart. "But then there was a witness and had even capture you in a video..." He trailed and his eyes closed, unable to keep staring at the man he had considered to be his very first friend. "I knew I couldn't ignore the fact. There was no doubt; you, L Lawliet, are Kira."
There was only silence in the big room, nothing could be heard expect of their breaths. "Bravo, Light" L grinned and everyone looked at him surprised. "Congratulation, you have created the perfect crime." He laughed humorlessly. Of course Light would make up such lies to blame him, of course. He should have known, should have predicted such a move. "The hunter pretends to be the hunted, brilliant."
Light sighed tiredly as he ordered the security to take away L while he'd go and get an advice from a psychologist. The last thing he heard before leaving was L's screams who was still insisting that he had been sent into a trap.
By the next month, L was transferred to a local asylum. His court had gone like Light had predicted; he was guilty for his crime but due to his mentally ill mind, L was sent to the local asylum where he was diagnosed with schizophrenia; apparently L had been mentallyustable for years unbeknown to anyone, even himself, and had lately started showing signs of D.I.D. (dissociative identity disorder)
Many doctors would try to speak to him but he had started speaking nonsense; something about Shinigami and searching Kira.
L had mentioned many odd names such as: Misa, and Watari and a light that was near something called Mello.
The doctors couldn't figure out how to cure him.
L could never and would never be able to tell what was real before his eyes and what wasn't anymore.
During some days, he would say that the light had won and murmur something about making a new friend named Rem.
His doctor didn't understand and if he was honest with himself he didn't known if he should try anymore. L was obviously a lost cause and the young man, who seemed happy with his situation, was beyond saving.
On an afternoon of November, in his cell, L was sitting with his back against the wall; he had left the disgusting food beside him and was holding his spoon in his right hand as he stared the wall across him with a blunt look.
In his mind he was sitting in headquarters when he felt it.
They had the Death Note in their possession and once he would test the rule which he suspected to be fake. He would prove that Light Yagami was indeed Kira and justice would prevail.
However after the realization that Watari was dead, he shouted for the shinigami but before he could make another movement, his spoon fell as it hit him.
Bells
"Ryuzaki! What's wrong?" Matsuda yelled; he sounded far, far away.
He could hear a bell
Odd voices came to his mind as he stared up into the familiar pair of amber eyes
"I'm not a criminal L!" No that was wrong; Light would always insist that he wasn't Kira not that he wasn't a criminal.
"Patient 0932 wake up!" a female voiced called
His chest hurt and even though he tried to open his mouth to at least say something to the victor he found himself unable to do so, it was too hard to breath.
He had won; Kira had won and L had lost.
Maybe L was for a Loser
"Doctor, I can't find his pulse!" another female voice, slightly higher than the other screamed.
L felt nauseous, it wasn't normal to hear voices while dying or in general. His left arm went numb and for a slightly moment he felt relief; he knew the symptoms of having a heart attack; profusely sweating, shortness of breath, sharp pain in the chest... he had felt all that and yet
"Oh! Thank God!"
As Light's lips turned into a cold cruel smirk, L's eyes closed.
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Tick-tock
Dark eyes opened slowly and the first thing he felt was a headache; he felt as if his head had been split in two and had been hit by a hammer.
"You gave us quite a scare L." A deep voice stated.
Looking up, L saw a middle-aged man who appeared to be a doctor, he had blond hair and green eyes. What happened? The question made him feel stupid but he wanted to know what the situation was.
"Mrs. Jones had rung the bell after we opened the cells; it was time to go to the common room but when you didn't show up, she sent a nurse to your cell and found you on the floor." the doctor explained, after he saw the confused look on his face. "It seemed as if you had symptoms of heart attack which is odd because after running some test it sees you're... physically... heathy."
It didn't escape from L the way the doctor emphasised physically healthy.
"Do you remember what happened?" the doctor asked as he opened his notebook, ready to write.
"Where's Light-kun?" L asked as he looked down skeptically and nabbed his thumb, Kira had killed him but why wasn't he sent to heaven or hell or wherever he was meant to go after he died?
"Light-kun?" the doctor repeated slowly and nodded in understanding, "So you were talking about Chief Yagami, not just a light."
L frowned and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off. "Whom am I speaking now?"
Where is Watari? L wondered , ignoring the man's question. He clearly knew Light-kun and it made him suspicious. Could this possible be a plan of Kira's? Was he kidnapped? But if he was then what happened to the Task force?
"How are you familiar with Yagami Light?" L demanded to know.
A tired smile was on the doctor's face as he sighed before he answered the question, "Light Yagami was your classmate in college, co-worker and your... let's say... partner? Yes, that was before you were sent here." He paused, "He still visits you once a week."
L looked at the man wide-eyed, clearly astonished by what he was informed. It couldn't be true, no! The man must be lying! Of course he's lying! He wanted Watari who was like the father he never had, who was always bringing him sweets and always comforted him when he needed to.
"I can understand your shock but you're suffering from schizophrenia, once you go back to you cell you may feel the need to escape but you shouldn't give into it." the doctor said slowly, "It's the first after a long time that you've connected with reality and we could run some tests tomorrow." The doctor said hopefully before he let his notebook on the desk and and called, "Beatrice take patient 0932 back to his cell." He told her carefully and the nurse nodded.
When he returned to his cell, L felt like a prisoner.
He almost felt sick when he saw the names he had written in the wall:
Light Yagami
Beyond Birthday
Misa Amane
Nate River
Mail Javas
Mihael Keehl
Quillish Wammy
Roger Ruvie
And the list went on.
L felt cold and the need to wrap his arms around himself; he felt lonely and confused.
He sat on the bed and crouched, he suddenly got flashes of his mother leaving him, his father dying, graduating high school, meeting Light
No, this was wrong.
That was not how his life was supposed to be.
He was the greatest detective; a mysterious, talented detective, who had successors to take his name after he die. He couldn't possibly be... this.
L blinked slowly, and when his eyes reopened instead of finding himself in the dark cell, he was actually sitting in a chair, a blanket wrapped around him and a plate full of sweets in front of him.
"It's rare for you to fall asleep L." Watari said from behind him as he came and placed a glass of milk beside his food. The old man looked at L with a small smile and the detective felt relief, all the anxiousness and fear were slowly fading away.
"Oh my God... he's actually smiling, but doctor, what is he staring like that?"
"Hmm" L took a chocolate donut by using his thumb and finger like he did all the time and started eating, "Any news?" He asked while chewing.
"He slipped back."
Watari nodded and looked down at the papers he was holding, "Lind agreed with your terms."
"What does that mean, doctor?"
"That was expectable." L stated, hiding every thought of reality, every voice he could hear and he concealed the scary, cruel truth in the back of his mind.
"It means that he's going to repeat the same circle in his head until it's over and wake up."
He was the greatest detective, ready to take any case. "How are the Japanese police?"
"And when he does wake up? What then?"
Watari chuckled, "Angry, obviously."
"I'll try to talk to him"
L smiled a rare smile and looked at Watari, "I'm sure they can get over it."
"But something's telling me he has doomed himself to repeat the same actions that are currently taking place in his head..."
L looked at his now empty plate and brought his knees closer, "Watari, bring me some cake."
"Yes sir," he nodded with a small humorist smile and went to the kitchen.
"...over and over again."
Meanwhile L bit his fingernails as he observed from the computer screen the killings Kira had done the past few weeks.
There was only one thing he was certain. Kira will be brought to justice.
Schizophrenia:
a mental disorder often characterized by abnormal social behavior and failure to recognize what is real.