I woke up suddenly opening my eyes, gasping for breath, clinging onto my bed. Sweat dripping from me. While my body trembled and tried desperately to grasp onto reality, trying to forget the nightmare I can't ever seem to ever escape from. That I have every time I fall to sleep and close my eyes.

I staggered into my bathroom, washed my face and looked into the only mirror I owned. Forcing myself back in to a sense of realism. Telling myself over and over it was just a nightmare. Knowing it was. But, looking at my reflection. I looked like I'd just being dragged back from hell.

With one fact that always hovered over me. I'm still living every day of every passing year, falling apart slowly piece by piece. Without any crucial vital answers as to who or what I am. Other then my name and some of what I know now. And with half a century past already, my outlook on life was bleak.

Hi. My name is Lucian. And I'm immortal.

One:

I sat on my studio balcony, viewing another early morning of another new day, with still the same issues haunting me. Listening to the familiar sound of the village clock bell been rung.

Knowing in this town, I have nothing to pass my time except long days at work and my place of solitude. Knowing also I've lived the same routine and frustration for this long…The village clock then distracted my line of thought, as it made its echoed announcement it was eight. In which the village folk slowly started appear like clockwork, from their small miniature but existing lives in the village below, unbeknown to them who was watching.

I sighed in disbelief that the misery I'd pushed aside, was back again. As I'd disconnected myself from humans for good reason. Isolating and sort of hiding myself away from them. Placing an invisible barrier for me or them to never cross, for any reason, other than work. And all for one reason. To keep myself concealed from humans. To hide the fact of what I am. All the while. I do envy every human with a passion for one reason. Knowing I will never be granted. The one thing, all humans get.

Year day, whatever... Lost count. Time eight forty and counting. Weather, the sun was shining. With life. Same old. Dull and boring…

I sighed out with the want and need to force out none existing emotion. As it was always the same familiar dead emotion with me, with an ache in my chest. Which left a hole to where my heart should be. If I have one.

The want and need to carry on even though for one damning fact, I couldn't die, was lost. As for the need for life, I'd abandoned that decades ago. While always making the wrong decisions leading me to where I am now. Leaving me with despondent choices and disbelief of happy endings. While my elusions sank in, in hope that one day, I will regain what I once had… The memories my past holds. Instead of the nightmare I can't ever forget. Leaving me with sickening feelings, unanswered questions and sleepless nights. Which left me always wondering, if there was ever going to be an end to my misery. The story of my life, so far…

Knowing, my demanding irrational thoughts while looking in mirror didn't help. Soul searching wasn't an option neither. Considering I wasn't sure if I had one. And questioning myself, on who and what I am, when I don't know, blurred my eyes to see what my past was or future is going be.

I knew then my frustration and anger would be put to the test today if I didn't get these thoughts out of my head. I needed to escape.

I stood up, rushed to pick up what I needed and ran to work watching everything pass me in a blur. Hearing everything disappear behind me, with birds loudly fluttering in front of me from the forest floor to avoid my next angry step of direction. With my anger, distracting me from the beauty of the world surrounding me.

I arrived at work within minutes and restarted on a restoration that needed finishing for tomorrow.

I took each brush stroke slowly and carefully trying to drag the time out, but by the time I'd finished, I was needing to fill my time with something that exceeded more than a few hours to complete. Something that would help me shut down, let go and get rid of all my tantalizing thoughts… I needed my place of solitude.
The one place I didn't need to think, were time stopped and all thoughts could be drowned out literally. Giving my sanity chance to recover from overly thinking. From my own personal torture.

Barefoot, I enter the cool rushing water, walking slowly forward on the smooth sharp rocks beneath my feet, until I reached the edge of the waterfall.
I looked down taking in a deep breath with my feet holding me in place, with the sheer drop below pausing me. Feeling momentarily the adrenaline rush around the air circling me, pulling me down into a trance of wanting thenneeding to jump.

The water rushed through my legs, feeling the rhythm like its heart beat against me, with the coolness within the water settling the untamed anger burning deep within me.

I breathed out slowly, feeling another rush of cool air circle me. Stopping all thoughts instantly.

I continued to pause at the edge looking down again, ready to jump at any moment. As the feeling of freedom as I fell was one thing, but the sheer desire to jump off. Was another feeling entirely…

I stood still not breathing, biding my time watching the world around me looking over towards as far as I could see.

The forest that surrounded the waterfall spread out for miles, showing the horizon line above the mountain peaks. With the multitudes of green on all the leaves, the blue of the lake through the village, with the red and pale white roofs of the houses below. Separating between me here and the mountains. The beauty of living where I do.

Seeing everything now my eyes could focus on. From the lights to colours. In which no human eyes could see. Listening to the smallest faintest sounds I could hear below and distinguish sound for sound. Then the smells…

I took a gentle deep breath through my nose inhaling every scent. Picking up then this strange rose aroma, that immediately imprinted within my mind. Leaving the smell as strong and distinct, as if it had being placed directly under my nose.

Everything then around me went unnaturally still, leaving me feeling like time had frozen. Even though I knew without a doubt, that the lives of every living thing around me continued to go on and grow, with time always ticking away. Giving every living thing a purpose, but with every life given, it always ends the same way. With death.

Within seconds, a new feeling with a fresh rush of adrenaline consumed me to a point of ecstasy. I felt my body unnaturally change, my breathing accelerated and my muscles became tight. I looked down to face the downfall that hurdled hundreds of tons of water a minute down. Freeing myself and mind from any self conscious thought and control. Then jumped. Knowing fear wasn't an obstacle to me. With the fact lodged within my mind…

I couldn't die.

Knowing though, dying would bring peace my pointless life. In thinking that, what is a life without death. With nothing to live for. No one to turn to. With no fear to keep or give you any reality. Knowing you have to enjoy every moment of your existence, because it always comes to an abrupt end.

But I can't.

I fell in the air with my arms held out, with the cracks of my frustration starting to reappear. Feeling now the intense air around me, with the air itself, screaming in my ears. Pushing the sounds of the world together as one, ignoring the depth of the water below.

Except, I wasn't prepared for the unexpected voice suddenly in my head, yelling in anger. In which I clenched my fists and closed my eyes before hitting the dark lake below violently.

Hours had past. The moon was slowly coming up. And I had unwillingly dragged myself out of the lake to a small cavern, that was protected and kept behind the tons of water that flowed down in front of the opening, concealing it.

Inside, for the decades I'd known of it to of been here. It had somehow preserved itself as if a tiny blue diamond's had been placed one by one, over the entire cavern walls. Leaving my mind to drift with its emptiness and the serenity it created.

Laying down on a large flat ledge inside, I watched as the last of the light directed its way through from the waterfall, which protected its beauty and fiction from the world surrounding. As the waters shadow wavered across the ceiling, listening to the water plunge down deafeningly.

After a while, I left the cavern and headed for the trail for home. The moon was filtering between the trees a strong silvered grey, with thick mist leading to the path home. Thinking and knowing, it's a good job I have good eye sight.

As I took each step, I could hear the familiar sounds of everything that occupied the walk home. Hearing then seeing an owl, swoop down and miss me by inches distracting my attention as it caught its prey tight in its claws, then flew away. Reminding me, that I too am a predator, but without prey. Trying not to think of my past, as my reality is this…

I am freak of nature to every living thing on this earth. My body hasn't changed since I can remember. And the countless times I'd tested my strength, speed, agility and curiosity on what I am, is subject to question. I have no limits.

I haven't ever completely contemplated just who or what I am, I just know… I'm immortal and with no memory of my past since around half a century ago.

Though I identically mimic humans by looks and sounds and could pass for human, I would never be one. My blood is dry within my veins and as for i've got hidden deep inside me inside me, I know it isn't human. As what else I know. I am an abnormality who is strong and fast. And is for now, protected by my human form. Deceiving and fooling everyone around me and sometimes, myself.

I approached my front door and let myself in, heading upstairs to lay down but avoided sleep. Thinking back to day one when I woke up in my studio not knowing who I was. Confused. Half dressed in ripped trousers and covered in dry blood. Which soon after, lead me eventually to the task of finding out I couldn't die? By any means possible, that I know of. As for when I tried at the many attempts to fatally injure myself. It was impossibility.

Note to self. Go figure. And don't ever try again, jumping off any mountain peaks close to home. Due to wide spread panic it caused within the village, thinking an earthquake had hit. With the force of my impact from the tallest peak within the valley. Which just had to be the closest to Giovanni.

I sat up holding my hands to my head and closed my eyes tight together trying to forget everything. Just wishing I could blow out my frustration but only more anger suffocated me, due to the same unanswered questions.

I continued to sit in a statue position with no motivation in wanting to move but also with no distraction. Even my place of solitude didn't help much anymore. It only eased my frustrations, for the small amount of time I stayed there.

And before I had even realize it. The village bell rung, alerting me of the time. And damn it, I was running late.

I rushed to get ready to head to work early. As I had a few tasks to do before Mrs Anthony would be in for her painting. Dreading her visit today, for if, she brought her granddaughter again.

Ready. I set off hastily running to work, taking the short cut through the mountain forest surrounding the entire back of my studio, arriving within minutes to the highway into Giovanni. That I have to unavoidably cross over to get to my shop, but I momentarily stopped running due to bring distracted.

The distraction was… I felt as though someone was watching me from a distance. And even though still distracted and facing the way I just came from. I started to walk onto and cross over the highway, paying no attention to what I was doing, until I was nearly seconds too late.

As I heard the noise of a loud speeding rattling engine of a truck, that was moments away from hitting me, leaving me startled and with only one quick decision…
Manoeuvre myself over the eight wheeled truck. That I was about to slam head-on into, with jumping being my only option. Hoping the driver wouldn't see me. If he hadn't seen me already.

I forced as much energy into my feet as I could and without a second to lose. I jumped and gripped the edging of the front of the truck and flipped myself over, landing awkward and heavily. Leaving slight damage to the road where I landed.

I turned around quickly righting myself, to see the words-Long Distance Removals-in white bold lettering on the back of the dirt covered black lorry that was now disappearing round the next tight corner of the highway. I breathed out in relief. As unbelievably, the driver hadn't seen me.

I settled myself in for the morning. Picking up a dried painting, taking my camera off the back shelve. Reminding myself, I needed pictures storing for future reference before I wrapped it.
My curiosity on why Mrs Anthony wanted to have this painting restored though over and over, beheld me. In saying that… It was more the image of the painting that called itself out to me personally. The centered disturbed masked face, with a mass selection of confusion behind it, left me feeling strange with familiarity.

Divine Art, my shop. Was and is, another reason to not sit and mope and drive myself insane on a continuous basis. When I can't sleep, relax or need to think.

As it contains some pictures of what I have drawn, over the last two decades or so. To help me to piece my life together, through the same nightmare and scribbles. But also of things I have collected and restored over the many years I have owned this place.
When I realized it had just gone half past eleven, I went shuffling through my post. But as I did, I came across something strange. A hand delivered, small black blank envelope with a red wax seal. With the letter S stamped in the middle… I opened it.

Inside, was a black and white photograph of a painting, of an angelic faced girl…? Which strangely. Halted everything I was supposed to be doing.

As somehow, I felt I'd seen her before. The confusion was written on my face. As I was sure I had. Positive even. But couldn't explain where from.

I turned the picture over. And there on the back, was a hand written date. But in seeing the date, made me realize I couldn't of known her. As the date on the back of the picture, stated eighteen twenty-two.

That's when I put the picture down to one side to scrutinize over later and moved on to the next bit of post. Or should I say I tried to. Because as I put it to one side, I couldn't help but take one more look.

There was just something holding all my attention to it. To her. And without warning, this fierce desire for wanting and wishing to be human made itself known. As I couldn't ever imagine having anyone or anything. As beautiful as this unknown person. As the angelic faced girl, was just an example of my many human but inhuman desires.

" You're pathetic," I hissed at myself aloud. Hesitating for a long paused moment taking in every detail within the picture of what she looked like, in every faultless flowing detail.

Which included the way she sat, the way her hair twisted around her face, shoulders, then over her pale shoulder-less dress. Then her strange eyes. Everything intrigued me about her and this. This, was only a picture that was now stored, in my already interrogated thoughts. That was until I heard my shop doorbell ring, as my shop door opened to alert me that Mrs Anthony had arrived. Unfortunately for me, with her overbearing underage flirtatious with me granddaughter. Mirth… I gritted my teeth forcing a smile and sighed out. Placing the picture within my desk draw.

They left after ten long minutes, with her granddaughter following my every step, as I retrieved her painting from the back of my store cupboard. Placing it in the trunk of her car. Wondering… if I could fit Mirth in there in the process going unnoticed by Mrs Anthony.

I continued to work till about three, finishing the last two paintings I'd being sent to restore, while driving everything out of my mind. While I can. Knowing I was more relaxed, that the feeling of anger was pushed out of my system for now. Knowing I could head to the one place, that could give me the continued peace and sanctuary I needed for a change. Without going there stressed, frustrated. Or angry.

I reached the top of the waterfall once again for the how ever many thousandth time. Feeling a slight edge of resilience within me. Placing my bare feet within the cool rushing water and breathed in deeply, standing. Holding my body stiff. Feeling the exhilaration coming from within me.

The water seemed to rush more quickly through my legs, as I took my final steps closer towards the edge. And as the familiar invisible wind whistled in my ears, my eyes focused and picked up every coloured detailed imaginable. In which I took my last unneeded breath in. Feeling the rhythm of the world around me, as I deluded myself with its soul and tranquility. And without any last thoughts, I jumped.

I left my eyes open as I fell. Feeling the force of the wind against my body pushing me down, but suddenly I felt strange. Electricity coursed within me like normal, but the hairs on my arms and neck were on end, followed by a fierce shiver running down my spine. With my eyes weirdly and for the first time I know them to… Started to burn.

Confusion spread entirely through me.

I then looked up as I was suddenly distracted, by a brief strange sharp glisten of red light reflecting from in-between the trees. In which everything stopped, even my eyes burning. As I saw someone, a girl.

Abruptly, I hit the lake with a painful hard slap and was engulfed by a wave of water towering over me. And crap come drowned rat, I'd lost visual contact with her. But to my annoyance, I never even saw her face. Just her long auburn hair. With something else right then, also placing itself within me. Leaving me with a mysterious burning desire and unsatisfied intrigue for me to see her.

With that, I quickly rushed and dragged myself out of the lake. But I was too late. She'd already gone, leaving no trail to show which way she went.

Announcing it was Five o'clock. The last chimes from the village bell echoed up. Dusk was ready to settle in and I hadn't move an inch from my balcony since getting home, still laying in my damp clothes.

My body was still fighting against sleep, for fear of nightmares. But also, it refused to sleep due to the curiosity running throughout within me for her, the girl at the lake.

I knew and could still feel the need to see her again. But how. I didn't know who she was or what she looked like. Only the back of her head. The reflection of her long auburn hair. But in the middle of that thought. I halted my thinking and shook my head practically holding myself back from nearly slapping myself. With the words. What the hell am I thinking? Bringing me back to my senses and reality. My reality. I couldn't see her, due to who and what I am.

I couldn't risk it.

But then, there was something about her. The mysteriousness of me not seeing her face, which intrigued me more than my heart's desire to die… To want to see her again. But I'd already made my decision. I wasn't going to look for, or see her. And if I did, I wouldn't make contact… I'd walk away.

She wouldn't know I existed.

After a change of clothes, I headed into the village on my motorbike, to the only village store worth going to, that sold everything I needed. Plus it was the only place where somebody spoke fluent English, and I could understand them.

Micah's.

As I parked up, I couldn't help but notice an over polished black Audi that was parked out front of the local pharmacy next door. Noting it was one of the latest models. As I walked inside Micah's. Unfortunately for me. I was greeted by Micah's six foot blonde, ass of a store assistant. Keron… Who worked there to my disadvantage.

He grunted angrily once as I approached him, followed by him balling one of his hands into a fist. As he tried to ignore the fact I was standing there by ticking off stock supplies. I smirked and couldn't help it when it turned into a brief snigger.

"Is Micah in," I asked. His response was the usual. He ignored me, gritted his teeth squared his jaw and flat out refused to answer me. In which I smirked again and sighed out turning my head away from him. Forcing myself not to bite, ignoring him in return.

I was just about to leave, when I heard a box drop from within the storeroom and Micah yelled for Keron to come. But Keron didn't move and within moments the storeroom door swung open.

I could see the anger written on Micah face as he rushed out. Which told me Keron was in serious trouble. But right at that moment Micah spotted me and smiled understanding immediately. Keron didn't move for the simple fact. I was in his way.

Micah was in his late forties, had black going grey hair and was a down to earth guy, who knew something was a little off with me. Not aging being one of them. But he never questioned or judged me for the many years I've known him, as he knew I liked my privacy. Not that it didn't leave him wondering.

"Put these boxes, in front of the storeroom door. We need it left open." Micah ordered bluntly in his out of town English accent, as he put one box down with a thud, in front of Keron on the counter and pointed to the rest.

Micah approached me. "So… Your after your supplies early again. I presume." He asked with assured tone. But I was too distracted to answer, as I heard Keron wince loudly in pain.

He'd dropped a box on his foot.

I answered after a few seconds, with a big smile on my face, and a laugh stuck in my throat. "If you have them in already, yeah." Thinking, I usually pick up my supplies every two weeks on a Wednesday.

He headed back into the storeroom, picking up an open box in the process. I followed closely behind, passing Keron carefully. Stopping abruptly as Micah passed me the box he was holding, as he went to get my supplies.

In the process of all this, I heard the store entrance door open, sending a small gust of cool air through into the storeroom as another human entered the store.

It then only took me a moment to notice and hear, that Keron's heartbeat had changed and was beating faster, which I tried to ignore.

Then unexpectedly, the hairs on the back of my neck were up and my entire body froze. My stomach knotted. And I felt strange, physically and emotionally. A shiver then raced down my spine, with something yelling at me to turn around. But as I tried to. I found I couldn't.

Something was stopping me.

And the something that was stopping me. Was my instinctive sense of danger, screaming at me to get the hell out of Micah's. But my body now had another feeling that was just as strong… As I now, started to fight against a strange overpowering pull. That was stronger than gravity.

Micah's quiet laugh startled me.

I hadn't noticed he was back and was stood next to me. I turned to look at him. Seeing now his face was strangely lit up with a huge smile planted entirely across it, as he looked into his store. Now holding my items in a brown bag.

"Latest hear say if you haven't heard. Or should I say seen it yet." And without warning, I couldn't stop or move away from him in time. Micah grabbed my arm and swiftly spun me around, knocking me slightly off balance and off guard.

I quietly gasped and froze on the spot.

"The girl from the lake." I whispered to myself. But unfortunately, it was loud enough for Micah to hear.

"The girl from the lake, humm." He responded quietly, I could feel him staring at me to continue and explain. But I continued to look at the girl and said nothing.

She stood with her back to me. Her long auburn hair confirming it was her.

Micah continued staring at me. While honestly, I felt as if I'd be cemented in place and turned to stone.

With my eyes focused only on her. I watched as she stood still with her back continuously to me, as she spoke to Keron.

I then just suddenly, wanted her to turn around once and for all, so I could see her. Even if just once. I just needed to see her face. My mind then demanded in protest. Why? In which, I gritted my teeth with the answer being. I don't know.

I looked over to Keron frustrated, as he was still distracting and taking her full attention. My thoughts then turned frustrated and impatient, wondering when was she going to turn around. If she will.

Micah waved his hand in front of me, breaking half of my concentration from her to him. In which Keron then looked over to us. His face glued on mine. With a damning smirk on his face reaching his eyes.

I glared at him. Thinking, if only looks could kill. Keron would be definitely dead. I clenched my teeth. Halting all my thoughts of what he'd look like dead. Lifeless and the rest of it.

"Finally, I thought I was going to have to hit you with something to bring you round." Micah said with a smirk now on his face jokingly. I thought to myself it wouldn't of been a bad idea. "She lives with her brother, in the house across from you." I looked at him briefly, as my mouth fell slightly open startled by the information. Remembering the old empty house across from where I live. I snapped my mouth shut. "Her brother works in the pharmacy next door, that's his car parked out front-"

I ignored the rest of what he said. As I now stood startled and desirous for two reasons. One she just suddenly laughed. And two, it was at something Keron said. I felt my entire body there and then, unfreeze and tense. I could now feel my emotions ranging from frustration to jealousy. My face showing everything I was feeling.

Micah loudly laughed at my response to them, distracting her attention on to us.

She turned around.

Her face as it met mine, froze and looked bewildered. While my thoughts went from blank to confused, then mesmerized. I dropped the box I was holding, with its contents spilling everywhere.

She was as beautiful as an angel on the horizon of an art filled sunset. Her pale red lips as she breathed in, her sapphire delicate eyes as they met and locked onto mine, set her stunningly unsymmetrical face to perfect.

My breathing right then stopped. Micah nudged me and was looking at me strangely. But I couldn't control myself. My chest then clogged as this new strong uncontrolled emotional energy-I'd never felt before. Smothered my thoughts and feelings, then body. Which held fire desire and a strange ache within my chest, leaving me feeling as if I could sense her standing right in front of me. To the point I could feel the heat radiating from her skin and smell her overwhelming scent. Of which was roses.

With me knowing instantly, what I was feeling. It was profoundly stronger than any emotion I'd ever felt before. Which left me feeling completely raw on the inside. As I knew it was wrong and going against everything i'd decided i wanted. And hell, my body was fighting against it.

But the next thing I knew. I could feel myself being drawn towards her with such intensity I started to tremble inside, the more I tried to fight against it. In which I had to force myself to stay grounded and look at Micah, to keep focused and to stay put. With my whole body demanding me to take another step closer to her, with something cracking to pieces within me.

With my mind continuing to fight, to take back control of my body.

But the next thing I felt and was not prepare for. Hit me so hard emotionally, it nearly knocked me off my feet. In which I gasped and suddenly felt sick. I took a step back. Our eye contact still constant.

I could now feel this deep connection between us inside me. And it was so powerful and quickly set deep within me. I could feel already, it was a part of my soul.

I knew then, I had to force myself to look away from her and leave. But then my mind started to fall to pieces as I tried.

I realized then at that moment, I'd completely lost all of myself control. Knowing this was the wrong place for it. I had to get out of here. I had to get away from her.

"Lucian. Are you okay?" I heard the confusion and concern in Micah's voice; I could see a smirk on Keron's face-which left immediately. As the girl, she unexpectedly took one step closer towards me. Her eye contact constant with mine, her face concerned with worry for me. My mind screamed at her. "No. Stay there, don't walk towards me." But she took another few steps closer, nearly closing the gap between us.

My body then felt pain, as it somehow strangely hurt to be this close to her. And not touch her. I grounded my hands, firmly to my sides. In which I then managed to somehow look at Micah with my face saying what I couldn't, knowing I had to get out of here. I had to leave, I yelled at myself. "Just go. Get out now…"

In which, I gritted my teeth and started walking as fast as I could… But In a frustratingly human pace out the storeroom to the entrance door, trying to ignore her as I passed her. But I couldn't help but take one more look at her face, to take in all of it detail. Which now, had mixture of emotion written all over it...

I finally reached the entrance door and without looking back or hesitating. I walked in to outside world. Hearing Micah shout a confused bye, followed by Keron's loud laughter. In which the main entrance door closed shut.

I breathed out heavily in relief, my body shaking. Knowing though instantly, I'd left half my soul inside.