WARNING: This is a death fic.
AN: After reading amanichan's alternate ending to "In the Devil's Teeth" Chapter 4 by eprime I thought, well we definitely get to see how Kirishima feels about the situation and we see Asami's reaction to finding Akihito dead. However I wanted to see things a little bit more from Asami's point of view, to know his thoughts and feelings when finding that his actions towards Takaba had unforeseen repercussions and what happens to him when the truth comes out so I decided to ask eprime and amanichan if they were okay with letting me write the events from Asami's POV, They were totally cool with it but I postponed it for the longest time.
Thanks to eprime and amanichan for giving me permission to do this alternate of the alternate ending. All the recognisable dialogue from ITDT and FOAA belong to eprime and amanichan. I merged both their storylines into one and kept eprime's canon intact only adding and changing where it was nescesary, the purpose of this fic was to see things from Asami's POV so I tried to stay true to eprime's and amanichan's stories as much as I could.
This fic is a gift and homage for eprime and amanichan for their support of the fandom, their amazing stories and for being so kind and allowing me to write this.
Thanks to Ashida for betaing for me.
Finder Series belongs to Yamane Ayano.
*******VF*******
Angel Falling
It was close to ten in the morning and Asami was currently too occupied to hear the situation taking place by the door to his condo. He did not register the low murmur of Suoh and Kirishima talking by the door, or when the secretary rejected the glass which moments before Suoh had handed him containing amber liquid, or when the bodyguard drank it down after his friend and colleague had rejected it. The footsteps of a very preoccupied and trepidated Kirishima were lost to him under the sounds he was wrenching from distraction he had picked up late last night.
No, Asami was much too engaged at the moment to hear any of it. He did not notice the door to the condo opening or the forceful steps heading directly toward the bedroom. Asami did however, hear the short knock on the wooden surface but chose to ignore it and continue his current diversion between the legs of one very noisy Sudou Shuu. He cared not what his men thought about his recent interest in the model or any of the other cheap pastimes he chose to sink his dick into, to at least for the length of their dalliance – for one moment – forget the betrayal that had been eating at him and the person who had broken his trust along with other things he dared not consider and the punishment he had chosen to enact on the betrayer.
It had to be Suoh, Kirishima had the day off, and if the bodyguard had something to say he could very well wait until he was done fucking the daylights out of Sudou. The groans and moans continued to fill the room but now, with the door open, spilled into the hallway from which Kirishima stepped into the room.
Out of the corner of his eyes he could see Kirishima give a quick nod in his direction before the man spoke.
"Asami-sama, I'm sorry to interrupt but this is urgent."
Asami could tell that despite the apology Kirishima was anything but sorry. It was the look of clear disgust on the secretary's face that gave away his true feelings about what was going on in the room. He did not care what Kirishima's feelings on the matter were, all he knew was that he had a warm willing hole to fuck, to momentarily satiate the need only one person could truly quench.
Sudou's distraught attempts to get off him and cover himself in shame at being watched getting fucked were of no consequence to him. Despite Kirishima's clear dislike of his activities with the blond model, which was by now starting to piss him off, Asami continued to hold the smaller frame in place with his strong hands and kept driving into the young man.
'This better be fucking important or I swear Kirishima will be very sorry to have interrupted me.' He thought still pounding into Sudou
"Your scowl is ruining my libido, Kirishima. Your news better be worth your insolence." It was more a growl than anything when the words left his mouth.
Asami saw Kirishima take in a deep centering breath to gather his wits and dip his head, he caught the rancorous little sneer his secretary tried to hide, because Asami rarely missed anything and it made him curious.
"I'd receive the latest report about Takaba-kun, sir. I thought you would like to be notified immediately."
'That's it? This was why Kirishima dared interrupt me? A report about Akihito, it is a day ahead of schedule so the brat must have tried to escape again. I will have to teach him better again.'
"Can't this wait? I am in the middle of something." He said the words with disinterest and continued to pound upwards into the struggling body above his.
But there was that sneer, what did it mean? Whatever it was, Asami felt a small tug of wrongness in his chest before he pushed it away. With a herculean effort Asami kept his movements, not missing a beat and pretending that he was bored and uninterested about Akihito or anything related to him. The next words from Kirishima were delivered with clinical like cleanness, business like much as any other report he had ever given him, this was anything but just another report. The words Kirishima delivered were but a horrible revelation.
"He's dead, sir. What should we do with the body? Should I contact our usual cleaners?"
All muscles in his body suddenly contracted, halting all movement on his part. The room went so quiet the huffs of Sudou's breath sounded ridiculously loud to his ears and he subconsciously wished to silence them forever. For some reason it was like some strange void had sucked all sound out of the world and time had slowed to the speed of the dripping of warm honey.
It had to be some sort of sick humorous attempt from Kirishima, Akihito couldn't die, he had not given the boy permission to and the traitorous blond was safely tucked away in a small space where surely nothing could go wrong. Anger flared inside him at his secretary's dreadfully unsavory little joke and the room dropped a few degrees due to the chill his flaring ire produced in the environment around them.
His mood was positively ruined now and he lost all interest in fucking. Asami threw the club manager off him and off the bed in one quick motion. A very displeased Sudou landed on the floor like the proverbial sack of potatoes with a heavy thud and an indignant huff, which followed the grunt he released as soon as his body reached the hard surface. He was so pissed he had not time to care about niceties toward his current toy much less his state of nudity in front of his secretary.
Asami got off the bed and walked forward like a beast ready to fall upon his unsuspecting prey and launched his hands forward to capture the bespectacled man lifting him off the floor by the black necktie and pushing him roughly onto the wall as a means to release some of the growing fiery rage within him. He had not even noticed Suoh come into the room as his golden eyes zeroed on the calm secretary and his low cold voice growled out his words.
"Your jokes are tasteless, Kirishima." It could not be true, Akihito was his and would never leave him unless that was what he wanted. He was the owner of Akihito's life and held the boy's fate within his hands. No one but him could dictate what happened to him and Kirishima's crude joke about the boy was as infuriating as it was unacceptable. It simply was not possible, Akihito could not leave him… ever.
Kirishima spoke with the calmness of a mountain, his voice clear and unhindered -though with a hint of hostility and malevolence- as if he was not currently practically hanging by his neck as he lifted his hand to indicate to -now he realized the man was there- a frantic and forward moving Suoh not to intervene.
"He died from asphyxiation due to a seizure attack. Dr. Yamato confirmed it, Asami-sama."
He froze, there was no other way to describe the way his body went rigid as he searched Kirishima's eyes for some clue that what he had just said was anything but the cold hard truth and when it hit, when the gravity of the situation was understood by his brain, something inside him broke, something he had mistakenly thought had already broken the moment the confirmed Akihito's betrayal.
It was painful and came as a tugging, a pulling , then an overwhelming clenching he did not want to venture a guess where exactly, but it was there in his chest. His eyes closed to prevent the stinging from becoming tears he did not know he could cry and he kept them shut to prevent them from escaping while he took a moment to collect himself, but he couldn't, not completely.
It was just too painful, in the end Akihito had left him, he was gone and he would never see his open hazel eyes or hear his voice. He let go of Kirishima abruptly and this time Suoh did come forward to catch his friend and steady him before he plummeted to the floor.
He was about to lose it, his lungs felt like they wanted to expel every bit of air in them and a harsh grating noise he had never before uttered found its way out from somewhere deep in his soul before he could contain it. It was like nothing he had experienced before in his life. His hands were clay and beginning to tremble, it started in a slow wave and soon they were shaking uncontrollably. He needed to be alone, he needed to collect himself before someone noticed his state of mind and the reaction his body was having to the unsavory news. He thought a large hand was clenching his lungs, his chest, his head. It felt like lighting had gone through his body and the aftershock of its force coursed through him, shaking him to the very core.
"Get out." His voice was low and cold, he was quickly losing control and and needed all of them away before he broke down before his subordinates.
He just wanted them gone and out of his sight, he needed the solitude of his room, he needed privacy to sort things out. Asami took a breath in and he felt some of his control coming back, that is until Sudou opened his cursed mouth.. Why he ever thought that the manager would be even remotely close to distracting him even momentarily from Akihito he would never know. Sudou was bitter and lacked the good will and cheerfulness that Akihito had possessed, or the fire in his eyes much less his vitality and warmness.
"Asami, what's going on?"
He would not even grace the question with a look much less an answer and apparently Sudou realized it because he directed his next words to Kirishima instead of Asami.
"Did you say that brat was dead? But wasn't he dead two months ago after he betrayed Asami to the police?"
There was a hint of surprise in Sudou's voice but under that surprise, the delight and euphoria the young man felt was so clear it was almost palpable in the air around them. He always knew Sudou hated Akihito, it was one of the reasons why he had chosen to sleep with the manager, as some kind of revenge against Akihito's betrayal with Homura. Somehow, the fact that in the face of the wreck inside him regarding Akihito's death, Sudou was so joyful irritated him to no end. He looked at the opportune blond and seethed with anger. Kirishima and Suoh apparently felt the same way he did, because if looks could kill, Sudou would have been dead three times already from the glares they shot him after recovering from the momentary shock the young man's words had produced in them.
His hands itched to grave that slender little neck and squeeze the life out of him. Suoh must have seen it because without being prompted, the bodyguard stepped forward, grabbed Sudou, and started dragging him out of the room for swift disposal after giving his boss a nod.
Sudou fought the tall man all the way out of the room and his screams for aid from Asami could be heard through the whole house. Sudou screamed and fought, he pulled his arm and dug his bare feet on the floor to try to gain some traction and stop the advance. The bodyguard just kept pulling him like he was a rag doll and the fact that the naked young man posed resistance didn't seem to faze him at all.
"Wait! Where are you taking me? Unhand me this instant! I need to dress! Asami! Tell this oaf- Asami! Help me!-"
Asami did not care about Sudou, he could care less about the way Suoh might chosoe to get rid of the annoying manager. He was done with Sudou, he was done with pretending that just anyone to fill the gap Akihito had created in him.
Moments after the bodyguard left, dragging Sudou behind him, Asami heard the front door close with a loud slam and Kirishima left the bedroom after a quick bow.
He took the opportunity to find solitude and cool down under the cold water of the shower. He felt dirty covered with Sudou's sweat and other bodily fluids, his need to cleanse himself from any trace of the blond was almost as encompassing as his need to make sure Kirishima had been wrong and Akihito was still alive in the same place he left him.
Under the cold water he thought about what could have been Akihito's last thought, did he think about Asami before the last light left his eyes? He thought about his life and Akihito no longer being in it and that clenching in his chest returned full force. Asami fell to his knees after the lack of air from his constricted lungs weakened him and his legs had started trembling. He let the water run over his face to conceal the salty drops he could no longer contain and ran both hands through his dark hair, pulling at it slightly.
The man who controlled and owned all of Tokyo if not all of Japan groaned his deep sorrow in a quiet lament, allowing himself an uncharacteristic moment of weakness. He punched the tile floor upon which he kneeled and fought to keep the shameful sounds of his sadness at bay. It had to be a lie, some kind of sick joke and he needed to be certain, to make sure Akihito was alive.
Asami left the bathroom after calming himself down and making his resolve to see things with his own eyes and confirm the obvious lie of Akihito's death. He was not in the mood to put on his prim and proper shell in the form of a three piece suit, he had not the will or the desire to waste more time donning his usual attire so he opted for a black polo shirt and khaki pants. The yakuza did not spare a second to talk to his secretary, he simply walked out the condo and to the elevator without stopping. He could feel Kirishima walking behind him at a proper distance but he did not care to waste even a second on any kind of verbal exchange.
The walk out of the building and into the limo as well as the ride to the apartment complex had never seemed so long. That trembling in his hands was starting again and he tightened the hold on his cigarette to try to control it. During the time spent in the limo he could not help the thoughts that invaded his mind, again and again questions swarmed his senses. He did not even notice Kirishima's preoccupied gaze as he watched out the window.
'Why?'
'Why?'
'Why?'
'Why did he leave me?'
'Why did he betray me?'
'Why did he leave me?'
'Why?'
The limousine stopped in front of the cheap apartment complex and Kirishima had to bring his boss back to reality from whatever world his mind had gone to. He opened the door, stepped outside and held the door open for his boss.
"Asami-sama, we are here." He could hear the hesitation in Kirishima's voice, the secretary didn't know what awaited them inside either.
"Hm." He said and exited the vehicle with sure steps that masked the trepidation in his mind.
He walked every step to the door of the studio apartment careful to not let the slight shaking of his hand become noticeable. Kirishima opened the door for him and he stepped inside while his secretary followed him in but stayed away.
It was the beginning of December and the temperature inside the small apartment was almost as chilling as the cold morning air outside, despite the place having been locked and the light of the sun shining into the small space.
His nose caught the various odors inside the apartment and he had to fight the impulse to gag at the smell of rancid vomit, stale alcohol, and sweat that invaded his nose in waves offending to the senses. The place was disgusting, as he stood in the middle of the small room he could not understand what the hell could have happened in the time he had been gone.
His eyes analysed every surface of the room and took in every possible clue to try to figure out what could have possibly gone wrong. The magazines he had brought to Akihito as a prize for behaving and following his instructions lay in a pile in the corner, they were covered with dust, obviously gathered during weeks of neglect. Then he saw the futon on the floor, the sheets were all over the place, covered with the stains of dry sweat and what he surmised were dried tears and saliva. He had heard Akihito cry on various occasions when he had not realized he was being watched. His hands had itched to caress his hair, to give him some comfort, but he had remembered Akihito's betrayal to his worst enemy and kept himself sitting on the couch, just watching the boy until the smell of his cigarette alerted the boy that he was not alone.
His eyes fell upon the trail of blood leading from the window to the bathroom and he followed them like a moth to flame, almost mindlessly. He reached the bathroom door and could not even take one more step into the room. Asami sucked in a breath as he took in the scene before him, he barely registered Kirishima running to stop next to him and cover his mouth with a shaking hand.
Asami could tell Akihito had been crying, twin trails of dried tears and dried blood blemished his once smooth rosy cheeks. Akihito's once sumptuous lips were blue, dry and cracked. The once vivacious eyes were open and staring forward, they were empty of the life and fire they used to contain, all the light had disappeared from them and left them soulless opaque pools of nothingness.
He saw the shard of glass in the small hand and his eyes moved to the diagonal line opening the flesh of Akihito's arm as well as the blood that had run freely from it. The body he had spent so many nights exploring and caressing lay prone, covered in dried blood and vomit. Whatever pieces of that thing that had previously broken inside him broke even more inside his chest and the clenching made him feel slightly faint as he stood frozen in the doorway.
'Akihito...' He thought. 'his last moments had been spent trying to take his own life before the seizure interrupted him.'
The realization of what the boy had been doing before the seizure took his life made him feel even more empty than he had realized. Akihito had been so desperate, he saw taking his own life as the only way out.
He had finally broken the blond's will, Akihito never did things the way Asami wanted and sadly breaking was yet another thing the boy did on his own terms. Something wet trailed down his cheeks and in his shock he ignored it, someone gasped and he no longer knew if it was him, Kirishima or Suoh. He couldn't control his emotions any more and saw no need for his cold compose front any longer. Anger overtook him and he moved forward, toward the rigid body upon the cold tile floor and kneeling down, pulled it by the front of the dirty shirt onto his lap.
Asami's hair had lost it's pristine arrangement as his face shook back and forth in denial of what was before him. He shook the body violently, trying to awaken the boy and bring that bubbly energy back into the cold and empty container that was now Akihito. His voice came out cold and composed when he finally spoke, despite the fact that he was truly anything but. Inside Asami was a whirlwind of emotions that threatened to spill from within.
"You can't die brat. I won't allow it. You belong to me. Only I'm allowed to kill you. So wake up."
"Wake up damn it, you are not allowed to leave me."
"Wake up, Akihito, come back to me."
"Akihito, please, come back to me. Don't leave me. I'm sorry, please come back."
At some point during his pleading he had stopped shaking the lifeless body and instead, held it tightly against his chest. Asami rocked back and forth in desperation, wet trails stained his face and he hid his face in the crook of Akihito's neck. He took in a breath, hoping to smell Akihito's sweet comforting scent but all that remained was the smell of death he knew so much and had previously been able to escape in Akihito's loving embrace. He could try to delude himself as much as he wanted but in the end he had to accept that Akihito was no longer there. Asami Ryuichi, the man who had it all, had never felt so alone.
'Akihito, I am so sorry. Akihito... Akihito... Akihito...'
Kirishima gave him privacy, he was sure he was a sorry sight but at this moment he couldn't care less. Asami held Akihito in a grip so tight it would have broken bones had the body not been in the process of rigor. His mind was full of denial, self delusion and apologies he would never be able to get an answer to. Maybe he should have done things differently, Akihito had betrayed him in the worst possible way, had it been someone else he would have killed him for his betrayal. But this was Akihito, he could not have ended the boy's life even if he wanted to, despite how much he had tried not to, Asami had grown to care more than he would like to admit to.
Instead of death, he had chosen to impart punishment, he had gone too far, he had broken Akihito and the boy had been in the midst of taking his own life before the seizure took him. He had put his lover in a prison, a small, cold, lonely, damp prison. He had sucked the will out of him, slowly driven the boy to desperation and sickness. It was all his fault and he knew it, he had sought to punish, to pay back the hurt Akihito had caused him. He didn't want Akihito gone forever, betrayal had hurt but it did not hurt nearly as bad as having Akihito's cold, limp body in his arms.
Asami knew that he would never forgive himself for not paying more attention, for pushing Akihito to the edge, just as much as he knew that he would never forget the first time he saw Akihito's body on the floor as he stood in the bathroom doorway, the image will haunt him for the rest of his life. He washed the cold body and cleaned every nook and cranny of what used to be Akihito. Suoh brought in a change of clothes at his request and he dressed it carefully and laid him on the couch, as if Akihito was just sleeping and not dead and sat next to it. He would send specific instructions as to where the body should be taken after he left the apartment, right now, all he could think about was that he needed some more time in private to mourn.
It was hours later when he emerged from the small apartment, his mask back on and his semblance composed. It was his fault, that he knew, but Homura also had a hand to play in these events and he would make sure that the man paid for leading Akihito on a path away from him.
****VF****
December was almost gone, the streets and storefronts were decorated with reds, whites, greens and lights of all different colors. As he sat on the limo looking at the outside world, the cheer and happiness of the people of Tokyo with the approach of the holidays was almost palpable.
It was almost Christmas and he watched people walk by with gifts for their loved ones, Akihito had loved Christmas, the lights and the bubbly happiness that seemed to fill every part of their city. Asami had delighted in watching him fret about what to buy for his friends and about who would be going to their parties at that old lady's establishment. Akihito used to spend months trying to find the perfect gift for the man who had it all and Asami liked to pretend he did not notice it. He would smile wide and his hazel eyes used to shine with the contagious happiness of the atmosphere, he used to think there was something in the air around this time of the year and whatever it was, Akihito caught it every time.
The golden eyed man looked away from the joyful scenes of the outside world, trying to at least momentarily forget that he would never see those things again. He had seen the looks both Kirishima and Suoh gave him when they thought he wasn't looking, they pitied him, despite how hard he tried to conceal how he felt and kept his semblance in the unreadable mask he was so known for they still knew. They knew he blamed himself and knew how he felt, Asami never thought he would ever be pitied by anyone much less his most trusted subordinates and only friends. He analyzed the last couple of weeks and knew immediately when the looks had started.
Asami had tasked Kirishima with providing a cover story for Takaba's death and delivering the new to the boy's friends and family. There had been a closed casket funeral, he had arranged for it but he didn't go, there were too many cops and people who would ask too many questions if they saw him. Asami sat behind tinted windows in his limo and watched from a safe distance as Akihito's mother and grandmother broke down, holding on to their respective husbands.
He saw a white limo parked not too far away from his and had an idea who it belonged to. Feilong wouldn't want to be around so many cops either and after all the things he had screamed at Asami just a week ago the yakuza knew his Chinese counterpart didn't want to be anywhere nwe him either.
The very day of the funeral, once everyone had left, he had arranged for the body to be cremated and delivered to him and had the urn placed in his home office. He should have known Feilong would have someone keeping watch just in case he did something like that but lately he had not been thinking right and had been acting out of character. The very next day Feilong had shown up at Sion and demanded he either returned the ashes to Akihito's family or had them buried in the boy's grave where they should have stayed so all the people who had loved him could come visit.
"Stop trying to monopolize him! He was yours and look what happened, he is not yours anymore, Akihito will never again belong to you. He is finally free, as he should have stayed, and you need to stop keeping him from those who loved him. Even in death you want to keep him to yourself, trapped. Let him go."
He didn't want to, he wanted to keep Akihito with him forever, but the image of how he had already caged Akihito in life and how it had ended assaulted him until he realized he should not keep Akihito caged after death also. Briefly he thought about sending the ashes to the boy's family but the thought of not being able to visit the boy's remnants was as unsavory as giving them away. So he compromised and had them buried in Akihito's grave like Feilong suggested.
With a heavy and uncharacteristical sigh, he exited the limo and followed by his closest men, he directed his steps towards his empty home. As he sat in his home office, pondering over the leads to Homura's hiding place, his eyes kept darting back to the empty marble pedestal the urn had rested on. He tried not to look, specially in front of his men, but his eyes seemed to have a mind of their own and kept going to the pedestal.
At least Kirishima and Suoh knew not to talk about it and besides the looks they gave him from time to time, they never brought the subject up. He was grateful to them for not touching such a sore subject, he was volatile enough without them talking about such things. Asami spent all his energy on finding Homura and making sure he got his revenge, turning all his hurt into anger and using it as fuel for his resolve. Homura will know pain the likes of which he had never imagined when Asami caught him.
Shortly after, Akihito's phone received a voice message from one of his friends, the secretary had gone to investigate and had found what had been keeping Akihito away for such a long time, what Akihito had kept secret from him.
When he received the picture message on his phone he understood what Kirishima had been trying to say with it. 'You were wrong about him… He was innocent.' The photo of the studio provided him with another answer, now he knew where that picture in Homura's face hiding place, the one they had been led to not too long ago, had been taken. Akihito had been working in his friend's studio, just like he had said he was… and he had been working on a gift for him.
Kirishima had returned with the gift, seeing it in person was like a bucket of water had been thrown on top of him but he restrained himself from showing outwardly what he was feeling inside.
The beautiful photographic triptych was a testament to Akihito's devotion to him, it was clear the boy had spent countless hours working on it. It was truly a work of art, the composite images in black and white and the glow technique fit perfectly to create a cityscape, Tokyo, and over it subtly imposed into the city was Asami with his golden eyes being the only color in the work. The one who ruled over Tokyo from the shadows standing before his dominion and watching over it. Akihito's loyalty was no longer a question, the gift was the truest expression of love Akihito had ever given him, it had all been a frame job and Asami had realized it too late.
The triptych now rested on the wall of his home office and almost covered it, completely taking it over, just like Akihito had taken over his life leaving room for no other.
Out of this mess, the only thing good was the advantage he gained over Homura by learning the truth without Homura knowing it.
****VF****
The news from the underworld had reached them - likely because Homura wanted it to - and Asami's best and most discreet men, under the lead of Suoh, broke into the small apartment in Shibuya. They went in, surveyed the place, gathered anything of relevance and retreated as silently as a shadow. The stealth and speed of the operation had been for nothing, he had assigned men to keep watch over the place but Homura never came back to it. How he learned that the place had been compromised, Asami didn't know, but the man had stayed away from the trap his lair had become.
Asami decided he wanted to inspect Suoh's findings in his home's private office. If Kirishima's reaction after talking on the phone with Suoh was anything to go by, he had a bad feeling that whatever his bodyguard had found in Homura's lair would not be something he would like to see in a place where others might see him.
He was a man who took pride in his strong constitution, there were not many things that got to him or made him sick, but seeing the packets of Rophynol, all the surveillance pictures of Akihito - over a year's worth of them with angry slashes over the boy's face, the candid shots of Takaba and him together despite how careful they were in public, and the detailed diaries documenting every moment and action of Akihito during his daily life had made him so sick he had been at the edge of throwing up, but thankfully he managed to contain the feeling. Another wave of nausea hit when he realized Homura had at one point considered killing Akihito himself instead of driving Asami to do it but had opted not to.
Asami examined the most recent of the bundles of pictures, it was a series taken by a camera on a timer and had been organized methodically in a family album as if they were the most precious of memories and needed to be preserved for posterity. Again, he had to contain his need to be sick as he looked at each and every one of them, the horror on his face must have been clear, because his eyes had briefly registered Kirishima watch him with concern and then look away hastily.
Asami continued to flip through the album's pages until the very end, that damn shaking in his hands was back and they trembled almost uncontrollably and increasingly as he continued to flip page after page. It had only taken Asami a second to realize the picture they had found in Homura's fake lair, the one they had been let to like a horse to water, was part of the picture series in the photo album. He had believed that Akihito had been his enemy's lover, had believed all of homura's lies and Akihito had paid for his mistake… how foolish he had been. Akihito, his innocent Akihito, had been a victim to Homura's cruelty. Had been violated and used like some kind of toy while his mind had been disconnected from his body by the drugs. He had been helpless to Homura's plots and violations and the whole ordeal had been documented with a clinical detachment with the sole purpose to make Asami suffer. This whole time he had been playing Homura's game, had been dancing to the sick bastard's tune. The man had planned it all to torment Asami when he finally learned the truth, when he finally found Homura's records of all he had done to Akihito and how Asami had believed his lies. There was that clenching in his chest again… the clenching and the shaking of his hands… will they ever stop?
'He must be laughing to his heart's content right now. Celebrating his triumph and smirking victoriously, but that laugh will not last him long. I will make sure I end him like I should have done all those years ago. I will make him pay.'
"Sir, we have not been able to find any clues about Homura's new hiding spot. I have instructed our people in low places to keep their ears open in case any word about him is heard." Kirishima said after Asami had finished examining the contents of Homura's lair.
His voice was cold, ice, sure, and filled with lust for blood and vengeance as he answered. He knew Homura like he knew the back of his hand and the man would show up eventually when his hubris got the best of him.
"He can't stay quiet for long, Homura has a twisted necessity to show his face in an attempt to taunt, is like he can't control it. It doesn't matter though, I will hunt him down before that and exterminate him like the rat he is." Asami knew Homura wasn't through with his surprise, he knew the sick man would have more things planned to torment him and wouldn't be satisfied until he killed Asami, but Asami would be prepared now for whatever Homura threw his way.
Asami needed a drink, his semblance was fluctuating between anger, control, hurt, remorse and guilt. He needed to get out of his home and be far away from the evidence of Homura's plots and the memory of what he had done to Akihito. Asami was running away; for the first time in his life he was running from something and that something turned out to be the consequences of his own actions, of his distrust in the only person who would have never betrayed him, the only one who had truly loved him.
He tried to escape his guilt all the way to Sion, all the way to his club's bar, and all the way to the bottom of countless bottles of fine liquor. Regardless of how much he drank that night, the guilt of what he had done kept consuming him. This night, just this night, he would allow himself to grieve and then he will put on his unbreachable persona and hunt Homura to the ends of the Earth if necessary. He drank at the bar, Suoh and Kirishima kept the area cleared for him but eventually the voices of other people intruded in his pain and he had the club closed early so he could continue to grieve in peace.
It was somewhere around five in the morning and the three of them were the only ones at the club. He could practically feel his men's desire to get him back home, into his bed and away from his… tenth bottle? He didn't remember anymore. The way Kirishima kept furrowing his brow and staring at him was already starting to annoy him.
"Don't look so constipated, Kirishima. Do you truly begrudge me this indulgence?"
"You know that's not true, Asami-sama. It's just Suoh and I both feel-"
He didn't care at the moment how they felt about the matter, honestly he just couldn't, and despite the waves of frustration and displeasure coming off both his subordinates. He knew they were both vexed about his current condition but he just couldn't care so he interrupted Kirishima mid sentence before his right hand man went too far with his opinions.
"Teaming up on me? It's too bad for you majority doesn't rule around here."
"Of course, but we-"
There he was again, with his mothering and concern when all Asami wanted was to purge his mind and be left to his own devices for just one night.
"I've told you he won't try anything now. It wouldn't suit his style. He wants me to suffer, and he wants to see me suffer."
He saw Kirishima open and close his mouth a couple times before he finally spoke, the secretary was really starting to get on his nerves at this point.
"But surely now it's okay to take you home where we can better secure the situation."
Asami knew what Kirishima ment by 'securing the situation' in this particular moment was actually 'keep you away from prying eyes before you make a fool of yourself and it gets out to important people.' Asami laughed at his secretary's worried expression and lifted an amused eyebrow in his general direction. He knew what he looked like, somewhere between shit and disheveled shame, and Kirishima wanted to keep his public image intact.
"The situation? Always so euphemistic, Kirishima. You mean me getting drunk off my ass, don't you?"
Still chuckling he startled them by suddenly standing up and grabbing a tequila bottle from the top of the bar, he didn't even bother with a glass at this point and drank directly from it.
'God, I hate tequila, no matter… right now all alcohol is alcohol… and I need it to get numb so I don't have to look too closely at the meaning behind this damn painful clenching in my chest.'
The tone of voice from Kirishima alerted Asami that the man was quickly reaching the limits of his patience.
"Diplomacy is the hallmark of good business."He said and Asami could not help the amused snort that escaped him, somehow it felt like a moment for a joke though his dark sense of humor was not the greatest considering.
"That or a reliable semi-automatic."
They didn't answer, all they did was stand there looking at him with furrowed brows and anxious disapproval.
"You know, proper henchmen would laugh at that." Kirishima and Suoh would not laugh just to placate him, especially when they knew his dark humor was in no way an indication that his state of mind was turning anywhere toward anything good.
With a sigh, he pushed back the hair that seemed to have as its mission getting into his eyes tonight, it had long lost its semblance of perfection, just like the rest of him, and fell whichever way it wanted to. Kirishima huffed in frustration and it amused Asami momentarily to see him losing his patience and tap his foot on the floor, that is until he caught the look of pity again, all the concern was starting to piss him off.
He didn't need, want, or deserve concern from anyone much less his subordinates, it was all so nauseating. Anger was beginning to rise in him again and he tried to temper it with a nicotine boost but couldn't find them. The cigarettes were in his jacket and he had taken that off about three hours ago, he cursed lowly at his cancer sticks not being close when he needed them, but Kirishima offered him a cigarette and the lighter's flame before he had a chance to do something about it. He sucked on the calming nicotine and it was like an ephemeral balm for his soul.
'At least I can always count on Kirishima to give me what I need when I need it...' He thought, nodding in acknowledgement to the secretary and sucking on the cigarette again. His night of self indulgence was coming to an end, after tonight he would not spare more time to grieve his lover's loss, not until he got rid of Homura. He would dedicate all his energy to the task and turn over every single stone in Tokyo if necessary… he would find Homura, soon.
"Bring the car around." The short order was followed by a quick bow from Suoh and the blond leaving the room faster than he had ever seen him move. They must really want him out of here and in his home. He watched Kirishima's barely concealed look of relief as the secretary gathered his boss' scattered belongings and it confirmed his suspicions. Still holding the bottle, he led the way to the door where Suoh and the BMW waited for him.
He was imagining Akihito as he drank from Akihito's navel after licking salt off him, draped on the kitchen table and later sucking on the boy's cock. He had a smirk on his face but once again Kirishima's clearing of throat and hopeful words yanked his mind back to reality.
"Asami-sam. Where to? Home?"
"I'd say the night is still young, but that's a lie. In any case, no. Yanaka Cemetery" It was clear Kirishima was not happy about his choice but he just nodded and passed the order to Suoh. He watched the Christmas decorations they passed and thought about Akihito again.
He watched his palm and smirked at the thought of contracting a palm reader to give him the answers he needed.
"Do you read palms, Kirishima?" He asked suddenly with a cigarette dangling from his lips, Kirishima again failed to appreciate his humor.
"I'm afraid they didn't teach that at Tokyo University, Asami-sama."
"Hn. Just as well. My mother read my palm once."
"Is that so? And did her reading prove accurate?"
"She said that I would rise to great heights, find love in an unexpected place, and have the ability to make all my desires come true."
"That's...rather accurate."
"I'm fairly certain it was the fortune for Leo in that day's newspaper."
"Ah."
"She also predicted I'd have three black-haired brats with eyes of golden-brown to follow in my footsteps. I'm fairly certain that was wishful thinking."
"Not necessarily Asami-sama, you could still find someone in the future."
"No, after Akihito, finding someone else it seems unlikely."
"You think there would be any chance of finding someone like him? Akihito is irreplaceable, my mother's predictions could not be more wrong on that aspect."
'God, I hate tequila, bourbon would have been a better choice… too late now… too late.' He thought, knowing he was not just referring to his choice on alcohol.
"Did you ever make a Molotov cocktail, Kirishima?"
"I'm afraid not."
"Pity."
'Akihito would have found it fun.' He thought, laughing lowly.
"Oi! Can't this thing go any faster?" Suoh increased the speed and he ended up bumping into the door.
He was imagining in great detail how wonderful it would feel to dice Homura into tiny pieces with his hands using the man's knives and barely registered when Suoh's voice announce their arrival at the cemetery.
"Asami-sama, we are here. Are you sure you want to do this?"
Asami ignored him and exited the car with the bottle still at hand and his two closest men following him at a short distance. He had been here twice before. The first time, Akihito's body was being delivered into the earth inside a mahogany casket while he sat in his limo at a safe distance. The second time had been after he ordered the ashes to be placed in Akihito's grave, he had come alone and didn't speak of it to anyone, not even Kirishima.
He stood over the grave and recalled what his life had been like ever since he saw Akihito jump off that building. What it had become after the boy had started living with him and once he had accepted their relationship. Asami realized he had been happy and wasn't sure if he would ever feel such a way ever again. He could feel the tears beginning to form in his eyes and used his forearm to wipe them away as he was confronted once more with the reality of his sins against his lover. The bottle fell to the ground shortly before he fell to his knees, he needed to be here or he would not be able to momentarily purge the emotions he was feeling before chasing down Homura.
It was ironic: holding Akihito's limp body in that bloody, vomit filled bathroom had been his purest moment with Akihito since before the three months he had him trapped in the small apartment. One last reunion with his past needed to be taken care of before he could in some way find a way to deal with his guilt. Asami had cried, screamed, begged and apologized, his suffering poured out of him like a river and his two closest men kept their distance through the whole ordeal. When there was nothing else he wanted to say he got up and silently walked back to the car where Kirishima was holding the door open and they drove away, his home as the last destination of the day.
****VF****
The display Asami had made in public in the bar as well as the cemetery had been filled with raw anger and pain as well as self directed disgust. It had clearly reached Homura's ears and the man was leading them to where he wanted them to be. It was a challenge and Asami would meet it without any fear. He had finally been able to reassemble himself into the appearance of the iron willed man, the immovable wall nothing was able to take down and the image of flawlessness.
He had taken a long shower, donned his trademark three piece suit under which rested his holster and guns and accommodated his hair to its usual gelled perfection. He walked to his home office and Kirishima followed closely. He fought not to hesitate to enter the room, the evidences of Homura's use of Akihito in his plans were still resting on his desk, they spoke for a while, making plans to proceed with caution, but Kirishima's eyes kept darting to the triptych and he walked around the desk to look at it as well.
The low sound of Kirishima's phone beeping let him know it was time to leave.
"Let's go."
"Suoh is waiting below."
"Is everyone in place?"
"Yes. Do you still feel it's a set up?"
"The timing of the information is too convenient. Just after we discovered his supposed bolt hole, and he's all but vanished into thin air until now? But it doesn't matter. He's very clever, but he's also deranged. He'll slip up at some point, and I'll be there to take advantage of it. Besides, I also know how to push his buttons."
"I still wish you'd consider allowing me or Suoh to proceed first. If-"
"Even if this is just another step in his game, don't assume anything. We'll proceed as planned."
"Of course, Asami-sama."
He would meet Yuta's challenge head on, Asami would not back down despite Kirishima's and Suoh's misgivings.
They rode silently through the city as they followed the trace Homura had left for them to follow.
"Any updates?"
"Nothing yet, shall I contact our people in the streets?"
"No, they have instructions to contact you with any new information. Did you make sure they will be discrete?"
"It's all taken care of, Asami-sama. They will make sure to keep their eyes open and will inform us without anyone noticing."
"Any objections?"
"No sir. everyone knows not to deny you a favor."
They continued to ride in silence until Suoh's voice came through the intercom, indicating they were close to the place their informant had indicated. Asami's phone began ringing and he fished it out of his jacket, he already knew who it was.
"Asami."
"Ryuichi. I hope you've had a nice afternoon drive." Yuta's voice came from the phone's speaker.
'The bastard is really enjoying this.'
"Homura, it's been a long time. You should have stayed dead."
"You're cruel, Ryuichi. Is that what you really wish? I wonder why you're on your way to find me then."
"We have unfinished business, you and I. New and old."
"You've got my little gift then? If I hadn't led you by the nose, you would never have found my little home away from, but I dont expect thanks. In any case, it's a beautiful memento of your sweet little lover, isn't it? Family memories are important."
Every word uttered by Yuta brought back the memories of that day in the apartment's bathroom, every image in those pictures from Homura's sick photo album and all the things that had been found in Homura's home.
'I will make sure you pay for everything you've done Yuta, with interest that I will be happy to collect.'
He didn't reply to Homura's taunt and he felt it as license to continue talking.
"Does it bother you? That I tasted all of his charms? I can see why you wanted him. Pity he had to die for his sins. Well, what you thought were his sins. I knew that would be what finally did it, what finally unleashed that demon inside that you like to pretend you control. You never did like to share. How was it, Ryuichi? How did it feel to snuff the life out of your beautiful toy? You can tell me. After all who would understand better than I? It felt intoxicating, didn't it? Did you look into his eyes as the last bit of his life faded? Did you drink in his fear and pain and despair? It certainly took you fucking long enough to get to it."
The taunts continued, Homura was baiting him and assaulting him with the reminder that he had not trusted his lover, that he backed Akihito into a corner, trampled all over his will and caused his death. No, Asami had not been there as Homura had expected, he had not seen the life leave his eyes but what he had seen when he went into that bathroom was just as painful.
'Killed your innocent lover.' Yuta's words kept going around his mind as he listened to the man go on and on.
"Do you think you can stop me? Then find your way home. That's all you have to do. I'll be waiting."
'Home? Why would Yuta want to go back there? There is nothing left there for either of us.'
"The old neighborhood? That dump? Fuck no." Homura was in Asami's home, the realization filled him with anger. He did not want Homura to know he had no more tricks to play against him.
Yuta was taking a tour of Asami's home, he knew he would not make it back in time but tried to keep Homura out of the office never the less, Asami didn't want him to know that his last card had already been revealed.
Homura ignored him and continued to explore the condo at his leisure still rubbing all of Asami's mistakes in his face and goading him into uncontrolled anger. How had someone so derranged been his lover? How was someone so damaged his brother? Asami was disgusted and sickened with the thought.
Eventually, he made it too the office, he was angry that he had been denied the opportunity to cause more grief to Asami by sending in Akihito's gift when Asami was overcoming the situation. Asami would have given anything to be closer to his home so he could kill the delusional and insane man.
"This… how did you get this? It wasn't time yet! How did you get it?"
"Nothing stops me from taking what is mine. You should know that?"
"When? When did you get this?"
"Just this morning, actually, it made me look forward to our meeting even more than you could imagine."
"Liar, liar!"
"Yuta, listen to me-"
"Shut up! Goddammit! You- you are so eager to see me are you not? I bet your hand's are itching to have me within your grasp."
"Homura, you cowardly piece of shit. Grow a pair of balls and face me here and now."
"Fine then, let's end this once and for all Ryuichi, I will rip you apart, gut you like a fish and shove your insides down your throat. I'll face you Ryuichi, right over your beloved Akihito's grave. I'll meet you there."
Homura hung up and Asami wasted no time to tell Suoh their new destination, he wanted all this to be done, he wanted Yuta and the shadows of their past out of his life, once and for all.
"Suoh, to Yanaka Cemetery." His order was followed immediately and Suoh took the next exit that would lead them in the direction of the cemetery.
Fifteen minutes later, Asami was stepping out of the vehicle and following the path that would lead him to Akihito's grave.
"But Asami-sama you can't think that we will let you do this on your own. We are here to hel-"
"No, Kei, this is something I have to do."
Kirishima and Suoh followed behind him but he had warned them to not interfere, this was something he had to do on his own.
Yuta was sitting on Akihito's headstone, plucking the petals out of the fresh flowers likely brought by a friend or family member.
'He has no respect even for the dead...' Asami thought as he got closer to the man.
In his hand was one of Homura's knives, he had kept it all these years and he still did not know why. 'I guess unconsciously I had been waiting for this moment all along.' Homura lifted his eyes and smiled at him with manic sadism.
"I didn't know if you would come Ryuichi. I was starting to get bored keeping our Akihito here some company."
"Don't worry Yuta, after I'm done with you, you will never again be bored. There will be plenty to keep you busy in the pits of hell."
"Ah, brother, I will not be alone in hell. Be sure that if I go down I am taking you with me."
Homura charged at Asami with a knife of his own in his hand, the glee in his eyes as he aimed at Asami's stomach would have scared a lesser man but Asami did not falter in his countering of Homura's attack.
He threw a kick at Asami's knee but the latter dodged the the blow and delivered a kick of his own which landed on Yuta's shin. The next blow ripped into Asami's side, tearing his suit and the tender flesh of his waist. Asami punched him in the face, his fist connecting with Homura's jaw and he thrusted his knife forward, opening an angry gash on the man's arm.
They continued to throw blows at each other and both men were covered in angry lacerations from their knives. In a show of skill, Asami managed to make Yuta trip and fall over Akihito's grave, he slashed at the prone man's wrist, making him let go of the knife and drove his own through Homura's other hand pinning him to the ground. He took Homura's knife and used it to savagely tear into the man's chest in a fit of rage like floodgates had been open, he kept throwing blows almost with manic euphoria until he was able to rip out his enemy's heart and shove it in Yuta's mouth before stabbing the knife into the place where the heart used to rest.
Blood poured from both of them coloring the ground over Akihito's grave with a rich shade of crimson from the two men who had ruined and collectively ended his life. Asami kneeled straddling the prone body, hopefully all this blood will wash away his sin… Hopefully it will pay for some of what he had done… hopefully.
He sat on the cold bloodied ground and after some time got up and walked his soiled, injured, and hardly pristine self to the vehicle where his most trust worthy men and his only friends waited, itching to come to his aid. It was finally over, Homura was gone and Asami could finally deal with the things he had set aside until now.
The first thing was to learn how to live without Akihito.
The second will be to look into what the emptiness he felt in his chest meant and why the hell he felt so cold.