A/N- The idea for this story is based on an actual event in my life.
It's only a glimpse. Not even a glimpse really. A flicker.
Most of the times it could just be a trick of the light. Or maybe my eyes are just seeing things. Things that shouldn't be there. My imagination getting the best of me. Carried away in its own little stories of what the world is like. At least. That's what I'm always told.
But I don't believe them.
I didn't have any concept of what you could be. Not back then. I was too young, and it was too dark. A time in my life to make up fun and games. No. I knew…know you are real. You had to be. There was just no way it wasn't real. It was just that only I could see you.
I remember the first time perfectly. It was just a couple of days after my mom and dad passed away in the car accident. Nani didn't know what to do. We were alone and then she had to raise me. She wasn't ready to be a parent, and right after she didn't really talk much. Neither of us did. It took me a while to realize that mom and dad weren't coming home, and after that I felt empty. I guess I could understand why people thought I made you up. A lonely child, with no one to turn to. Imaginary friends would be a normal thing, in even a normal child's life.
The thing is, imaginary friends have weight. They have shape. They have looks. Ask any kid what their imaginary friend's name is, and they can go on and on about their names, what they look like, and the adventures they had. That's why I know you're not imaginary.
No. I know I wasn't imagining the shadows moving. Starting to take a shape of their own. Growing larger, large enough that you'd think an adult was casting you. There wasn't anyone there to make your shadow. You were just there on your own. Both of you. And I'm still not sure why, but you felt so comforting. Like something I was missing was back. Neither of you had faces, but I could feel your smiles.
You played with me. Looked out for me. Made me feel safe. Perhaps I could attribute it to a day dream, or hopeful wishing for companionship in the time I felt most alone. But not on multiple occasions. And not in multiple places. Everywhere I went after that I saw you two. On the trees, on buildings, in the house, in the stores. Even at hula school. Wherever I went, you went. Always looking out for me. Thank you for that. Nani did her best, but she needed the help, even if she didn't know she was getting it.
Eventually I had to tell her. I didn't really know what to call you though. You didn't speak, and you didn't even have a name. Shadow People was the best I could come up with. And thinking back on it, it turned out to be exactly right. Minus the darkness, scariness, and evilness that most people think you come with. I remember being confused by the worried look on her face. I was certain she had seen them too. At first she thought I was making you up. A silly, childish joke. However my insistence made her realize that wasn't the case. She asked where I saw you and so I told her about the first time you appeared in mom and dad's room.
I think she actually became scared when I said you were standing behind her. Up against the fridge and kitchen wall. I knew she couldn't see you the moment she turned around. A small shiver went down her spine. Clearly she didn't feel the warmness that you give off. I was disheartened when she told me not to go back into mom and dad's room. She even locked the door so I couldn't go in without her. I was even sadder when she said I couldn't tell anyone what I was seeing.
The only other thing I remember from that night was crying. I did a lot of crying. So much that I thought I couldn't anymore. Each moment I thought the tears had finally stopped, that I was finally empty of everything, they would instantly start up again. You were there for me though. I couldn't feel you, but I could see you. Always in the corner of my eyes. I knew you were watching over me. That comfort was enough.
I suppose at least I should be grateful that Nani believed me when I told her. She said not to tell anyone and she was right. If there was one thing I would go back and change, it would be the time I told my friends.
Liar.
Crazy.
Freak.
Weirdlo.
The names started and never ceased. I always knew I was different. I liked different things from the other kids. Played different games. It wasn't until then though that I truly felt like I was different. That I didn't belong. Nani always told me that they just didn't know what to say. Yet they were never short on words. After that I even noticed the adults started to look at me differently. Maybe I mentioned you a few too many times. I guess I just hoped that at least one other person could see you. Anyone. I just wanted to be able to fit in somewhere. Instead I just found more and more isolation.
That's when I began to lash out. It wasn't the best choice. I shouldn't have done it. Just because I felt the way I did didn't give me the right to hurt others. Especially not Nani. I'll never know how hard that entire year was for her. Especially not after I started talking about moving shadows. Maybe if she would have been able to see you, she would have felt better. Just something about you always made me feel at peace.
You were never around when I got angry. You were never there when I lashed out. You were never there when I hurt others. Were you ashamed of me? Was I upsetting you? Did I unknowingly hurt the only small comfort I had? I don't know. I may never know. But you always returned. Always came back. Thank you for that. I really only wish the two of you would have stuck around longer.
I didn't even notice it happening. After we adopted Stitch, I saw less and less of you. What used to be full views, soon became just movements out of the corner of my eyes. And soon those even began to fade. Eventually you were gone completely. What did you look like? Was one of you tall, or were you both tall? Did you form completely, or slowly grow from the shadows? I try so hard to remember. I suppose I didn't need your comfort anymore. Yet something inside of me hurts thinking about not needing you. Every now and then I think about the two of you and it's followed by a deep sadness. A loss of something precious. A loss, but not forgotten.
It's amazing to think that I'm an adult now. I still feel like the child that needed you there to fall asleep at night. Now I can barely remember you at all. Just short flashes of memories of what I know were hours of playing. How did time fade them so much? Now when I think of my protector, I think of Stitch instead of you. It's been like that for a very long time now. A part of me will always hold onto you though. I really wish Stitch could have met you. Gotten to know the two of you like I did. In the end, I really just wanted to share you with those I care about. You did so much for me, you deserve some recognition.
Why am I thinking about all of these things this morning? I've been racing around the house getting things together. I woke up late again and I know I'm going to be late for work. Yet I keep pausing as I think about you. Not only that, but I have a foreboding feeling wash over me every time I look towards the city from the windows. Like something's going to happen. I don't have much time to think about it though. I need to hurry. I just got started on my dream job of being a photographer. Remember how I used to love taking photos of the tourists? One of the best places in town have taken me in as an apprentice. I've only been there for a few weeks, and have made a lot of mistakes, but it's so much fun.
With a kiss from Nani before I head out, and a good-bye hug from Stitch, I run out of the house. I forget about that odd feeling and instead tackle the odd chill in the air. I don't even notice how quiet the island is. Normally everything is so filled with life, but I can't even hear a single bird chirping in the trees. All I can hear are the rushing cars off in the distance. If I were to stop and wait, I may notice how strange all of these things are, but I don't. I'm late and I need to hurry.
I run to the busy road, stopping at the street corner. Impatiently, I wait for the signal to cross. I don't wear a watch, yet I can feel the seconds ticking by. I see the stick figure and instantly make to step on the road.
Lilo!
I hear my name called out in the distance, making me stop for a brief moment. Right after I stop, I feel a soft hand grab my own. It pulls me back just as a large truck zooms right over the spot I had almost stepped. Some honking can be heard, people getting angry at the person that just ran the red light. None of that matters. All I can see is the spot I once was. The spot I would still be if it wasn't for that voice.
I look at Stitch and know it wasn't him that called out to me. I wouldn't have stopped if it was his voice. No. This voice was one from my past. One I haven't heard in many years. It brings a warm tear to my eye to hear it again. But it couldn't be her. It couldn't have been my mom's voice. I must just be hearing things.
Stitch tells me I had forgotten my lunch. And that it was a good thing too. That if he hadn't been here, I might have been seriously hurt or worse. I know it's true. So much could have happened to me if he wasn't here for me. Something tells me that it wasn't him that saved me this time though. I give him a soft kiss on the nose before he runs back home.
As I watch him run off, completely forgetting that I'm late. I see movement in the corner of my eye. A glimpse. A flicker. A slight movement I used to know so well. One that I haven't seen in years. I slowly turn and see the two of you on the side of a shop. Your inky black forms bring a smile to my face and suddenly the island is filled with life again. Where did you go all these years? Or were you always there and I just didn't notice?
I see now that you never did leave me. Even though I have Stitch now, you're still there for me. If I ever need you I can find you in the shadows. Because even if I can't see you, no matter how much time passes you'll always be with me. You'll never be forgotten. 'Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten. That's what dad always said. And even if Nani doesn't think of you as 'ohana, you are a part of it.
It's funny. For some reason, I feel like you would get along with mom and dad really well.