April 10, 1944
Bella took her chewing gum out of her mouth and pressed it securely behind her ear before walking into The Canteen. The cheery sign over the door welcomed every soldier, sailor, and marine. The USO Canteen was designed to provide enjoyment away from home to lift the spirits of men and women serving their country, but for Bella, it was a shame the place was even needed. She'd prefer if each one of the men she had ever danced with could be home dancing with his real sweetheart, not holding a stand-in.
The whole nation had been called upon to help the cause, and Bella's contribution was becoming a Junior Hostess at the local USO serving the military men of Fort Custer. Though the war was half a world away, everyday it was on the front page of the Kalamazoo newspapers and blaring all day long on her parents' radio – making the war something she lived day in and day out. It made her feel much older than her nineteen years.
"Got your dancing shoes on, Bella?" Rosalie bounced up to her, still reeking of cigarette smoke.
"Rose," Bella hissed, pulling her into the backroom reserved for volunteers only, "you want to lose your Junior Hostess ID card? You've got to stop smoking in the ladies room!"
Bella gestured to the rules displayed plainly on the wall.
Junior Hostesses are NOT allowed to:
-date servicemen met during their tenure as Junior Hostess (grounds for dismissal)
-smoke on the dance floor, in the Canteen or at the front desk
-drink intoxicants
-dance with another female when there are servicemen present
-refuse to dance with anyone unless they are being un-gentlemanly
-indulge in conspicuous dancing
-chew gum
-wear pants
Junior Hostesses WILL
-volunteer a minimum of two hours per week
-be over the age 16
-offer a friendly diversion to the military personnel's home away from home
-complete at least one class included information about the function, program & philosophy of the USO, charm & etiquette, health, cosmetics & clothes, citizenship & loyalty, and how to handle inappropriate behavior from military personnel
-remember we provide a service to the men who serve our country! You are expected to be a lady at all times.
"Look for yourself," Rosalie said, pointing a finger at the rules as well. "It says nothing about smoking in the ladies room."
"It's implied," Bella responded with exasperation. "You know how strict the Senior Hostess is." Bella linked her arm around Rosalie's. "Besides, I need my best friend here."
Rose stepped back to smooth her hairdo and then her pencil skirt. Her hourglass curves made all the other girls look like shapeless tomboys. "They wouldn't ban me. I keep those GIs happy."
Bella shook her head. "No doubt it's that personality of yours."
"Of course."
The two girls lapsed into a fit of giggles just as the Senior Hostess, Mrs. Thompson, burst in.
"Girls!" she called, clapping her hands together to get Bella and Rosalie's silent attention. "We will be opening the dance hall in fifteen minutes. Are you looking your best? Bella, you could use some freshening of your lipstick."
"Yes, ma'am."
She spun on her matronly heels and left. Another round of giggles ensued.
As Fort Custer had become the recruit reception center for all Michigan inductees into the U.S. Army, and the dance hall was teeming with young, eager men in olive drab. With their cropped hair, Bella thought they looked so much alike.
"Hello, boys!" Rosalie sang out over the din of lonely men chatting up girls as she strutted into the room.
Her timing was impeccable, and as if it was their cue, the small band of local musicians began to play. Immediately, men and women began to pair up; however, men outnumbered available female partners, so the unlucky, shy, and unattractive usually were forced to sit out the first round. Despite the rules, the handsome men always got more dances…
"Excuse me."
Bella spun to find a tall, handsome man behind her holding two cups of punch. He looked out on the dance floor and his face fell. "Oh. I was bringing this to that young lady over there." He motioned with one cup-laden hand to Jessica, who was dancing with a GI on the dance floor, her perky blonde ponytail swaying with each step. "It appears she is no longer thirsty."
Bella smiled. The guy looked so disappointed – not to mention young, barely eighteen would be her guess. "I'm thirsty," she offered, to let him off the hook.
He held the cup out to her.
"I'm Bella Swan."
"Pleased to meet you." He held a hand out. "I'm Edward Masen."
"Pleased to meet your acquaintance." Bella took his hand. "First time away from home?"
"Is it that obvious?"
She looked up at Edward Masen. The green of his eyes matched his uniform. He had the expression of so many she had seen before him: not quite ready to be the warrior the army was asking him to be. Proud to serve, but not ready to see first-hand the terrors of war. And certainly not ready to die.
"Would you like to dance, Mr. Masen?"
His face lit up. "I would."
Such a small gesture seemed to make a world of difference to these men. It made her proud to be a Junior Hostess.
To her surprise, Edward was a wonderful dancer. He led her around the dance floor with ease, which was always a nice treat considering Army-issued footwear tended to injure her toes quite severely.
Besides his dancing, Edward excelled at honesty. She wasn't used to that. It seemed the more anxious the men were about their situation, the more they compensated. Bella had grown accustomed to several types of servicemen: the over-confident, the braggart, the tough-guy, and the womanizer. But Edward had the heart of a poet. To be exact, the heart of a musician. He admitted to having a love for playing classical piano and planned to pursue his aspirations to become a music teacher. He also worried endlessly about his mother and sisters in his absence; his father had died two years ago, leaving him to head the family.
Something about Edward touched her deeply, and though it was against the rules – and Bella always followed the rules – she managed to find a way to reserve her dance card for only him that night. When closing time arrived, she even secreted him out the back door of The Canteen to a bench the girls used to sneak a smoke. They sat in the darkness with just the glow of his lit cigarettes.
"One week down, thirteen more to go," Edward commented on his basic training, breaking a moment of silence. "And then we will ship off to where the need is greatest."
Bella knew the men wanted to talk about the war, if only to seek reassurance. Following her training, Bella offered kind words, "They say the war should come to end soon."
He shook his head. "What do you do when you've just started living and you have to face that everything might be over soon?"
She swallowed hard. "You don't know what the future will hold, Edward. Don't count yourself out just yet." Bella squirmed on the bench. He wore his heart on his sleeve and she so much wished she could protect such an exposed, kind heart.
"I've never even had a proper girlfriend, you know."
"There's plenty of time for that." She reached out and took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You'll be back home before you know it."
He looked in her eyes. Deeply. Searching. "Do you believe that?"
Bella felt her bottom lip quiver. So many…so many never returned. Everyone knew someone who had died in this awful world war or came back fragments of who they were before they left. Her eyes began to swim in unshed tears.
"I don't believe it either," he said almost bitterly, squashing his cigarette butt under his boot.
Partly out of discomfort and partly to give Edward some flicker of optimism, Bella scooted closer to him. "What I do believe is I would very much like to dance with you again tomorrow." She leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek.
He smiled. "I would very much like that as well, Miss Swan." He stood, took her hand, and kissed it lightly before walking away.
~~~~*.*~~~~
The next night, Edward was at The Canteen early. He and Bella danced, talked on their bench, and danced some more. The next night they did the same.
The day after that, Bella adjusted her schedule at The Canteen, increasing her hours from two days a week to three.
Unfortunately, it didn't take long before the Senior Hostess to put two and two together. The following week, Bella was confronted.
"Bella, while your time and dedication is admirable, it has come to my attention that you have been saving your dances and attention for one certain serviceman. Need I remind you that we serve all our military men – and dating is against the rules?"
"No, ma'am. And Edwa -– Mr. Masen, the gentleman you are referring to - we are not dating. I only see him when he visits The Canteen. He just seems more lost and concerned about his fate than the others. I thought I would be doing more of a service helping to support him."
Mrs. Thompson eyed her critically, and then sighed heavily. "Bella – just be careful."
Bella hustled out of the Hostess's office as soon as she was dismissed. "Edward and I aren't dating," she muttered to herself, her fists balled up at her sides as she strode quickly away from the matron's office with no particular destination. The familiar feel of tears prickling behind her eyes finally stopped her in her tracks. "We're not dating. We're falling in love."
~~~~*.*~~~~
Each week that passed held a combination of anticipation and dread for both Edward and Bella. They looked forward to the time they could spend together at The Canteen, sneaking out back whenever possible and stealing a kiss or two when no one was around, yet with each passing day, they knew it would all come to a halt all too soon.
As a result, they became more desperate and protective of their time, spending more of it out of the sight of others instead of on the dance floor. On one particularly crowded evening celebrating a US battle victory during week eleven of Edward's training, the young couple found themselves resorting to Bella's father's car to get their "alone time."
In the dark with only the distant streetlamps to light their surroundings, Bella couldn't help but notice the change in Edward's profile. Basic training had bulked up his lean physique, and his jaw had a different set about it. No longer did he talk about his fears. He had become more self-assured. It was like she had watched him grow-up before her eyes. She reached out to run her hand down his arm, feeling the taut muscles underneath. She wanted to be alone with him on the dance floor with those strong arms holding her.
He could see the disappointment in her expression. "What's bothering you?" he asked, desperately wishing they could put aside the ticking clock for just one night.
"I wish we could dance. Be close, but not surrounded by all that commotion," she admitted.
"We can be close." Edward pulled her to his chest, embracing her tightly with both arms.
He smelled like soap and cheap aftershave – just like she liked him.
"I don't want you to go," she blurted, murmuring into his chest. She had tried to be strong, tried not to burden him with her flighty emotions. After all, they both had to be strong for their country. Yet on this night, with him so warm, so close, she couldn't fight her feelings any longer. She feared for him. But mostly she feared she'd never see him again once he left. The thought of it was unbearable.
"Shh." He pressed his lips into her hair, kissing the top of her head and, for a while, he let her sob quietly as he held her.
Eventually, Bella lifted her head from Edward's chest. Her tears had left dark green blotches on his uniform.
"Does this mean I have a 'proper girlfriend'?" he asked innocently. "No woman has ever cried over me."
Bella braved a smile. "Yes."
Edward felt his heart overflow. Bella had been the brightest spot in his whole life. At that moment he would have given anything to see her happy. So he kissed her. It was all he had to offer.
Bella kissed back with a fervor she had never felt before. It was desperation, yes, but something more as well. An awakening. An abandonment of all the rules. A desire to share herself and be closer to the man she had fallen deeply in love with. Her first real love. She felt consumed with need and the desire to give herself over to Edward, to make him happy.
She could feel in the way he kissed her and the tightness with which he held her that he was experiencing something similar. She let her trust in him rule her heart and head. "I love you," she whispered as he moved to kiss her across her jaw and down her neck.
"I love you, Bella Swan. You are the most precious thing in my life right now. The reason I have chosen to do more than just survive these past weeks. I pushed to learn to be the best soldier I can be so I can come home to you."
Their shared confessions fueled their desire. Bella pulled Edward down on top of her as she reclined across the front seat of her father's Plymouth. With a trembling hand, Edward slid his fingers up Bella's leg and just beneath her skirt.
Bella's responding moan encouraged him. He squeezed her thigh, never pausing in his assault of kisses against her lips.
Her fingers found the buttons on his shirt, working deftly, she unfastened them. "Please, I want to feel the warmth of your chest," she pleaded breathlessly.
They both knew they were crossing the line; the point where they wouldn't be able to stop the speeding train…
But it didn't matter tonight because they both also knew this night might not happen again.
Edward quickly shed his shirt. Bella's hands were caressing his well-muscled chest before he even returned to her body. She continued her exploration down to the button on his pants.
"Bella, are you sure? You have to be sure," Edward panted as his hands slipped up her shirt and under her bra.
"Yes, yes. I want to be your proper girlfriend. I want to be everything to you."
Despite the warming weather, the Plymouth's large windows were soon covered in a white fog of Bella and Edward's creation.
As he slipped out of his remaining clothes, Edward pulled something out of his pocket. "Uncle Sam now considers prophylactics a ration for soldiers."
The crooked smile on his sweet face broke the sexual tension; Bella laughed. But the desire in Edward's eyes grew as he locked eyes with hers. As he slid the condom on, Bella slowly unbuttoned her blouse and unhooked her bra to allow Edward access to her.
He lowered himself gently on top of her, groaning when the heat of their bare skin met.
With her skirt bunched up between them, Edward moved his body in unison Bella's. It was a slow dance of inexperienced bodies sharing for the first time. Awkward at times, painful for a moment, and the most intimate, satisfying emotional experience Bella could ever imagine.
He whispered words of love and devotion to her whenever he felt her tense. They clung to each other until Edward cried out her name and let his full weight rest upon her body. She struggled to breathe, but cradled him to her nonetheless.
Soon, it was obvious – he had fallen asleep.
"Edward," Bella squeezed his shoulders. "Edward, wake up." Exhausted and now quite aware of their compromising position, an urgency filled Bella's voice. "We have to get dressed!"
Edward woke with a start. "Oh my God, Bella. I'm so sorry, Beautiful."
Hurriedly, they gathered their clothes and got dressed, fumbling around the front seat. Bella groaned as she looked at her hair and make-up in the rearview mirror.
"You're gorgeous. Glowing," Edward offered as a means to reassure her.
"It's written all over me?" she lamented. "Everyone will be able to tell!"
"It's okay," Edward soothed. "I'll get out and you drive home. We can keep our secret between us."
Bella's breathing calmed. "Okay. Are you sure?"
He gently stroked her cheek. "I'm sure. But I'll dream about this all night, and for all the nights there are to come." He kissed her swollen lips tenderly. "I love you, Bella."
"I love you, too."
With a lingering smile, Edward got out of the car and shut the door.
~~~~*.*~~~~
The next day, Bella woke to concerned, if not disappointed, parents. They commented on her exhaustive work at The Canteen and her change in behavior; she had the car out last night well past their expressed curfew. Red flags had been raised, and as a result, they forbade her to go to The Canteen on her day off.
Bella remained in her room, angry at her parents, but mostly she ached for Edward. She also worried he'd misinterpret her absence. What if he thought she had regrets about last night?
When she arrived the evening of the next night, she was shocked to find the place nearly empty. At the bar, a few men hung their heads over their empty line of shot glasses. The stage held only the band's abandoned instruments.
Bella took off for the volunteer office, finding Rosalie waiting with a cigarette between her fingers.
"Where is everyone, Rose?" Bella could feel the alarms ringing in her head.
Rosalie jumped up immediately and embraced Bella tightly. "I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so, so sorry."
Bella pushed Rosalie away. "Sorry? Sorry for what? Did…did someone find out about me and Edward…the other night? Am I going to lose my card?"
Rose's eyes looked at her with such pity. "I was hoping someone might have told you already."
"Told me about what?" Bella could feel her frustration building as her voice escalated. "What, Rose?"
"The unit had to be cut short on their training. We've had some serious losses and…they couldn't wait for the men to finish completely. They shipped out early yesterday."
Bella sunk into the nearest chair. "Okay." Stunned, she struggled to find words. "I didn't get to say goodbye. But I'll write." She perked up. "I'll write to Edward. Where did the Army send him?"
Rosalie pulled up a chair and sat in front of Bella. She took both of Bella's hands in hers. "There's more."
"More?" Bella's heart began to pound and she could hear the blood pulsing in her ears.
Rose's eyes began to fill with tears. "Their transport plane… It –"
"NO! No." Bella jumped up from the chair, unable to control her panic through one more second of Rose's painfully drawn out tale. "You're wrong! Nothing happened! You've got news on a different plane! He's going to come home!"
It wasn't until the Senior Hostess, drawn by the sound of Bella's shrieks, came into the room that Bella realized she was losing it. The hostess ran up and held Bella tightly. "I'm sorry, dear. I tried to warn you. War is an ugly, ugly thing."
Bella sobbed hard into the woman's shoulder. Rosalie attempted to comfort her as well, rubbing soft circles on her back. Soon Bella's legs became too week to hold her. The world blurred and nothing mattered.
As her tears ran out, Bella was shocked to hear her mother's voice. "Come, child. Let's go home."
In a zombie-like state, Bella let her mother guide her to the car. They drove home in complete silence. She couldn't – or didn't want to – hear her parents' words of consolation. Besides, they couldn't fully understand. They didn't know what she and Edward had shared. Her parents didn't know they were in love.
She spent the rest of the day and night in her room, curled in her bed hearing the words "all lives lost" over and over in her mind. Edward's crooked smile as he exited her car after they made love was still etched in her memory and would be forever, as would the feel of his skin and the smell of him. The worst part was the thought of never being able to say goodbye. Right then, she made a promise to visit Edward's sisters and mother to tell them how much he meant to her. His kindness, his gentleness, his honesty. And to tell them he was brave.
The next morning, Bella awoke to the sound of her stomach grumbling. She hadn't eaten since she heard the news. However, the thought of food only made her feel sick – sicker.
"Bella?" her mother knocked and then opened the door. "Bella, honey, someone is here to see you."
She pulled the covers over her head. "Mother, there is no one I want to see. And no one should see me like this."
Her mother assertively pulled the covers back. "You need to come downstairs. Clean yourself a bit."
The sternness of her mother's voice left no room for discussion. "Yes, Mother."
Bella couldn't imagine who could be downstairs. The family doctor? Rose? Probably the Senior Hostess. She didn't bother to change her clothes, choosing instead to splash cold water on her splotchy, red face and pull a brush through her tangled hair. In no hurry, Bella descended the stairs to foyer.
As the foyer came into view, Bella could make out a pair of long legs – one in a cast – and two crutches. Her heart jumped into her throat.
Afraid to hope, but unable to stop her feet from carrying her faster than her body could manage, Bella found – Edward! Wearing his crooked smile, he stood waiting at the bottom of the stairs! She half-flew and half-tripped right into him, sending his crutches falling to the floor and the two of them crashing into the wall.
"Careful, Bella," he father reprimanded her inappropriate behavior with a slight laugh in his voice.
"It's you? It's really you! Alive!" Bella's tears ran down her cheeks again, but this time, they were of incredible joy instead of loss.
She looked at Edward with wide eyes. Still stunned, she needed reinforcement that he was not just a tantalizing dream, but really, truly here. However, her joy was not reflected in his expression.
"They're all dead, Bella. All of them." Edward began to shake and slowly slide down the wall.
Bella could hear the sound of her mother's sniffling behind her. "God bless their souls," she cried. Her father quietly escorted her mother out of the room.
Alone with Edward, Bella joined him on the floor as he cradled his head in his hands and cried for his fellow soldiers who were shot out of the sky before they could even fight.
"What happened? To you, Edward, what happened?" Bella sought to refocus him.
"In the chaos of shipping out, I was hit by a Jeep. Broken leg. While my unit shipped out, I was in the hospital." His top lip curled into a sneer. "I should have been with them."
"Thank God you weren't, Edward. I need you." He looked up and Bella wiped the wet trails of tears from his cheeks. "I couldn't even breathe when I thought I'd lost you. War takes so much, but today, fate gave you back to me. It's okay to be grateful."
"I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me surviving. Sitting safe and comfortable in a bed when they… I wasn't sure if I should come to you. But I do love you, Bella. Getting to you was all I could think about. I want to be with you forever."
"Forever. I've learned forever is unknown… Let's take it one day at a time."
Edward nodded, pulling her into his arms. Sitting on the floor in an embrace, they rocked gently back and forth. "One precious day at a time," he agreed.
A/N: Thank you to RowanMoon and Wolf Lover42 for your fine story polishing skills. Thank you, Rebadams7 for your inspiring prompts. Honestly, I hadn't intended to write something that would end up being something truly from my heart. Let me explain - My grandfather was a soldier in WW2. He was in the second wave at Normandy and found himself fighting in the trenches near St. Lo, France. He was shot. He survived and was eventually awarded a Purple Heart. But he wasn't the same. My grandmother told stories of his troubled sleep and fears. Of course, back then, they called it 'shell shock' which we have now come to understand as Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. But writing this not only put me emotionally into the fears of young men preparing to be soldiers, but also allowed me, for the first time, to understand what it must have been like for my grandmother, home with a small child, who could only wait for news on her husband's survival or death in a war that took between 50-85 million lives around the world.
I wish I had asked my grandparents about their reunion – it must have been beautiful. I hope I translated some of that in this story, a story of love found, thought lost, then reunited.
At this special time of year for many religions around the world, and as always, let's pray for peace. And my greatest wishes for peace and joy for you, Rebaadams7.