I do not own Glee.
I have tried to use American usage such as sweaters and store, but don't know if it is all right as I am British. Slight Puckleberry in here.
...
I always said I was one day going to be a star but it was a lie, I always acted like I was better than everyone that was also a lie. The thing is I have never told and will never want anybody to know what goes on behind my front door. If people did know I would be killed, and even through pain I would never want to die that way.
Murder, it happen's all the time all around us but we think nothing of it other than 'I'm glad i'm not the one dead'. Although some people don't even think that. Nobody know's why people murder, some say it's thrill others desperation. We all must have thought about it at some point mustn't we? I think murder is despicable, why would anybody get any sort of joy out of watching people slowing losing breath, the beats of their hearts, thoughts. I wouldn't. When a person die's they can't move, think, breath, touch or smell ever again and that's the worst part. I always wondered how I would die would I be murdered like innocent bystanders, or raped like innocent girls. Would I get hit my a car, or accidentally press down to hard when I press the razor into my arm on a particularly bad day.
I suppose you're wondering what I mean by 'razor' and 'press down' well the thing is I cut myself. Why? because although my dads seem warming and kind to outsiders they are evil and nasty. They have hit me since a very young age and have in fact raped me. I haven't told any of the glee kids because my dad's said they would kill me, and of course I had to believe they would.
I have gone through each day wearing animal sweaters and knee socks, grandma shoes and short, short skirts. The sweaters because they never gave me money to buy clothes I like, they had also bought these from a charity store. The knee socks because they said they make me look prissy and uppity, which is probably true but I would never wear them. The shoes because... well they never gave me a reason why they bought me those. Finally the short skirts so they could have easy usage, if you get me. Though overall they said they bought me these so nobody would even look twice at me and so then only them can have me. Disturbing I know.
...
Today I was having probably the worst day of my life, in glee Quinn and Santana kept making remarks at me which made me want to scream at them. Moreover never even told them to stop, just stood there looking bored. I had a slushie thrown at me, along with my lunch tray in my face. Also I had forgotten my homework for math and had received detention and fell asleep in two, (TWO!) of my classes. To top it all when I had gotten home the beating of my life, leaving me disoriented and drowsy. I passed out onto the floor of my bedroom soon after and only woke up the next day as mid-day.
Confused and slightly dizzy I made my way to the shower, slowly washing of my dried blood wincing when I hit a particularly sore spot. After washing it all off I looked through the glass and into the mirror to look at the damage. My face was mostly black and blue, cuts here and there. My eyes where bloodshot from crying through the hit's and my lip was bust. I had a scratch above my eye and a large cut on my nose and cheek. Tear's threatened to escape my eyes I tried to blink them back but they just started coming out, big fat tears leaked from my eyes falling down my face and onto the shower floor. I scratched my eyes trying to stop the tears coming but they didn't stop. I desperately shot my eyes around the shower trying to find something to focus on instead of crying, my eyes finally landed on my razor which was near enough calling out for me to use it. I quickly grabbed the razor and brought it to my wrist, pressing deeper than I ever had before watching dazedly as blood started to leak out. I did the same to the other side and sighed contently waiting for death to take me. I began to go dizzy, before collapsing on the floor breathing slowly. I brought my hands up painfully trying to find my pulse, i was slow and I smiled. Maybe death wouldn't be so bad after all.
My last thought before my breathing gave up was "Noah I love you, forgive me, I'll see you soon." Because as some of you may know I was and still am in love with Noah Eli Puckerman, and I always will be. We'd be together soon and we was, reunited in heaven. The only place where love held no bounds.
...
What did you think Review Please