A/N: This is the third in a series of stories inspired by Dustin Lynch's song, Cowboys and Angels. It takes place during Till Death Do Us Part, Part One.
Buck was a believer in the circle of life. When one thing ended another thing began. The cycle was endless. Most of the time he could see the cycle as neutral, but it seemed that everything good in his life was ending. Buck didn't want to look back at Cody or even over at Noah. He knew his feelings would be echoed in their faces and he just wanted to concentrate on the one happy thing he could think of, Kid and Lou's wedding. He thought if he could distract himself from everything that was changing for the worse, he could find some peace. It was hard. On his last ride he noticed the telegraph poles getting closer and closer to Rock Creek. He saw more and more white settlers pouring into the lands that he used to roam free across when he was a child with his tribe. He saw army recruiters pulling young men from their families for the impending war. He was dwelling on the wrong things.
Buck shifted his attention to the horses. He leaned on the corral fence and lost himself in the graceful movement of the animals. The gentle breathing of the horses, their snorts and whinnies, and the sounds of their hooves colliding with the ground, were all meditative to him. Buck tried to let a sense of calm wash over him. He felt the touch of a velvet nose rub against his hand and looked up to see Lightning, Lou's horse. Buck laughed gently as gave the horse the attention it came for. Lightning was a lot like Lou. He was slow to trust, but when he did he was your pal for life. Just like Lou.
Lou seemed to have a harder trusting him than the other riders. For every step forward there was at least one step back. She once brandished a skillet against the injustice he faced in Tompkins store, but then a day later, more or less accused him of betraying the Express riders to his brother's tribe. It hurt him a lot but it wasn't just Lou who thought the worst. It was everyone except Kid. Everything turned out alright and Lou even saved his life just a little later. Ike was testifying against a murderer named Nickerson and Buck stupidly fell for a rouse and got himself kidnapped for leverage. If Lou hadn't figured out where he was, he would have died that day. He wasn't ashamed to admit he was saved by a girl and that wasn't the only time Lou saved his life either, but it wasn't long after saving him that they fell into conflict again.
Kid had disappeared and a way station was attacked by what looked like Indians. Buck had only meant to comfort Lou, but it hadn't exactly gone as planned. She ended up offending him and he should have cut her some slack, but it hurt to hear her call Indians 'savages' arbitrarily. Buck thought maybe he shouldn't have taken what she said personally because she was worried, but what people say when they aren't thinking is what they really feel. Normally Buck would just write a person off after that, but it was important to both of them that they remain friends. That brought him back full circle. Lou saved his life again. She was right about Kathleen Devlin not being worth it and about him only being hurt. Rance Morgan would have killed him if Lou hadn't got the boys and arrived when they did. The man was set and ready to fill Buck full of holes, but he didn't get the chance. True to Lou's prediction, Kathleen broke his heart. Sometimes, Buck thought it was too bad there was only one, Lou. Yeah, if Buck believed what those nuns at the mission spouted, Lou was like his guardian angel.
Lou was quietly there for him whenever things in his life were going wrong. She was there as a friend when he needed to talk about Camille. What Lou really gave him was hope. Hope that he could find someone to love in this world that would love him back. He didn't have that much luck with women among Indians or whites. Lou didn't care where he came from or who his parents were and that gave him hope. Lightning nudged his hand and Buck smiled. Perhaps there was more than one woman like Lou out there. Maybe there was someone who would see past his color and see his spirit. Lightning snorted and Buck smiled. If he found the wrong girl, Lou could always save him again.
Looking back from where he was in his life now, he's glad he didn't quit the Express back at the beginning like he thought he should. He would have missed out on a true family. A family that lived together, worked together, and fought together. They were one and they were all part of the new beginning that Lou and Kid were making. Buck resolved to focus on the good things to come starting with the wedding tomorrow. He couldn't wait for Lou to be smiling and heading down the aisle. They would all be smiling with her.