A/N: Where did this idea come from? Well, The Avengers is one of my favorite movies of last year, and of all time as well. Then I got to thinking, what if there was more singing? Why would there be more singing? Well, what if it was the Glee Club as The Avengers? And thus, the Gleevengers were born.
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel, Disney, Fox, Glee, or any of these people or ideas. This is for fun. Enjoy.
(In space, we see a floating staircase among the rocks. A tall woman with dirty blonde hair speaks to someone sitting in a chair with their back turned.)
Terri: The Tesseract has awakened. It is on a little world, a human world. One from which we both hail. The humans would wield its power.
(She takes and hands a scepter to two bigger but feminine hands. The scepter has a glowing blue gem near the tip.)
Terri: But our ally knows its workings as they never will. She is ready to lead. And our force...
(The Adrenali put on their face masks and get ready.)
Terri: ...our Adrenali, will follow.
(Terri continues to speak to the figure in the chair.)
Terri: The world will be hers...the universe, yours. And the humans, what can they do, but BURN?
(Earth, at night. A mountain range in the desert. A helicopter speeds over the mountain at high speed. We pan up over the mountain and we see a giant base, covering many square miles. And there is a frantic evacuation in progress.)
Kurt's singing voiceover: I've given up on giving up slowly, I'm blending in so you won't even know me
Apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
Because I know to live you must give your life away
And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because
(Within the base, agents, scientists, and other personnel rush around the base frantically. An intercom states "All personnel, evacuation order has been confirmed. Proceed to your designated vehicles for all campus evacuation." Security guards direct traffic. More agents assist people, some stuff the trunks of their cars and leave the campus. The helicopter continues over the base, which has a sign describing it as the "Joint Dark Energy Mission, Western Division; Project New Direction, NASA Space Radiation Facility; TITANS Accelerator Test Facility." The intercom continues "This is not a drill. Emergency personnel proceed to your designated vehicles for all campus evacuation.")
Oh, I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
Oh, I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape.
(The helicopter hovers over a landing pad. There is a man in a suit waiting, wearing sunglasses, as the helicopter lands. He is Kurt Hummel, agent of TITANS. The door opens and two people come out. First is a shorter woman with red hair, also in a suit. She is agent Emma Pillsbury. Behind her comes a tall man, with curly hair and an eyepatch, wearing a trenchcoat. His name is Will Schuester, the director of TITANS. The two approach the waiting man.)
Will: How bad is it?
Kurt: That's the problem, sir. (He removes the sunglasses.) We don't know.
(They turn and enter the base. They take an elevator down as Kurt describes what happened.)
Kurt: Mercedes read an energy surge from the Tesseract four hours ago.
Will: NASA didn't authorize her to go to test phase.
Kurt: She wasn't testing it. She wasn't even in the room. Spontaneous event.
Emma: (surprised) It just turned itself on?
Will: What are the energy levels now?
Kurt: Climbing. When Mercedes couldn't shut it down, we ordered evac.
Will: How long to get everyone out?
Kurt: Campus should be clear in the next half hour.
Will: Do better.
(Will and Emma continue on as Kurt turns around and heads back to the surface. They head down a staircase as Kurt's song continues.)
I'm giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there
And this life sentence that I'm serving
I admit that I'm every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Emma: Sir, evacuation may be futile.
Will: Well we have to try anyway, Emma.
Emma: If we can't control the Tesseract's energy, we don't know the minimum safe distance. There might not be one.
Will: I know. I need you to make sure the Phase Two prototypes are shipped out.
Emma: (surprised again) Sir, is that really a priority right now?
Will: Until such time as the world ends, we will act as though it intends to spin on. Clear out the tech below. Every piece of Phase Two on a truck and gone.
Emma: Yes, sir. (to approaching guards) With me.
(As Emma leaves with the guards, Will continues on to the Tesseract room. It's a large, cavernous room, with banks of computers hooked up. In the middle, a glowing blue cube sits in a device, pointed toward a staging area nearby. Will makes his way over to a black woman – this is Mercedes Jones, a scientist.)
And I've been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I've been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I've been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there's no way in knowing where to go, promise I'm going because
Will: Talk to me, Doctor.
Mercedes: (seeing him) Director.
Will: Is there anything we know for certain?
Mercedes: The Tesseract is misbehaving.
Will: Is that supposed to be funny?
Mercedes: No, it ain't funny at all. The Tesseract's not only active, she's…behaving.
Will: How soon can you pull the plug?
Mercedes: She's an energy source. We turn off the power, she just turns it back on. If she reaches peak level -
Will: (cutting her off) We prepared for this, Doctor. Harnessing energy from space.
Mercedes: We don't have the harness, sir. My calculations are far from complete. She's throwing off interference, radiation. Nothing harmful, low levels of Gamma radiation.
Will: (with significance) That can be harmful…Where's Agent Lopez?
Mercedes: (scoffing) Santana? (gesturing up and behind her) Up in her nest, as usual.
Oh, I gotta get outta here
I'm stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
Oh, I gotta get outta here
And I'm begging you, I'm begging you, I'm begging you to be my escape.
(Up on a balcony, a tall, Latina woman in a combat outfit is observing the lab. This is Santana Lopez, another agent.)
Will: (over Lopez's radio) Santana. Report.
(She gets up and zip-lines down a rope.)
Will: I gave you this detail so you could keep a close eye on things. (He walks with Santana back toward the Tesseract.)
Santana: (under her breath) Lousy detail.
Will: Sorry?
Santana: (covering) I SEE…uh, better from a distance.
Will: Well have you seen anything that might set this thing off?
I fought you for so long
I should have let you in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were you
So were you
(As Kurt's song ends, another African-American female scientist interrupts them.)
Jane: Doctor! It's spiking again.
(Mercedes heads over as Will and Santana step onto the platform, in front of the Tesseract machine, looking at it.)
Santana: No one's come or gone. Mercedes is clean. No contacts, no IM's. I think if there's any tampering, sir, it wasn't this end.
Will: (a little confused) At this end?
Santana: Yeah. The cube is some kind of…doorway into space, right? Well, doors open from both sides. (as an afterthought) Duh.
(The cube sparks.)
Mercedes: What's that?
(It sparks again. Outside, Kurt is standing next to a truck when the ground shakes. Kurt grabs the truck for support. Inside, in the garage, Emma turns and looks around her, hearing a creaking noise as the building shakes.
Back inside the Tesseract room, the cube sparks some more, bigger each time. Suddenly, a beam of energy shoots out of it, stopping at the staging area nearby. After several seconds, there is an explosion of energy. Some of the blue energy gathers near the roof and stays there, crackling.
Back on the platform, everyone realizes there is a person kneeling there. The person slowly stands to reveal a larger woman, holding a scepter with a blue glow near the tip. This is Lauren, the goddess of mischief from Asgard. Several guards move in slowly, guns drawn.
Lauren, who had been looking down, slowly looks up, grinning menacingly. She looks around at the approaching guards. Mercedes is looking on in awe and horror. Will and Santana are ready to act.)
Will: Ma'am, please put down the spear!
Lauren's song: I don't feel as if I know you
You take up all my time
The days are long and the nights will throw you away
'Cause the sun don't shine
Nobody ever mentions the weather
Can make or break your day
Nobody ever seems to remember
That life is a game we play
We live in the shadows and we had the chance and threw it away
(While singing, Lauren looks down at the scepter, then back up. She then quickly thrusts it forward, firing a bolt of blue energy at them. Santana pushes Will out of the way as some computers explode. The guards and Santana then open fire. Lauren jumps at the guards, spearing one as bullets hit off her. She spins and throws some small daggers at the rest of the guards. Lauren fires more energy at the scientists, making Santana dive out of the way. She looks around, almost surprised that it's over that fast.)
And it's never gonna be the same
'Cause the years are falling by like the rain
And it's never gonna be the same
Till the life I knew comes to my house and says
Hello
(Santana staggers to her feet. Lauren leaps over to her. Santana tries to draw her gun, but Lauren blocks it and holds her arm.)
Lauren: You have heart, my dear.
(She touches the tip of the spear to Santana's chest and energy seems to enter her body. Her eyes become ice blue. She takes her arm back from Lauren…and puts her gun away. Lauren moves to another agent and does the same as she's done to Santana.)
There ain't no sense in feeling lonely
I've got no faith in you
But I've got a feeling you still owe me
So wipe the **** from your shoes
Nobody ever mentions whoever
Can make or break your day
Nobody ever seems to remember
That life is a game we play
We live in the shadows and we had the chance and threw it away
(Will, seeing this, pulls the cube from the machine it was in and shuts it in a briefcase. He then gets up to leave.)
Lauren: (to Will, turning around) Please don't. I still need that.
Will: (turning around as well) This doesn't have to get any messier.
Lauren: Of course it does. I've come too far for anything else. I am Lauren, of Asgard. And I am burdened with glorious purpose.
(Mercedes, who had been checking the pulse of another scientist, hears this and approaches.)
Mercedes: Lauren, the sister of Quinn?
Will: (as Lauren sneers in contempt at her sister's name) We have no quarrel with your people.
Lauren: And an ant has no quarrel with a boot.
Will: (getting serious) Are you planning to step on us?
Lauren: I come with glad tidings, of a world made free.
Will: Free from what?
Lauren: Freedom. Freedom is life's great lie. Once you accept that, in your heart-
(She turns and places the spear tip on Mercedes's chest. The blue energy flows into her.)
Lauren: -you will know peace.
And it's never gonna be the same
'cause the years are falling by like the rain
And it's never gonna be the same
Till the life I knew comes to my house and says
Hello
(The energy cloud brews darker. Santana notices, stepping towards Lauren as her song finishes.)
Will: Yeah, you say peace. I kinda think you mean the other thing.
Santana: (to Lauren) Ma'am, Director Schuester is stalling. This place is about to blow and drop a hundred feet of rock on us. (looking at Will) He means to bury us.
Will: Like the pharaohs of old.
Mercedes: (looking at a computer) She's right. The portal is collapsing in on itself. We've got maybe two minutes before this goes critical.
Lauren: (with a slight nod) Well then.
(Santana quickly draws her gun and shoots Will, who drops the briefcase. Everyone else makes to leave, Santana picking up the briefcase as she, Lauren, Mercedes, Jane, and others agent leave the room.
They all enter the garage, Santana handing the briefcase to Mercedes. Emma comes over to meet them.
Santana: We need these vehicles.
Emma: (seeing Lauren) Who's that?
Santana: She didn't tell me.
(The roof above is slowly crumbling. Lauren gets onto a pickup truck. Mercedes enters the passenger seat, holding the case.)
Will: (over Emma's radio) Emma!
(In the Tesseract room, Will slowly sits up, taking the bullet out of a Kevlar vest. He speaks into his radio.)
Will: (into his radio) Do you copy?...Santana…has turned.
(Back in the garage, Santana hears and draws her gun, spinning around. Emma dives behind a stack of boxes as Santana opens fire. She backs toward the car, firing her gun, and gets in. Emma peeks out and returns fire as Santana drives them away.)
Santana's singing voiceover: In the day, we sweat it out in the streets of a runaway American dream
At night, we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines
Sprung from cages out on highway 9,
Chrome wheeled, fuel injected, and steppin' out over the line
Baby, this town rips the bones from your back
It's a death trap, it's a suicide rap
We gotta get out while we're young
'Cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run
(In the Tesseract room, Will staggers to his feet and rushes out as fast as he can. The energy cloud gets bigger and bigger above him. The lab is starting to fall apart.)
Will: (into radio) Get the Tesseract. Shut them down.
(In the garage, Emma throws her radio into the front seat of a Jeep. She jumps in after and speeds away, trying to catch up with Santana.)
Emma: Wendy, let me in, I wanna be your friend
I wanna guard your dreams and visions
Just wrap your legs round these velvet rims
And strap your hands across my engines
Together we could break this trap
We'll run till we drop, baby we'll never go back
Will you walk with me out on the wire
'Cause baby I'm just a scared and lonely rider
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if love is wild, girl, I want to know if love is real
(In the underground tunnel, many agents are chasing Santana's pickup. Lauren fires a bolt of energy from the spear, flipping a car over on its head - blocking the pursuing vehicles and fleeing cars.
In the Tesseract room, the portal begins to collapse as Will tries to escape. Falling debris misses him by a few inches.
In front of the building, Kurt is assisting evacuation, supervising guards as they wheel crates. An explosion rocks the building. They all fall as the roof dissolves faster.)
Kurt: Let's just go. (The four guards try to pick up the case.) No-no-no! Leave it, leave it. Go!
(Back in the tunnel, Santana speeds up because she's coming up on an intersection. Emma comes speeding out of a side tunnel read ahead of them. She grabs the emergency brake, spinning the Jeep around - coming face to face with Santana, who shoots through her window. Emma ducks and returns fire, firing through the windshield.)
Santana: Beyond the palace, hemi-powered drones scream down the boulevard
The girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors and the boys try to look so hard
The amusement park rises bold and stark, kids are huddled on the beach in a mist
I wanna die with you wendy on the streets tonight in an everlasting kiss
Hunh!
(Up top, Kurt and the guards climb into the canopy of a truck.)
Kurt: (into radio) We're clear upstairs, sir...
(At the helicopter landing pad, Will runs to the waiting chopper.)
Kurt: (over Will's radio) ...we need to go.
(Will gets into the last helicopter, which takes off as the ground beneath begins to crack.
In the tunnel, Santana fires at Emma one more time. She fires back, and finally Santana shrugs the Jeep off and swings in front of Emma. The TITANS agent turns her Jeep around and continues to speed after them.
In the Tesseract room, the energy cloud explodes. Up above, the ground falls in on itself.
In Will's helicopter, he watches in horror. The entire base slowly collapses in on itself.
In the tunnel, the ceiling of the tunnel falls, trapping Emma and other agents underground. Lauren looks at the exit to see if they will make it out.
In the truck, Kurt and the others stare at the ground behind their truck - the ground is still collapsing, seconds behind their vehicle. But they get away in time. All of the expansive base...is gone.
Off in the desert, Lauren and the others escape the tunnel seconds before the exit is covered up by the fallen ceiling. As they drive along, Will's chopper chases them.)
Will: The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive
Everybody's out on the run tonight but there's no place left to hide
Together, Wendy, we will live with the sadness
I'll love you with all the madness in my soul
Someday, girl, I don't know when, we're gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go and we'll walk in the sun
But till then, tramps like us, baby we were born to run
(Santana drives frantically as Will shoots at them from the sky. Lauren blasts the helicopter with energy and it falls from the sky. Will jumps to the ground right before it crashes, the rotor chewing up the ground. Will rolls to his feet and continues to fire as the truck drives off in the distance.)
Kurt: (over Will's radio) Director.
(We cut back to the truck to see Kurt looking worried.)
Kurt: (into radio) Director Schuester, do you copy?
(Back with Will, he picks up his radio, looking serious.)
Will: (into radio) The Tesseract is with a hostile force. I have men down. Emma?
(Back in the tunnel, Emma gets out of her crushed vehicle.)
Emma: (into radio) A lot of men still under. Don't know how many survivors.
Will: (over Emma's radio) Sound a general call. I want every living soul not working rescue looking for that briefcase.
Emma: (into radio) Roger that.
(We go back to Kurt in the truck.)
Will: (over radio) Kurt, get back to base. This is a level seven. As of right now...we are at war.
Kurt: (after a frightened pause, into his radio) What do we do?
(Back with Will, he puts his radio down. He thinks to himself.)
Will: We assemble.
(TITLE CARD: THE GLEEVENGERS)
A/N: Yes, I added the last line. Why? Because NOBODY said it for the entire movie! #nerdrage
TITANS stands for Tactical Intervention for Threat Awareness, National Section, for those curious :)
Gleevengers Playlist:
Be My Escape by Relient K, sung by Kurt
Hello by Oasis, sung by Lauren
Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen, sung by Santana, Emma, and Will
So we have a few line tweaks in order to make this fit the personalities a bit more. (Example: Santana being a bit bitter about her assignment from Will.) Let me know what you think!