When the Executor is attacked by the rebels Vader ends up escaping in a shuttle with three stormtroopers. In a freak accident the shuttle is pulled through a wormhole and the four find themselves in uncharted space. What follows are
THE FANTASTIC ADVENTURES OF VADER AND THE FEARLESS THREE!
AN:
This is what happens when you play with your SW figures for too long. Poor Vader, all alone with a group of hyperactive stormies... I'm planning to release a side thing to this, BTW, "The Photographic Adventures of Vader and the Fearless Three" which will be a bunch of captioned photo-frames forming a photo-comic.
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THE FANTASTIC ADVENTURES OF VADER AND THE FEARLESS THREE
CHAPTER ONE
Vader refused to acknowledge his companions, indulging in what in a lesser being probably would have been called a sulk. He absolutely refused to believe it. He was not stuck in the middle of nowhere with a group of stormtroopers for company.
"I call a Commander."
"Why, you piece of bantha -!"
A group of noisy, sabaac-playing stormtroopers. Honestly, what had ever done to piss off Fate and land him in this situation?
Gee, I think that killing the Jedi, helping Palpatine and not bringing balance to the Force are on the list in there somewhere, a treacherous little voice said dryly. Vader told it to shut up.
But then, it is a pretty long list.
Great. Now even his inner voices were refusing to listen to him any more.
Vader suddenly became aware of the fact that a stormtrooper was three inches from his mask, staring at the lenses.
"He hasn't responded or anything," the stormtrooper announced, still staring.
"Maybe he's gone into shock," a second stormtrooper suggested.
"Or maybe he's sleeping," chipped in the third. "I mean, with that mask, who can tell? Actually, it's got to be pretty useful in meetings. Unless he snores."
"Or maybe the Emperor was controlling him through radio waves, and now we're out of reach he's just been left a lifeless husk," said the first one.
Vader glared. Unfortunately, as had been observed by stormtrooper number two, no one could tell.
"Dude, he's already a lifeless husk."
That was it. Vader's helmet snapped round at him, and the next moment stormie number three was suspended in midair, dangling from the invisible grip on his throat.
Stormies one and two stepped back hastily and maintained a respectful distance.
Peculiar rasping, gargling kinds of noises came from the third stormtrooper. After a moment Vader released him – he only had three men, after all, even if they had decided that the need for respect was lessened due to the absence of the Empire in their lives – and stormie number three dropped to the floor.
"Ouch," the first stormtrooper noted with detached sympathy. A moan came from he heap of armour that was stormie number three. He slowly sat up and adjusted his helmet.
"I advise greater circumspection in future, trooper," Vader told him. A raspy sound of agreement came from the man. Vader turned back to staring out the plexiglass, letting the stormtroopers go back to whatever it was that they had been doing.
The three troopers continued to stare at him, even the one on the floor.
"Are you alright, sir?" asked one.
Great. They can't be respectful, oh no, but they can be concerned about me. Just great. Impertinent, motherly stormtroopers. Wonderful.
"I am fine!" Vader barked, although it boomed far more menacingly from his vocoder. The nearest stormie shuffled back slightly, but they didn't give up.
"Are you sure, sir?"
Vader sent him a look, and the man nodded, following this up with a salute. It had the look of a habitual response.
"Very well, sir."
&&&&&&&&
The three stormtroopers were all rather pleased to be away from the Empire. To be sure, they all enjoyed their jobs, although they could be somewhat difficult at times, not to mention dangerous, but that was what made things interesting. But here they were, free to explore the universe, their only duty protecting Lord Vader. He was an alright sort, Vader. Sure, he tended to go through officers rather quickly – so many of them were rather stupid, after all – but he wasn't one to just sit in a ship while his men did all the work. He never blamed the troopers for the mistakes of the officers, either, and very rarely killed any of them. He gave them orders, they followed those orders, it was all very nice, positive little relationship. So the stormtroopers rather liked him.
It had been Bob who'd noticed the way that Lord Vader had withdrawn. (Bob's real title was TK 12-345, but since they weren't in the Empire anymore they'd all chosen names, specifically Christian, George, and Bob.) They'd been in the middle of a rousing game of sabaac when Bob had suddenly spoken out of turn with a "hey, what's wrong with Lord Vader?"
He was simply sitting by the window, staring out.
"Lord Vader?" Christian had tried.
He hadn't replied.
"Sir?"
He remained motionless. Bob went right up and stared at him. It was in the little conversation that followed that George had made his dangerous remark and ended up finding out what it's like to levitate. Afterward the conversation about Vader's wellbeing the stormies moved to the other side of the room to discuss it among themselves.
"He's taking it hard, I think," George croaked.
"You were stupid, George," Bob told him. "I'm surprised he didn't throttle you to death. But yeah, he seems to be taking it badly."
"He is one of the most important people in the Empire," Christian pointed out. "Losing that's gotta be kinda upsetting."
"Plus, I heard he had a son," Bob said in a loud whisper, glancing sideways at their topic of discussion, reassuring himself that Vader wasn't listening.
The reaction from the other two was immediate.
"A son? He has a son?" George exclaimed. The other two made frantic shushing noises, but too late. A black figure loomed over them, accompanied by the hiss and whoosh of a respirator.
"May I enquire who has a son, trooper?" Vader asked in that smooth, deep voice.
"Uh – uh – uh -"
Vader leaned closer.
"He means you, sir," Bob supplied helpfully, moving backwards, leaving George to fend for himself. Christian backed away in opposite directions to both his buddies.
"I see."
Ominous silence.
"So do you, sir?" asked Bob. The helmet turned to regard him, and all three held their breath, bob sweating profusely at his own daring.
"Yes."
Phew. But wait -
"You do, sir?" All three were amazed.
"Yes," Vader allowed. "I have a son. He is a pilot within the Rebel Alliance. I would prefer it, troopers, if you would refrain from discussing my personal life."
He stalked out of the room, leaving the three men to discuss this amazing development.