Disclaimer: I don't own Batman or anything. So hah, you can't sue me.

"I don't wanna kill you! What would I do without you? Go back to ripping off mob dealers? No, no. No! You...you complete me."

Batman just looked at him. What was he supposed to say to that? "You're garbage."

"You think I haven't been told that every day of my life?" he laughed. Then seriously: "Because if you do, you're wrong."

Batman growled deep in his throat.

"Oooh, scary." the Joker laughed again. "Come on, lighten up! So. Do you wanna know why I" he framed these words in air quotes "Want to kill you?"

"Yes."

"All I really want is to see your face. I want to know who you are under there. Under all that...spandex. I just wanna see your pretty, unscarred face." He reached up to Batman's face ,gloved fingers against his jawline. "You have no idea how lucky-"

A black fist collided with a pasty white chin, some makeup coming off on Batman's glove.

"Hey." Joker said, rubbing his chin. Batman took a chair and shoved it under the knob of the door. "Hands to myself, I get it. No need to hit me, jeez."

"Where are they?" Batman demanded.

"Where are who?"

"You know who!" he bellowed, thrusting a knee into the Joker's stomach, sending him to the floor.

"You wanna know how I got these scars?"

"No! I want to know where Rachel is!"

"Doesn't everyone? It's a very interesting story. See one night five, maybe ten years ago, I was walking home with my...significant other at the time. Holding hands. Oh, he had nice hands. Anyway, these guys, these thugs came out of nowhere and stood in front of us, blocking our way."

"I don't care!" another punch, another laugh.

"Sh, sh, sh. This is the best part! So one of them punches Jacob in the face. He got scared and ran. He could run fast. Said he was gonna get help, but the guy ran after him. Never saw him again. I sure know how to pick 'em." Batman stopped triyng to interject, realizing he wasn't going to get anywhere until the story was finished. "So. There were maybe four guys left. One of them, their front man apparently, takes out a knife. He goes 'There's no room here for faggots like you.' That hurt. One of his lackies grabs me around my middle. And he gets in my face again. 'Does that make you happy? Sleeping with boys? That's disgusting. You're a disgrace.' I remember I was crying, I don't even know why. So he says 'Stop crying, gay boy. I'll make you smile.' He put the knife in my mouth and did this to me. He would've done more, but do you know what happened? You. You came and saved me. But you didn't save Jacob. I hated you for that. And yet. I loved you. I love you."

That was unexpected. Batman thought.

"Whatsa matter? Disgusted like everyone else?" Joker pulled Batman down to the floor with him, his hand again straying to his unblemished cheeks. "So soft..."

"No. No, I'm not." Batman couldn't believe the words falling from his lips. "I never realized that was you..I'd forgotten..."

"Forgotten about the queer in the alley way? Of course. You have much bigger problems."

"I'm sorry they did that to you."

Joker mumbled something Batman couldn't understand. His lips were lightly trailing along his cheekbones, below the mask, on his exposed face. And Batman didn't stop him. His lips were coarse, rough. He moved so his lips were against Batman's. His kisses were sloppy, and crude. Batman answered, shyly. His mouth tasted like blood, cold and metallic. He burried his hands in the Joker's dirty, knotted hair. This felt so, so wrong. Terribly wrong. But perfect. Nothing had ever felt more right in his life. Joker pulled back.

"Oh. You're scared. You're perfect." The Joker whispered, unfastening his belt as Batman untied his cape. Joker reached out and pulled Batman's tights down around his knees and roughly pushed him face down to the floor. His hands curled possesively around his hipbones. He leaned forward, kissing Batman's neck as he stradled him.

Batman wanted to scream, but it came out in a moan. He had never felt such pain before, coupled with such pure unaldulterated pleasure. Batman could hear the door being shaken, but not opened because of the chair he had placed under the door. The Joker laughed. "You are perfect. Just like it should be. You complete me." He whispered, carressing Batman's back. A few more minutes of this, then the Joker eased himself off of Batman's back, turning the other man over. "They're trying to get in."

Batman pressed his lips against Joker's again. "Don't care." he mumbled. Joker kissed Batman's neck again, more feircely this time. His hands strayed to the fastening of the mask that the other man still wore. So close to finally seeing who this man was, his fingers shook with anticipation. He couldn't unfasten it fast enough, Batman felt his hands there. He threw the Joker across the room, snapping back into the reality of the situation. Joker was fastening his pants.

"I suggest you do the same." he said, gesturing. Batman growled and did as he was told.

"You monster."

"Me? Hah! You were fine with it, until I almost took off that damn mask!"

Pounding on the door again, they were yelling Batman's name. "Tell me where they are."

The Joker spit out two adresses as Batman snatched his cape up and removed the chair from under the door. Gordon just looked at him. He had smudges of red, white, and black makeup all over his face, neck, and costume. Three cops rushed into the room and restrained the Joker.

"I'm going to get Rachel." He ground out. Gordon nodded and instructed his men to go to the other adress. Batman was running out of the building, when he heard the Joker call after him.

"They all saw it, you know! They saw it! You and me, Batty! Having sex on the cold, dirty floor of the interrigation room! They all saw it! And they'll never forget it! They'll never look at you the same ever again!" his voice faded into a fit of insane laughter as Batman fled into the streets, knowing his words were the truth.

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