Little Bill fic
Little Bill fic. Takes place before episode 6ish. Well, before the nookie :P. Some delving into his past and family!!
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Then:
He clung to the shadows, moving closer to his home-no, the house. He was stealthy, he could move so silently, he'd learned much in his year since his turn. Among those things, he'd learned that what he was doing now was unequivocally wrong. His life was over, he was to have already moved on. But he was always drawn back to this place.
Of course he would, though. It was his home, whether he resided there or not. His family built this house. His family lived there. It's why he could not be there. The thoughts both tortured him and consoled him. Tortured that he could not be with them, though knowing they would be safe there, in a place where he couldn't hurt them, and wouldn't have to see them age and wither while he remained the same. It was why he was told he had to stay away.
Just once, he reasoned. He could check in the once. Reaching the side of the porch, he pulled himself up onto the railing, then managed to shimmy on top of the porch roof itself. If memory served, and his wife hadn't changed things, this would be his children's room. He gazed in, taking in a sharp breath at the site of them. He'd told himself he'd only look, but being there now, it just wasn't enough. Testing the window, he found it unlocked and pushed it open, climbing silently in.
First he stood over his daughter, his little angel. She'd grown so much since before he'd left for the war, the last time he'd truly spent any time with her. He wondered if she remembered him at all? She'd been so young, barely three at the time he'd left. He knelt beside her, pushing her dark hair back. Beautiful as her mother.
Behind him, he turned to look in on his son. He was sure the boy had no recollection of him, he'd been no more than an infant when he'd left them. Did his wife tell him of his father? That he was a hero? Did she even have an inkling of the truth of the matter? He smiled as he pulled the blanket up over his son, marveling at his blonde hair. Who had he gotten that from?
A little grunt stilled him, and he turned again to his daughter. Her eyes were opened a slit, and she focused on his immediately. She blinked a few times before she seemed to understand what she was seeing. "Daddy?"
He paused, unsure what to say, before moving to her side. "You're havin' a dream, little Angel," he told her. "Your Daddy's watchin' over you, up in heaven."
She sighed a bit, blinking her eyes again in half sleep. "He is?"
"Sure is," He told her. "Loves you and your brother and Mama. You tell everyone that, ok little Angel? That Daddy's in heaven."
She yawned and nodded, as he pulled her blanket up as well. "Ok Daddy."
He turned toward the window, trying his best to keep his composure. "And tell your Mama to keep these windows locked." He looked back again, but she'd already drifted off to sleep. Best be on his way.
Now:
Bill placed the picture back on his mantel, wiping the bloody tear away. It was the last time he'd seen his family. He'd never been back to the house, until the day he reinherited it after old Jesse's death.
He ran his fingers over the photograph again, wishing he could have been there for every detail of his children's lives, and wondering if back then, he had made the right decision. Was the decision to stay away from them worth the agony of not having been with them? Of not knowing?
Sighing, he backed up. Dawn was coming. It was time for him to get some rest. Taking one last look at the picture, he walked out of the room. No matter what the future may hold, it'd never make up for the life he'd lost.