Even after Marlene had announced Dorcas to be the queen bee of Gryffindor, she was always quite odd. Not that she minded- she believed that being odd was the most amazing thing one could be. But Dorcas Meadowes was always weird. She wore mismatching socks, for one- normally, that'd be perfectly normal, if not for the fact that they were flashing with bulbs that her mother had put in herself. For another, she was in love with Sirius Black.
It wasn't as if girls didn't come up every day to Sirius and slyly sneak him a "come hither" look that made Dorcas want to barf. But Marlene was currently dating the dark-haired beauty, and surprisingly, it looked as if it'd stay that way for a long time.
Another thing that made the whole thing even more awkward- if that was possible- was that Sirius and her were friends for a pretty long time. They teased each other mercilessly, and had inside jokes that even the Mauraders weren't clued in on. Which was surprising, considering that the whole lot of them were best friends ever since the first day of first year.
Sighing heavily, Dorcas tugged nervously on her freckled fingers and stared out the window of the compartment. She was thinking about it too much. It was just a silly crush, but somehow, it felt… real? Dorcas sighed again. She was a confusing human being. It was only natural that she'd have confusing thoughts.
"Hey, Dork-Arse," Marlene McKinnon said brightly, and Dorcas looked up at her friend before screaming in fake-delight. Not that she wasn't happy to see her best friend. But she thought that if she was going to play the weird-girl-who's-friend-is-totally-more-immature-and-into-boys card, then she might as well do it right.
"Merlin, Marlene! I haven't seen you all summer!" She cried, throwing her arms onto the blonde's neck. Marlene laughed and wrapped her arms around Dorcas's waist.
"Did you accidentally shrink yourself over summer, Dor? Or is it just that I'm a total giant?" And yeah, it was pretty hilarious that Marlene was as tall and slender as a ballerina, while Dorcas was just as small as one of the Seven Dwarves. She was slender, yeah, but it didn't help her "Fat is Beautiful" motto.
"No offense, Mar, but you're taller than a giant."
"And she's better-looking than one, too," A deep, low, dead-sexy voice said, and once more, Dorcas snapped her head up to find another gorgeous beauty staring down at her. Sirius Black was probably one of the most beautiful people she'd ever met, with his dark, thick hair and his smoldering eyes. But maybe that was just her hormones talking. Maybe-
And then Marlene stood up, and brought her boyfriend down on her seat, locking her lips with his in a steamy make-out session, making Dorcas try hard not to gag. Three more people came flooding inside the tiny compartment, and Dorcas suddenly found herself sitting on the lap of Remus Lupin.
Blood rushed to his face almost comically as she grasped at his neck to keep from falling over as they passed over a large bump.
"I'm so sorry, Dorcas, I-"
"Hey," she replied, in as much as a casual voice as she could muster, "I sit on guy's laps as much as I can. It's a bit of a relief, really. Truth be told, your lap is much more comfortable than the seat."
"Oi," James Potter called out, disgusted. "Get a room, lovebirds!"
"This is a room," Dorcas pointed out, rolling her hazel eyes at the shaggy-haired Potter sitting in front of her. "And anyway, as much as I love smelling Remus's breath, I think I'm going to skip the snogging and just sleep on his lap. Because, honestly, I'm as tired as shit right now."
"Can shit be tired?" Peter wondered aloud. James sighed really loudly, in a way you might sigh at your disgustingly-stupid-little-brother.
"As much as I'd like it to be, I'm afraid shit isn't sentient, and it can't be tired, because only living things- aside from plants- can be tired, Peter." He spoke slowly and carefully. Dorcas suppressed a mean smile and put her legs on Peter's lap, stretching herself out onto the three friends so that she could sleep.
And, watching her best friend and crush snogging, she fell asleep to the sound of moans only lip-locking teenagers could produce.
…
The Feast in the Great Hall would've been amazing, except for:
1) Marlene and Sirius hadn't stopped snogging ever since Dorcas fell asleep
2) She was a shitty person who wanted her best friend's boyfriend like some sort of cliché asshole
3) Cliché assholes, it seemed, didn't get enough sleep, and besides the envy she held for Marlene, she was feeling pretty shitty
So while the food was perfect, while Dumbledore was as wacky as ever, Dorcas felt herself pushing her plate away in disgust.
"You trying to starve yourself, Dorc?" James asked, eyeing her plate with hungry eyes. Dorcas glared at him.
"Do I look like I want to be one of those Barbie dolls?" She asked, jerking her head at the girls over at the Slytherin table, who pretty much looked like skeletons.
"Barbie dolls?"
"They're plastic you can do obscene things with." Dorcas replied. Marlene laughed, and threw an arm around Dorcas's neck.
"I remember one time, when we were little, I dared you to put your Ken doll in-"
Despite herself, Dorcas laughed.
"Shut up, Mar." She grinned, showing a tiny gap in between her two front teeth Sirius always used to tease her about when they were kids. She actually remembered the time he threw a rock at her mouth and it chipped a tooth.
"I want to hear how you molested that poor plastic, do go on," Sirius said, clasping his hands together. Dorcas shoved him away, a goofy smile playing on her lips, her heart beating crazily in her chest as she felt the muscle in his arms, all tense and amazing.
"Like you don't stick your wand in your-"
"Okay, okay!" James shouted, covering his ears. "We're eating!"
Rolling her eyes dramatically, Dorcas grabbed a drumstick off the chicken platter nearby and chewed on it thoughtfully.
"You seriously don't know what a Barbie doll is, though?" She asked, wiggling her eyebrows at James. He made a face.
"Well, now I know what you do to them. Not all of us are half-bloods like you. Some are more superior- purebloods are the only type of wizard that should be admitted at Hogwarts!" He said in a high-pitched, nasal voice, mimicking Sirius's mother. They all laughed.
"She's more racist than anyone I know. Remember that time when my dad dropped me off at your place for the sleepover, and your mum started screaming when she saw the van?" Dorcas asked.
"And your dad said that he didn't know she hated Hondas so much," Sirius grinned at her, and Dorcas suddenly felt herself looking at his lips, because if there was a good time to kiss him, it'd have been right then- in front of everyone, right there in the Great Hall.
But then Marlene threw her head back, letting the candlelight illuminate her hair in a way Dorcas's dark pixie cut could never do, and kissed Sirius on the mouth, making little slurpy sounds that made Dorcas want to punch something, and she went back to chewing on her chicken bone.
Hey, people! I hoped you liked it, because honestly I tried as hard as I can not to make it cliché. There's a bunch of Marlene McKinnon/Sirius fanfictions out there, and I thought, why not Dorcas?
Anyway.
PLEASE review, and with that-
Love, hugs, and all that jazz,
The Word Writer