An AVALANCHE Christmas Author's Note: I'm so sorry if I'm a bit biased, but please don't flame me ... enjoy. In Junon (new bar by Tifa) (All merrily brings out boxes of Christmas decors) TIFA: singing We wish you a merry christmas ... CLOUD: What do we do now? (puts down the last box) AERIS: Let's put up the Christmas Tree! RED: The ghost of Christmas present ... AERIS: No, silly! I'm not a ghost but a spirit who was set free for a day from the Lifestream. EVERYONE: Oooooooh! CLOUD: All right! All right! Stop that you guys! I need help- YUFFIE: Lemme help! Lemme help! CLOUD: Aeris can you help me? AERIS: I can't ... that's too tedious for my manicure. It's gonna get ruined. Besides, spirits can't carry boxes and stuff. YUFFIE: Lemme help! Lemme help! CLOUD: Tifa? TIFA: My hair will get ruined ... besides, the bar isn't closed yet ... in a while. YUFFIE: Lemme help! Lemme help! CLOUD: Cid? CID: I might burn it down, I still have my cigar ... huff puff YUFFIE: GAWD! I SAID I WANNA HELP WITH THAT @#!$ TREE!!!! NOW CAN I HELP!?!?!?!? Dammit! CLOUD: Uh ... sure. (both puts up the tree ...) BARETT: (in a high-pitched scream) AAAAAH!!! EVERYONE: What's wrong?! BARETT: I hurt my finger!!!! I have a boo boo!! EVERYONE: Awwwe! CLOUD: Call the ambulance! Dial 911 ... what's the number for 911 again? CID: *blink blink* @#$% you! How stupid can you get?! (Dials 911) Afer a few minutes ... BARETT: So? Is it coming? CID: Ya ... in a few minutes. After a few more minutes... DING DONG! VINCENT: (opens the door) Barett ... doctor! BARRET: (runs to the door) Carry me to the AMBULANCE!!!!! DOCTOR: errr ... (carries ... more like drags the crying Barett to the ambualnce) Ambulance leaves TIFA: Can I add the Christmas Lights and Decors? AERIS: I'll help ... errr ... watch. CLOUD: (goes to Marlene) Can ya give me a mug o' beer. MARLENE: Okay, Unky Cloud! (gets gin instead, fills a mug and gives it to Cloud) After putting the lights with the decors and Cloud drinking 50 mugs of "beer" CLOUD: starts to sing Hic ... hic ... Wreck the car ... hic ... with bows and dollies ... lalalalala ... hic ... lala ... hic AERIS, CID and TIFA: We need an angel on the tree! (looks at Vincent ... who was with Cait Sith and snickers) CAIT SITH: You're fortune is ... *moogle shakes and grabs the paper* Bad luck is coming your way ... ooooh! Another bad luck card! I haven't predicted this since Sephiroth got one of these ... AERIS and TIFA: -pushes Cait Sith aside and tries to look seductive and sweet- Vincent? VINCENT: (Looks at the two and finds himself blushing.) muttering: ... composure ... calm down ... think of Lucrecia VINCENT: Yes? What do you want now? CID: Pal, can ya @#%$in' do us a fava'? VINCENT: Um ... yes, what is the matter, Cid? AERIS, CID and TIFA: (grabs the surprised Vincent and ties him up really good) MUWAHAHAHA!!! //lightning flashes// VINCENT: *sweatdrop* Help me! //in a deadpan voice CLOUD: Lalalala ... hic ... Beer ... -faints- VINCENT: NOOOOO!!!! Let me go ... TIFA: Where is that white dress again? VINCENT: -gulps- NOOOOO!!!! Have mercy ... AERIS: Found it! (Cid gives it to Tifa because Aeris is a spirit) CID: I found the @#$$in' wings and the @#$$in' halo! VINCENT: NOOOOO!!!! Have mercy!!!! Please ... (looks helplessly at them) (everyone gangs up on Vincent and after that ... TA DA! Vincent is wearing a silk dress, with wings and a halo) AERIS, CID and TIFA: Isn't he cute!!!! (Cid puts him up on the tree) AERIS and TIFA: stares at Cid What did you say? Vincent ... cute??? CID: I give up ... I admit it ... I'm ... GAY! THE END! NOTE: Well that's about it. Please review this ... I hoped you enjoyed it! Not that funny ... ^^;