Perfect
I looked at the raging waters beneath me and said my last silent prayer. I was never really that much of a religious person, but for once I would like to place my life in someone who I know is perfect for it.
As I opened my eyes, I looked to my right then to my left. I saw only people walking by. They couldn't see me since I was a bit far from them and I was more or less covered by the trees, not that anyone would care.
I took a large intake of my last breath and closed my eyes before I jumped.
After a few seconds, in which I am sure, that I am supposed to have fallen on the waters and rocks, but the pain never came. Instead, I felt a hand holding my wrist that I never knew was even there until just now. I looked up to see the most dazzling shade of piercing crimson eyes before I realized that he was the reason I wasn't yet dead.
"Let me go! Let me go! Why are you doing this?" I shouted and started to flail.
But he didn't let go, he just pulled me up with little, or maybe even none, effort.
"Why?" was the only thing I could say as I fell flat on the solid ground.
He looked at me with those red mysterious eyes that suddenly made me conscious.
"What's your name?" He said after a matter of silence.
"What?" Why did you save me, and Why are you asking me that was what I really wanted to say but I just couldn't bring myself to say it.
"I am asking what your name is. Don't make me repeat it again." He said, his voice suddenly turning ice cold.
I couldn't help but swallow before answering him.
"Mikan. Mikan Sakura. "
"Okay then. From now on I'll call you Mikan." He said his voice still hard. I looked at him why he said that before he continued.
"And you'll be living in my house."
"What? What do you mean I'll be living with you? You don't have the right!" I said but before I could give him my point, he picked me up and placed me on his shoulders and walked away from the cliff.
I was so shocked that I didn't even notice that he already called somebody and that certain person arrived, with a LIMOUSINE.
He placed me inside, not so gently may I add, before sitting beside me.
"Take us home."
"Yes, master Hyuuga." The driver said before driving us off to who knows where.
After my screeching and screaming in the limousine, and "Hyuuga" not even bothering to listen, we finally arrived at "Hyuuga'" house, which was actually a mansion.
I couldn't help but gape at the sight. Flowers all lined up by the drive way, posts also. Maids and butlers doing the chores.
Before I realized it, we were already at the front door, with a butler holding out his hand to me. Then I realized he was asking me my hand.
"Ummm, miss?"
I was staggered and then just took his hand. He led me outside the limousine and I noticed that "Hyuuga" was already waiting for me at the front door.
I was still amazed at everything. I went to him and thanked the butler, who gave me a shocked gaze before he also smiled.
Now that I take a good look of him, he also looked handsome, very handsome actually. He had green eyes that would just remind you of the beautiful colour of nature and he had dirty blonde hair.
I blushed a bit before turning to "Hyuuga". He was giving me an unfathomable look before he sighed.
"As you would have already guessed, I am Natsume. Natsume Hyuuga and I am the master of this mansion. You will start living here, no objections, no questions and if I ask you something, you will answer honestly. Understood?"
I was still staring at him before he sighed.
"Do you understand Mikan?
I just nodded absentmindedly.
"Good. Josephine" He called to a maid.
"Yes Master Hyuuga?"
"Take Mikan to the room beside mine. I still have some business to finish up." Natsume said before turning his back to us and walked to a different room, which also led outside and out of our sight.
I didn't realize I was still looking at the place where Natsume was once before Josephine called me.
"Uh, yes?"
"I shall guide you to your room Miss Mikan."
As we arrived at my new room, I couldn't help but gape, which is happening a lot lately today.
The room was so big, with a queen-sized bed at the middle of the room and a closet at its far right. A different door was at the far left of the room, which I could guess is the bathroom.
"This is now your new room Miss Mikan. I hope it is to your liking."
"Don't worry! This is too much that I could even ask for. Thank you." I finished the sentence with my most thankful smile.
She looked at me shockingly, just like from the butler before, and then smiled.
I saw her retreating figure when I was still looking at the room when I called to her.
"Yes, Miss Mikan?"
"Please stay for a while. I'm still taking time to adjust and well, I guess I could need a friend to talk to." I said scratching the back of my head.
It took her a while before she replied.
"Of course Miss Mikan."
"Can I ask you a few; okay scratch that, a lot of questions? And please, just Mikan. "
"Sure Mis- I mean Mikan. Ask away.
So I did as she told me to. All the confusion I had since I met Natsume, I asked her.
She told me all she could honestly. Are you asking how I knew? Well, I could see it in her eyes. She told me all about the things about the mansion, butlers, business and Natsume, which was a lot because I realized she's been here the longest.
I didn't even realize that it was getting late until I heard another maid knock on my door and told us that it was already time for supper.
"Okay, we'll be out in a bit." I said as I opened the door and closed it again.
"Thank you Josephine. You've been a great help."
Josephine smiled at me. "No, it is quite alright."
I thanked her again, even though she told me not to again, and was about to go out when she said something else before she excused herself.
"I think I know why Master Hyuuga took you here."
I looked at her retreating back in confusion.
"Huh?"
...
Days went by after that incident and I got to learn a lot by then. I now know all the names of the staff, which is quite a lot, and now I know why Natsume is so rich.
Apparently, his parents own a very large empire called PhiZPA and when Natsume was just eight years old, his parents died in an accident and since he was an only child, when he turned 18 years of age, he now owns the whole empire. And coincidentally, he's only a year older than me. I'm just 17 while he's 18.
I also got to know Natsume a lot more. He can be quite carefree in his own manner at times; which are very rare times; but usually, he's very business and scary like.
Oh, and remember the butler from before who also looked very handsome? Well, his name is Ryan.
After a few weeks, I then started to notice that my body would do some weird things when I'm with Natsume. My palms would start to sweat and I would blush very hard and my heart would start to race. I'm not stupid to realize that I'm actually starting to fall in love with him.
There were a few problems though. One is that Natsume doesn't take girls seriously. He looks at them like play things. Two, apparently he doesn't trust women that much other than his relatives and the staff at the mansion because it seems he had a terrible experience with a girl he first truly loved, so now, he doesn't trust the women kind that much.
After a few more weeks, when I found the courage to confess my love for Natsume, Ryan called me first to go with him.
When we reached a secluded part of the mansion, he said those words that nearly made my heart stop beating.
"…I love you Mikan."
I couldn't say anything, not that I actually wanted to, but because I was totally speechless.
When I gained the courage to say something, he cut me off.
"I know you don't love me. You love the master, Master Hyuuga."
I looked at him with shock. Was I really that obvious?
And as if reading my mind, he chuckled.
"Yes, you are that obvious."
When I was finally able to find my voice, I asked him.
"If you knew I loved Natsume, why do you still tell me this?"
He looked at me with sad yet at the same time, happy eyes.
"It is because I want you to know my feelings before I give you to the master."
I blushed at this. It's not like he was sure that Natsume also loved me like the way I loved him.
And again, as if reading my mind, Ryan said something that made my heart melt.
"Master Hyuuga would be stupid if he let a girl like you get away from his hands."
After a few more minutes, he looked at me and I could see he already accepted the fact that I wasn't going to be ever his.
"Well, I think it is time for me to go and for you to confess your love to the Master." I blushed at the last part and Ryan saw this and laughed for a few seconds before I laughed with him.
When we both ran out of breath, Ryan smiled at me one last time before letting go.
When he was almost out of sight, I ran to him and hugged him by the back.
"Thank you for always being there for me Ryan. Thank you for always trying to make me laugh at times when I thought that everything was falling apart and thank you for giving me your acceptance than I can never be yours. I wish I could love you but my love is and will always be for Natsume but I'm sure you will find the perfect girl for you soon."
And with that, I walked away to look for Natsume but at the corner of my eyes, I could see tears streaming at Ryan's face when he turned back to look at my retreating figure.
After a few minutes of looking for Natsume, I finally saw him at the garden. He was reading a paper, probably another business merging.
"Natsume!" I called for him.
Natsume looked at me with his right brow slightly upward, the universal way of saying 'what?' and even though his business attire was crumpled a bit because of exhaustion and he had a tired look on his face, for me he still looked like the most handsome man on earth.
When I finally came face to face with him, he hid first the paper, before looking at me. He asked me again.
"What is it Mikan?"
But I couldn't say the words for some reason. I tried again, but I really couldn't. I didn't know why.
Natsume looked at me with irritation and annoyance, which honestly, I got used to already.
"Look Mikan, I am very busy and I don't have the time for your games."
With that, he stood up and was about to leave. I looked at him with helplessness. When he was a few feet away from me, I couldn't take it anymore and blurt it out a bit TOO loud.
...
"I LOVE YOU NATSUME!"
Well, that clearly stopped him. He turned around and his eyes were wide-eyed with complete shock.
"I LOVE YOU NATSUME HYUUGA. I love the way you laugh. I love the way you smile. I love the way you would try to hide the amusement in your face even though it's clearly there. I love everything about you. I don't love you for your money or your riches or your fortune, but I love the caring and your selfless attitude that you try so hard to hide. I love you Natsume. I truly do."
He then looked at me with an unreadable face, which made me nervous.
Then he finally said something.
"I'm sorry."
My eyes widened and then I looked down.
"I can't accept your love, I'm sorry."
"It's okay, but can I ask why?"
His expression changed and he looked almost sad.
"You know I'm a perfectionist. I want someone the same as me, not by money or by status but by courage and abilities. I do not doubt you or your abilities or anything but please let's just leave it at that."
With that, he was about to walk away but then I wouldn't have that kind of answer.
"I'll try my best to change!"
He looked back at me with a more shock-filled expression.
"I'll change my looks! I'll work harder! I'll change my personality! SO please don't say no because of that reason."
I looked down, tears ready to burst when someone hugged me and before I could look up, I heard Natsume say something that made my heart swell with so much love.
"Fine, I'll be with you."
I looked up to him and I just smiled and he smiled at me then his expression hardened.
"But remember, I have different expectations from everyone. I may be still hard on you also even though now you're my girlfriend so be ready also when some heart aches come in the relationship."
I didn't know what he meant, but I was so happy I just smiled.
"I know if we're together, we can do anything." And I really truly believed it.
I smiled at him and he smiled back at me…
…But I noticed his smile wasn't genuine and it looked almost guilty. Also, I noticed he gripped the paper before, even harder.
...
After days passed, I would love every second I got and honestly, every time we kissed and hugged, when I was with Natsume. He was just perfect.
One day, when I went to the mansion, I heard the staff talking.
"Why is Master Hyuuga doing this?"
"Doesn't he realize this will hurt more than just one very badly?"
"How dare the Master do this!"
"How come he made his decision so easily."
"Oh, Master Hyuuga, why?"
I was so curious, but I knew that it wasn't any of my business, and I guess if this was about business of the empire, then Natsume would surely find a solution.
...
After a few more days, it was finally our first monthsary. I was waiting for him near the amusement park when I got a text from him.
'I'm sorry Mikan, but I suddenly had a meeting. Can't come, I'm sorry.'
I sighed. I guess it couldn't be helped. He is a very busy man after all.
When I called Jonah and told him to come and fetch me, I waited at a bench. It was about three minutes when some guys that looked like rapists; honestly, they were wearing hoodies with somewhat like cover from the nose to the chin and were wearing identical black shades; came near me. I got afraid and started walking to the opposite way but they still followed me. I started to run and they also did.
My heart was beating so fast. The adrenaline rush was clearly taking over. When I turned a sharp left, I noticed I was already near where Jonah should be and expectedly, the limousine came and just the time when I went inside, the men went to the left, but I was already in the limousine about to go to the mansion.
I sighed as I finally relaxed.
"Are you okay Miss Mikan?"
"I'm fine Jonah, thanks."
As I relaxed down the chair, I looked out the window and we came to the part where a restaurant was at and I saw something.
Wait! Is that Natsume? No, no. It couldn't be.
I took a glass of water in the mini fridge and thought that the worst part had ended.
…Not knowing everything was all going to go downhill sooner than I thought.
...
It was really late, probably around ten but I wanted to see Natsume. It's our first monthsary so I should at least say to him that I love him face to face.
I was waiting in his room when I saw an envelope. I realized something. It was the same paper that Natsume kept on reading and crumpling on the day when I confessed.
"It wouldn't hurt to look right? Even just a sneak…peak…"
WHAT! This couldn't be right!
Then I suddenly heard the door open.
"Ughhh, I'm so tired. Hu- Wait, Mikan?"
But before he could say anything else, I turned around to let him see my face, which was already overflowing with tears.
"HOW COULD YOU!"
I shouted. I didn't care if the whole mansion could hear. How dare he betray me!
"Mikan, what's wrong?"
How dare he play innocent?
"How dare you! I change everything about me and you're still not satisfied!"
"Wha-"
"THIS!" I show him the paper I was reading and he immediately recognized it and became silent.
"IS THIS or IS THIS NOT TRUE!"
But he didn't say anything except,
"I'm sorry."
Tears started to fall faster and I ran outside the room then outside the mansion, not caring if every one of the mansion including Natsume was calling me.
HOW COULD HE!
How could he never told me he already had a marriage proposal and already accepted it and already has a fiancée and already had the date set up even before we got together! How could he!
DESPICABLE!
DESPICABLE!
DESPICABLE!
...
I keep running and running and running, not knowing and not caring where I'm going. I knew he wasn't serious but I still let him fool me in changing myself.
I could hear the other voices that are looking for me so I ran faster and how ironically.
After a few minutes, guess who found me? It was none other than Natsume Hyuuga. And where were we? The place where it all began. The cliff.
...
"Please listen first Mikan. I swear nothing is going on with me and Rhea. That marriage proposal was nothing. So please stop."
But I couldn't hear anything and when I heard his name and hers, I finally snapped.
"WHY! WHY! I did everything for you! I changed! I worked harder than ever in my life! And I was so devoted to you! Was it because I wasn't rich? Was it because I didn't own a successful known company or organization? Or was it just because of my personality-" I stopped for a minute.
Then I looked at him with more tears cascading down my cheeks.
"I'm not perfect, but I keep trying, so why-"
Then the next thing I knew, I was falling, I could see Natsume running after me, but he wasn't able to reach me though like the last time, and finally pain.
=0=0=0=
A little girl of 8 months shouted and cried as she was on her crib because no one was attending to her. Shouting and glasses shattering could be heard downstairs where her parents were.
After a few years, her parents would still argue.
"Did you hear? I heard that girl is actually just a mistake. I heard that her parents would always fight day and night, and she has to fend for herself." A mother of little Mikan's classmate whispered.
"Really? I heard she was only born because they didn't have another choice." Another mother whispered.
'Will mama and papa ever be friends?' Four-year old Mikan thought to herself as she saw her classmates get picked up from school by both parents, who would hug them.
"Mikan!" She was called as she turned her back and saw her mother wearing long sleeves again, probably to hide all the bruises and cuts her father gave her once again; not like she didn't do the same damage to him.
"Yes mama." She said as she hurried to her mother.
Days turned to weeks and weeks turned to years, but nothing would change. Her parents would still argue, but it tuned worse as each passing day would go.
From shouting, it turned to physical injuries that at the age of six, Mikan had to go home by herself to not let the neighbours or anybody get suspicious to all the different injuries.
From physical injuries, it would turn to going home drunk, argue and THEN injuries and Mikan couldn't do a single thing. Apparently, it was true. The mother who said that she was a mistake was true. Actually, her mother got pregnant with her at the age of sixteen through a one-night stand she didn't even know who with and her father felt guilty so he had to help her.
Their families abandoned them when they heard they were going to keep the baby; which was her; and even disowned them but her parents didn't care.
They thought that when time would pass, their problems also would, which is actually the biggest lie in the world.
Months passed, and they owed more debts, they couldn't buy food, they didn't have works that could help them that much because they weren't able to finish their education and everything went downhill after that.
Nobody would befriend Mikan because of all the rumours, which were all true. One had tried, but then that person also got bullied and treated as an outcast so she gave up befriending Mikan. The teachers couldn't do anything and everywhere she would go, more rumours would be made.
Mikan tried to change herself, thinking that that was the problem. She tried to change her looks, her personality, her aspects on life, but nothing could be done, she would still be treated as an outcast. And it was all because of her parents.
But Mikan couldn't hate her parents and never would. She loved them to much even though they didn't share the same feelings.
When Mikan turned sixteen, things were starting to change for the better. A few would try to talk to her, which she was so grateful for. When one tried, everybody did and soon, Mikan had at least made everyone in her batch as her associates, but that happiness didn't last. Somebody tried to make everyone stop talking to Mikan, which worked perfectly.
Rhea Jades was turning jealous and, as cliché as it is, made everyone think differently of Mikan. She told them lies that Mikan would secretly tell her that everybody was sluts and that when she tried to stop Mikan, she pushed her and then she fell down the stairs.
The parents heard this and made their kids stay away from her, making Mikan's life harder.
As Mikan's life was getting darker and darker by the second, something not even in her wildest dreams happened.
By Mikan's seventeenth birthday, as she went home, she saw her house…burning.
She ran and ran and tried to get in but the firemen wouldn't let her.
The only family she had that stuck by her since birth; her mother and her father; died in that incident and then she lost everything she once had.
=0=0=0=
'Huh? Where am I?' I thought to myself as I opened my eyes and saw pure white.
Then I noticed I was also wearing pure white robes.
"You are in heaven my dear." I tried to find where that voice came from and when I looked to my back, there I saw my parents.
I was speechless. Then as if something hit me hard, I fell on my butt.
I was dead.
I'm now in heaven, with my parents and I could live eternally with them.
I should be happy, right? But then, why am I crying tears of sadness. Then I remembered why.
I wouldn't be able to see Natsume and the staff anymore. I wouldn't be able to see them, talk with them, work with them, laugh with them and make the best kind of memories with them ever again.
I was still crying when someone touched my right cheek, which made me look up to see the identical brown eyes just like mine.
"Happy eighteenth birthday Mikan."
What? Shouldn't it be just the 18th of March, the day when I fell? Seven more months before my birthday?
"You must be confused." I heard my father say.
"What happened to me?" I asked and both my mother and father shared a look before telling me of my death.
After they told me everything, I was speechless once more.
When I fell off the cliff, I was still barely alive when Natsume found my body. He took me to the hospital, but I was too injured that it would be a miracle if I would still be alive. They were going to pull the plug on me when Natsume begged them not to.
"Even if it's just one. Even just 1%, I'll keep on hoping so don't let her go. I'll pay for everything so please just please, don't pull the plug on her." Natsume's exact words when he begged the doctors rang in my head.
They placed me in a temporary coma. Days passed, then weeks, then months and when six months came, that was the time when I took my last breath on earth and…died.
Natsume cried and cried and even broke everything he saw. He locked himself up in his room for days before getting my funeral ready, thinking that was the least he could do.
Natsume cancelled the marriage proposal to Rhea. Ironically, the same Rhea who ruined my life back then.
Now here I am, watching my funeral from above. Surprisingly, a lot of people came.
The place where I would be buried was somewhere a bit far from the mansion, maybe a one-hour trip, and flowers surrounded everything.
Natsume, Ryan, Josephine, the whole staff, my whole batch during high school, Hotaru; the girl who tried to befriend me; and even the families of my mother and father came to my funeral. They were all wearing the usual black and from above, for the first time, I saw the faces of the family I never knew.
Shockingly, they looked genuinely sad. Like they even cared for me. One thing made my eyes burn with tears though, that made me sure they at least cared.
On my aunt's arm, there my younger cousin, who looked no older than two months, was eating. But that wasn't what made me cry. On her neck was a bib and the name written there was Mikan.
A few minutes passed, and it was finally the saying of their goodbyes.
The first one was my aunt.
"I was so stupid before. Shutting out our youngest sister and my late brother-in-law has and will always be my biggest regret. After a few months, all of us realized our mistake and tried looking for you but we were never able to track down. I remember when Yuka and I were younger; she promised me that she would name her first born daughter after me, Miaka. Sure it's not the same, but so close" She started crying then.
"Even after my betrayal of my promise of always protecting her and siding with her, she still followed through our promise and for that I could never be any more grateful." Tears started flowing more.
"You even still made me the godmother of your child Alana just like you also promised. Why? Why?" She took a handkerchief from her pocket before continuing.
"I wanted so much to see you and your daughter. The whole family wanted to. I remember the times you tried to change our minds before by sending us the family with pictures of your ultrasound with Mikan, but we only threw it away and I am so sorry." She took a deep breath then continued.
"It is so sad that the first time I get to see the beautiful daughter of yours Yuka and Izumi is the day of her funeral, through a picture even. I wish so much to see her when she was just a little girl with her in your arms just like any sister would for her little sister, but pictures would just do for now." She stopped, and when I thought she was finished, she continued.
"Little Mikan, wait, you're not little anymore now, but still, let me call you that, even if it's just for now. I always wanted to call you that when I got the chance to meet you, but I guess it's too late now. Little Mikan, please forgive me." That shocked me. Forgive her? Forgive of what?
"Forgive me for not being the best aunt and godmother out there like I promised. Forgive me for treating your mother and father so horribly. Forgive me for not trying enough and lastly, forgive me for not forgiving you, when I thought back then that you were such a monstrosity before. I know it was a lie, because, even though just this photo, I can see the unique beauty you got from your mother and father and it made me wonder what everything would be like if I just stuck with your mother and father. I would have been able to meet you personally and many more opportunities that you got, I would have seen, but no. This is my punishment and for that all, please forgive me." She then left. She sat beside a man, who is probably her husband before another one came.
Hours passed, and the last one came up front and it was none other than Natsume Hyuuga himself.
"Mikan, I have three words I want you to hear. I love you." My eyes widened.
"In the one month we dated, you gave me your love unconditionally. You tolerated my rude and unusual behaviour like the best girlfriend, because you were and are still are. You devoted yourself to me and changed to be like I wanted you to be, which I deeply regret doing. I could see it in your eyes that you truly loved me, but I kept denying it was real love and just treated you for granted and for that, I am sorry." He took a shaky breath before continuing.
"Yes, it was true. Before we even got together, I was already engaged to Rhea. I accepted your confession and planned when it was a day before everything, I would break it off with you, thinking it wouldn't affect you that much. As days went by, I got to see the real you in many more ways than one and I got to feel something that I never felt and that was love. I never knew such a kind of love was true and it hurt me so much when I saw the look of betrayal on your face when you saw the letter. I tried to follow you and when I did, I tried to tell you I was sorry. I know I'm not worthy of your forgiveness but then you were always forgiving Mikan, and I know you already probably forgave everyone here in this funeral, living at peace in heaven." His eyes shifted and he looked so broken. I could see he tried to look strong and try not to cry, which was failing miserably.
"I always knew there was something special about you Mikan. At first, even I didn't know why I saved you back then from trying to kill yourself," With that comment, everybody gasped, but he still continued.
"I didn't know. I thought that maybe you would be worth the time and all other stuff like that, but now I know why. You were perfect. Sure, you didn't have the easiest life but you still tried to smile for the greater good of everyone. You would try to shoulder every burden by yourself. You're smart, you're kind, you're beautiful and you're everything I ever wanted but then I was so blind and took it all for granted.