What's Left Of Me
It was when he was dancing with her at her wedding that Ryan realised with a jolt that he loved her.
She had stood over him where he sat, arms crossed, instantly without words he knew what she wanted. "Awww, Summer, come on - you know I hate dancing!"
She didn't altered her stance at all, but her eyes began to sparkle in amusement, "and you know I like to dance - and it's my day so..." she held out her hand.
"Can't you go dance with Seth? Isn't that the point of the whole day?" Ryan began, trying to worm his way out, ignoring the hand she opened to him.
"He's dancing with Sophie - and the point of the day is for Seth and I to be able to declare and celebrate our love with friends and family!" She looked at him pointedly, pushing her hand out closer to him.
Ryan knew he may as well give in and do as she asked; he would in the end anyway.
He reached and took her hand, and she pulled him up with a squeal of excitement. A new song started on their way to the dance floor, a slower one than the one that had been on previously and Ryan felt relief wash over him - holding the bride in his arms and swaying, yeah, he could manage that.
Circling his arms around the small brunette he pulled her tight to him and felt her breath on his neck, it made him shiver.
Slowly Summer's head lifted from his chest and she leaned back a little so as they danced they could look into each other's eyes.
When the song ended they stayed like that for a minute, and realising what they must look like, Ryan choked out a, "congratulations," before turning and leaving her on the dance floor.
He couldn't believe it, somehow, somewhere along the line he had fallen in love with her and hadn't even realised until now... he was in love with his brother's new wife.
It was when she found out Taylor had cheated on him that she realised she loved him.
Getting the call from Taylor to say Ryan had caught her in the act, her heart ached for him to be OK. "You know what Taylor?" She said into the phone.
"What?" Taylor responded, waiting for some words of comfort from what she considered her best friend.
"You don't deserve him," with that, Summer hung up, jumped to put her coat on and dashed out into the rainy night to check on Ryan.
Finding he wasn't at his apartment, nor was he answering his phone, Summer checked the construction site he worked on but he wasn't there either.
Stood out in the pouring rain on his construction site and pretty much giving up, she realised she wouldn't be doing this for just anyone, and without her mind being clouded of the rational places Ryan would be, it came to her in complete clarity; she already knew where he was. With a sudden heartache she realised she knew him more than she thought she did. And she realised that at some point she had fallen in love with her brother in law.
The first time Ryan realised Summer loved him was when he had been in a car accident and subsequently got rushed to hospital, the paramedics worried about internal bleeding; unable to reach the Cohen's they had dialled Seth, and got Summer.
When he had had his scans and was wheeled back onto the ward a flash of brown hair was strewn across his body with a "thank god!"
He realised it was Summer about 2 seconds before she raised her head, her eyes meeting his, he took in her tear stained face and smudged make up and he smiled, "hey."
She slapped him around the cheek and the nurses gasped with shock, "don't you hey me, Mister!" She took a shaky breath, "I thought... I thought..."
"It's OK," he reached forward and pulled her back down to him, pulling his arms around her, "I'm OK..."
A few minutes passed as he held her and let her get over her tears, but when she pulled away and began to straighten herself out and hold him she was going outside to try again to get in touch with Seth and the Cohen's she gave him this total look of relief, and he knew.
The first time Summer realised Ryan was in love with her was when she heard her Mom had passed away. Having not had much contact with the woman since she was 13 years old Summer wasn't sure how to feel. So she had put up a front of not caring. She fooled everyone; even Seth.
After a family dinner at the Cohen's ending with Sandy and Kirsten clearing up and Seth challenging Sophie to some of his old computer games Ryan found Summer sat outside taking in the stars nursing a glass of wine.
He sat next to her, "hey. How are you holding up?"
He watched as she let a flicker of confusion flash across her face, "what? I'm fine..."
"Summer, you're Mom died two days ago, you are not fine," he simply stated.
"I didn't even know the woman, Ryan," she said with a shrug.
"That doesn't mean you are not allowed to feel something," he pushed.
"Look, Ryan," she began, but before she could launch into a tirade about not caring, Ryan reached for her hand.
"And if you don't know what you feel, that's OK too..."
They sat there for a while before Sophie bounded out to get them to witness her "whooping Seth's ass at PlayStation."
As Ryan let his sister pull him up and drag him inside he shared a lingering gaze with Summer, and she knew.
They both knew, and somehow knew the other knew, but it wasn't awkward between them. Nothing they did ever eluded to anything seedy.
To anyone that knew them they knew their relationship to be strong, a strong bond between a sister and brother in law... to anyone that didn't the love was obvious, but no one ever mentioned it, because so was Seth and Summer's love.
And somehow they both knew nothing would ever happen; what they felt for one another was undeniable but so was the fact she was married to his brother, whom they both loved.
When the earthquake hit, thoughts of Summer filled his mind. As soon as it was over and he had checked all the men left at the construction site were OK (thankfully it had been at the end of the working day, and since experiencing the last earthquake Ryan always factored in earthquake safety into his building plans) and found that luckily there were only a couple of guys that had minor scrapes, he called Sandy, ultimately hoping they would had heard from Seth (he was concerned for Seth too) and Summer.
Sandy informed him they all were fine, Kirsten had a nasty gash on her arm and they were on the way to hospital to get it checked out, they'd probably have a wait, but they would be meeting Seth and Summer there.
Ryan's heart nearly stopped "are they -"
"They're fine, son," Sandy assured him, "Seth took a hit to the head, there was some blood and his colleagues called him an ambulance but Summer's spoken to his doctor and it's just a concussion. They may keep him overnight but he'll be fine -"
"So Summer's OK?" Ryan asked anxiously.
"Yeah, she's on her way there from work now, you going to join us at the hospital?"
"Well if everyone's OK, I have quite a bit to deal with here," Ryan looked around him at the destroyed construction site, "keep me in the loop though Sandy."
"I will," Sandy promised as they hung up.
Ten minutes later Ryan had a text from Summer, the first he ever felt the need to delete the second he had read it.
Summer had sent him many messages, invites for dinner at her and Seth's place, the occasional joke, news about her job... but never a hotel name, a suite number and a time...
Ryan knocked nervously at the number of the hotel room Summer had sent him, precisely on time.
She answered quickly and stepped to the side, her eyes on the floor not wanting to meet his gaze at all.
Ryan walked into the middle of the room, excruciatingly aware of the huge bed that was there to greet him, he turned back to face Summer who was shutting the door.
Once it was closed she slowly turned to face him, her eyes finally meeting his.
She strode toward him and stopped, inches away, holding his gaze.
Summer sighed and opened her mouth to speak, but Ryan placed his thumb to silence her.
Her eyes said it all, there was no need for words, as she reached up toward him, he bent his head down and met her lips with his in a slow passionate first kiss.
When Ryan woke and Summer was not there he panicked for a moment before his ears picked up on the sound of the shower running and his eyes noticed her bag still on the dresser opposite.
A few minutes later Ryan watched as Summer emerged from the bathroom wrapped in a huge white towel, she cautiously sat on the side of the bed.
She just sat for a while, scared to say anything to sum up what they had done.
"You know, words seem..." She said after a while.
Ryan nodded, "I know... I don't think we need them..." He looked at her intensely trying to confirm to her everything he felt.
"I have to say though... I am married to Seth..." Ryan's heart dropped, he had stupidly thought... "I love Seth," she confirmed, "but you have what's left of me..."
Ryan's heart swelled at her words. He was hers. She was his. It didn't matter what anyone said about her love with Seth, he somehow knew -
"We can never do this again," she stated the obvious.
He nodded, "I never thought it would happen to be honest..."
"It's my fault... when the earthquake was happening, my mind filled with you - I had to see you."
"I..." Ryan was at a loss for words, he wanted to keep this whole thing short and simple, the more they said to one another - they had never needed words before and somehow knew how they felt... "I'm yours."
Summer nodded and clasped his hands, "I know."
Then abruptly she stood, "I'd better get going, visiting hours start at 9," she said, subtly reminding them both she had a husband in the hospital.
She grabbed her clothes that had fallen to the end of the bed and disappeared back into the bathroom to dress.
Ryan took a minute to collect his thoughts and then finally stood, starting to get dressed too whilst she was still in the bathroom, only managing to get his boxers and jeans on before she reappeared.
Summer took in his bare chest and moved toward him, "god, you're hard to say goodbye too -" she said admiring the view.
"- I'll probably be seeing you later," he gave her a sad smile, "I got to visit Seth at some point."
She moved a hand onto his chest, placing it over his heart, and smiled to herself, "I imagined this - us. I thought it would be hard and rough and quick...filled with emotion but still..."
Ryan grinned he couldn't help it, "me too. But it was better like this... slow, gentle, loving..."
Summer swallowed, "should we say it? Just once..."
Ryan reached and touched her hair tenderly, "we don't need to. We are beyond words - we've already said too much." He stepped away from her, "you'd better go."
She nodded slowly and left.
OK so I'd hate to come across like I need to explain my fic, but I do what to mention these two songs that inspired it; and partiularly lyrics listed :)
I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
So I won't hesitate
No more, no more.
It cannot wait,
I'm sure.
There's no need to complicate.
Our time is short.
This is our fate,
I'm yours.
(Because Rymmer don't need to compliacate their love with words. And even when Summer is with Seth, she's Ryan's, and he's hers. I imagined I'm Yours to be the song they make love to)
What's Left Of Me - Nick Lachey
Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been.
/
It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head
Please please review