TF2 x Overwatch new ships
Mann Co. has been fighting Overwatch for days. The mercs are BLU Scout, RED Soldier, BLU Pyro, BLU Demoman, BLU Heavy, RED Engineer, BLU Medic, RED Sniper, RED Spy. Mrs. Pauling made a contract for them to destroy the Overwatch in exchange for tons of Australium the mercs all agree. Mrs. Pauling goes over the plan, first with Scout. Mrs. Pauling says "Scout you will distract the first defense which consist of Zarya, Mei, Torbjorn, and Brigitte. You will draw their fire along with Soldier." Scout then says "Why me dodge all of them, you're asking for the impossible." Mrs. Pauling says "Scout, you have BONK, you can dodge everything they throw at you." Mrs. Pauling then says "Soldier, you will draw fire from flying heroes such as Mercy, Pharah, and ." Soldier then asks "How do I know which heroes fly?" Mrs. Pauling then responds in anger "Soldier you dumbass, you're dumber than Scout, it's like rocket jumping only they don't drop down." Soldier then says "That kinda makes sense, but I don't understand it." Mrs. Pauling frustrated by Soldier's inability to understand moves on to Pyro. Mrs. Pauling says "Pyro you will help Scout against Torbjorn and take down Ashe and absorb any fire your teammates absorb." "Got it?" Pyro then says "mmmmmpppppphhhhh". Mrs. Pauling then goes over the rest of the plan.
In King's Row,Scout starts running to the overwatch to draw their fire. He then starts taunting them saying "Yo I'm the fastest thing you ever saw and nothing can catch me." Zarya, Mei, Brigitte, and Torbjorn begin to laugh and Torbjorn says "Are the Team Fortress cowards for sending a boy to do their work." Scout then starts laughing as well. Scout then says "Well I was sent to distract you". Mrs. Pauling then gets frustrated and says "Scout you idiot, you gave away what our plan is and I meant draw their fire, not taunt them." Scout then says "Yeah I'll draw their fire without harm, after all what is the point of fighting with them when there are plenty of hot chicks for all of us." Mrs. Pauling gets frustrated while Soldier says "Is there a chick for me, cause I'm in".
Scout hoping he could get Tracer was surprised when Spy already had her. Spy then says "Scout I am your real father, and Tracer is now your stepmother." Scout then says "That's not true in any way, that is completely impossible." Spy then says "You'll accept it in time." Tracer then says "Can't wait to spend time with my new son" as she made herself much older as she is squeezing his cheeks with her fingers."
Meanwhile Demoman and Brigitte are hanging out and Demoman says this "I'll stick this sword so far up your arse, you'll die." Brigitte then asks "Um what?" Demoman says "Aye lass I'll stick Eyelander up your arse and take your bloody head" as Demoman pulls out Eyelander while it says headsssss." Brigitte realizes what he is going to do and screams in terror as she runs away to get away from him while Demoman says "And don't come back anymore or I will have your bloody head." Brigitte finds Scout and she asks "Please let's be together". Then Scout asks "Weren't you with Demoman?" Brigitte then responds "He was going to kill me, and I see Tracer is your mother. I always wanted a mother like her." Brigitte seduces Scout enough that he and Brigitte eventually kiss.
Engineer meanwhile was watching and said "Ain't that a cute little pair." As soon as Engie notices Ana he says "Hey, names Dell Conhagher, who are you." Ana then says "I am Ana Amari, one of the world's greatest snipers, and Fareeha's mother which you know as Pharah." Engineer says "I never raised children and I am in my 60s." Ana says "As smart as you probably are, I like a giant, smart, and strong man such as your friend." Engie then notices Heavy next to her, which Heavy says "Sniper woman is mine, I have a PHD in Russian Literature. She likes me." Engie then says "Don't brag about it dummy, I know you want to steal her." Ana then says "Enough, I'm sorry Heavy I like Engie better, he is much calmer and smarter." Heavy then says "ooooohhhh noooooo."
Heavy is down for a while until he looks up and sees an old but young looking giant woman and very hot named Aleksandra Zaryanova. She is the hottest woman Heavy ever saw and procedes to take her hand before she says "I wish I was the tiny man's mother by marrying invisible man" Heavy then says "What?" Zarya then says "If I married Spy, I would be Scout's mother, for I wish I could press him between my bosoms just like my adopted daughter Olivia." Heavy and Zarya proceed to kiss.
Demoman threatened to kill Brigitte due to Demoman's haunted sword telling him to turn Brigitte away, however Demoman found new love without his sword interfering, going by the name Ashe. Seeing her with a shotgun and Dynamite, Demoman says "Now there's a fine lass." Demoman then says "Aye mate me name's Tavish Degroot, but me friends call me Demoman or Mr. Black Scottish Cyclops" Ashe then says "My name is Elizabeth Caledonia Ashe." Ashe then asks "Are you going to turn me away just as you did to Brigitte?" Demoman then says "Aye crape, me haunted sword interfered with the lass." Ashe then says "I bet your sword won't haunt me, I think you are handsome." They then proceed to kiss.
Soldier sees a hot woman known as Pharah, who likes Soldier due to his ability to fight naked and covered in honey. She proceeds to say "I like how brave you are and I heard you killed Nazis in World War II before they kicked you out." Soldier then says "Yes, I killed those cowardly maggots for America." Pharah then says "I heard you rocket jump and that sounds completely dangerous." Soldier then says "Bah, it's fine when you have rocketboots known as Gunboats." Soldier then proceeds to Rocket Jump and Pharah is impressed at how he just did that without any leg or body armor." Soldier then says "See rocket jumping is fine, you try." Pharah then tries Rocket jumping with her rocket launcher and she does epecailly since she is more armored. As she gets back down, she then says, "You are the bravest man I have ever met." Then they kiss and Pharah says "I promise our kids will learn to fly and rocket jump like Egyptian and American."
Sniper being one considered a coward, actually proved he is very brave due to actually becoming the husband of the most dangerous assasin known as Widowmaker. Sniper being calm meets Widowmaker and says "Aye mate, I'm Mundy Martin, who are you" Widowmaker then says "My name is Amelie Lacriox and I am the world's deadliest assasin, why did you come anyway, speak before I kill you." Sniper then says "Aye I just a found a beautiful mate, one of the best in the world." Widowmaker then says "Then you came to the wrong place." Widowmaker is about to kill him when Sniper says "Aye I'm an assasin not a crazed gunman and sniping's a good job mate." Widowmaker seeing how much in common they have, says "I guess you did find the perfect mate, who knew we would be alike." They then proceed to kiss and Widowmaker says "I will teach our kids sniping and widow kissing."
Medic searching for a wife of medicine finds one named Moira O' Deorain. Medic then says "My name is Fritz Ludwig, and I am ze Medic on ze team, who are you." Moira then says "My name is Moira O' Deorain, former medic of Blackwatch and new medic of Talon." Medic then says "I am like you, I became a medic when I experimented on ze patient, and when ze patient woke up, his skeleton was missing, and ze doctor was never heard from again, hahahahaha." Moira then laughts until she says "I can suck the life from people or heal them and Blackwatch once funded me, until Overwatch was shut down, then I worked for Talon." As Medic and Moira tell about what they have done, they realize they have so much in common and eventually kiss.
Spy and Tracer are dating and Tracer asks "Why does my new baby hate you?" Spy then answers "He is on the opposite team and I never took care of him." Tracer then asks "Why am I dating you then, I only thought I could cuddle with my new baby." Spy then says "Don't worry, you can cuddle with him, and we should go with him to his hometown of Boston along with his Swedish wife." Tracer and Spy then proceed to kiss.
Pyro wandering around is really sad that Symmetra knows what he sees and turns him away. Pyro thinks he is alone, until he finds a new girl named Mei-Ling Zhou. Pyro as soon as he sees her thinks "The prettiest girl I have ever seen." Pyro then removes his mask, and says "My name is Fred Pyromann." He also reveals his face with burnmarks. Mei then says "Even burnt, you are perfect my dragon." Pyro then likes Mei's poetic usage and says "As are you my snowflake." They then proceed to kiss.
Mrs. Pauling eventually joins in, thought she is feeling left out until she finds the perfect girl, going by the name Sombra. Also known as Olivia Colomar, she uncloaks as she says "If you trust me and don't do anything to me, I can perhaps protect you from your bossy amiga." Mrs. Pauling then says "But." Sombra then says "No buts, I will protect you and hack every robot they throw at you." Sombra then kisses Mrs. Pauling.
Meanwhile Scout and Brigitte are dating and Scout says "I grew up with eight older brothers who used to beat me up until I learned I could beat them all by running". Brigitte then sees that Scout is like her and she says "I grew up with many older sisters and Torbjorn was hoping one of them would take up his legacy, and I was the only one who did." Scout and Brigitte then begin to kiss and Brigitte says "Our kids will become great knights and runners."
Meanwhile the Administrator is yelling "Betrayal will not be tolerated, you will continue fighting or I will hunt you down." Brigitte then says "Scout is mine, nothing will take him from me." Scout then gives the middle finger to the camera and says "Fuck you and fuck this war." Before Administrator presses the button that sends the robots, Sombra secretly hacked it. Administrator presses the button and realizes it is not working and Sombra uncloaks saying "Well amiga, the good thing about old women like you is you don't know what modern technology can do. Administrator then grabs her Saxxy award and swings it at Sombra, but the hacker dodged and then Helen heard a gun behind her head. Pauling then says "I now know it was you who set up Soldier and Demoman just so you could continue the stupid war, my girlfriend Sombra is better than you. Then the mercanaries then proceed with their girlfriends.
After the long night, they then proceed to go to their homes. Zarya adopted Sombra as her daughter after she was sent by Katya to hunt down Olivia Colomar. Learning of Olivia's past, Zarya then wants a daughter like her to raise correctly and she realizes even the Omnics have their reasons for killing humans. Zarya did successfully capture Olivia Colomar, but when brought to court, Zarya demanded that Sombra be made a teenager and Zarya becomes older. Katya at first disagreed, but after Zarya revealed she won't protect Katya if she doesn't agree, Katya agreed to Zarya's terms in exchange Zarya still be her bodyguard. While Traveling to the U.S. to visit Winston's lab, Zarya also received a certain armor for resting in which she could stuff Sombra in. The suit however was bulkier, but it allowed Sombra to fit in with ventilation built in. With this armor Zarya was now a walking bed with a girl inside her. Zarya thinks Sombra can be a much better girl when not orphaned. When night comes Zarya opens her suit to put Sombra in so she can rest her new daughter. When they reach Winston's lab, Winston already had Tracer there for the plan. Zarya then says to Sombra "You will be my daughter and I may press you at my bosoms sometimes." Tracer preparing to use her chronal accelerators output source shoots a beam from her mechanism which turns Sombra in her 20s actually due to a malfunction. Zarya fine with this, demands to be changed to her 50s so she can be Sombra's mother still. Zarya nearly as old as Reinhardt also asks if Reinhardt would be her husband. Reinhardt however says no. Zarya being a mother who already has her child grown up, continues to still love her. After the night, Sombra wakes up from within Zarya's resting suit and gets dressed to go to her new job as she is changed. She now is in college in an attempt to learn more of the cloaking.
A few days later Tracer is already in Scout's Mom's house along with her new stepson Scout and her new husband spy. Tracer also made her girlfriend Emily in her 40s to match the age. Spy doesn't take care of Scout, but Tracer loves to cuddle with Scout while Emily thinks it's a little weird especially how Scout is grown up. Emily says "Lena, isn't Jeremy a little too old to be cuddled?" Tracer then says "Aye love, he's my son."